فصل 09

chapter 9

ON SATURDAY, the day of my date with Stuart Whitworth, I sit for two hours under the Shinalator (results, it seems, only last until the next wash). When I’m dry, I go to Kennington’s and buy the flattest shoes I can find and a slim black crepe dress. I hate shopping, but I’m glad for the distraction, to not have to worry about Missus Stein or Aibileen for an afternoon. I charge the eighty-five dollars to Mother’s account since she’s always begging me to go buy new clothes. (“Something flattering for your size.”) I know Mother would profoundly disapprove of the cleavage the dress enables me to have. I’ve never owned a dress like this. In the Kennington’s parking lot I start the car, but cannot drive for the sudden pains in my stomach. I grip the white padded steering wheel, telling myself for the tenth time that it’s ridiculous to wish for something I’ll never have. To think I know the color blue his eyes are from a black-and-white photograph. To consider something a chance that is nothing but paper and filament and postponed dinners. But the dress, with my new hair, it actually looks pretty good on me. And I can’t help but hope. IT WAS FOUR MONTHS AGO when Hilly showed me the picture, out back by her swimming pool. Hilly was tanning in the sun, I was fanning in the murky shade. My heat rash had flared in July and hadn’t subsided. “I’m busy,” I said. Hilly sat on the edge of the pool, saggy and post-pregnant fat, inexplicably confident in her black swimsuit. Her stomach was paunchy, but her legs, as always, were thin and pretty. “I haven’t even told you when he’s coming,” she said. “And he comes from such a good family.” She was, of course, talking about her own. He was William’s second cousin removed. “Just meet him and see what you think.” I looked down at the picture again. He had clear open eyes, light brown curly hair, was the tallest in a group of men by a lake. But his body was half-hidden by the others. He must not have all his limbs. “There’s nothing wrong with him,” Hilly said. “Ask Elizabeth, she met him at the Benefit last year while you were up at school. Not to mention, he dated Patricia van Devender for forever.” “Patricia van Devender?” Most Beautiful at Ole Miss, two years in a row? “Plus he started his own oil business over in Vicksburg. So if it doesn’t work out, it’s not like you’ll be running into him every day in town.” “Alright,” I finally sighed, more than anything to get Hilly off my back. IT’s PAST THREE O’CLOCK BY the time I get back home from buying the dress. I’m supposed to be at Hilly’s at six to meet Stuart. I check the mirror. The curls are starting to fray on the ends, but rest of my hair is still smooth. Mother was thrilled when I told her I wanted to try the Shinalator again and wasn’t even suspicious of why. She doesn’t know about my date tonight and if she somehow finds out, the next three months will be full of excruciating questions like “Did he call?” and “What did you do wrong?” when it doesn’t work out. Mother’s downstairs in the relaxing room with Daddy, hollering at the Rebel basketball team. My brother, Carlton, is on the sofa with his shiny new girlfriend. They drove up this afternoon from LSU. She has a dark straight pontytail and wears a red blouse. When I get Carlton alone in the kitchen, he laughs, yanks my hair like we’re kids again. “So how are you, sister?” I tell him about the job at the paper, that I’m editor of the League newsletter. I also tell him he better be moving back home after law school. “You deserve some of Mother’s time too. I’m taking more than my fair share here,” I say through gritted teeth. He laughs like he understands, but how could he really? He’s three years older than me and great-looking, tall with wavy blond hair, finishing LSU law school, protected by a hundred and seventy miles of badly paved roads. When he goes back to his girlfriend, I search for Mother’s car keys, but I can’t find them anywhere. It’s already a quarter to five. I go and stand in the doorway, try to catch Mother’s attention. I have to wait for her to finish firing questions at Ponytail Girl about her people and where she’s from, but Mother will not let up until she finds at least one person they have in common. After that, it’s what sorority the girl was in at Vanderbilt, and she finally concludes by asking what her silver pattern is. It’s better than a horoscope, Mother always says. Ponytail Girl says her family pattern is Chantilly, but she’ll be picking out her own new pattern when she gets married. “Since I consider myself an independent thinker and all.” Carlton pets her on the head and she nudges against his hand like a cat. They both look up at me and smile. “Skeeter,” Ponytail Girl says to me across the room, “you’re so lucky to come from a Francis the First family pattern. Will you keep it when you get married?” “Francis the First is just dreamy,” I beam. “Why, I pull those forks out all the time just to look at them.” Mother narrows her eyes at me. I motion her to the kitchen, but another ten minutes pass until she comes in. “Where in the world are your keys, Mama? I’m late for Hilly’s. I’m staying there tonight.” “What? But Carlton’s home. What’s his new friend going to think if you leave for something better to do?” I’ve put off telling her this because I knew, whether Carlton was home or not, it would turn into an argument. “And Pascagoula made a roast and Daddy’s got the wood all ready for a fire tonight in the relaxing room.” “It’s eighty-five degrees outside, Mama.” “Now look. Your brother is home and I expect you to behave like a good sister. I don’t want you leaving until you’ve had a nice long visit with this girl.” She’s looking at her watch while I remind myself I’m twenty-three years old. “Please, darling,” she says and I sigh and carry a damn tray of mint juleps out to the others. “Mama,” I say back in the kitchen at five twenty-eight. “I’ve got to go. Where are your keys? Hilly’s waiting on me.” “But we haven’t even had the pigs in a blanket yet.” “Hilly’s got . . . a stomach bug,” I whisper. “And her help doesn’t come in tomorrow. She needs me to watch the kids.” Mother sighs. “I guess that means you’re going to church with them too. And I thought we could all go tomorrow as a family. Have Sunday dinner together.” “Mama, please,” I say, rummaging through a basket where she keeps her keys. “I can’t find your keys anywhere.” “You can’t take the Cadillac overnight. That’s our good Sunday church car.” He’s going to be at Hilly’s in thirty minutes. I’m supposed to dress and do my makeup at Hilly’s so Mother won’t suspect anything. I can’t take Daddy’s new truck. It’s full of fertilizer and I know he’ll need it at dawn tomorrow. “Alright, I’ll take the old truck, then.” “I believe it has a trailer on it. Go ask your daddy.” But I can’t ask Daddy because I can’t go through this in front of three other people who will look all hurt that I’m leaving, so I grab the old truck keys and say, “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going straight to Hilly’s,” and I huff outside only to find that not only does the old truck have a trailer hitched to it, but a half-ton tractor on top of that trailer. So I drive into town for my first date in two years in a red 1941 Chevrolet four-on-the-floor with a John Deere motor grader hooked behind me. The engine sputters and churns and I wonder if the truck will make it. Chunks of mud spray behind me off the tires. The engine stalls on the main road, sending my dress and bag flying onto the dirty floor. I have to restart twice. At five forty-five, a black thing streaks out in front of me and I feel a thunk. I try to stop but braking’s just not something you can do very quickly with a 10,000-pound piece of machinery behind you. I groan and pull over. I have to go check. Remarkably, the cat stands up, looks around stunned, and shoots back into the woods as quickly as it came. At three minutes to six, after doing twenty in a fifty with horns honking and teenagers hollering at me, I park down the street from Hilly’s house since Hilly’s cul-de-sac doesn’t provide adequate parking for farm equipment. I grab my bag and run inside without even knocking, all out of breath and sweaty and windblown and there they are, the three of them, including my date. Having highballs in the front living room. I freeze in the entrance hall with all of them looking at me. William and Stuart both stand up. God, he’s tall, has at least four inches over me. Hilly’s eyes are big when she grabs my arm. “Boys, we’ll be right back. Y’all just sit tight and talk about quarterbacks or something.” Hilly whisks me off to her dressing room and we both start groaning. It’s just so goddamn awful. “Skeeter, you don’t even have lipstick on! Your hair looks like a rat’s nest!” “I know, look at me!” All traces of the Shinalator’s miracle are gone. “There’s no air-conditioning in the truck. I had to ride with the damn windows down.” I scrub my face and Hilly sits me in her dressing room chair. She starts combing my hair out the way my mother used to do, twisting it into these giant rollers, spraying it with Final Net. “Well? What did you think of him?” she asks. I sigh and close my unmascaraed eyes. “He looks handsome.” I smear the makeup on, something I hardly even know how to do. Hilly looks at me and smudges it off with a tissue, reapplies it. I slip into the black dress with the deep V in the front, the black Delman flats. Hilly quickly brushes out my hair. I wash my armpits with a wet rag and she rolls her eyes at me. “I hit a cat,” I say. “He’s already had two drinks waiting on you.” I stand up and smooth my dress down. “Alright,” I say, “give it to me. One to ten.” Hilly looks me up and down, stops on the dip in the front of the dress. She raises her eyebrows. I’ve never shown cleavage before in my life; kind of forgot I had it. “Six,” she says, like she is surprised herself. We just look at each other a second. Hilly lets out a little squeal and I smile back. Hilly’s never given me higher than a four. When we come back into the front living room, William’s pointing his finger at Stuart. “I’m going to run for that seat and by God, with your daddy’s—” “Stuart Whitworth,” Hilly announces, “I’d like to introduce Skeeter Phelan.” He stands up, and for a minute my head is perfectly quiet inside. I make myself look, like self-inflicted torture, as he takes me in. “Stuart here went to school over at the University of Alabama,” William says, adding, “Roll Tide.” “Nice to meet you.” Stuart flips me a brief smile. Then he takes a long slurp of his drink until I hear the ice clink against his teeth. “So where we off to?” he asks William. We take William’s Oldsmobile to the Robert E. Lee Hotel. Stuart opens my door and sits beside me in the back, but then leans over the seat talking to William about deer season the rest of the ride. At the table, he pulls out my chair for me and I sit, smile, say thank you. “You want a drink?” he asks me, not looking my way. “No, thanks. Just water, please.” He turns to the waiter and says, “Double Old Kentucky straight with a water back.” I guess it’s some time after his fifth bourbon, I say, “So Hilly tells me you’re in the oil business. That must be interesting.” “The money’s good. If that’s what you really want to know.” “Oh, I didn’t . . .” But I stop because he’s craning his neck at something. I look up and see he’s staring at a woman who’s at the door, a busty blonde with red lipstick and a tight green dress. William turns to see what Stuart’s looking at, but he swings back around quickly. He shakes his head no, very slightly, at Stuart and I see, heading out the door, it’s Hilly’s old boyfriend, Johnny Foote, with his new wife, Celia. They leave and William and I glance at each other, sharing our relief that Hilly didn’t see them. “Lord, that girl’s hot as Tunica blacktop,” Stuart says under his breath and I suppose that’s when I just stop caring what happens. At some point, Hilly looks at me to see what’s going on. I smile like everything’s fine and she smiles back, happy to see it’s all working out. “William! The lieutenant governor just walked in. Let’s go speak before he sits down.” They go off together, leaving us, the two lovebirds sitting on the same side of the table, staring at all the happy couples in the room. “So,” he says, hardly turning his head. “You ever go to any of the Alabama football games?” I never even made it to Colonel Field and that was five thousand yards from my bed. “No, I’m not really a football fan.” I look at my watch. It’s hardly seven fifteen. “That so.” He eyes the drink the waiter has handed him like he’d really enjoy downing it. “Well, what do you do with your time?” “I write a . . . domestic maintenance column for the Jackson Journal.” He wrinkles his brow, then laughs. “Domestic maintenance. You mean . . . housekeeping?” I nod. “Jesus.” He stirs his drink. “I can’t think of anything worse than reading a column on how to clean house,” he says, and I notice that his front tooth is the slightest bit crooked. I long to point this imperfection out to him, but he finishes his thought with, “Except maybe writing it.” I just stare at him. “Sounds like a ploy to me, to find a husband. Becoming an expert on keeping house.” “Well, you must be a genius. You’ve figured out my whole scheme.” “Isn’t that what you women from Ole Miss major in? Professional husband hunting?” I watch him, dumbfounded. I may not’ve had a date in umpteen years, but who does he think he is? “I’m sorry, but were you dropped on your head as an infant?” He blinks at me, then laughs for the first time all night. “Not that it’s any of your business,” I say, “but I had to start somewhere if I plan on being a journalist.” I think I’ve actually impressed him. But then he throws back the drink and the look is gone. We eat dinner, and from his profile I can see his nose is a little pointy. His eyebrows are too thick, and his light brown hair too coarse. We say little else, to each other at least. Hilly chats, throwing things our way like, “Stuart, Skeeter here lives on a plantation just north of town. Didn’t the senator grow up on a peanut farm?” Stuart orders yet another drink. When Hilly and I go to the bathroom, she gives me a hopeful smile. “What do you think?” “He’s . . . tall,” I say, surprised she hasn’t noticed that not only is my date inexplicably rude, but drop-dead drunk. The end of the meal finally comes and he and William split the check. Stuart stands up and helps me with my jacket. At least he has nice manners. “Jesus, I’ve never met a woman with such long arms,” he says. “Well, I’ve never met anybody with such a drinking problem.” “Your coat smells like—” He leans down and sniffs it, grimacing. “Fertilizer.” He strides off to the men’s room and I wish I could disappear. The car ride, all three minutes of it, is impossibly silent. And long. We go back inside Hilly’s house. Yule May comes out in her white uniform, says, “They all fine, went to bed good,” and she slips out through the kitchen door. I excuse myself to the bathroom. “Skeeter, why don’t you drive Stuart home?” William says when I come out. “I’m bushed, aren’t you, Hilly?” Hilly’s looking at me like she’s trying to figure out what I want to do. I thought I’d made it obvious when I stayed in the bathroom for ten minutes. “Your . . . car’s not here?” I ask the air in front of Stuart. “I don’t believe my cousin’s in a position to drive.” William laughs. Everyone’s quiet again. “I came in a truck,” I say. “I’d hate for you to . . .” “Shoot,” William says, slapping Stuart on the back. “Stuart doesn’t mind riding in a truck, do you, buddy?” “William,” Hilly says, “why don’t you drive and, Skeeter, you can ride along.” “Not me, I’m too boozed up myself,” William says even though he just drove us home. Finally, I just walk out the door. Stuart follows me, doesn’t comment that I didn’t park in front of Hilly’s house or in Hilly’s driveway. When we get to my truck, we both stop, stare at the fifteen-foot tractor hooked behind my vehicle. “You pulled that thing all by yourself?” I sigh. I guess it’s because I’m a big person and have never felt petite or particularly feminine or girly, but that tractor. It just seems to sum up so much. “That is the funniest damn looking thing I have ever seen,” he says. I step away from him. “Hilly can take you,” I say. “Hilly will drive you.” He turns and focuses on me for what, I’m pretty sure, is the first time all night. After several long moments of standing there being looked at, my eyes fill with tears. I’m just so tired. “Ah, shit,” he says and his body loosens. “Look, I told Hilly I wasn’t ready for any damn date.” “Don’t . . .” I say, backing away from him, and I head back to the house. SUNDAY MORNING I GET up EARLY, before Hilly and William, before the kids and the church traffic. I drive home with the tractor rumbling behind me. The fertilizer smell gives me a hangover even though I had nothing but water last night. I’d gone back in Hilly’s house last night, Stuart trailing behind me. Knocking on Hilly’s bedroom door, I asked William, who already had a mouth full of toothpaste, would he mind driving Stuart home. I’d walked upstairs to the guest room before he even answered. I step over Daddy’s dogs on the porch, go into my parents’ house. As soon as I see Mother, I give her a hug. When she tries to let go, I can’t let her. “What is it, Skeeter? You didn’t catch Hilly’s stomach bug, did you?” “No, I’m fine.” I wish I could tell her about my night. I feel guilty for not being nicer to her, for not needing her until my own life turns bad. I feel bad for wishing Constantine was here instead. Mother pats my windblown hair down since it must be adding at least two inches to my height. “You sure you’re not feeling bad?” “I’m alright, Mama.” I am too tired to resist. I ache like someone kicked me in the stomach. With boots on. It won’t go away. “You know,” she says, smiling, “I think this might be the one for Carlton.” “Good, Mama,” I say. “I’m really glad for him.” AT ELEVEN O’CLOCK the next morning, the phone rings. Luckily, I’m in the kitchen and pick it up. “Miss Skeeter?” I stand very still, then look out at Mother examining her checkbook at the dining room table. Pascagoula is pulling a roast out of the oven. I go into the pantry and shut the door. “Aibileen?” I whisper. She’s quiet a second and then she blurts it out. “What if—what if you don’t like what I got to say? I mean, about white peoples.” “I—I . . . this isn’t about my opinion,” I say. “It doesn’t matter how I feel.” “But how I know you ain’t gone get mad, turn around on me?” “I don’t . . . I guess you’ll just have to . . . trust me.” I hold my breath, hoping, waiting. There is a long pause. “Law have mercy. I reckon I’m on do it.” “Aibileen.” My heart is pounding. “You have no idea how much I appreciate—” “Miss Skeeter, we gone have to be real careful.” “We will, I promise.” “And you gone have to change my name. Mine, Miss Leefolt’s, everbody’s.” “Of course.” I should’ve mentioned this. “When can we meet? Where can we meet?” “Can’t do it in the white neighborhood, that’s for sure. I guess . . . we gone have to do it over at my house.” “Do you know any other maids who might be interested?” I ask, even though Missus Stein has only agreed to read one. But I have to be ready, on the slim chance she likes it. Aibileen is quiet a moment. “I guess I could ask Minny. But she ain’t real keen on talking to white peoples.” “Minny? You mean . . . Missus Walters’ old maid,” I say, feeling suddenly how incestuous this is turning. I wouldn’t just be peering into Elizabeth’s life, but Hilly’s too. “Minny got her some stories. Sho nuff.” “Aibileen,” I say. “Thank you. Oh, thank you.” “Yes ma’am.” “I just . . . I have to ask you. What changed your mind?” Aibileen doesn’t even pause. “Miss Hilly,” she says. I go quiet, thinking of Hilly’s bathroom plan and accusing the maid of stealing and her talk of diseases. The name comes out flat, bitter as a bad pecan.