فصل 44

CHAPTER 44

Thomas sat with his head against the wall, arms folded. Teresa had her legs pulled up under her, sitting so that she faced him. Minho had warned him not to listen to a word she said as they’d walked away.

“So,” Teresa said.

“So.”

“Where do we start?”

“This was your idea. You tell me. We can be done if you don’t have anything to say.” Teresa sighed. “Maybe you could start by giving me the benefit of the doubt and quit acting like a jerk. Yes, I know I did things in the Scorch, but you also know why I did them—to save you in the long run. I didn’t know it was all about Variables and patterns then. How about giving me a little credit? Talk to me like a regular person.” Thomas let silence fill the air for a few moments before he answered. “Okay, fine. But you left me behind at WICKED, which shows you—” “Tom!” she yelled, looking as if she’d been slapped. “We did not leave you behind! What are you talking about?” “What are you talking about?” Thomas was thoroughly confused now.

“We didn’t leave you behind! We came after you. You left us behind!”

Thomas could only stare at her. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“All anyone talked about at the complex was that you, Newt, and Minho had broken out and were in the surrounding forest somewhere. We looked but didn’t see any sign of you. I’ve been hoping ever since that somehow you made it back to civilization. Why do you think I was so thrilled to see you alive!” Thomas felt a stirring of familiar anger. “How can you possibly expect me to believe that? You probably knew exactly what Rat Man tried to tell me—that they needed me, that I’m the so-called Final Candidate.” Teresa slouched. “You think I’m the most evil person to ever walk the earth, don’t you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer her, though. “If you had just gotten your memories back like you were supposed to, you’d see that I’m the same Teresa I’ve always been. I did what I did in the Scorch to save you, and I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since.” Thomas was having a hard time staying angry—she didn’t seem to be acting. “How can I believe you, Teresa? How?” She looked up at him, and her eyes were glassy. “I swear to you, I don’t know everything about the Final Candidate—that stuff was developed after we went to the Maze, so I have no memories of that. But what I did learn was that WICKED doesn’t intend to stop the Trials until they get their blueprint. They’re preparing to start another round, Thomas. WICKED is gathering more Immunes to begin testing if the Trials didn’t work. And I can’t do it again. I left to find you. That’s it.” Thomas didn’t respond. A part of him wanted to believe. Desperately.

“I’m so sorry,” Teresa said through a sigh. She looked away and ran her hand through her hair. She waited several seconds before she looked at him again. “All I can tell you is that I’m torn up inside. Ripped apart. I did believe that a cure could happen, and I knew they needed you to do it. It’s different now. Even with my memories back I can’t think the same way I did before. I can see now that things will never end.” She stopped talking, but Thomas had nothing to say. He searched Teresa’s face and saw a pain unlike any he’d ever seen before. She was telling the truth.

She didn’t wait for him to speak before she continued. “So I made a deal with myself. I’d do whatever it took to make up for my mistakes. I wanted to save my friends first, and then other Immunes, if possible. And look what a great job I did.” Thomas searched for words. “Well, we haven’t done much better, have we?” Her eyebrows rose. “Were you hoping to stop them?”

“We’re about to be sold back to WICKED, so what does it matter?”

She didn’t answer right away. Thomas would’ve given anything to be inside her head—and not in the old way. For a brief moment he felt sad, knowing they’d shared countless hours together that he no longer had any memory of. They’d been best friends once.

She finally said, “If somehow we could do something, I hope that you’d find a way to trust me again. And I know we can convince Aris and the others to help us. They feel the same way I do.” Thomas knew he had to be careful. It was strange that she only agreed with him about WICKED now that she’d gotten her memories back.

“We’ll see what happens,” he finally said

She frowned deeply. “You really don’t trust me, do you?”

“We’ll see what happens,” he repeated. Then he stood up and walked away, hating the look of hurt on her face. And hating himself for caring after everything she’d done to him.