فصل 18

Chapter 18

TEDROS

The Ultimate Mission

Tedros lifted his head blearily, quite sure he’d imagined the whole thing.

He hadn’t.

Reaper sat on the gilded throne, his bald, shriveled skin looking especially sickly beneath his crooked crown, his one good eye glowering at the prince, while Agatha looked stultified, her mouth agape.

Two more gnome guards wielding scimitars emerged from the darkness behind the throne and flanked the cat from both sides, while the gnome with the trumpet manned the door. On the head of the throne, the carved letters C. R. R. TEAPEA rearranged to . . .

REAPER CAT

Tedros choked.

Reaper sat on his hind legs and meowed loudly into the silence.

Princess Uma stepped forward from her place amongst the first years. “Yes, Your, um . . . Highness?” Reaper meowed again.

Princess Uma approached the throne.

Agatha’s cat whispered to her.

Uma nodded and tapped a glowing fingertip to his throat.

“This is impossible,” said Agatha, blinking like a fool. “There has to be some mistake—” “No mistake,” said her cat with a firm, deep voice. “You just haven’t been paying attention.” Agatha rocked back on her heels. “You talk?”

“I find man’s language a limited and ugly one, but thanks to Uma’s spell, I can communicate for the purposes of our meeting,” said Reaper, before turning his bold yellow eyes on Tedros. “And you’re lucky I haven’t spoken before today, given you’ve kicked me, called me Satan, and thrown me in a toilet, even though I’ve been a good friend to you when you’ve needed it.” He looked at Agatha. “Both of you.” Agatha shook her head. “But . . . but . . . you’re my cat!” “Your mother’s cat,” said Reaper, “which should have been your first clue that I’m a cat of the Woods, not Woods Beyond. As for my place here, gnomes believe that to be ruled by one of their own is to invite greed, self-interest, and corruption. If a gnome ruled Gnomeland, it would be just as broken as your human kingdoms. Since the beginning, then, gnomes have looked outside their kind for a king . . . a leader who could understand their way of life without abusing his power over it. The answer was obvious. Cats and gnomes are the same: at once friends to humans and indifferent to them. And yet cats are also solitary creatures, content with a bowl of milk and a warm bed. A cat king, then, would do what was best for the gnomes, while keeping apart and letting them live their lives.” “This is insane!” Agatha barked, finding her voice. “You lived with me! In my house!” “And I was there!” Tedros touted, stepping next to his princess. “I spent weeks with you in that graveyard! This doesn’t make sense—” “I’ve been King of Gnomeland for five years and in those five years, I came and went from your side as I pleased,” Reaper told Agatha. “I was with the gnomes when they needed me, just as I was with you when you needed me, with neither of you aware that I was living two lives. If I were a dog, you might have noticed my absences, since dogs are needy, odious beasts. But cats . . . we slip in and out of your life like old memories.” A gnome guard brought Reaper a goblet of spice-dusted cream, which he lapped at, before the gnome took it away.

Agatha went quiet, her face changing.

This is real, Tedros realized.

The cat is king.

“My father was ruler of Gnomeland before me. He, my mother, and my three brothers were beautiful, majestic black cats. I, on the other hand, was born like this,” Reaper explained, nodding down at his scrawny, hairless frame. “My father was ashamed and had me exiled deep into the Woods, a defenseless kitten, where Callis found me and made me her pet.” He smiled fondly at Agatha. “Sound familiar?” “That’s how my mother found me too,” Agatha breathed.

“Your mother couldn’t help loving those that others couldn’t,” said Reaper. “But even when she escaped from the School for Evil and hid in Gavaldon, Callis never kept me penned. I was free to return to the Endless Woods and venture back and forth as I pleased. Then your mother brought you home and I found myself feeling quite protective of you, despite my suspicion for humans. Meanwhile, I kept track of my father and brothers, the king and princes of Gnomeland, who had grown increasingly loyal to King Arthur, even going so far as to act as spies for Camelot. Wary, I returned to Gnomeland and appeared before my father’s court. Cats should know not to serve humans, I told him, otherwise we are no better than dogs. I remember the way my father looked at me, perched on this very throne. He called me a traitor. If I ever returned to Gnomeland, he said, I’d be killed on the spot.” Reaper sighed. “Then Merlin deserted King Arthur and Arthur retaliated by banishing magic from the kingdom, including the fairies and gnomes who had been his steadfast allies. After Arthur expelled the gnomes and destroyed their kingdom, my father and brothers were run out of Gnomeland for aligning with a man who had betrayed the entire gnome race. My father’s deposers found me and said I’d been right to warn my family about humans. Ironic, since my love for you and your mother had only deepened by then. Then the gnomes asked me to be their king.” He leaned back on his throne, his pink belly wrinkling like an accordion. “At first, I rejected the idea. I was happy on Graves Hill with you. But I realized I’d made the same mistake as the gnomes: I’d grown too trusting of humans, even ones I loved. Being king would let me live between worlds, belonging to neither. A selfish reason to take a crown, perhaps, but in the end, it’s made me a better king. I’ve taught the gnomes self-reliance, for I’m never here very long. And the gnomes have never been happier. They idolize me, name streets after me, worship me at their temple, none of which matters to me, of course . . . but in truth, the illusion of a king is all they needed to govern themselves. Not so different from you,” the cat said to Agatha. “I was your first friend, long before that other one knocked at your door. Without me, you might never have thought you even deserved a friend. Things have changed, of course. You don’t need me the way you once did, and that makes me proud. But I’ll always be with you, Agatha, even when you can’t see me. Like Merlin to Tedros, I’m watching you every step of the way, coming in and out of your story like only the best wizards can.” Reaper smiled. “Or the best cats.” Agatha wept into her sleeve.

Her pet’s tale had moved her, Tedros sensed, but more than that, Agatha was relieved: they had a friend here in Gnomeland. A true friend. Tedros thought about all the times the cat had saved them: delivering Callis’ message to the League of Thirteen . . . rescuing them from Graves Hill when guards came for them . . . helping Agatha find Excalibur in the war against Rafal . . . protecting Tedros at Camelot when Agatha left on her quest. . . .

“I’m sorry,” the prince said, looking up at Reaper. “For the way I’ve treated you.” “I’m sorry too,” the cat confessed. “I felt you were a poor match for Agatha. You reminded me of my father and brothers: too handsome and arrogant to ever see the world clearly. But you’ve grown more than you know. Most born into entitlement wither under adversity. You’ve admitted your faults and not only seek redemption, but are willing to put in the work to achieve it. You’ve earned the right to fight for your crown. How long and hard that fight will be, we cannot know. But I will help you in every way I can.” His eyes glowed like stars, bright enough to light the darkest night.

Tedros hugged Agatha to his side, wiping her tears.

“But I’m afraid storytime is over,” said Reaper.

Out of the audience, two gnome guards ambushed Sophie, hoisted her off the ground by her hips, and held her upside down— “EEEEEYYIII! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Sophie shrieked.

A gnome whipped off her shoe, pulled the necklace off her toe with its gold vial, and tossed it at Reaper, who caught it, before the guards dumped Sophie on her buttocks.

“I’d say I’m sorry that you were the only one to get wet as you came in,” Reaper said to Sophie, twirling her Dean’s necklace. “But that would be a lie.” Sophie gaped at him, soaked through. “You did it on purpose!” “All hail the king,” Tedros murmured.

The cat pulled open Sophie’s vial and spread the golden liquid into midair, which congealed into the familiar Quest Map, floating over his throne.

Only one name and figurine still remained on the map, positioned over Camelot’s castle, a name Tedros was surprised to see on the Quest Map at all. . . .

RHIAN

“Looks like the king’s still alive, despite your best efforts,” said Reaper. He brought the map down, spreading it in front of him. “Which means whatever we do next . . .” His eyes lifted to his audience.

“It will have to be better.”

THE STUDENTS AND teachers of the School for Good and Evil sat in a circle around the map, which floated in the center above the blue-velvet floor. Reaper paced back and forth across the levitating parchment, pondering everything Sophie, Agatha, and Tedros had just told him.

“So Rhian seeks the powers of the One True King,” the cat said. “How close is he to securing them?” Tedros could hear Yuba whispering to Agatha: “Why would Rhian’s name be on a Dean’s Quest Map? He wasn’t a student at the school!” “I had the same question,” Agatha whispered back. “Speaking of students, how did you get the first years here?” “After the Sheriff took you to Camelot, I received a message from King Teapea,” said Yuba. “I’d never met the new Gnome King, so imagine my surprise! He said we must unite against Rhian and ordered me to bring the teachers and students here, with instructions how to use old Flowerground tunnels to arrive undetected.” Thup. Thup. Thup.

Tedros saw Reaper tapping his claw impatiently.

The prince cleared his throat. “Uh, what was the question?” “How many leaders still possess their rings?” said Reaper, glaring. “Gnomeland never had a ring, since it was a domain of Camelot. And Camelot no longer has a ring, since your father is said to have destroyed it before he died. Which means we need to know how many rings are left that can prevent Rhian from claiming the Storian’s powers.” Tedros and Agatha exchanged glances. “Not sure,” the prince admitted.

“Only one ring needs to survive,” the Sheriff grunted. “All that matters.” Reaper gazed at him thoughtfully. “Indeed.”

Tedros waited for the cat to elaborate, but instead Reaper nibbled on gourmet mushrooms his guards had brought, his eyes still fixed on the Sheriff. Then he began pacing once more.

“To put Tedros back on the throne will be no easy task,” said Reaper, padding past kingdoms on the map. “All of us will have to do our part.” He stopped over the realm of Borna Coric. “Witches?” The coven perked up.

“Yes, Your Highness,” said Hester.

“Give us a mission,” said Anadil.

“Anything you need,” said Dot.

“You’re to go to the Caves of Contempo and rescue Merlin,” Reaper ordered.

“Anything but that,” said Dot.

Hester and Anadil scowled at her.

“It’s thousands of miles away and surrounded by a poisonous sea!” Dot argued. “There’s no way to get to the caves!” “I’ll go,” Tedros declared, puffing his chest. “Merlin is my friend—” “Wait a minute,” said Nicola, locked on Dot. “Aren’t you part of the Coven of Room 66? Witches of legend, who’ve battled undead villains, murderous pirates, and were entrusted by the Dean of Good herself to find a new School Master?” Dot twiddled her thumbs. “Yes, but—”

“Merlin needs your help,” Nicola clapped back. “Merlin, the greatest wizard of Good, who has saved you and your friends many times over. Merlin, who we need to win this war. Reaper could have chosen anyone here to rescue him. He chose you. But if you aren’t up to the task, then maybe you aren’t the witch I thought you were.” Dot was speechless.

“Maybe Nicola should be in our coven,” said Hester.

“I like Nicola,” said Anadil.

“I’ll go,” said Dot.

Tedros sprung to his feet. “Didn’t you hear me? Merlin is too important to leave to anyone but me—” The Sheriff of Nottingham cut him off. “Dot’s right: the Caves of Contempo are no place for three girls to be traveling alone.” “Three girls who’ve thrashed you twice,” said Robin.

“I should be the one to go to the caves,” the Sheriff demanded.

“No,” said Reaper, his eyes cutting through him. “You won’t be going anywhere. You’ll remain here in the palace under my guards’ protection.” He said this so sharply Tedros wondered if Reaper and the Sheriff had a prior encounter: something that made the cat distrust him.

Reaper turned back to Hester. “The witches will travel to Borna Coric and find Merlin.” “And me?” Tedros pressured. “If I’m not going after Merlin, then I should lead the next mission—” “Where are Hort and Nicola?” the cat said.

“Here!” said Hort, clasping Nicola’s hand.

“You two will go to Foxwood, where Rhian claims to be from,” said Reaper. “Find out what you can about him and his brother’s history.” “Consider it done,” Hort said, winking at Nicola. “History’s what I do.” “God help us,” said Nicola.

“Why is your cat ignoring me?” Tedros whispered to Agatha. “I’m the king. I’m the one he’s trying to get back on the throne. And he’s giving key missions to Hort?” But his princess was listening to Reaper detail the next assignment— “Bogden, Willam, you two will disguise yourselves to spy on Camelot. Willam knows the kingdom well, having grown up at its rectory. Use your wiles to discern Rhian’s condition. Find out his next moves.” Bogden saluted him. “Aye-aye, King Pee Pee.”

“Teapea, you dolt!” Willam hissed.

Reaper appraised them, stone-faced. “Beatrix, Reena, Kiko, you’ll patrol the trees around the Gnomeland portal and ensure no one gets too close.” “Fitting, isn’t it?” Kiko sighed. “Tristan died in a tree.” Willam gave her a look.

“Now that you’ve addressed everyone else, including first years and altar boys,” Tedros stewed, “please tell me what—” “As for the remaining students,” said Reaper, pivoting towards the young Evers and Nevers, “you will pair up, disperse throughout the kingdoms, and find those remaining rulers who have yet to burn their rings. Rhian will surely use any means necessary to turn them against the Storian and school. Do what you can to stop the leaders from destroying their rings without them spotting you. The teachers, meanwhile, will return to school and keep watch over the Storian in case it provides any further clues as to how we can defend it. Yuba, send me a secure message as soon as you count how many swans are left in the pen’s carving. Hopefully more than a few kingdoms have held their ground against the king.” “Yes, King Teapea,” said the old gnome.

Reaper surveyed the room. “Everyone understand their assignments?” Tedros was about to explode—

“What would you like me and Gwen to do, Your Highness?” said Robin Hood.

“Return to Sherwood Forest and recruit your Merry Men. Their days of willful blindness are over,” said the cat. “Guinevere will remain under my protection. The guards will take her and the Sheriff to their chambers in my palace so they can rest.” “Rest? Me? Now?” the Sheriff blustered. “I can understand Guinevere needin’ a lie-down, but I should be up there fightin’ the king!” “Me too! Me more!” Tedros burst out—

“All teams will depart at once,” Reaper commanded, ignoring the prince as the map under his paw evaporated. He leapt back onto his throne, dangling Sophie’s necklace. “My page will escort you to the surface in the Sheriff’s sack.” “Samarbati S. Subramanyam at your service!” Subby pipped, poking his ruddy face through the waterfall that curtained the throne room door. “Let’s get ya sacked up!” A gnome guard blew a trumpet next to him so loudly Subramanyam fell back through the waterfall— “The Honorable Crown Royal Regis Teapea hereby dismisses you from his presence!” the gnome proclaimed. “Depart for missions!” “DEPART FOR MISSIONS!” two more guards yelped.

Before Tedros could move, his friends, teachers, mentors, and the whole first-year class bounded up, tittering about their new quests and grabbing at their teammates as they blew past the prince and streamed through the waterfall in groups.

“Wait . . . hold on . . . ,” Tedros stammered, lost in the stampede— “I’m with Priyanka!” Bodhi claimed.

“Can’t leave your best mate for a girl!” Laithan carped.

“It’s like Sophie and Agatha but with boys,” Bossam sniggered.

Castor grabbed all three—“I’LL ASSIGN TEAMS ‘CAUSE I KNOW WHO’S GOT BRAINS AND WHO’S A DONKEY”—before the dog herded more first years into the water and leapt through behind them.

More faculty followed: “Suppose Rhian sends his men to the school again?” Professor Sheeks asked.

“Without the students present, we’ll have full license from the Storian to defend ourselves,” Professor Manley growled. “Uma, any word from the fairies? You sent them to find help days ago.” “Been scouring the Woods for the League of Thirteen,” Princess Uma replied. “Won’t rest until they find one of the old League members who can help. . . .” Hort nudged Beatrix on the way out. “How do we share information while we’re in different places?” “Professor Anemone has Agatha’s old courier crow from Camelot. We can use it to send messages,” said Beatrix.

“Not secure enough,” said Hort. “What we need is a squirrelly nut.” “For all we know, squirrels are on Rhian’s side too,” Kiko pipped.

“What’s a squirrelly nut?” Nicola butted in.

More first years vanished into the waterfall with them—Aja, Valentina, Bossam, Bert, Beckett—with Ravan, Vex, Mona, Dot, Anadil, and others surging through the exit too, until there was no one left in the throne room except the cat king and the three who knew him best: Tedros, his princess, and his nemesis.

The last of the three yawned. “Lovely, everything’s settled,” Sophie sighed against the velvet wall, forcing fireflies to march around her. “I’m going to have a cucumber salad, draw myself a foam bath, and take a long, warm nap.” “That won’t be happening,” said Reaper, slipping Sophie’s necklace around his own neck. “You three have the most difficult assignment of all. That’s why I saved it for when we could be alone. Because it is the ultimate mission. The mission that supersedes all the others. The mission that must be accomplished if Tedros is to reclaim his crown.” Sophie pursed her lips, eyeing Agatha.

But the cat was only looking at the prince.

“You must find out why Excalibur wouldn’t pull out of the stone for you,” he said.

Reaper turned to Agatha and Sophie. “And both of you must help him.” “That isn’t a mission. That’s a dead end,” said Tedros, shaking his head. “I tried to pull the sword. I tried everything. And then a stranger pulls it in one go. I asked Merlin and he didn’t have answers either, except for some crackpot riddle telling me to ‘unbury’ my father. I’ve racked my brain to understand it, any of it, but there’s nothing to understand. Because none of it makes sense! How am I supposed to know what Excalibur was thinking? How am I supposed to learn a sword’s state of mind?” “The same way Merlin and Professor Dovey did before their work was interrupted,” said Reaper.

His eyes glowed—instantly, the bag on Agatha’s shoulder yanked open and the crystal ball flew out, landing snugly in the cat’s paws.

“Because while you were on your fourth-year quests, Merlin and Clarissa Dovey were on a quest of their own,” the cat explained, holding up the glass orb. “Namely, using Dovey’s crystal ball to find out why Tedros failed his coronation test. Turns out breaking a crystal ball allows you to do things that a normal crystal ball does not. A working crystal ball is a window to time. But Merlin and Dovey discovered quite accidentally that a broken crystal ball is more than a window . . .” Reaper leaned forward. “It’s a portal.” “A portal?” Sophie and Agatha said.

“A portal you three will now enter together,” Reaper clarified. “The risks are steep. We’ve seen its effects on Good’s Dean.” He looked at Tedros. “But entering the crystal world is the only way you’ll ever learn the truth about your father, your sword, and your fate.” “What do you mean, ‘crystal world’?” Agatha said, flummoxed. “There’s a world . . . inside the crystal ball?” “A world bigger than you could possibly know,” Reaper said.

Tedros frowned. “This doesn’t make sense. How do you know what’s inside Dovey’s crystal?” “How do you know what Merlin and Dovey saw?” Sophie asked.

“How could you know what they saw?” Agatha pressed.

Reaper grinned. “Isn’t it obvious?” he said, his voice a teasing drawl.

The cat’s pupils deepened like black holes.

“I went with them.”