فصل 05 - بخش 09

5

After breakfast, Holly returned to the guest room, supposedly to pack her things. Ralph suspected she was actually giving him time and privacy to say goodbye to his wife. She had her odd quirks, did Holly Gibney, but stupid she was not.

‘Ramage and Yates will be keeping a close eye out,’ he told Jeannie. ‘They both took personal days.’

‘They did that for you?’

‘And I think for Terry. They feel almost as badly as I do about how that went down.’

‘Have you got your gun?’

‘In my carry-on for now. Once we land, I’ll have it holstered on my belt. And Alec will have his. I want you to get yours out of the gun safe. Keep it close.’

‘Do you really think—’

‘I don’t know what to think, I’m with Holly on that. Just keep it close. And don’t shoot the mailman.’

‘Listen, maybe I should come.’

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

He didn’t want them in the same place today, but didn’t want to say why and worry her even more. They had a son to think about, one who was currently playing baseball or shooting arrows at targets backed with bales of hay or making beaded belts. Derek, who wasn’t much older than Frank Peterson had been. Derek, who simply assumed, as most kids did, that his parents were immortal.

‘You could be right,’ she said. ‘Somebody ought to be here if D calls, don’t you think?’

He nodded and kissed her. ‘That’s just what I was thinking.’

‘Be careful.’ She was looking up at him, eyes wide, and he had a sudden piercing memory of those eyes looking up at him in that same loving, hopeful, anxious way. That had been at their wedding, as they stood before their friends and relatives, swapping vows.

‘I will. I always am.’

He started to pull away from her. She pulled him back. Her grip on his forearms was strong.

‘Yes, but this isn’t like any other case you’ve ever worked. We both know that now. If you can get him, get him. If you can’t … if you run into something you can’t handle … back off. Back off and come home to me, do you understand?’

‘I hear you.’

‘Don’t say you hear me, say you will.’

‘I will.’ Again he thought of the day they’d made their vows.

‘I hope you mean that.’ Still with that piercing gaze, so full of love and anxiety. The one that said I’ve cast my lot with you, please don’t ever let me regret it. ‘I need to tell you something, and it’s important. Are you listening?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re a good man, Ralph. A good man who made a bad mistake. You’re not the first to do that, and you won’t be the last. You have to live with it, and I’ll help you. Make it better if you can, but please don’t make it worse. Please.’

Holly was coming rather ostentatiously downstairs, making sure they heard her approach. Ralph stood where he was a moment longer, looking down into his wife’s wide eyes – as beautiful now as they had been those years ago. Then he kissed her and stood back. She gave his hands a squeeze, a good hard one, and let him go.