فصل بیست و یکم

chapter 21

I am a child again, hiding under a table, with the revel spinning around above me.

Pressing my hand to my heart, I feel the speeding thud of it. I cannot think. I cannot think. I cannot think.

There is blood on my dress, little dots of it sinking into the blue sky.

I thought I could not be shocked by death, but—there was just so much of it. An embarrassing, ridiculous excess. My mind keeps going back over Prince Dain’s white ribs, the spray of blood from Elowyn’s throat, and the High King’s denying Balekin over and over as he died. Over poor Taniot and Caelia and Rhyia, who were forced to discover, each in turn, how the crown of Faerie mattered more than their lives.

I think of Madoc, who had been at Dain’s right hand all these years. Faeries might not be able to lie outright, but Madoc had lied with every laugh, every clap on the back, every shared cup of wine. Madoc, who’d let us all get dressed up and given me a beautiful sword to wear tonight, as though we were really going to some fun party.

I knew what he was, I try to tell myself. I saw the blood crusted on his red cap. If I let myself forget, then more fool me.

At least knights had led my family away before the killing started. At least none of the others had to watch, although, unless they were very far away, they could not have failed to hear the screams. At least Oak would not grow up as I have, with death as my birthright.

I sit there until my heart slows again. I need to get out of the hill. This revel is going to turn wilder, and with no new High Monarch on the throne, there is little holding any of the revelers back from any entertainment they can devise. It’s probably not the best time to be a mortal here.

I try to remember looking down on the layout of the throne room from above with the Ghost. I try to recall the entrances into the main part of the castle.

If I could find one of the guards and make them believe that I was part of Madoc’s household, they might take me to the rest of my family. But I don’t want to go. I don’t want to see Madoc, covered in blood, sitting beside Balekin. I don’t want to pretend that what happened is anything other than horrific. I don’t want to disguise my disgust.

There’s another way out. I can crawl under the tables to the steps and go up them to the ledge near Madoc’s strategy room. I think from there I can climb directly through and be in the part of the castle most likely to be deserted—and the part with access to secret tunnels. From there, I can get out without worrying about knights or guards or anyone else. Adrenaline makes my whole body sing with the desire to move, but although what I have feels like a plan, it’s not one yet. I can get out of the palace, but I have nowhere to go after that.

Figure it out later, instinct urges.

Okay, half a plan is good enough.

On my hands and knees, heedless of my dress, heedless of the way the sheath of my sword drags against the packed-earth floor, heedless of the pain in my hand, I crawl. Above me I hear music. I hear other things, too—the snap of what might be bones, a whimper, a howl. I ignore all of it.

Then the tablecloth lifts, and as my eyes adjust to the brightness of the candlelight, a masked figure grabs for my arm. There’s no easy way to draw my sword, crouched as I am under a table, so I grab for the knife inside my bodice. I am about to strike when I recognize those ridiculous spike-tipped shoes.

Cardan. The only one who can legitimately crown Balekin. The only other descendant of the Greenbriar line left. Everyone in Faerie must be looking for him, and here he is, wandering around in a flimsy silver fox half mask, blinking at me with drunken confusion and swaying a bit on his feet. I almost laugh outright. Imagine my luck to be the one to find him.

“You’re mortal,” he informs me. In his other hand, he’s carrying an empty goblet, tipped over absently, as though he’s forgotten he still carries it. “It’s not safe for you here. Especially if you go around stabbing everyone.” “Not safe for me?” Absurdity of the statement aside, I have no idea why he’s acting as though he’s ever thought about my safety for a moment, except to endanger it. I try to remind myself he must be in shock and grieving, and that might make him behave strangely, but it’s hard to think of him as a person who could care about anyone enough to mourn. Right now, he doesn’t even seem to care about himself. “Get down here before you’re recognized.” “Playing hide-and-seek under the table? Crouching in the dirt? Typical of your kind, but far beneath my dignity.” He laughs unsteadily, like he expects I am going to laugh, too.

I don’t. I ball up my fist and punch him in the stomach, right where I know it will hurt. He staggers to his knees. The goblet drops to the dirt, making a hollow clanking sound. “Ow!” he shouts, and lets me tug him under the table.

“We’ll get out of here without anyone noticing,” I tell him. “We stay under the tables and make our way to the steps to the upper levels of the palace. And don’t tell me it’s beneath your dignity to crawl. You’re so drunk you can barely stand anyway.” I hear him snort. “If you insist,” he says. It’s too dark to see his expression, and even if it wasn’t, he’s masked.

We make our way through the underside of the tables, with ballads and drinking songs sung above us, screams and whispers in the air, and the soft footfalls of dancers echoing around us like rain. My heart is hammering from the bloodshed, from Cardan being so close, from striking him without consequences. I concentrate on him shuffling behind me. Everything smells of packed earth, spilled wine, and blood. I can feel my thoughts spiraling away, can feel myself start to tremble. I bite the inside of my lip to give myself a fresh pain to focus on.

I must keep it together. I can’t lose it now, not where Cardan will see.

And not when a plan is starting to form in my mind. A plan requiring this last prince.

I glance back and see that he has stopped moving. He’s sitting on the ground, looking at his hand. Looking at his ring. “He despised me.” His voice sounds light, conversational. Like he’s forgotten where he is.

“Balekin?” I ask, thinking of what I saw at Hollow Hall.

“My father.” Cardan snorts. “I didn’t much know the others, my brothers and sisters. Isn’t that funny? Prince Dain—he didn’t want me in the palace, so he forced me out.” I wait, not sure what to say. It’s disturbing to see him like this, behaving as though he might have emotions.

After a moment, he seems to come back to himself. His eyes focus on me, glittering in the dark. “And now they’re all dead. Thanks to Madoc. Our honorable general. They never should have trusted him. But your mother discovered that a long time ago, didn’t she?” I narrow my eyes. “Crawl.”

The corner of his mouth lifts. “You first.”

We go from table to table, until finally we’re as close as we’re likely to get to the steps. Cardan pushes back the tablecloth and reaches out his hand toward me, in the gallant manner of someone helping up the person they’ve been trysting with. Maybe Cardan would say he was doing it for the benefit of onlookers, but we both know he’s mocking me. I stand without touching him.

The only thing that matters is getting out of the hall before the revel gets bloodier, before the wrong creature decides I am an amusing plaything, before Cardan is gutted by someone who doesn’t want any High Monarch in power.

I start toward the steps, but he stops me. “Not like that. Your father’s knights will recognize you.” “I’m not the one they’re looking for,” I remind him.

He frowns, although his mask hides most of it. Still, I can see it in the turn of his mouth. “If they see your face, they may pay too much attention to whom you’re with.” Annoyingly, he’s right. “If they knew me at all, they’d know I’d never be with you.” Which is ridiculous, since I am currently standing beside him, although it makes me feel better to say it. With a sigh, I take down my braids, rubbing my hands through my hair until it hangs wild in my face.

“You look —” he says, and then trails off, blinking a few times, not seeming able to finish. I am guessing the hair thing worked better than he had expected.

“Give me a second,” I say, and I plunge into the crowd. I don’t like risking this, but covering my face is safer than not. I spot a nixie in a black velvet mask eating a tiny sparrow’s heart off a long pin. Slyfooting up behind her, I cut the ribbons and catch the mask before it hits the floor. She turns, searching for where it fell, but I am already away. Soon she will abandon looking and eat another delicacy—or at least I hope she will. It is just a mask, after all.

When I return, Cardan is swilling down more wine, his gaze burning into me. I have no idea what he sees, what he’s even looking for. A thin rivulet of green liquid pours over his cheek. He reaches for the heavy silver pitcher as if to pour himself another cup.

“Come on,” I say, grabbing for his gloved hand with mine.

We’re to the steps out of the hall when three knights move to block our way. “Look elsewhere for your pleasure,” one informs us. “This is the way to the palace, and it is barred to common Folk.” I feel Cardan stiffen beside me, because he’s an idiot and cares more about being called common than anyone’s safety, sadly even his own. I tug his arm. “We will do as we are bid,” I assure the knight, trying to move Cardan away before he does something we will both regret.

Cardan, however, will not be moved. “You are much mistaken in us.”

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

“The High King Balekin is a friend to my lady’s Court,” Cardan says, silver-tongued in his silver fox mask. He wears an easy half smile. He’s speaking the language of privilege, speaking it with his drawling tone, with the looseness of his limbs, as though he thinks he owns everything he can see. Even drunk, he’s convincing. “You may have heard of Queen Gliten in the Northwest. Balekin sent a message about the missing prince. He is waiting for an answer.” “I don’t suppose you have any proof of that?” one of the knights asks.

“Of course.” Cardan holds out a fisted hand and opens it to reveal a royal ring gleaming in the center of his palm. I have no idea when he took it off his finger, a neat bit of sleight of hand that I had no idea he could do, no less while inebriated. “I was given this token so you would know me.” At the sight of the ring, they step back.

With an obnoxious, too-charming smile, Cardan grabs my arm and hauls me past them. Although I have to grit my teeth, I let him. We’re on the steps, and it’s because of him.

“What about the mortal?” one of the guards calls. Cardan turns.

“Oh, well, you aren’t entirely mistaken in me. I intended to keep some of the delights of the revel for myself,” he says, and they all smirk.

It is all I can do not to knock him to the ground, but there’s no dispute he’s clever with words. According to the baroque rules that govern fey tongues, everything he said was true enough, so long as you concentrate only on the words. Balekin is Madoc’s friend, and I am part of Madoc’s Court, if you squint a little. So I am the “lady.” And the knights probably have heard of Queen Gliten; she’s famous enough. I’m sure Balekin is waiting for an answer about the missing prince. He’s probably desperate for one. And no one can claim that Cardan’s ring isn’t meant to be a token by which he’s known.

As for what he wants to keep from the revel, it could be anything.

Cardan is clever, but it’s not a nice kind of cleverness. And it’s a little too close to my own propensity for lying to be comfortable. Still, we’re free. Behind us, what should have been a celebration of a new High King continues: the shrieking, the feasting, the whirling around in endless looping dances. I glance back once as we climb, taking in the sea of bodies and wings, inkdrop eyes and sharp teeth.

I shudder.

We climb the steps together. I let him keep his possessive grip on my arm, guiding me. I let him open the doors with his own keys. I let him do whatever he wants. And then, once we’re in the empty hall in the upper level of the palace, I turn and press the point of my knife directly underneath his chin.

“Jude?” he asks, up against the wall, pronouncing my name carefully, as though to avoid slurring. I am not sure I have ever heard him use my actual name before.

“Surprised?” I ask, a fierce grin starting on my face. The most important boy in Faerie and my enemy, finally in my power. It feels even better than I thought it would. “You shouldn’t be.”