فصل 08 - بخش 12

8

Ralph and Jeannie were early risers; Derek would sleep until he was rousted at seven, the latest he could be allowed to sleep and still make the school bus. Ralph sat at the kitchen table in his pajamas while Jeannie started the Bunn and put out boxes of cereal for Derek to choose from when he came down. She asked Ralph how he’d slept. He said fine. She asked him how the job search for Jack Hoskins’s replacement was going. He said it was over. Based on his and Betsy Riggins’s recommendations, Chief Geller had decided to promote Officer Troy Ramage to Flint City’s three-man detective squad.

‘He’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he’s a hard worker and a team player. I think he’ll do.’

‘Good. Glad to hear it.’ She filled his mug, then ran a hand down his cheek. ‘You’re all scratchy, mister. You need to shave.’

He took his coffee, went upstairs, closed the bedroom door, and pulled his phone off the charger. The number he wanted was in his contacts, and although it was still early – Today’s opening trumpet flourish was still at least a half hour away – he knew she would be up. On many days, the phone at her end never got through the first ring. This was one of them.

‘Hello, Ralph.’

‘Hello, Holly.’

‘How did you sleep?’

‘Not so well. I had the dream about the worms. How about you?’

‘Last night was fine. I watched a movie on my computer and corked right off. When Harry Met Sally. That one always makes me laugh.’

‘Good. That’s good. What are you working on?’

‘Mostly it’s the same old same old.’ Her voice brightened. ‘But I found a runaway from Tampa in a youth hostel. Her mom has been looking for her for six months. I talked to her and she’s going home. She says she’ll give it one more try even though she hates her mother’s boyfriend.’

‘I suppose you gave her bus fare.’

‘Well …’

‘You know she’s probably smoking it up right now in some bumblefuck’s crash pad, don’t you?’

‘They don’t always do that, Ralph. You have to—’

‘I know. I have to believe.’

‘Yes.’

Silence for a moment in the connection between his place in the world and hers.

‘Ralph …’

He waited.

‘Those … those things that came out of him … they never touched either one of us. You know that, don’t you?’

‘I do,’ he said. ‘I think my dreams mostly have to do with a cantaloupe I cut open when I was a kid, and what was inside. I told you about that, right?’

‘Yes.’

He could hear the smile in her voice and smiled in return, as if she were in the room with him. ‘Of course I did, probably more than once. Sometimes I think I’m losing it.’

‘Not at all. Next time we talk, it will be me calling you, after I dream he’s in my closet with Brady Hartsfield’s face. And you’ll be the one to say you slept fine.’

He knew it was true, because it had already happened.

‘What you’re feeling … and I’m feeling … that’s normal. Reality is thin ice, but most people skate on it their whole lives and never fall through until the very end. We did fall through, but we helped each other out. We’re still helping each other.’

You’re helping me more, Ralph thought. You may have your problems, Holly, but you’re better at this than I am. Far better.

‘And you’re all right?’ he asked her. ‘I mean, really?’

‘Yes. Really. And you will be.’

‘Message received. Call me if you hear the ice cracking under your feet.’

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘And you’ll do the same. It’s how we go on.’

From downstairs, Jeannie called, ‘Breakfast in ten, honey!’

‘I’ve got to go,’ Ralph said. ‘Thanks for being there.’

‘You’re welcome,’ she said. ‘Take care of yourself. Be safe. Wait for the dreams to end.’

‘I will.’

‘Goodbye, Ralph.’

‘Goodbye.’

He paused and added, ‘I love you, Holly,’ but not until he ended the call. It was the way he always did it, knowing if he actually said it to her, she would be embarrassed and tongue-tied. He went into the bathroom to shave. He was in his middle age now, and the first speckles of gray had begun to show in the stubble he covered with Barbasol, but it was his face, the one his wife and son knew and loved. It would be his face forever, and that was good.

That was good.