فصل سی و هفتم

chapter-37

The plane lifted off from Kansas City, headed for Ohio.

“ ’Heavens to Murgatroyd, that’s mapley!’ is what the Mrs. Maplebutter bottle says at the end of all the commercials,” Kyle explained to Akimi and Abia.

“You mean what she used to say,” added Angus. “I don’t think there’s been a Mrs. Maplebutter commercial on TV for maybe two years.” “You are correct,” said Abia, who was already tapping keys on her banana jet computer. “Mrs. Maplebutter stopped making television commercials after the FDA informed Consolidated Corn Syrup Incorporated that it could no longer use the words ‘mapley’ or ‘maplebutter,’ since the only maple to be found in the product was trace elements of sawdust.” “So maybe the Krinkle brothers hired the same actress,” suggested Angus. “She’s been out of work for a couple years. Probably needed the money.” “The Mrs. Maplebutter actress’s real name is Beth Bennett,” said Akimi, who was also clacking keys on her armrest computer. “She did the voice and posed for the bottle, which was animated with computer graphics.” She played a short video on the actress’s website.

“Heavens to Murgatroyd,” said the animated Mrs. Maplebutter bottle, “that’s mapley.” “She sounds just like Irma Hirschman!” exclaimed Abia.

“Are there any pictures of this actress?” asked Kyle.

“Yep,” said Akimi, pivoting her screen so everybody could see the images she had uncovered. “Her most recent promo shot is in full Mrs. Maplebutter costume. I guess she did personal appearances at conventions and junk. Meet Beth Bennett, a.k.a. Irma Hirschman!” “Those Krinkle brothers are so cheap,” said Kyle. “They saved money by having her use her Mrs. Maplebutter costume to play Irma Hirschman.” “No wonder she was so good at crying on cue,” said Angus. “She’s an actress!” Kyle plopped down in his swivel chair and fired up his computer.

“If she’s an actress,” he said, “I wonder what role she was playing in 1969.” As he tapped keys and entered search parameters, Kyle suddenly had a new thought: Doing research was actually fun; sort of like being a super sleuth or master detective.

“Booyah!” he shouted when he found a particularly fascinating fact about Beth Bennett. “In 1969, Beth Bennett was in a show called Put On Your Shoes at the Melody Makers summer stock theater in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Check out her head shot from the Playbill.” Kyle clicked on a thumbnail of a picture to make it fill his screen.

In her 1969 publicity shot, Beth Bennett had a bright smile, heavy black eye makeup, and blond hair that curled in to brush her apple cheeks.

“That’s the exact same picture from the Family Frolic box top!” said Akimi excitedly. “We don’t need her confession anymore. That’s total proof that this whole thing is a hoax.”