بخش 4

Your Empowerment Zone

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.

—LEONARDO DA VINCI

AN INTRODUCTION TO LESSONS 30 TO 37—LIFE-CHANGING LESSONS FOR MASTERY

We all have our moments. Some have called them “aha” moments or peak experiences. Others describe their moments as major epiphanies that change their thinking and their lives. They recount almost an out-of-body moment that takes them from a place of “seeing through a glass darkly” to a new clarity and vision. What seems impossible in one moment suddenly becomes possible in the next.

My understanding is that these moments occur for all of us at significant stages of our growth when we are ready to change. So many of us find ourselves at the wall, when we’ve been hitting the anvil with all our might, wondering when we’re finally going to break through to the other side. These moments open the gate and often seem to occur in a heightened state of awareness—as though in a quick visit to what I call an empowerment zone. They may also be sparked by teachers who are empowering or by the right lessons at the right time.

When I recall those kinds of turnkey experiences from earlier in my life, they stand out in my memory as learning breakthroughs—brought about by life-changing lessons that enabled me to go further, faster, and higher. I remember them vividly as attention-getting moments, almost as if the universe was tapping me on the shoulder in a big way, presenting opportunities that required a new perspective.

Well, that’s what’s on the menu right now for this fourth type of lesson that we’re about to unveil as we examine the life-changing moments that may have happened to us previously, or to others, or may have yet to happen in our lives. These are the lessons that take us to our next levels, after we’ve hit the anvil in our pursuits and are ready to learn the ropes of mastery—in whatever venue we dare to seek it.

LESSON 30

Seek the Farthest Star

KEYWORD: Risk

“Why Wall Street?”

Not only is that a question that I hear all the time, but it was exactly what everyone around me demanded to know way back when I first set my sights on pursuing mastery in that arena. From wanting to be Miles Davis, to a passing fancy about becoming an actor, to setting forth for several years on a path toward a possible career as a heart surgeon—why the quantum leap to making a place for myself at the upper echelon of business and the stock market? Actually, what inquiring minds wanted to know was, “Gardner, what the hell are you thinking?” Was it simply because of the feelings experienced that day when I stepped into a trading room and knew that I’d found my button and could feel the passion with all the bells ringing, whistles blowing, and fireworks telling me that this was where I belonged? Not completely. That was one of those attention-getting moments for sure. But the actual life-changing choice that came from out of that moment was the decision to go for it—which required me to immediately veer off into unknown territory for this improbable pursuit. In one second I was a guy standing in the middle of all that excitement thinking—Gee, I’d love to do what they’re doing here, I get this, I feel this, but, man, there ain’t no way—and in the next second, I was a different person standing there thinking, well, why not?

Though I didn’t know it at the time, I had made up my mind to seek the farthest star. Indeed it was the least likely pursuit that I could have undertaken at the time, given that there was absolutely no evidence I could be successful at it. After all, I had no previous experience. I hadn’t even worked in a stock brokerage mailroom, I had no college degree, to say nothing of an MBA, and no Rolodex of high-rollin’ contacts. But I had the ability to see the possibilities—that is, the “why not?” of it all—which has turned out to be what I consider to be the first requirement for mastery. It’s about seeing upsides and downsides yet taking the risk anyway to go for the gold.

Think for a moment, if you will, about how you deal with risk in your current pursuit, as well as how you have dealt with different forms of risk in the past. If you have never been afraid to put everything on the line for your dreams, more power to you. Except, that is, if you keep ending up in the same place as where you started. There is such a thing as being addicted to risk and risky behavior, which is not masterful in the least—and can be highly destructive. But if you tend to be more risk averse than not, you would be in the vast majority of folks today who are better at seeking their farthest stars in theory rather than in reality.

In many adults, fear of failure prevents us from taking risks—necessary in all meaningful pursuits. What we need to be learning is that it’s okay to fail but it’s not okay to quit. Overcoming fear of failure isn’t our only stumbling block. Alternately, fear of not winning or fear of losing out to someone else may force us to take a risk that doesn’t turn out well. It could be argued that the rampant greed and excess in the Wall Street meltdown came from such bad risk thinking.

Needless to say, not all risks are created equal. Experience can help us to learn which ones are which. What about those folks who have no problem taking risks or incurring failure but are concerned about going overboard and not achieving actual goals? If you see yourself in that bracket, there’s an interesting theory that may apply to you. I’ve heard it said that some of the risky behavior, inability to stay on task, and lack of impulse control, or traits that are observed in individuals considered to have ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder), were once the most valued attributes in our ancestors’ days of living in hunter-gatherer societies. If you were the hunter, you had to have a certain quest for danger or risk when you were going out to get dinner for your family. You had to be a little dreamy to imagine how you were going to be the big hero and conquer the prey, but you also had to be alert to distractions in case a predator in the vicinity decided you looked good to eat. And when it came to conquering, if you controlled your impulse to defend yourself—you’d be dead.

This is all to encourage you to see the different facets of risk and to see the role it has played in your life. Then you can ask yourself what you’d be willing to lay on the line for whatever it is that represents your farthest star. When you’re traveling from familiar ground toward your empowerment zone, what are you risking—the regular paycheck, the creature comforts, the applause that may not continue anymore? Ain’t no shame in identifying what the risk is—and giving yourself credit for the choice you’re making. Once you’ve accepted the risk, you are ready to have your moment and embrace the steps that will be required for you to go to the next level. Risk is the essence of seeking your farthest star. And if you’re not sure you’ve really got the right stuff to make it all happen or that maybe you’re just deluding yourself, you can count yourself human.

What’s the difference, then, between those who are crazy enough to dream of blasting off to outer space and those who actually land on the moon? Again, there are no single silver bullet answers for achieving mastery, but a critical piece will always be taking that big risk—as I learned from a conversation with Quincy Jones about how he felt when his arrangement of “Fly Me to Moon” for Frank Sinatra became the first song ever played in outer space. It’s common knowledge that pursuing a career in music doesn’t come with any guarantees. Yet look at the rewards.

Another critical piece for achieving mastery is training in the fundamentals to be able to handle the risk at the highest levels. I remember watching a 60 Minutes segment in 2006 that featured Neil Armstrong, who made the point that preparation and the rest of NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) were most responsible for the success of the mission. He also spoke about John F. Kennedy’s declaration in 1961 that within a decade the United States would win the space race against the Soviets by flying an astronaut to the moon, touching feet down on its surface, and then returning that person back home to Planet Earth safely.

The risk to even declare the mission at that time in our history was astronomical. Tragically, as we know, President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963 and couldn’t live to witness the triumph that he’d inspired a nation to make our journey toward. But even without his leadership, there was no turning back. After an investment of twenty-four billion dollars along with the passion, focus, drive, determination, and mastery of four hundred thousand members of the team, NASA was ready in only eight years—two years early. Every step of the way, especially the failed ones, was necessary for the moon landing to even stand a chance. In the process, Armstrong barely survived test runs that were near fatal. His skills and nerves of steel in making correct decisions each time were the saving grace.

In the 60 Minutes piece, Ed Bradley recalled the famous shot of Neil Armstrong giving the thumbs-up to the crowd when he, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to board the rocket ship on that memorable July morning in 1969. Bradley noted that he had never seen anyone so confident. The response was not what I expected. “Yeah,” Armstrong said, “but a little bit of a sham, I admit. You know, the reality is, a lot of times you get up and get in the cockpit, and something goes wrong somewhere and you go back down. So, actually, when you actually lift off, it’s really a big surprise.” This was a small aha moment for me that confirmed what I’ve always felt about seeking the farthest star. Like Armstrong said, the reality is that whenever you take a risk of any size and climb up into the cockpit of your rocket ship, it may fail. You may never even achieve liftoff.

Of course, we’ve all heard Armstrong’s words spoken as he first touched his foot onto the moon—“That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.” For anyone old enough to remember the feeling of watching on television as he spoke those words and then looking out at the night sky in our own backyards, I can report that it was mind blowing and life changing. But it was something that Armstrong said in the interview with Ed Bradley that told me more about what he saw when he walked where no one ever had been before. Thirty-seven years later, in describing the lunar surface, he recalled, “It’s a brilliant surface in that sunlight. The horizon seems quite close to you because curvature is so much more pronounced than here on Earth. It’s an interesting place to be. I recommend it.” Remember those words as you take your possibilities out of the same old state of wishing and hoping for one day. Ask “why not?” With that to urge you on, go seek your farthest star. Go find it, step foot on its brilliant surface. And come back to tell us what you found.

LESSON 31

Seeing Ghosts, Reading Signs

KEYWORD: Reinvention

Everywhere I go these days, I meet individuals who have risen to the top of their game, yet who are coming to terms with the reality that either the rules have changed or the game itself no longer serves them. These are individuals who by choice or necessity have decided to reinvent themselves and their lives. Some describe it as thrilling and others as terrifying—like walking a tightrope without a net. And, indeed, the lesson for mastery that I’ve had to learn is that reinvention can be a high-flying, daredevil act that requires a keen awareness of both opportunities and the hazards of going after them. The honing of that awareness is what I mean by the name of this lesson—Seeing ghosts, reading signs.

My first inklings of this dual awareness began with my mother, who would notice me daydreaming and ask me if I was “seeing ghosts.” In fact, she encouraged me to push my imagination beyond the everyday. She would say that it didn’t matter if nobody else saw my dreams, as long as I was seeing them with the eyes of my soul. At the same time, Momma wanted me to pay attention to the practical pitfalls that might accompany the pursuit of those possibilities—to read the signs.

If you can recall those moments when you chose to reinvent yourself, you’ll remember the feelings of excitement mixed with uncertainty that the process stirs. You might be at that place even now. If you’re not in the reinvention mode, you may still be interested in options for reinvention that may be just what you need for where you are—that is, if you dare.

The scary aspect of reinvention can best be explained by an old Gypsy curse that I never understood until I became a parent. The worst thing you can say to someone who has done you wrong, as a Gypsy, is to wish for that person, “May your child go to the circus!” The point is, of course, that we as parents want to protect our children as best we can from the dangerous forces out there, of which there are plenty. It’s not just the unsavory characters who are associated with circus operations. The fate you most fear is the peril of your kid having to be up on a tightrope; swinging on a flying trapeze; performing dare-devilish feats of strength, magic, and lion taming; or being part of a freak show, all in front of roaring crowds who may turn on your child at any time.

But, of course, this story of the Gypsy curse focuses only on the pitfalls of running off to join the circus, so to speak, or what is required to follow a dream that is beyond the realm of imagination for anyone but the dreamer. The gift of such a pronouncement can also empower someone to reinvent an ordinary, predictable life and make it into an extraordinary one.

To offer the most obvious and spectacular example that comes to mind, I must take off my hat to Will Smith, who sees ghosts and minds his signs, continually upping his pursuit at every level. He has reinvented his game at every turn, from recording artist and triple-threat singer/dancer/actor, to comedian and television series star, to becoming the number one box office feature film superstar in the world. It happens that he also works at being the world-class father, husband, and person that he is. And he’s continually looking for ways to reinvent his imagination and passion to reach further still—as a producer, storyteller, and activist for causes that matter to him.

Will credits his ability to pursue opportunities and avoid the pitfalls of fame by staying grounded in his work ethic—which was inspired by his father. Will has shared several stories with me about lessons learned from his dad, a bricklayer. My favorite is the simple, powerful advice he gave Will and his brother about excellence and focus on the job, telling them, “Forget about the brick you laid before. Forget about the next brick. Focus on the brick in your hand that you’re laying right now.” That philosophy also explains how it’s possible to reinvent yourself and attain mastery at something new, as long as you focus on laying that brick in your hand to the absolute best of your ability.

Reinvention doesn’t necessarily require you to alter who you are or pursue a brand-new career path or title. It may be that you stay on your course but seek a new and improved method of pursuing your same dream. You might choose a new destination. Or perhaps you fall from your perch but then find a new reason to make the climb back up. Maybe what you are reinventing is your facility for problem solving—kick-starting your imagination to look at new possibilities while engaging your practical know-how in different ways.

Whenever I’m asked for counsel about the process of reinvention, especially by those who’ve weathered the shock of having recently been fired or downsized or who can’t see positive possibilities for themselves, I refer to an experience of mine that occurred back in the 1980s—it was in conjunction with being fired by Bear Stearns for not toeing the company line. In trying to decide whether or not to seek work at another major brokerage firm or to branch off on my own, as I eventually chose to do, I had to reinvent my definition of mastery. Was I really ready to cash in all the chips and go do something that was going to require me to go back to basics and, yes, start from near nothing?

Then again, as I thought about the signs of the free-for-all that was happening in that era—the megamergers and massive amounts of money changing hands along with the high-cost lifestyle that was all about bigger, better, and best—I suspected that it might be as good a time as any to reinvent myself, even without a net.

So there I was in the midst of uncertainty, sitting alone in my apartment in Harlem round midnight with thunder, lightning, gunshots, and gloom all booming in the background, and I had one of those moments of altered awareness. While wondering if I should go back to hitting the anvil as I had been or do something completely different, I suddenly heard a voice from out of nowhere speak directly to me. It said only one word: “Change.” I didn’t immediately assume that this was the voice of God, although I have no other explanation. My higher power clearly understood that I had stopped seeing ghosts with the eyes of my soul and that I needed to change, to reclaim that ability, and also to reinvent my pursuit. Fine, I thought. It was time to change. But to do so was going to require that I change my thinking.

The person who encouraged me to go for it, no matter what, was one of my most important mentors, Barbara Scott Preiskel. She dared me to see possibilities for changing not just me but my industry. That became my new definition for mastery—being a force, making a difference. Those were ghosts that I began to see, at the same time that I saw signs that said to go for it. Ms. Preiskel’s only words of caution were not to read too much into initial indications of success or failure, but rather to let the process unfold. No better reassurance could have been given to me.

Over the years, I learned and absorbed so much from Ms. Preiskel that I grew to be like her on many levels. Clear, subtly forceful, and unwavering, she taught me how, in all matters, to respect the process, play it all the way out, and then be prepared to write my own ending.

Even in her last days, which came much too early in 2002, when she was seventy-seven years old, as she lay in the hospital with leukemia, Barbara Scott Preiskel was fully present, passionate about asking me how I was and wondering what she could do for me, and where was I headed next. Her beautiful family and throngs of friends who adored her would come to the hospital to see her, and she would comfort each one of us, never complaining to my knowledge.

When Ms. Preiskel passed, I had been mourning the loss of my mother some years earlier, and even though I had been so blessed to have the two of them as mentors at different stages, the world didn’t seem as welcoming a place without both of them in it anymore. Then again, their wisdom and cherished counsel is never far from my memory.

The loss of loved ones, as we all will face at different times, regularly turns our thoughts to our own mortality. It can be an opportunity or a challenge to question whether we’re making the most of the precious time we’ve been given. Are we living up to our potential, seeing ghosts with the eyes of our soul, and paying attention to the signs that give us meaningful guidance? It’s true that our time will come and that others will miss us when we’re gone, but did we do everything possible to make sure that it mattered that we were here?

You can apply this lesson about reinvention by asking yourself the same questions. Is it time for you to go out and defy the Gypsy curse by getting up on your flying trapeze? Why not dare to be a force in your world, to make a difference? Raise your stakes and your definition for mastery. Now go for it. Take Ms. Preiskel’s advice and respect the process. Let it play out and be prepared to write your own ending.

LESSON 32

Opportunities, Like Pancakes, Are Best Served Hot, but Sometimes You Gotta Set the Table Before You Can Eat

KEYWORD: Timing

As you probably know about me by now, I’m not a person who waits for strangers bearing surprise gifts to come up and knock on my door. As is our theme, I believe pursuit is best fueled with action verbs that put us in charge and that allow us to do the knocking. But every now and then, unforeseen opportunity does arise, and it can be a life-changing lesson when you must decide how to respond. In those instances, timing is everything. Do you wait? Do you pounce? Do you use that opportunity to gather and build more of the same?

Well, to dramatize my answers, I have a story about timing that can be applied to many situations when something of interest and potential value is offered to you. Back in 2003, I was approached by Lynn Redmond, a producer, on behalf of Barbara Walters and 20/20, about doing a segment on my life. Though I never viewed my year of being homeless and a single parent as something that defined me, by that point I had made the choice to speak publicly about my journey from being among the working homeless to becoming a successful entrepreneur. The more forthcoming that I was, the greater awareness I was able to raise about the issue of homelessness and its causes. Still, I wasn’t eager to talk about that very difficult period on a prime-time newsmagazine show. Nonetheless, what Lynn described was a very respectful approach, and since my desire was to reach a wider audience in the right way, I had to remember the old adage—Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Or there’s my version—Opportunities, like pancakes, are best served hot. The timing was right. I said yes, and I was more than pleased with the outcome.

One of the first signs of confirmation that I was on the right track had come in a hand-delivered note to my office from a single mother of three, a victim of domestic violence, who had been living in her car with her children, in the dark of winter, and working full-time during the day while her kids attended school; at night they all slept in their blankets and clothes in the car. By some chance, she had seen the 20/20 story and it gave her the courage to seek out information about a shelter where she could stay until she got back on her feet. That was all I needed to hear to know that sharing my story could empower others.

But I was not prepared for the onslaught of interest and offers that arrived almost instantaneously after the segment aired.

“Good morning, is this Chris Gardner?” were the first words spoken to me by an unknown caller on my cell phone very early on the day following the airing of the piece.

The guy was smooth to the point of alarming, clearly a successful veteran of show business and a partner at one of the top Hollywood talent agencies. He knew his stuff, I could tell, and I was impressed that his agency represented some of the “biggest names” in the industry. “Nothing happens that we don’t touch” was how he described their access to the heavyweights among actors, directors, and writers, and their relationships with the studios in green-lighting movies. They would provide soup to nuts, he said, with all the potential he foresaw for my interests—publishing, film, television, speaking, merchandising. Unbelievable.

Was this an opportunity that should be seized at once? I couldn’t tell. So I made him an offer. I was on my way to Maui and if he could get through security and into the Red Carpet Room at LAX at the appointed hour when I was arriving to make my connecting flight, I would sign with him.

“Done,” he said. “I’ll see you there.”

In my head I was thinking—Hey, I’m not believing any of this stuff, why shouldn’t I sign, go to Hawaii for a well-earned time-off with my lady, and see what happens when I return?

When I caught my first glimpse of the agent, he looked like he was right out of central casting, everything he sounded like on the phone. Smooth, cool, dapper, and tight. We met, shook hands, and just as effortlessly as this whole process had begun, he produced the contract. In a very happy mood because I’m heading off on vacation and this seeming opportunity has landed in my lap, I asked for his pen. He patted his pocket and grinned sheepishly, not finding one, as if it was no big deal.

Whoa. No pen? No !@+% pen? Mr. Smooth Operator, “nothing happens in this town that we don’t touch,” Mr. “we represent the biggest names in show business”? All the red flags in the world were waving for me. The karma police had chimed in. How was he going to represent me when he didn’t even have the most basic, essential tool of the deal maker’s trade?

Needless to say, I did not sign. My lady, chief of the karma patrol, agreed that something as little as not having a pen was reason enough to pass. “He was the wrong guy” was her take.

I never regretted my decision, including the next time when I heard from him with a sour grapes call to me after it was announced that I’d signed with Escape Artists, the right production company to tell my story, and that Will Smith would play me. His unenthusiastic spin was, “Well, I hope you got a percentage of the budget.” I wasn’t fazed; I told him that I appreciated his concern and that I’d see him at the premiere soon—all of which happened, impossible and unlikely as those odds were.

Now this story has two morals. One of them I already knew—that if you catch me butt naked on a desert island alone, I’ve got a business card and an ink pen somewhere! In other words, if you are going to play at the top of your game, don’t be sloppy with your fundamentals, your tools of the trade. Otherwise, you won’t be eating your pancakes.

The other lesson was one of timing for me in this whole process. The truth is that I had a lot more R&D to do before I was ready to appreciate and put to use the opportunities of telling my story on a public scale. This was going to take me back to asking questions, reading whatever I could get my hands on, following my gut, and educating myself on the “who’s who?” of several new arenas that were totally foreign to me.

In almost every venue where I speak, I am asked how the story that I’d been hesitant to discuss for many years had wound up on the big screen. As I recount the details to others as I have here, my point isn’t that something along these lines can happen to anyone. In fact, most people in Hollywood have emphasized to me that it almost never happens as it did for me. Somehow, all the elements of timing clicked.

Yet I also believe no matter what your endeavor, when you’re open to possibilities that can and do show up on your doorstep, all the elements of timing can click for you, too. Think about how aspects of my unusual story may have played out in your life. Can you remember when you seized the day and grabbed onto an opportunity that was hot? Can you remember when you had to accept that sometimes you have to set the table before you could eat? If you can do both, you’re harnessing the art of timing even as I write these words.

Whenever I’m accused of being lucky, I dispute that notion. But what I have mastered is timing. And so can you.

LESSON 33

Stay Open, but Don’t Wing It

KEYWORDS: Adaptation, Survival of the Fittest

If you love to laugh at the movies, you may recall the outrageous characters that Mike Myers masterfully created in the three Austin Powers films. In that case, you may remember that in the second movie, The Spy Who Shagged Me, the archvillain Dr. Evil sends his lackeys back in time to steal Austin’s mojo. Hilarity ensues, Austin eventually gets his mojo back, and all’s well that ends well.

But in real life, I’m sorry to say, sometimes folks lose their mojo, or allow it to be stolen, and can never find it again. Some of my colleagues who’ve scaled the highest heights of success arrive at a point where they have nothing to energize them enough that they can’t wait for the sun to come up so that they can do their thing. No mojo, no nada, kaput.

The quest to reclaim lost mojo is not as funny as it sounds. It’s actually critical for survival of the fittest and is dependent on your power of adaptation. That may mean you’ll have to retool your best-laid plans or throw out some stale ideas. You don’t have to scale back your dreams, however. In fact, rather than downsize the scope of what you’re doing, I have learned, it’s your time to broaden your horizon and grow. The operative means of doing that is essentially this lesson—Stay open, but don’t wing it.

In the early 2000s, I came to a place where nearly all of my original goals for my company had been met. Many choices faced me. I could stay at the top of the game in the profitable niche that I’d found and continue exactly with what I was doing. I could reinvent my pursuit altogether. Or I could build on my foundation, staying with it, but at the same time adapt, evolve, and grow—personally and professionally.

When I made the choice that it was time to reach for another distant star and to raise the bar for myself, what revved up my passion was a concept that I would eventually identify as conscious capitalism—based on the principle that wealth is created individually and globally by investing in developing economies and new technologies, within ourselves, our communities, and our world. Not for philanthropy but for profit. Uplift people, uplift their economies—and everybody benefits. For some time, this idea was far too broad and general for it to be anything more than a big dream without a specific plan.

That started to change, however, through the course of conversations with very knowledgeable individuals who were involved in the movement to end apartheid in South Africa. Every time the subject came up, I felt a kind of rush and quickening of interest. A logical proposition popped into my head somewhere along the way. Since it was the pressure from labor unions and civil rights organizations in cities here in this country that started the ball rolling, through the power of their pension funds and the like, why couldn’t it work in reverse? All those corporate entities that had been putting capital into the system understood that pension funds would no longer invest with them as long as they were doing business in South Africa. They got the message and pulled out. That’s how the walls came crumbling down. But now that South Africans had political freedom, my question was what good was it without investors bringing outside capital to restart the engines of economic freedom and opportunity? It occurred to me then, from common sense, that those very same companies should be welcomed back to postapartheid South Africa, and that the same leadership who put pressure on businesses to leave should be involved in the reinvestment process. In my estimation, South Africa had the potential to be the Hong Kong of Africa, and if this kind of endeavor was done right, it would be.

The minute I mentally saw the possibility, I had one of those life-changing moments when I knew that this was something that I could do—and had to do. This was going to be my Sistine Chapel. The nay-saying began almost at once. Now everyone who’d ever suspected it was sure that I had to be crazy.

What became the Gardner Rich Pamodzi South Africa Fund I, a first-time private equity fund, faced enormous hurdles, not the least of which is that it’s in an emerging market. Since the terrain is far from a proven commodity to most investors, much of our time was initially spent educating our potential stakeholders as to why it would be profitable for them and positive for the world. Challenges notwithstanding, at this writing, after four years, we are on our way to raising a billion dollars of investment. We have built the scaffolding and are starting to paint.

One of my early forays on this pursuit came with my first trip to South Africa, a crash course in staying open without winging it. I had come with an agenda to assess the viability of a unique product in addressing the dire demand for decent housing. Gardner Rich had an opportunity to market low-cost prefab panels that, when assembled into a home, would maintain coolness in the summer and warmth in the winter. The real gold was that the prefab panels could be made in South Africa in factories that could be built in the nine provinces—thus creating jobs and helping to develop community wealth. The opportunity had fired up my mojo and I was sure the South Africans with whom I was working would be receptive.

Once in South Africa, as the meetings commenced and I presented the plan, I heard a resounding “No.” The reason behind that no was: “The white man had bricks. We want bricks.” The objection to the prefab panels, in spite of the potential for job creation, was a cultural thing, not to be discussed. End of story.

How could I successfully refute years of thinking a certain way? And, more to the point, why should I? So, staying open, but not winging it, I have continued to go back to the drawing board many times. What I’ve discovered in the process is that letting go of one detail in the big picture—like the prefab panels that didn’t work in the grand scheme, for whatever reasons—made way for better, bolder possibilities that were obscured until then. After four years, we’re close to unveiling the results.

As out there in the impossible stratosphere as this pursuit may seem, it wouldn’t have been possible if not for this lesson that I encourage you to test for yourself. Take a reading of your mojo. Are you satisfied? If so, fine. If not, raise your game, dare to pursue your life’s work—and do so with a readiness to adapt your plans, when needed, on the fly.

LESSON 34

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Options, Mo’ Problems

KEYWORD: Balance

Perhaps the most humbling pieces of correspondence that I receive come from individuals who aspire to attain their own “rags-to-riches” story and who ask me most sincerely to invest their life’s savings for them. A single mother with four children wrote to tell me that she was running two businesses she started—a janitorial service and an Internet site that sold her products—while managing to work full-time as a nurse. Her aspiration was to cut back her hours on these jobs to spend more time with her kids, theoretically by reinvesting her savings in the stock market. Talk about mastery of multiple pursuits! That’s the kind of entrepreneurial spirit that corporations should be hiring for executive status. Moreover, her desire to invest is certainly cause for applause in my book. My advice to her as well as to you, if you are similarly inclined, is to take smaller, incremental steps toward getting to know the stock market.

As is the policy of my firm, we are unable to accept such requests, since we invest for institutions and aren’t equipped for individual investment programs. What we do advise to anyone who wants to invest wisely is to explore mutual funds or investigate forms of professional asset management. But, more important, use your time to become financially literate before you invest your money. You can empower yourself by learning how to use every tool in the financial toolbox that is applicable to your needs and objectives.

I’m also asked about credit card consolidation and other kinds of debt reduction offers. Again, go through accredited experts who have proven themselves to be trustworthy by someone you know. Visit your local library to see what books on managing your own finances will assist you in doing your own research. The folks at the reference desk may not only direct you to helpful reading materials, but they may also know of community classes or lectures that are typically free to the public and offer sound money management advice.

Although this lesson doesn’t address specific ways to make money in the stock market, or how to develop a budget you can execute, or how to shake off that monkey of debt from your back, it does deal with something of concern to individuals of all ages and backgrounds, and at almost every financial level—the pursuit of mastery over money.

It’s important to make the distinction between pursuing money for money’s sake, and pursuing mastery over the role that money plays in your life. Three questions can be very helpful to ask, to keep your relationship to money real: (1) Does it control you or do you control it? (2) Do you work hard for the money (like Donna Summer sang to us)? Or do you let your money go to work for you? (3) Does money represent the cavalry that you’ve been waiting on, or is it only one resource in your pursuit of happyness?

Of course, I can cut to the chase and say that in the best of all worlds, you would hope to be in control of the role that money plays in your life, and that it should definitely go to work for you as opposed to you being enslaved to it. And, above all, it should never be seen as your ultimate salvation or even as a cure for what ails you when your problems seem to all be money based. Needless to say, all of that is much easier said than done, no matter where we fall in the economic spectrum. What’s required, more than anything else, is finding a sense of balance.

The late great Notorious B.I.G., who told the God’s truth about balance in financial matters when he wrote “Mo Money Mo Problems,” a song and video released after his untimely death. “I don’t know what they want from me,” he wrote. “It’s like the more money we come across, the more problems we see.” So let me ask you—have you ever imagined that money was going to solve all your problems? If so, you must have eventually come to the same conclusion that I did when I learned, over time, through trial and error, that although money serves many needs and does indeed provide you with options you didn’t have before, it also creates a whole new slew of problems that you never could have imagined.

Before I really understood Biggie’s refrain, I had the opportunity to experience how mo’ money does in fact produce mo’ options. My yearlong experience of being one of the white-collar working homeless taught me well that every dollar earned moved us a step closer to putting a roof over our heads. With the financial advancement that followed, of course, we were able to thrive as our surroundings and our lifestyle improved. Some of those improvements were necessary, others were important, and some options were luxuries.

For anyone who has seen the movie The Pursuit of Happyness or read the book, you’ll know that it was Bob Bridges’s red Ferrari that caught my attention and that led me to ask him what it was that he did for a living. The car became a symbol for me of what was possible. It represented the empowerment of having the option to buy any car that I wanted. And so, when the day came that I was able to own and drive one of those babies, it was a milestone, without a doubt, a time to celebrate, throw the confetti and the parade, and then get back to work. At the same time, the power to believe that it could be an option one day was the life-changing part of the story.

That’s portable knowledge. If you ask yourself whether you could have the option of doing, having, or being anything, and your answer is yes, then you’ve got this part of the lesson down. You understand that money is only a means, not an end. You recognize that it’s a useful measure for the marketplace, not the be-all to success. You’ve already got a handle on financial balance.

What about Biggie’s emphasis on the problems related to money? First of all, you don’t have to be a rap star to learn that the minute your income rises at a certain healthy rate how quickly your expenses rise exponentially to blunt any profit you could have anticipated. It’s not just your own excessive desire to have those options you wanted when you couldn’t have them. Even if you’re disciplined in keeping yourself in check, you can be sure that before you’ve actually made some decent bucks, the feeding frenzy will begin. All of a sudden, friends, relatives, former associates, and strangers you passed on the street years before will come crawling out of the woodwork to spend your money for you. Everybody and their brother, as well as their pet poodle, will remind you constantly of everything they did for you once upon a time and go on and on until all you can do is say, “How much?” As generous as you want to be, you’ll have to learn to say no, and that won’t make you beloved.

That’s only the beginning of grasping the double-edged sword that gets swung with this lesson. Again, one of the reasons that some of us downplay our aspirations in terms of our larger goals is the jealousy and downright hatred it provokes in others. Seeking your farthest star may have nothing to do with money, but it will still cost you. It may be that you’re leaving an abusive relationship or breaking a cycle of dependency. It may be that you’re taking on the status quo. You might be crazy enough to think that you can create a new paradigm for the engines of industry and commerce around the world. Whatever it is, the more empowered you become, the more you may be resented. Be prepared for push-back and be prepared for problems. Be prepared to spend a lot of time alone—which is okay, too.

And if you’re still just thinking about the toys, what you’ll learn, as I discovered much to my surprise, is that you won’t necessarily have the time to enjoy them. It is true what they say, that time is the ultimate luxury—which is why a quiet night at home watching a classic movie with folks I love is as enriching to me as a resort vacation.

Once I put both sides of the equation together, I had an epiphany. It was finally possible for me to answer those three questions and say that I wanted to control my financial resources, to have them work for me, and that money was neither the problem nor the cure.

The practical application has been to maintain balance between desired financial growth and the cost of doing business. That has been a reminder to keep focused on the work at hand and to reinvest the lion’s share of profit back into the business, minimizing excesses all around, and to share the wealth by investing in socially conscious organizations that emphasize education and job creation.

Let me emphasize that there ain’t no shame in the game of marking your success with a symbol like a red Ferrari or any other option that the fruits of your labors might bring you. And as you expand your belief in your possibilities, so, too, can you expand your income. I’m also big on the old-fashioned advice many of us learned growing up—spend less than you earn and pay as you go. If you set the rules and adhere to them, that’s another way to gain the advantage in the power over money. It’s useful to also have a stated policy in regard to your personal financial affairs, which you can create with your C-5 complex, making it clear, concise, and compelling so that you follow it with commitment and consistency. What’s more, such a document may diminish the problems of misunderstandings when partners or family members have differing ideas.

My last suggestion as you seek your balance when it comes to mastery of money is to remember the earlier lesson to learn the ropes first and then conquer Rome. That’s the real strategy for rags to riches.

LESSON 35

Money Is the Least Significant Component of Wealth

KEYWORD: Worth

Young audiences aren’t big on this lesson, and I don’t blame them. They’ve been raised with the get-rich-quick-or-die-trying mentality that isn’t just in the ‘hood but is everywhere. My argument whenever they wish to debate me about the value of money in determining worth is to look at every kid in the room and ask, “How many of you know any retired drug dealers?” Of course, that’s an oxymoron because drug dealers don’t retire. They either die or go to jail.

Although this lesson has been transformational for me, it took a while to learn. The teachers of it were Christopher Jr. and Jacintha. My son comes out with some pretty dazzling pearls of wisdom now and then, but the absolute most priceless gift he ever gave me that I never forgot was the night when he was about two years old, back in Oakland, and I was giving him a bath by candlelight because the electricity had been turned off. Cash had gotten low and I was late on the bill. Even so, that night I was the wealthiest man in the universe when he said, quite out of the blue, “Poppa, you’re a good poppa.” My daughter is so much like her grandmother, my mom, it’s uncanny. Often she will say things in almost the same intonation as my mother. Every day she and her brother remind me that family, for me, is the most significant component of wealth. And time, as we’ve already seen, is also a luxury that I dearly treasure, an asset to be used wisely and prized. Other resources that I value in myself and that give me worth are passion, focus, oceanic persistence, and many of the very assets that have been revealed by numerous life lessons. Pursuit, as you probably have discovered by now, helps us to value those assets even more.

Again, this isn’t to be naive and say money doesn’t matter. To the contrary, it’s the dominant means of exchange in the world, a useful measure and standard, and the usual means for providing those options we discussed elsewhere. Anyone who tells you that money doesn’t matter at all probably has never had to go hungry or worry about where they’re going to sleep that night and how to pay for prescriptions, transportation to work, or clothes to keep them warm.

We all deserve to receive respectful compensation for our work and our contributions. But if money becomes the only barometer for wealth and worth, we will never master an appreciation or use of all our other valuable assets. As the least significant component of wealth, money is still and has always been a unit of measurement. It should never be a measurement of the worth of your life.

A practical application of this lesson that has been helpful for me is to substitute the word resourceful for wealthy. It can be eye-opening to reconsider how, yes, money is only one resource among many, and when compared with the others, it’s the only one that is easy to replace when it’s lost. To take this application a step further, you might also want to explore the always useful tool of the PBS.

No, this doesn’t mean watching more television, even if it is educational.

The PBS, or personal balance sheet, is traditionally a two-tiered or two-columned ledger that quantifies your net worth by listing your gross income, savings, investments, and other material holdings, from which you subtract your cost of living and what you owe, short and long term. It’s an accounting of your assets less your liabilities. Ideally, the plus side of the ledger will be greater than the minus side.

Some years ago, economists began to recognize how balance sheets showing a company’s net worth in fiscal terms alone were not coming close to providing investors with a sense of the company’s real value in terms of intangibles—those assets and liabilities that can’t be measured by tangible, quantitative numbers. Other than on-site visits and gut reactions, we had very few ways to assess such intangibles as human resources. A company that wasn’t ringing up the numbers yet might still be a gold mine of innovation, intellectual property, strategic partners, powerful brand concepts, corporate values, and reputation. As a result, some have developed the use of a “balanced scorecard” that includes profits but also attempts to create market values for intangibles such as socially conscious practices that positively impact the community and the planet.

To apply the lesson that money is the least significant component of wealth, you may be surprised at what you’ll discover by creating your own version of a PBS to consider the assets and resources you most value. You can list accomplishments and even undertakings that you dared to pursue, whether or not they succeeded. You can list challenges and obstacles overcome, along with life lessons you were savvy enough to keep as part of your worth.

Maybe your professional work ethic is an asset. Maybe you are a gold-medal-winning parent. You may want to remind yourself of areas in which you’ve attained mastery that you don’t value enough. What about character, discipline, resilience, instigation, and other resources that make you proud of yourself? You can list any of the five Cs or the three As. What about your reputation for kindness, humor, and flexibility, and your unique point of view? What about your natural resources? You could have a million-dollar smile or the style of someone who looks like a million bucks. How about your eyesight or your powers of observation? Are you a good listener? If you know that you are where you are right now because you drove here, then you have power that is a thousand times more valuable than dough.

All of these intangibles are resources that can infinitely enrich you and lead to lasting growth. If you, like me, find that you have been blessed by the opportunities to teach, to pass on your life lessons, to share your story, and to inspire others to dare, dream, and do, make sure you write those things down on your PBS in big bold capital letters.

Yes, it’s true that not all those assets on your PBS will be acknowledged by a banker—unless, that is, the banker is you. There we have our bottom line: that only you can determine your true worth.

LESSON 36

Conscious Capitalism: A Personal and Global Primer

KEYWORD: Contribution

The mastery of the pursuit of happyness is a mysterious and challenging subject. You won’t be surprised when I say that it’s provoked many questions that I’ve sought to answer over the years. At the top of that list is a question so ancient that it was probably asked back in the days of cave dwellers when our human ancestors started fighting over who had the better cave. It’s the question of why the cave dweller with more and better stuff wasn’t necessarily the happyest. Cut to modern day: examples abound everywhere that the guys and gals with the most money are usually not the happiest either.

What is it that defines those who are the happyest? That question has also probably been asked as far back as when prehistoric humans looked around and saw that odd, happy individual who had the least amount of stuff—except for something he or she had created messing around with sticks and stones, a little valuable commodity later known as fire, which, of course, led to the first-ever community barbecue and picnic.

What that happyest person had attained, in my own opinion and that of other experts on the subject of mastering happyness, was a sense of contribution. The fire was undoubtedly created to better the chances of survival of that individual and family. It also went on to contribute to the survival of humankind.

That is the premise of conscious capitalism. It rests on the belief that each and every one of us can and should have (1) the opportunity to create value for ourselves and (2) the opportunity to add value to the world. As a business paradigm and as a structure for personal growth, it works along the same lines.

You can employ the two steps of conscious capitalism to whatever your pursuit of happyness, personally or globally, might be. Let me emphasize that this doesn’t have to be in the business world or on issues of worldwide concern. You can localize and personalize these two steps for such pursuits as empowering yourself as a person, parent, professional, or plain old citizen. The simple construction that I use is (a) create value for shareholders (including yourself, your family, co-workers, allies, associates, and affiliates, or any stakeholders who may benefit) and (b) find a way to add value to the world.

When all is said and done, inasmuch as we have autonomy over our actions, we’re still all here in this together—microorganisms in this here and now as we know it, totally connected, interrelated, and dependent on the whole. And what is having fire all to yourself—or success and happyness in a vacuum? It’s empty.

My advisory on this lesson, however you decide—or not—to apply it, is to think of that cave dweller coming up with the force of fire. The question wasn’t “should I?” but “how can I?” Furthermore, there was something definitely in it for him or her, and for the rest of us. And that said, if the cave dweller could do it, why can’t you?

LESSON 37

Make Your Dream Bigger Than Yourself

KEYWORD: Vision

This lesson is one that has lived inside of me from the time that I was young and has woven itself into the fabric of who I am. But it has only been in the last five years that I’ve witnessed how many ways it can be applied, thanks to the gift of meeting everyday people everywhere I go—and getting to know their stories through correspondence in the most moving details. They are living examples of what it means to expand your vision in order to Make your dream bigger than yourself.

An e-mail from sixteen-year-old Scott of Phoenix, Arizona, told the story of how two years earlier he and some friends decided to commit some hours to community service and to volunteer one morning a week at a homeless shelter, serving meals. “It was an amazing experience as a youth,” he wrote, “to see the joy on people’s faces as they received breakfast.” In the process, they befriended a middle-aged homeless gentleman who had been unemployed for some time. At first Scott and his friends made small gestures, like pitching in to buy him toiletries, then purchasing him a few articles of clothing. Whenever they asked if he wanted something else, he would tell them, “I don’t want to put you out.” Scott recognized that he was genuinely concerned that these teenagers would end up broke and homeless, if they did too much. Then one day while volunteering at another homeless shelter, Scott came to the conclusion that they could do more.

They thought of the gentleman they had befriended and wondered how he would receive their help if they offered to mentor him to “get a job, maintain a budget, create a community of support and love around him.” Scott went on to say that two years later their friend was employed, managing his own money and time, happy in his own place, and “living the life he never dreamed would be possible.” For Scott and his friends, it was all the incentive they needed to create a project they call “Open Table”—using the same resources of support and coaching that had been successful in their first effort, all putting their energies into something larger than themselves. The three had continued to grow their vision and were working in partnership with other forces in the community with the shared focus to empower those who are homeless toward rebuilding their own lives.

Two aspects of Scott’s e-mail have really stayed with me. First, he never needed anyone to tell him to “Be the change you want to see” or “The change starts with you.” With passion, focus, and determination, he had started and he was being the change! Second, Scott helped me answer a question that comes to me constantly from folks still diggin’ their potatoes when it comes to pursuing their dreams. They all want to know how and where to find a mentor. Many ask if I’ll be that mentor. Scott didn’t have to go looking. He chose to become his own mentor. Certainly, he may have been inspired by role models in his community and others, but he rolled up his sleeves, motivated his friends, and said, Let’s go, let’s do this thing.

If you are anything like the majority of folks that I’ve been graced with getting a chance to meet and know, I suspect that this is a lesson that lives within you as well and that it may have already been activated. Or perhaps it’s waiting for that right kind of fertilizer to help it grow and reach forth to the surface.

Sometimes those tough and even devastating challenges that occur are what’s needed to connect us to the cause of our lifetime, in order to give us the vision for the role that we can play. I’ve met survivors of unimaginable suffering who have told me as much, who have said that in their darkest hour the only light they could find was the belief that they could make it through so that someone else wouldn’t have to suffer as they had. In that way, their dreams became so much more than themselves.

The connection between our own suffering and the ability to have the vision to make our dreams larger than ourselves is not coincidental. No one personifies this more for me than Nelson Mandela. It was his journey that most illustrated the fact that wherever you are in life, you can see all the steps that were taken, all of the collective steps that count—and must be accounted for, accepted, and acknowledged. There is no doubt that he wouldn’t have accomplished what he did—and wouldn’t have changed all of us in the process—had he not lived through every challenge along the way that he faced, including twenty-seven years spent in prison.

I had the haunting and life-transforming experience of visiting Robben Island Prison, where Mandela had been sent at the end of 1962—with a life sentence—and where I was shown his prison cell. His story amazed me then, as it still does to a certain extent, as I try to imagine what sustained him. What was it that allowed him to declare in 1975 that he believed he would one day be free and walk out of prison on his own two feet?

His vision was possible because of nothing more than the light that came into his window—a small, high square no bigger than a picture frame. All that was visible was a sliver of the world outside during the daytime hours. That was all he was allowed to see during his years of solitary confinement, before he was sent to work in the quarries and was nearly blinded by the sun there.

In 1990, after international pressure helped free Nelson Mandela—what many once said would have been impossible—he walked out of prison on his own, baby step by baby step. How fitting that Mr. Mandela’s autobiography is entitled A Long Walk to Freedom. Seeing that place for myself and visualizing that moment was in itself life changing, as it has been to watch how his vision has unfolded. At so many points, Madiba, as he is called in South Africa, could have retired and retreated from public life, but he seems to do more with every passing year. After winning the Nobel Prize, serving as president of South Africa, even creating a new fashion for the men of his country to improve self-esteem, Mandela’s dreams have continued to expand to include the formation of an international council of elders who are focused on the most pressing issues of our times.

That work, however, is not only for our elders—one of the most important applications of this lesson that I can share with you. With the opportunity to grow your dream, your pursuit can become larger than money, success, and mastery of only your arena. With vision, you’re about much more than all of that, on a higher level. Money woes, economic troubles, and business bubbles can’t defeat you when you choose to be above those concerns and instead grow your dream to take in others.

When I had the privilege of meeting Nelson Mandela for the first time, what had been scheduled as a fifteen-minute handshake meeting to share my vision for conscious capitalism with him turned into a forty-five-minute sit-down. The two of us sat on his couch together, side by side, and spoke of growing the dream of socially conscious private investment, job creation, and economic empowerment together—for South Africa, America, and everywhere, in underdeveloped and developed countries alike. The conversation, of course, was life altering, but it was his closing observations that most resonated and that I’d like to share with you. Madiba told me that in spite of the challenges, those of our time have all been given the opportunity and the responsibility to play a role in what he calls “the Great Generation,” defined by him as the generation that has the will and the means to do things bigger than ourselves.