فصل 15

My Blooper Video Goes Viral

MY COURAGE IMPRESSED NO ONE.

I squirmed in my seat as the video played. The einherjar watched the screens in shocked silence. Then the mumbling and grumbling began, punctuated by bursts of incredulous laughter.

Valkyrie Vision showed only portions of what had happened. I saw myself on the bridge, facing Surt as he summoned a fiery tornado. The camera zoomed in on me threatening him with my corroded piece of metal. Then Hearth and Blitz appeared. Blitz hit the Black One with his MAKE WAY FOR DUCKLINGS sign. Hearth’s squeaky toy arrow hit me in the butt. Surt punched me. Surt kicked me in the ribs. I puked and squirmed in agony.

The video fast-forwarded to me backing up against the bridge railing. Surt threw his fiery asphalt cannonball. I swung my sword and missed. In the feast hall, thousands of warriors grunted “Ooooo!” as the chunk of pavement hit me in the gut. Surt charged, and we both went over the side, grappling as we fell.

Just before we hit the water, the video froze and zoomed in. The sword was now sticking out of Surt’s gut, but my hands weren’t on the grip. They were wrapped around Surt’s big neck.

An uncomfortable murmur spread through the room.

“No,” I said. “No, that’s not how—Someone edited that. It’s like a blooper reel.”

Sam’s face had turned to stone. At the thanes’ table, Captain Gunilla smirked. Her cameras, I realized, her editing.

For some reason, Gunilla wanted to disgrace Sam by making me look like an idiot…which, granted, wasn’t a difficult task.

Helgi set down his goblet. “Samirah al-Abbas…explain.”

Sam touched the edge of her scarf. I had a feeling she wanted to pull it over her head and hope the room disappeared. I couldn’t blame her.

“Magnus Chase died bravely,” she said. “He stood alone against Surt.”

More uneasy murmuring.

One of the thanes stood. “You say that was Surt. A fire jotun, certainly, but if you are suggesting it was the Lord of Muspellheim himself—”

“I know what I saw, Erik Bloodax. This one”—Sam gestured at me like I was a prize specimen—“saved many lives on that bridge. The video does not show the whole story. Magnus Chase acted like a hero. He deserves to be among the fallen.”

Another thane rose. “He didn’t actually die with the sword in his hand.”

“Lord Ottar”—Sam’s voice sounded strained—“the thanes have looked past such a technicality before. Whether or not Magnus gripped the sword at the moment of death, he died bravely in combat. That is the spirit of Odin’s law.”

Lord Ottar sniffed. “Thank you, Samirah al-Abbas, daughter of Loki, for teaching us the spirit of Odin’s law.”

The tension level in the hall went up about thirty notches. Sam’s hand drifted toward her ax. I doubted anyone but me could see how her fingers twitched.

Loki…I knew that name—Norse mythology’s big villain, born of giants. He was the archenemy of the gods. If Sam was his daughter, why was she here? How had she become a Valkyrie?

I happened to meet Gunilla’s eyes. The captain was obviously loving this drama. She could barely suppress a smile. If she was Thor’s kid, that explained why she hated Sam. In the old stories, Thor and Loki were always trying to melt each other’s faces.

The thanes debated among themselves.

Finally, Helgi the manager spoke. “Samirah, we’re not seeing any heroism in this boy’s death. We see a dwarf and an elf with toy weapons—”

“A dwarf and an elf?” I asked, but Helgi ignored me.

“—we see a fire jotun who fell off a bridge and took the boy with him. That’s an unusual situation, a son of Muspell crossing into Midgard, but it has happened before.”

“Shoot,” muttered a thane with bushy sideburns. “Y’all should’ve seen the big ol’ fire jotun Santa Anna had with him at the Alamo. I tell you—”

“Yes, thank you, Lord Crockett.” Helgi cleared his throat. “As I was saying, we see very little evidence that Magnus Chase was a worthy choice for Valhalla.”

“My lords”—Sam spoke slowly and carefully, like she was addressing children—“the video is not accurate.”

Helgi laughed. “Are you suggesting we shouldn’t trust our own eyes?”

“I’m suggesting that you hear the story from my point of view. It has always been our tradition to tell of the hero’s deeds.”

Gunilla stood. “Pardon me, my lords, but Samirah is correct. Perhaps we should let the daughter of Loki speak.”

The crowd booed and hissed. Some called, “No! No!”

Helgi gestured for silence. “Gunilla, you do your sisterhood credit by defending a fellow Valkyrie, but Loki has always been a master of smooth, honeyed words. Personally, I would rather trust what I see than have it spun for me in some clever explanation.”

Warriors applauded.

Gunilla shrugged like, Oh, well, I tried! and sank back into her chair.

“Magnus Chase!” Helgi called. “Do you know your parentage?”

I counted to five. My first inclination was to yell, No, but your dad was apparently a jackass!

“I don’t know my father,” I admitted. “But, look, about that video—”

“Perhaps you have potential we do not recognize,” Helgi said. “Perhaps you are a son of Odin or Thor or some other noble war god, and your presence brings us honor. We will seek wisdom from the runes, unless the All-Father would intercede?”

He glanced at the throne, which remained empty. The ravens studied me with dark hungry eyes.

“Very well,” Helgi said. “Bring forth the vala and—”

Between the roots of the tree, where the waterfall hit the dark lake, a massive bubble erupted. BLOOP! On the surface of the water stood three women shrouded in white.

Except for the crackle of cooking fire and the sound of the waterfall, the hall was silent. Thousands of warriors watched, frozen in amazement, as the three white women glided across the floor, heading toward me.

“Sam?” I whispered. “Sam, what’s going on?”

Her hand fell from her ax.

“The Norns,” she said. “The Norns themselves have come to read your fate.”