فصل پنجاه و چهارم

chapter-54

Of course the library was packed the next night for the Krinkle brothers’ big gala.

Kyle’s whole family was there. So were all the families of the other local board members. In fact, it felt as if all of Alexandriaville was crowded together under the rotunda—plus TV news crews from the larger Ohio cities. The Chiltingtons and the mayor stood on an elevated platform with Frederick and David Krinkle, all of them smiling for the flashing cameras.

Mr. Raymo wasn’t with them.

The chief imagineer was locked behind the red door inside the library’s master control room.

So was all the evidence to clear Mr. Lemoncello.

Earlier, Kyle had sent Mr. Raymo the final audio and video files he needed for the real show—the stuff Katherine and Elliott scored in Kansas City.

“The food stinks,” whined Andrew, nibbling around the edges of a vanilla wafer, the only food the Krinkle brothers served at their party. “The beverages stink, too. The only drink is generic ginger ale.” The Krinkles’ new exhibits were the same ones Mr. Lemoncello had planned: Thomas Edison, Michael Jordan, the Wright brothers, Emily Dickinson, and Abraham Lincoln. According to the gala’s program, “The Trial of Luigi Lemoncello” would take place later.

David Krinkle presented the new exhibits as if he and his brother had come up with the ideas and created everything themselves.

“As fellow inventors,” David announced, “we’d love to hear what Thomas Edison has to say on this grand and auspicious occasion.” The Edison hologram marched across the floor and climbed up the steps to the stage.

“When I single-handedly invented the lightbulb,” said the dumbed-down Edison, “I remember thinking, who will pick up my creative spark and carry it forward for the next generation? Thank goodness we have the Krinkle brothers.” The crowd cheered and applauded.

“You guys ready?” Kyle whispered to his friends.

“Go for it, Kyle Keeley,” said Abia. “It is definitely time for a shortcut.” Kyle took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“Thomas Edison is right!” he shouted. “The Krinkle brothers are geniuses. In fact, they deserve to be statues, right here in the library.” On cue, Mr. Raymo, secure in the control room, popped five pairs of Krinkle brother holograms into the ten statue nooks underneath the Wonder Dome.

The audience cheered again.

The Krinkle brothers, onstage, beamed even brighter smiles.

Until their statues started talking.

“We didn’t ‘steal’ Whoop Dee Doodle,” said the five Frederick holograms in perfect sync. “Benjamin Bean liberated Mr. Lemoncello’s half-baked, harebrained scheme for us. He brought a poor infant of an idea to a more loving and supportive home.” “For a hefty fee, of course,” grumbled the five statues of David. “We paid him fifty thousand dollars for Mr. Lemoncello’s idea.” The audience wasn’t cheering so much anymore. In fact, some of them had horrified looks on their faces.

“What goes on here?” said the real David.

“You’re that boy from last night!” snarled Frederick. “The grandson!”

Kyle grinned. “Told you I wouldn’t miss this gala for anything in the world.” Overhead, the David statues flickered and changed topics.

“Now why would Beth Bennett worry about the one hundred thousand dollars we promised to pay her? She did her job. Everyone believes she is Irma Hirschman. She’ll get her money.” “Typical actress,” muttered the five Fredericks. “Tell her to go back to playing Mrs. Maplebutter! Tell Miss Jessica Bennett not to worry about her money, either. She’ll be paid as soon as our version of Mr. Lemoncello’s floating emoji game rolls off the assembly line. We want to make sure it works before we pay her for liberating those blueprints out of the old coot’s floor safe.” “Enough!” cried the real Frederick. “Mr. Raymo? Turn those fool statues off or you’re fired!” “No can do,” replied Mr. Raymo through the sound system. “According to my master schedule, it is now time to play Mr. Lemoncello’s Rickety-Trickety Fact or Fictiony game.” “Which,” added Kyle, flipping on the wireless microphone Mr. Raymo had rigged him up with, “will show us what happens when you play loosey-goosey with the truthy.” When Kyle said that, a giant lion cage hologram (with an animated lion prowling around inside it) materialized directly above the stage to hover over the Krinkle brothers.

“Okay,” said Kyle, doing his best to imitate Mr. Lemoncello’s game-show-host voice. “My friends and I have done extensive research and are here today to tell the whole world the truth. Mr. Lemoncello does have a patent and a shoebox filled with the stuff that inspired Family Frenzy, including a vintage Barbie doll boot from 1973!” A hologram of the shoebox, a patent with an embossed seal, and a knee-high go-go boot appeared under the Wonder Dome, which had faded to black to help make the holograms pop.

“Irma Hirschman, on the other hand, never filed for a Family Frolic patent because, well, she never invented a game in her life.” Another hologram appeared: a granny knitting in a rocking chair. It was followed by a Mrs. Maplebutter bottle.

“Because Irma Hirschman, her claims, her website, and everything else about her are fake. She’s a character, stolen by the Krinkle brothers, portrayed by an amazing actress, Beth Bennett, who used to be Mrs. Maplebutter and, as you just heard, was paid one hundred thousand dollars to play this new role.” The Wonder Dome became a video screen, filled with a clip of Beth Bennett talking directly into Elliott Schilpp’s smartphone lens.

“I’m Beth Bennett. Yes, I am a classically trained actress,” she said melodramatically. “But they said I was too old to play Mrs. Maplebutter anymore. Too old? Ha! I am an actress. I defy age! I could play an infant! So when the Krinkle brothers called, I jumped at the chance to play my juiciest role yet! Irma Hirschman—the wronged and weepy game inventor. I already had the costume. I am also available for commercials and corporate appearances.” She wiggled her thumb and pinky next to her ear like her hand was a phone. “Call me,” she mouthed.

More murmurs of disgust rippled through the audience.

“But wait,” said Kyle, “that’s not all. Mr. Lemoncello never stole an idea, but the Krinkle brothers sure did. As you’ve heard the Krinkles confess, Whoop Dee Doodle was Mr. Lemoncello’s idea until they paid Benjamin Bean to steal it.” A whoopee cushion appeared overhead.

“And as you’ve also heard, the Krinkle brothers just stole the blueprints for Mr. Lemoncello’s newest creation, the Fantabulous Floating Emoji game.” Akimi leaned in so she could speak into Kyle’s lapel mic: “Coming soon to toy stores everywhere.” A hologram of a smiley-face emoji floated between the granny in the rocking chair and the bottle of syrup.

“Put it all together and it’s pure Krinkle because it definitely stinkles!” That was the cue for the Michael Jordan hologram to leap up and slam-dunk a basketball into the whoopee cushion, which set off the teetering Rube Goldberg contraption’s chain reaction: The whoopee cushion made a fart sound, expelling a gust of air, which ruffled the patent document. It rolled up like a window shade with a sharp snap that knocked over the shoebox, which made the Barbie boot kick the rail of the rocking chair, which surprised the sweet little old lady so much she flung up her knitting needles, which poked the side of the smiley face’s head, which deflated like a balloon and whizzed sideways like a bottle rocket, crashing into the Mrs. Maplebutter bottle, which toppled over and poured a stream of corn syrup goop directly on top of the lion cage, coating the bars with globs of sludge, which made the cage so heavy it slowly drifted down until it trapped both Krinkle brothers underneath it—with the roaring lion.

“Yep,” said Kyle, “that’s what happens when you keep on lyin’! You end up in the lion cage!” The crowd laughed and cheered. The TV crews (and every smartphone under the dome) had captured the whole chain reaction. The two police detectives who’d questioned Mr. Lemoncello ambled up onto the stage, probably to ask the Krinkle brothers a few questions, too. The Chiltington family was trying its best to disappear into the walls.

The whole thing was absolutely, incredibly spectacular!