فصل 31

CHAPTER 31

ELOISE HELPED ME PULL MYSELF together, and I looked nothing short of magnificent when I walked down to Henri’s room. Just as I’d done when I thought I’d end up with Kile, I reminded myself that this wasn’t a bad choice. Henri would be devoted and kind, and while our means of communication might be unconventional for a while, it didn’t mean that our life together wouldn’t be a happy one.

His butler answered the door and kindly ushered me in. Henri was at his table with books opened and a pitcher of tea at his disposal. He stood when he saw me, bowing in a way that could only be described as joyful.

“Hello today!”

I giggled, walking over with the wide wooden box in my arms. “Hello, Henri.” I set it down on his table and hugged him, and he brightened at my affection. “What’s all this?” I touched his books, taking in the pages. Of course, even if he had no help, he was studying his English. He grabbed at a notebook and held it up, pointing.

“I write for you. I can read, yes?”

“Oh, yes, please.”

“Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath and smiled as he held up his papers. “’Dear Eadlyn. I know I cannot be saying, but I am thinking of you each days. My words are no good yet, but my heart,’” he said, touching his chest, “’feels what I cannot saying. Even in Finnish, I would say them bad.’” He laughed at himself and shrugged, and I smiled.

“’You have beautiful, talent, smartness, and are nice. I hope to showing you how good I think of you. Also, more kissing.’” I couldn’t not laugh, and he was so happy to see me in good spirits, he looked like he might burst from it.

“Still working,” he said, sitting the notebook down. “Um, I getting Erik?” “No,” I said. “Just you.”

He looked nervous at trying to communicate with me on his own. But even this was better than we’d ever done before. He nodded, rubbing his hands together to get out some of his nervous energy.

“Henri, you like me, yes?”

He nodded. “Yes. Like you.”

“I like you, too.”

He smiled. “Good!”

And again I found myself laughing. See, Eadlyn, this would be fine.

“Henri . . . Henri, would you marry me?”

He squinted for a moment before his eyes widened in surprise.

“I marry you?”

“Yes, if you would like to.”

He stepped back, smiling as always, but there was something in his expression I couldn’t name. Disbelief? Doubt? But after a flicker of a second, it disappeared.

“Wait, wait.” He dropped to his knees, clutching both of my hands. “You will marry me?” “Yes.”

He laughed and went to kissing my hands over and over, finally stopping and staring at them for a while, like he couldn’t believe he was going to hold them for the rest of his life.

“Come here,” I said, urging him to stand.

He embraced me, holding me tight. And as sweet as all this was, I was fighting the urge to cry again.

“You have to give me a ring,” I said, and opened the box on the table, taking in Henri’s audible gasp.

Set in the blue velvet were twenty-five different engagement rings, ranging in size and color but all befitting a queen.

He stared at them a second before turning to me. “I pick for you?” “Yes.”

He made a face, a little overwhelmed with his options. Henri ran his finger over the dreamy combinations of garnet and amethyst and lingered over the diamonds so flat and wide, you could go ice-skating on them. But then he found a large pearl, set in a blushing rose gold and surrounded by a string of diamonds. He held it up to his face and nodded.

“For you.”

I held out my left hand, and he slipped on the massive, gorgeous ring.

“Good, good?” he asked.

That was what I would have to be satisfied with. Not perfect. Not blissful. But good. And, for me, after every mistake I’d made along the way, that should certainly be enough.

I smiled. “Good, good.”

“You got a delivery,” Eloise announced.

I looked at the package, not sure what it was, as I hadn’t been expecting anything. I set the box of rings beside it, fanning out my fingers.

“What do you think?” I asked.

Eloise’s eyes widened. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” “Well, they made twenty-five different rings for this, all one of a kind. A bit over the top, but I’m glad this one was in there. Easily one of my favorites.” “It looks beautiful on you, miss.” She smiled at me. “Is there anything else you need or would you rather be alone?” “Alone for now, I think.”

“Excellent. Call when you’re ready for dinner, and I’ll be right up.” I nodded, and she disappeared around the door, the hem of her dress hitting it as she left.

I never should have doubted Neena.

I gripped the back of the chair at my table, trying to take things one breath at a time. I’d nearly lost so much, but I had to remember how much I’d gained. I was queen, and I was engaged. I’d finally learned what it was to see other people and what it meant to let other people see me. I still had so much to accomplish, so many things I wanted to do for my family and for my people. I hoped I’d firmly settled myself in a place where I could do that.

Sighing, I curiously unwrapped the thin box in front of me. I slid off the lid and gasped.

Staring back at me was a beautiful image of my family on coronation day. Osten looked like he was plotting something mischievous as always, and Ahren was so handsome. All Kaden needed was a sword in his hand, and the image of a perfectly gallant prince would have been complete. I flipped to the next picture, and we were there again in a slightly different pose. I tore through the box, taking in shot after shot, beaming with happiness. Lady Brice clenched me in a hug, Kile laughed as he cradled me in his arms, and the Legers stood with a hand on each of my shoulders as if I really was their daughter.

These moments felt so far away now. It was almost as if I was looking at another girl in all these photos. A little time and hope was all it took to change a person.

When I got to the pictures with Eikko, they stood in stark contrast to all the others. I’d taken off my cape and he was in his vest, and I realized that I had subconsciously posed us like two people in love. My hand rested on his chest as he held onto my waist, and my head was tilted slightly toward him, like his heart had a gravitational pull.

I stared at my favorite picture for a very long time, thinking how amazing it was that the photographer had captured the light in his eyes. Just hours after this was taken, I’d stared into those eyes, been held by those arms. How remarkable was it that I had this picture at all? Had it not been for the others, he might not have even walked over with me, whispering Finnish in my ear. I told myself that I’d been lucky we met in the first place. Had I fought my parents, had Henri not been brave enough to apply, had I moved my hand two inches to the right when I pulled out his envelope . . .

I took the photo and walked over to the drawer where I’d been hiding my treasures. I smiled, looking down at my little collection and remembering the past two months with a sense of gratitude.

Henri’s shirt that he made into an apron. Kile’s hideous tie that prevented world peace. Hale’s pin, stabbed through a scrap a fabric, reminding me to keep it together. Fox’s embarrassing stick-figure drawing. Gunner’s poem that I really didn’t even need on paper because I couldn’t forget it if I tried. These were the things I’d saved.

I stood there, the photo hovering above the drawer. As much of a treasure as this picture was, I couldn’t drop it in. There was no way I could put my Eikko in a box.