فصل 6

Chapter 6

CALL DREAMED, AND in his dream, he was a grown-up mage in a city he didn’t recognize. He lifted his hands and black lightning — chaos lightning — sparked between them. He felt a sense of surety and overwhelming power. It reminded him of the feeling he’d had when chaos was coursing through his body, except now he knew how to channel it.

This must have been what it felt like to be Constantine Madden.

The black fire shot from his fingers. It was as if he were Zeus; he could burn the whole world and it would be easy. With movements of his fingers, he guided the destructive fire, striking down other mages as they tried to run. Fire burst from the roofs of buildings. A stone clock tower was burning. He had no counterweight, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing mattered but power.

Call sat up, gasping. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. It took him several long moments to remember who he was and where he was — in his own bed in the Magisterium.

He kicked the covers away, hoping the shock of cold air would wake him up and push him further from the dream. It had been horrible, in a wonderful sort of way … Are you all right? Aaron sounded worried.

I think so, Call said. I mean, yeah. It was a nightmare, is all.

It was Constantine, Aaron said. His memories. It had to have been.

I’ve had weird dreams before, Call said. They don’t necessarily mean anything.

I’m sorry about before, Aaron said. Let me tell you what I found, okay? Then we can maybe figure out how to handle … kissing … while I’m still here.

Call sighed. “Probably by just not doing it,” he said glumly. At least in his bedroom he could talk out loud to Aaron without anyone thinking he’d lost his mind. “Okay, shoot.” There’s something locked up in your head, Aaron said. I don’t know how to describe it, but being in here is like being in a big space with windows. I can look out of them and I’m looking out of your eyes. There are currents, emotions, that move past me, and your thoughts are like words in my mind. But when we weren’t talking, before, it was like I bumped up against a locked door. In the middle of the room. There’s something closed away inside it.

“Like a repressed memory?” Call said, puzzled.

I think it’s Constantine’s memories, said Aaron. I think someone shut them away in here so you wouldn’t have access to them.

“Why would anyone do that?”

I don’t know. Aaron sounded frustrated. Maybe when he jumped into your body, because you were a baby, your mind couldn’t handle all of the memories, so they got shut away.

It made a kind of sense. “Or maybe they would have made me realize I was an adult, trapped in a baby’s body. Maybe he thought that would make him go insane?” I don’t know, but I think we should open them.

Call was up and out of the bed, shaking his head, though he knew Aaron couldn’t see him. “No. No!” Why not?

“The whole time I was with Master Joseph, every time I was around Anastasia Tarquin, all they wanted was for me to remember being Constantine Madden, because they thought those memories would, I don’t know, overwrite my own. What if the memories make me stop being Call?” Aaron was quiet for a long moment. I guess I figured they would just be memories and it would be like the way I am in your head. I’m still me, even if I hear your thoughts.

“But Constantine’s soul was my soul. Maybe they will feel like my memories. But even if they don’t, what if they’re really, really bad?” He was afraid, he realized, of more than just the possibility of turning into Constantine. He was afraid of facing all the terrible things that Constantine had really done. What if Call remembered every ugly, awful thing? What if he had to remember the death of his own mother?

I guess I didn’t think about any of that, Aaron said. But if you ever want to look at the memories, I’m here in your head, too. I will do everything I can to make sure that you stay you, okay?

Call felt like a coward. “Let me think about it.”

It was early, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep. Instead, he got up, got his towel and his change of clothes, and headed to the bathing room, Havoc padding along behind him. He washed up quickly while Havoc popped soap bubbles with his tongue, sneezing and then growling at the bubbles.

After the bath, Call headed back into his room and was startled by Jasper, shirtless, doing stretches in the common area.

“What are you doing?” Call demanded.

“Limbering up for the day ahead,” Jasper said, as though Call were the weird one. “Getting into the right mental place for magic.” “Ah,” Call said. “Sure.”

By the time he got back from walking Havoc, both of the girls were up, Gwenda with a purple silk cap over her twists, Tamara yawning as she took her toothpaste into the bathing area. The reality that Jasper and Gwenda were really Call’s new roommates and in his apprentice group was sinking in and he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the plus side, at least they hadn’t walked in on him and Tamara kissing.

Call had just put down some kibble for Havoc when the door opened and Master Rufus came in. “Today, apprentices, we’re going to continue to learn about metal, from both a scientific and magical perspective. Call, you will be joining us after you meet with a member of the Assembly.” “That doesn’t sound good,” Call said.

“This is an informal meeting and Mr. Rajavi has assured me that very little time will be taken away from your classes.” Master Rufus didn’t seem particularly concerned, which was reassuring. And Call knew Mr. Rajavi. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

“My dad’s here?” Tamara asked.

“He wanted me to give you his regards,” said Master Rufus. “He was sorry he couldn’t see you, but there are rules against apprentices getting visitors.” Unless that apprentice was a Makar who might also be an Evil Overlord. Then you got a lot of visitors.

“Call, Mr. Rajavi will be waiting for you in my office. I will accompany the rest of you to the Refectory.” And with that, they were off, leaving Call to eat some cereal and go to Master Rufus’s office alone.

Call took the path that led alongside one of the Magisterium’s many underground rivers. It glowed eerie blue in the light of the moss. On the way, he peered around, looking for Warren. He even called the little lizard’s name a few times, his voice echoing through the caverns. He was sure he’d see Warren during the short boat trip, but by the time he got to the far bank, he decided Warren was avoiding him.

When Call reached Rufus’s door, he tapped on it and heard Mr. Rajavi’s voice echo from inside: “Come in.” The office looked much as it always had. The same papers were tacked to the walls, covered in what Call now recognized as alchemical equations. The big couch was gone, replaced by more bookshelves, and the old workstation had been replaced by one made of a gleaming clear material — quartz, Call guessed. Tamara’s father sat behind Rufus’s rolltop desk.

Oh, God, Call thought. Tamara’s father. And he’d just kissed Tamara. Was that why Mr. Rajavi was here?

Don’t be totally ridiculous, said Aaron. Do you think he’s psychic or something?

Kimiya was grounded for making out with Evil Overlord Alex — Tamara had said so. Mr. Rajavi had a well-established policy of not liking his children making out with Evil Overlords.

Call slid into the chair opposite the desk, eyes wide. Mr. Rajavi gazed at him with an unsmiling expression. He wore an expensive-looking black suit and a thick gold watch on one wrist. His beard was perfectly trimmed.

I need to say something about Tamara, Call thought.

You really don’t, said Aaron, sounding alarmed.

I have to reassure him, Call protested.

Reassure him about what? You DID kiss Tamara. Just keep your mouth shut, Call.

“My intentions are honorable!” Call blurted. He wanted to say more, but Aaron had set up a loud angry buzzing in his head, like a giant bee.

Mr. Rajavi blinked. “That’s good, son. It’s good to hear that despite having the soul of Constantine Madden, you want to live an honorable life.” Narrow escape, Aaron muttered. At least he’d stopped the bee noise. Call shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” Tamara’s father said. “Your mother, Anastasia Tarquin, has been asking for you.” “She’s not my mother.” A wave of anger passed over Call, erasing his previous embarrassment. “She was Constantine Madden’s mother, and I am not him.” Mr. Rajavi smiled thinly. “I like your conviction. And I know my daughter thinks highly of you. Then again, I’ve started to be suspicious of those my daughters think highly of.” Maybe you should tell him you kissed Tamara, said Aaron. He’s a jerk.

He was always like this, Call said. You just never saw it because he wasn’t like that to you.

Call felt instantly bad for having thought that, but he didn’t want to let the silence stretch out too long while he tried to explain stuff to Aaron. “If you mean Alex Strike, I’m glad he’s dead, too,” Call said bluntly. “But I don’t want to see Anastasia.” “She’s in the Panopticon,” said Mr. Rajavi. “Her sentencing was this afternoon. She’s been condemned to death.” That shook Call. He tried not to show it, but his hands tightened on the arms of his chair. Maybe he should agree to see her, but trying to imagine himself back in the Panopticon, on the other side of the magical glass, was awful. Besides, he didn’t have anything to say to Anastasia. He couldn’t help her. And he didn’t want to keep pretending to be okay with her calling him Constantine.

He thought about the memories Aaron had found locked away in his head. Maybe if he looked at those, he would have some of the feelings for her that she hoped he would. But that only made him more determined not to unlock those memories.

“Do I have to go?” Call asked.

“Of course not,” Mr. Rajavi said. He seemed relieved at the thought that Call was really saying no. Maybe he didn’t want to go to the Panopticon either. “If you change your mind, tell Master Rufus.” Call stood up, assuming the meeting was over, only to have Mr. Rajavi stay where he was. After an awkward moment, Call sat down again. “Is there something else?” “An offer. You’re graduating from the Magisterium soon. Once you finish your Gold Year, you will be a mage in earnest and a very powerful one, a Makar. I want you to go to the Collegium. I will make sure you get accepted into the best programs there. I will clear a path for you to be a very important mage, perhaps an Assembly member yourself one day. But we want you to stop using chaos magic, except with the explicit permission of the Assembly. We want you to be our Makar.” Call was astonished. It wasn’t like he was running around using chaos magic all the time, for fun. But this was the same Mr. Rajavi who’d gotten Aaron to perform tricks with chaos magic at one of his parties. How had that been okay, but this wasn’t?

Maybe the Assembly would give you permission to do chaos tricks at parties, too, Aaron said with surprising cynicism.

“How would you know?” Call asked.

Mr. Rajavi’s eyebrows went up. Call supposed it didn’t sound like the question of someone who was planning on being honest.

“Well,” Mr. Rajavi said. “We would choose a new counterweight for you.” A new counterweight? Call was surprised at the depths of his revulsion at the thought. Aaron was his best friend. That was why he’d been willing to be Aaron’s counterweight and why Aaron had been his.

I’m still your best friend, Aaron said. If you start thinking like I am dead, it’s really going to freak me out.

“What if I don’t agree?” Call asked Mr. Rajavi.

“Let’s just hope that you do,” he said, a promise and a threat all in one.

“I’ve got to think about it,” Call replied.

Mr. Rajavi stood and extended his hand to Call, who got up to shake it. Call realized again how much taller he’d grown. He was looking down at Mr. Rajavi’s head.

“Think well,” Mr. Rajavi said. “You’ve got a bright future ahead of you.” On Call’s stiff-legged walk back through the tunnels, he considered Anastasia and the Assembly’s offer. He thought about Alastair, too, and his promise that once Gold Year was over they could travel and establish themselves in a new place with new identities.

Call came to where the rest of his apprentice group was training. Tamara was shaping her metal into a shining circle, liquid and dazzling. Jasper was poking some gold nuggets, while Gwenda was attempting to coax a mushy puddle of bronze into a bracelet. Master Rufus was sitting on a rock, looking to be a bit in despair.

If Call went away with Alastair, he would never see any of them again, but if he accepted the Assembly’s offer, he could see them whenever he wanted. They could all go to the Collegium together. He wouldn’t do any more chaos magic; it wasn’t like he wanted to do it anyway. Mr. Rajavi might not even ground Tamara for dating him.

You’re forgetting about one thing, Aaron said.

What’s that? Call asked.

Me.