فصل 10

CHAPTER 10

Have Confidence in Yourself

Each of us has an internal dialogue, an inner conversation going on with ourselves throughout the day. In fact, we talk more to ourselves than we do to anybody else. The question is, What are you saying to yourself? What do you meditate on? Positive thoughts? Empowering thoughts? Affirming thoughts? Or do you go around thinking negative, defeated thoughts, telling yourself things like “I’m unattractive. I’m not talented. I’ve made many mistakes. I’m sure God is displeased with me.” That kind of negative self-talk keeps millions of people from rising higher.

I’ve discovered that often these wrong-thinking patterns stem from childhood. I know people who are stuck in a rut because as they were growing up, somebody mistreated them, or somebody rejected them. A parent, a coach, or even a peer spoke negative words over the person. They didn’t know any better. They just let it take root. Now those wrong-thinking patterns are keeping that person from becoming all God intends him or her to be.

We have to reprogram our minds. Please don’t lay in bed every morning thinking about everything that’s wrong with you. Don’t lie there and rehearse all your mistakes—thinking about what you can’t do or how you don’t have what it takes. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve tried and failed. You have to shake off those negative messages, and put on a new recording. Remind yourself often: “I am a child of the Most High God. I have a bright future. God is pleased with me. I am talented; I am creative; I have what it takes. I will fulfill my destiny.” We should be talking to ourselves that way, not in arrogance but in a quiet confidence. Deep down on the inside, all through the day, we should hear things like “I am anointed. I am called. I am chosen. I am equipped. This is my season.” Our internal dialogue should always be positive and hopeful. We should always talk to ourselves with empowering, affirming thoughts. We have to get out of the habit of thinking negative thoughts about ourselves.

If you too will talk to yourself in the right way, you’ll not only enjoy your life more, but you’ll rise higher to a new level of confidence, a new level of boldness.

Don’t listen to voices that are pulling you down. You may not look like you stepped out of a fashion magazine, but I can tell you this: You were made in the image of Almighty God. You will be amazed at how much more you enjoy your life and how much better you feel about you, if you’ll learn to talk to yourself in a positive manner. And even when you make mistakes, even when you do wrong, don’t go around saying, “Well, I can’t do anything right. I’m so clumsy. I’m so slow.” Learn to put on that new recording, tell yourself “I am forgiven. I am restored. God has a new plan. Good things are in store.”

I was blessed to be raised by parents who instilled in me this kind of confidence and self-esteem. As I was growing up, my parents always told me that I could accomplish great things; they constantly reminded me that they were proud of me. Having people in our lives who will nurture and encourage us, especially at a young age, when we’re forming so many of our thought patterns, is extremely important.

Parents, I would encourage you to instill these qualities in your children. They need your love, your encouragement, your approval, and your affirmation. Don’t ever put your children down. Don’t say things like “Why can’t you make good grades like your brother?” Or “You are just not smart enough to attend college.” “If you keep that up, you’re not going to amount to anything.” Words are like seeds. They can take root and grow in a person’s mind for years. Certainly, when our children are small, we have to correct them, but don’t make the mistake of saying things such as, “You are such a bad boy,” “You’re a bad girl.” No, he or she is not a bad person. They may have done something wrong, but they are good children. They’re made in the image of Almighty God. God didn’t make any junk. Parents, we have a responsibility to instill confidence, self-esteem, and security into our children.

My brother Paul and his wife, Jennifer, have the cutest little boy named Jackson. He’s always happy and so much fun to be around. Every night when Jennifer takes Jackson to bed, she tells him a story and prays with him. Just before she says good night, she says, “Now, Jackson, let me remind you who you are,” then she’ll go through this long list of superheroes. “Jackson, you’re my Superman. You’re my Power Ranger. You’re my Buzz Lightyear. You’re my Rescue Hero. You’re my Lightning McQueen. You’re my cowboy. You’re my baseball player.” Little Jackson just lies there with a big smile on his face, taking it all in.

What is Jennifer doing? She’s giving Jackson fuel for his internal dialogue. Even though he’s only three years old, Jennifer is saying to him, “Jackson, you are special; you are valuable; you’re going to do great things in life.”

Something funny happened the other day. Paul and Jennifer got home late, so Jennifer put Jackson to bed in a hurry. She didn’t take time to go through the long list of superheroes. A few minutes later, she heard this little voice calling out from upstairs. “Mamma, mamma.” Jennifer ran to the staircase and called, “Yes, Jackson, what’s wrong?” He said, “Mamma, you forgot to tell me who I am.” There’s a deeper truth to that simple statement. I have found that if we don’t tell our children who they are, somebody else will. I want to tell my children: “You’ve got what it takes. There’s nothing you can’t do. Mother and Daddy are behind you. We’re proud of you. We believe in you.” Speak words of blessing over your children. Speak victory over their lives. They need your encouragement. They need your approval. Help them to have a big vision for their lives.

The Scripture says, “Our faith is made effectual when we acknowledge everything good in us.” Think about this: Our faith is not effective when we acknowledge all our hurts and pains. It’s not effective when we stay focused on our shortcomings or our weaknesses. Our faith is most effective when we acknowledge the good things that are in us. When we believe in God’s Son, Jesus Christ, and believe in ourselves, that’s when our faith comes alive. When we believe we have what it takes, we focus on our possibilities.

I may be naïve, but I expect people to like me. I expect people to be friendly to me. I expect people to want to help me. I have a positive opinion about who I am because I know whose I am—I belong to Almighty God.

Don’t walk into a room timid and insecure, thinking, Nobody’s going to like me in here. Look at them; they’re probably talking about me already. I knew I shouldn’t have worn this suit. I knew I should have stayed at home.

No, get your inner dialogue going in a different direction. Develop a habit of being positive toward yourself; have a good opinion about who you are. “Well, Joel, I’m just a housewife. I’m just a businessperson. I’m just a schoolteacher.” No, you are not “just” anything. You are a child of the Most High God. You are fulfilling your purpose. The Lord orders your steps. Goodness and mercy are following you. You are a person of destiny. Knowing and acknowledging these things can boost your confidence sky high.

Get up every morning and say to yourself, “I am blessed. I am equipped. I have the favor of God. This is going to be a great day.” All through the day, play that over and over in your mind. Keep the right recording on. Dwell only on positive, empowering thoughts toward yourself. That’s when your faith will be energized. Do not make the mistake of merely acknowledging what’s wrong with you. Acknowledge what’s right with you. Have a good opinion of who you are. If you’ll get in this habit of talking to yourself the right way with these positive empowering affirming thoughts, you’ll not only have more confidence, you will rise higher and see God’s blessings and favor in a greater way.