مقدمه

Overture—C’mon In

I love questions. There was a time in my younger days when I didn’t appreciate how powerful questions really were, especially when asked of the right people at the right time. But over the years, the more I got past my own ego, the more willing I was to flex my question-asking muscles, and the more daring I became in putting the answers to use.

For anyone who knows a part of my story—even what you may have read on this book’s flap cover—two questions that have been indispensable to me over the years should definitely ring a bell: “What do you do?” and “How do you do that?” At age twenty-eight, as a first-time (soon to be single) parent, I had the good sense to ask those two questions of a San Francisco stockbroker named Bob Bridges. This guy didn’t know me from Adam but was willing to let me buy him a cup of coffee and answer my questions. And he went a step further by steering me toward a couple of people he knew, who in turn opened doors that led to my pursuit of an ultimately thriving career on Wall Street. Through all the ups and downs that happened after meeting Bob Bridges, I never forgot my debt of gratitude to him—even during the toughest pass early on when my toddler son, Christopher Jr., and I became homeless, at the same time that I was working full-time getting my start. There was never any way that I could return a commensurate favor to Bob, but I did make a pledge to myself to pay it forward in the future—by offering meaningful direction that comes from my life lessons to anyone willing to ask for it.

This is to say that as I invite you to c’mon in and browse what’s offered on these pages, please know that you and your questions are welcome here. My hunch is you’ve got some already; you’re probably asking, How do I know if this book is something I need? What can I expect to take away from it? And you may also be wondering—why can’t Chris Gardner spell “happyness” correctly?

Let me begin with the first question. Start Where You Are is a book that has been gathering steam in the back of my mind for many years. Those were the words—“Start Where You Are”—that I wrote down on the top page of a yellow legal pad one day after months of knocking on doors when I was first trying to get just a foothold in the brokerage business. I couldn’t seem to catch a break. Maybe you have been in those shoes, too. Well, that basic mantra—to start by using the resources I already had while building toward those I desired—allowed me to hang in there. Since then, whenever difficult circumstances have seemed overwhelming and I didn’t know where to begin to take action or how to shift gears, the message in that simple statement has revved me up—just as it has whenever I’ve been stalled or stuck or a dream has loomed so far in the distance that I began to doubt if it could ever be reached.

When I was fortunate to have the opportunity to publish what became my first book, The Pursuit of Happyness, the original idea was to focus on the life lessons I’d pledged to pass on one day. In the beginning, I had inklings that I might not be ready to do that, not without first doing the groundwork of laying out what had happened in my life to inspire those lessons. But whenever anyone suggested that I consider writing a full-length autobiography, I shut down. What, relive the darkness and bare my soul—for everyone and anyone to see, no less? No thanks!

The more I thought about it, however, the more apparent it was that unless I did the hard work of looking back at the grittier chapters of my life, it could easily be turned into the superficial version of the “rags-to-riches” road from homelessness to success, from being literally penniless to having actual wealth. As the CEO of a multimillion-dollar institutional investment firm with millions of stakeholders around the globe, run through three offices staffed by a diverse, amazing team, along with activities I’m passionate about in the areas of public speaking, philanthropy, and personal empowerment, I didn’t want my story to be made into a fairy tale. Therefore, in order to tell the real rags-to-riches part—the ability to break the generational cycle of men who abandon the children they father—I had to confront the painful memories of growing up fatherless and the most empowering decision of my life, which I made at age six. That was the promise I made to myself that when I grew up and had children of my own, they would know who I was and that I would be present in their lives.

The result was The Pursuit of Happyness—not only the book but also the film version of the same name, which encapsulates one dramatic year amid almost fifty years covered in the memoir. Out of the many incredible gifts that the experience of sharing my story has brought, and continues to bring, is that I now count millions of readers and moviegoers from around the world as part of my new extended family.

No one could have been more amazed than me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that the story I’d resisted telling would strike the universal chord that it has. The only explanation that has made sense came from Dr. Maya Angelou, one of the most inspiring human beings and beautiful women I’ve ever met. Long before I had the honor of meeting her in person and was able to ask questions of her, I could remember how as a teenager after reading her memoir, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, it seemed that I’d known her all my life and also that she knew me. When Dr. Angelou speaks, everything that rolls off her tongue is connected to ancient wisdom—pure poetry. So, of course, I took note when she observed that the reason people from different walks of life could relate to my experience is that it isn’t so much “The Story of Me” but, rather, it’s “The Story of Us.” Or as she put it—it’s the story of “every father who ever had to be a mother, every mother who ever had to be a father, and everybody who ever had a dream and wouldn’t quit.” And that same group of people multiplied countless times over—all of us—is who Start Where You Are has been written for. I’ve written it to demonstrate that my journey to overcome the odds wasn’t mythic but in fact is achievable for each and every one of us. Moreover, I’m writing it in response to all of the questions, concerns, challenges, hopes, fears, and dreams that I’ve read in the storm of e-mails and letters that have moved and inspired me. And I’m also responding to what I’ve heard from the thousands upon thousands of people I meet out on the road in my role as “aspirational” speaker—as I prefer to call my second career in public speaking and listening.

In these times of great global change and acute economic challenges, anxiety provoking yet also chock-full of promise and opportunity, there seems to be a growing hunger for answers—for reliable guidance that’s being sought with a greater sense of urgency than I’ve witnessed in a long time. Those four words that I wrote down on my legal pad are meant for each of us who, instead of feeling overwhelmed or discouraged by the volatility, can see our way through. And that includes you.

How do you know if that’s so? Well, let’s see. If you have a dream and a desire to pursue it with every fiber of your being, but can’t move past excuses or circumstances that seem to be standing in your way, there is a life lesson ahead with your name on it. If you are tired of the status quo and are dying to shake up your life, reinvent yourself, and find a pursuit you love doing so much that you can’t wait for the sun to come up in the morning, you’ve come to the right place. If you can’t seem to figure out your niche in the crowded marketplace, you need this book. If you are like some of my workaholic, type A peers who have the material trappings of success but long for a sense of true fulfillment, you might be ready for a story or two that I’ve got to remind you how to dream again. If you’ve just had the rug pulled out from under you and your loved ones, whether you’re facing the loss of a home, a job, or dealing with a health or financial crisis, hope and help from those who’ve survived the worst and gone on to thrive are here to encourage you.

I often think of the e-mail that came from a man who wrote to tell me of his challenges, how he had given up school and his dream career to care for his father when he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. After his father passed away, this young man wasn’t sure where to start. As the years went by, he found employment to make ends meet but had a hard time feeling hopeful about the future. He continued: Lately I’ve been tempted to think that I wasn’t given a fair shot at life, but then I give myself credit for doing what I can to get by and remember to appreciate the things I am given. I fight to make it, and feel as if I have knocked out some big troubles in my life. But there is still a lot more I need to do.

Then at the end of the letter he closed by saying, “Well, I don’t know if you’ll read this but, you know, I feel so much better now that I’ve written it that I think I might just make it.” Sometimes that’s all it takes to start life over again. He didn’t need a response or to hear anything wise. He just needed to write down for himself where he was and that led to the thought that it was possible to feel better.

So if you’re ready to part ways with feeling hopeless or fearful, there are possibilities to be pursued that you may not have considered. You can be empowered not just to feel better but, more important, to pursue your own path to being who you were always meant to be in this world. If you’re grappling with changes in your industry, or have concerns about corporate downsizing and job outsourcing, join the discussion about ways to meet the challenges head-on. Like so many folks I’ve heard from, you might be fired up and raring to go, but need brushing up on fundamentals—perhaps you’re returning to the workforce after serving in the military, raising your kids, or overcoming a health crisis. You might also feel that you’re not sure what’s next for you and hope to find ideas worth pursuing. In all those cases, you’re in good company.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for that secret, silver bullet that’s going to make you millions of dollars overnight or show you how to accomplish effortless weight loss, you can put this book back on the shelf. You won’t find magic potions here. No matter how enticing they may seem, promises of quick fixes mostly set us up for failure and do more to deter us than empower us.

What I can promise is that I will share the tools of empowerment with you that have been instrumental to my success—emotional, financial, and spiritual—at every step of my journey. I can promise that your questions will be met with answers that are intended not to coddle but to challenge you. To that end, you’ll be meeting some of my mentors, role models, heroes, and antiheroes, an unusual group of teachers who helped me appreciate the lessons that are the heart of this book. I’m talking about the lessons that help shape who we are and who we dare to be—that allow us to see even the darkest days as only temporary, as well as those that shake us out of our comfort zones and inspire us to move onto bolder paths of pursuit.

Some of us tend to think of life lessons as those that can’t be learned in books or taught in schools. But I believe in the value of all education—whether it’s taught in formal, structured environments or not; via on-the-job training, a Harvard MBA, or street smarts; from ancient history or pop culture; or around the dining room table, in the pews, through direct instruction, or by example. My feeling is—why not let the world be our true classroom? It offers everything we need for attaining our greatest good and highest aspirations, as we’ll cover in the six chapters ahead: (1) we’ll begin in the present, starting where we are, with universal lessons that can be put to use at once; (2) next we’ll go digging in the past and get personal with lessons about ourselves that can transform how we deal with the present and the future; (3) from there, we’ll explore classic and evergreen marketplace lessons for success—and for hitting the anvil of hard work your way; (4) building on the basics, we’ll focus on peak-moment discoveries for becoming world class at whatever it is at which we aspire to have mastery; (5) we’ll then embark on a different kind of soul-searching within ourselves—with lessons that can help us tap what I call our “spiritual genetics”; and (6) we’ll wrap up with lessons for happyness available in the good old everyday, starting right where we are, now and forever.

With all of the lessons to be covered, my concern isn’t so much where they’re found or which ones are more important than others. What matters to me is that lessons learned aren’t left on the shelves to gather dust but are taken down, examined, and put to use, whenever they’re needed—with takeaways that are applicable immediately and in the future; that is, get ‘em and go!

How can you best make use of the lessons in this book? By checking them out, taking what’s relevant to you, applying them to your life, and leaving the rest. Better yet, my ultimate goal is that they inspire you to discover, claim, and apply the guidance that comes from your life and experience—your own life lessons.

And about that misspelling. It is intentional. The “y” in happyness was something that I once saw written at my son’s day-care center that way—at a time of struggle in my life when I needed to smile. It lightened the load and has ever since. The “y” is also there to represent you and yours when it comes to defining and pursuing what it is in your terms, and what success, growth, fulfillment, and enlightenment mean to you for this life—the only life you’ve got.

Whenever I’m asked what happyness is to me, my first answer is that it’s the ability to look at where I am in the moment, wherever I am, to remember where I came from and how far I’ve traveled, as a father, a friend, a contributing citizen of the world, and to be able to say—what a beautiful life this is, I’m so grateful to be here. More than anything, happyness is being able to appreciate everything and know—wow, I created this! And that’s the experience I most wish for you.

So, if you’re in, let’s get started. You know where.