فصل 7

PART TWO

BE POSITIVE TOWARD YOURSELF

CHAPTER 7

Stop Listening to Accusing Voices

If you truly want to become a better you, it is imperative that you learn to feel good about yourself. Too many people live under condemnation, constantly listening to the wrong voices. The Bible refers to the enemy as “the accuser of the brethren” who would love for us to live our lives guilty and condemned. He constantly brings accusations against us, telling us what we didn’t do or what we should have done. He’ll remind us of all our past mistakes and failures.

“You lost your temper last week.”

“You should have spent more time with your family.”

“You went to church, but you arrived late.”

“You gave, but you didn’t give enough.”

Many people swallow these lines with little or no defense. They walk around feeling guilty, condemned, and extremely discontented with themselves. They go through the day without joy, without confidence, expecting the worst and often receiving it.

Granted, no human being is perfect. We’ve all sinned, failed, and made mistakes. But many people don’t know they can receive God’s mercy and forgiveness. Instead, they allow themselves to be beaten up on the inside. They tune in to that voice telling them, “You blew it. You messed up.” As a result, they become extremely critical toward themselves, and that usually spills over to other people as well.

If we’re going to live in peace with ourselves, we must learn to put our foot down and say, “I may not be perfect, but I know I’m growing. I may have made mistakes, but I know I am forgiven. I have received God’s mercy.”

As long as you’re doing your best and desire to do what’s right according to God’s Word, you can be assured God is pleased with you. Certainly, He wants you to improve, but He knows that we all have weaknesses. We all do things that we know in our hearts we shouldn’t do. When our human foibles and imperfections poke through our idealism, it’s normal to get down on ourselves. After all, we tend to think, we don’t deserve to be happy; we have to prove that we’re really sorry.

But no, we should learn to receive God’s forgiveness and mercy. Don’t allow those condemning voices to play repeatedly in your mind. That will only accentuate a negative attitude toward yourself. If you have a bad attitude toward you, it will hinder every area of your life.

The Apostle Paul once said, “The things I know I should do, I don’t. The things I know I shouldn’t do, I end up doing.” Even this great man of God who wrote half the New Testament struggled in this regard. That tells me God does not disqualify me merely because I don’t perform perfectly, 100 percent of the time. I wish I did, and I’m constantly striving to do better. Sometimes I make mistakes or wrong choices, but I have learned not to beat myself up over those things. I don’t wallow in condemnation; I refuse to listen to the accusing voice. I know God is still working on me, that I’m growing, learning, and becoming a better me. I have made up my mind that I’m not going to live condemned during the process.

That accusing voice will come to you and tell you, “You lost your temper last week in traffic.”

Your attitude should be, “That’s okay. I’m growing.”

“Well, you said some things yesterday you shouldn’t have.”

“Yes, that’s true. I wish I wouldn’t have spoken like that, but I have repented. Now, I know I’m forgiven. I’m going to do better next time.” “Well, what about that failure you went through two years ago in your relationship and in your business?”

“That’s in the past. I’ve received God’s mercy. This is a new day. I’m not looking back, I’m looking forward.”

When we have that kind of attitude, we take away the lethal power of the accuser. He can’t control us when we don’t believe his lies.

No, you need to start talking back to the accuser. You need to rise up in your authority and say, “Wait a minute. I am the righteousness of God. God has made me worthy. God does not focus on what’s wrong with you. He focuses on what’s right with you. He’s not looking at all your faults and weaknesses. He’s looking at how far you’ve come, and how much you’re growing. As a parent, I don’t focus on what our children do wrong. Our child can strike out a thousand times at the Little League field, but we’ll go around bragging about the one hit he got all year long. As I write these words, our son Jonathan is twelve years old. If somebody asks me about him, I immediately think of all the things I love about Jonathan. I’ll tell you he’s smart, talented, and funny. He has a quick sense of wit.

I know Jonathan is not perfect. He makes mistakes, and it is my joy to teach him, to train him, to help him come up higher. That’s the way God is with us. He loves us unconditionally.

I love the story Jesus told about the prodigal son. This young man made a lot of mistakes. He told his dad that he wanted his share of the inheritance. When the father gave the son his money, the boy left home, went out, and lived a wild life. Eventually, those poor choices caught up to him. When his money ran out, so did his friends. He didn’t have anything to eat, any place to stay, and he ended up working in a hog pen feeding the pigs. He got so desperate and low, he had to eat the hog food just to stay alive.

One day, sitting in that filth and shame, he said to himself, “I will arise and go back to my father’s.” That was the best decision that he ever made. When you make mistakes, when you go through failures and disappointments, don’t sit around in self-pity. Don’t go month after month condemning yourself, rejecting yourself. The first step to victory is to get back up again and go back to your Heavenly Father’s loving arms.

The young man headed home, and I’m sure in the back of his mind, he thought, I’m just wasting my time. My father is never going to receive me back. He’s going to be so put out with me. I’ve made so many terrible choices. The Scripture says, “When the father saw him a long way off.” That tells me the father must have been looking for him. When the father got there, he embraced his son; he hugged him. He was so happy to see him, but the son just hung his head in shame. He started to say, “Dad, I’ve really blown it. I’ve made some terrible decisions. And I know I don’t deserve any of this, but maybe you could take me back as one of your hired servants.” The father would have nothing to do with that. He said, “What are you talking about? You are my son. I want to celebrate the fact that you are home.”

Perhaps you think that God could never forgive you. You’ve made too many mistakes, blown it too many times. But let me assure you, nothing that you’ve done is too much for the mercy of God. Your heavenly Father is not looking for ways to condemn you or to chew you out. He stands before you with His arms held open wide. If you are far from where you know you ought to be, you need to know that God is waiting for you, and the moment you take one step toward Him, your Father will come running to you.

The father said to one of his servants, “Go get the best robe and put it on my son.” One translation says, “Put the robe of honor on him.” Similarly, you may have made foolish mistakes and suffered some severe setbacks. However, God doesn’t simply want to restore you. He doesn’t merely want to give you a new beginning. He wants to put the robe of honor on you. That’s just the way our God is. In other words, even when we make mistakes, even when we bring the trouble on ourselves, God is so good, when we return to Him, He will not hold that against us. He will receive us back and make something great out of our lives.

The only way this can happen, though, is if we have the right attitude. We cannot continue wallowing in the dirt and expect to have God’s best. You may not be where you should be in life, but don’t sit around in self-pity. Do as that prodigal son did and say, “I’m going to arise and go back to my father.” In other words, “I’m done with living in guilt, shame, and condemnation. I’m going to get up out of this mess, and start receiving God’s mercy.”