فصل 18

Chapter 18

THE DAY AFTER NICOLETTA AND Georgia left, I caught myself looking over my shoulder a lot. I was sure someone knew what I’d said, what I’d handed over to the rebels in a brief afternoon. I kept reminding myself that if anyone had overheard, I certainly would have been arrested by now. Seeing as I was still enjoying a wonderful breakfast with the other Elite and the royal family, I had to believe that everything was fine. Besides, Maxon would defend me if he had to.

After breakfast, I went back to my room to touch up my makeup. While I was in the bathroom, sweeping on another layer of lipstick, a knock sounded at the door. It was just Lucy and me, and she went to see who it was while I finished up. A minute later she popped her head around the corner.

“It’s Prince Maxon,” she whispered.

I whipped my head around. “He’s here?”

She nodded, beaming. “He remembered my name.”

“Of course he did,” I replied with a smile. I put everything down and ran my fingers through my hair. “Lead me out, then leave quietly.” “As you wish, miss.”

Maxon was standing tentatively by the door, uncharacteristically waiting for an invitation to enter. He held a small, thin box, and he drummed his fingers against it, fidgeting. “Sorry to interrupt. I was wondering if I could have a moment.” “Of course,” I said, walking over. “Please come in.” Maxon and I perched on the edge of my bed.

“I wanted to see you first,” he said, getting situated. “I wanted to explain before the others came in bragging.” Explain? For some reason his words put me on edge. If the others were bragging, I was about to be excluded from something.

“What do you mean?” I realized I was biting my freshly glossed lip.

Maxon passed the box over to me. “I’ll clarify, I promise. But first, this is for you.” I took the box and unhooked a small button in the front so I could open it. I think I inhaled every millimeter of air in the room.

Resting inside the box were a breathtaking set of earrings and matching bracelet. They coordinated beautifully, with blue and green gems woven into a subtle floral design.

“Maxon, I love it, but I can’t possibly take this. It’s too … too …”

“On the contrary, you must take them. It’s a gift, and it’s tradition that you wear them in the Convicting.” “The what?”

He shook his head. “Silvia will explain all that; but the point is, it’s tradition for the prince to present the Elite with jewelry and for them to wear the pieces to the ceremony. There will be quite a few officials there, and you need to look your best. And unlike the things you’ve been presented with so far, these are all real and yours to keep.” I smiled. Of course we wouldn’t have been given real jewelry to wear until now. I wondered how many girls had taken things home, thinking that if they hadn’t gotten Maxon, at least they got a few thousand in jewelry.

“They’re wonderful, Maxon. Just my taste. Thank you.”

Maxon raised a finger. “You’re welcome, and that’s part of what I wanted to discuss. I chose the gifts for each of you personally and intended that they should all be equal. However, you prefer to wear the necklace from your father, and I’m sure it would be a comfort to you in the middle of something as big as the Convicting. So, while the others got necklaces, you have a bracelet.” He reached over to my hand and lifted it. “And I see you’re attached to your little button, and I’m glad you still like the bracelet I brought back from New Asia, but they really aren’t appropriate. Try this on so we can see how it rests.” I took off Maxon’s bracelet and set it on the edge of my nightstand. But I took Aspen’s button and set it in my jar with its single penny. It seemed like it should be there for now.

I turned back and caught Maxon staring at the jar, something hard in his eyes. It disappeared swiftly enough, and he went to removing the bracelet from the box. His fingers tickled my skin, and when he moved away, I nearly gasped again at how beautiful his gift was.

“It really is perfect, Maxon.”

“I hoped you’d think so. But that is precisely why I needed to talk to you. I set out to spend the same amount on all of you. I wanted to be fair.” I nodded. That sounded reasonable.

“The problem with that being, your tastes are much simpler than the others. And you have a bracelet as opposed to a necklace. I ended up spending half as much on you as the rest, and I wanted you to know that before you saw what I gave them. And I wanted you to know that it came from wanting to give you what I felt you would like the best, not because of your place or anything like that.” Maxon’s face was so sincere.

“Thank you, Maxon. I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” I said, placing a hand on his arm.

As always, he seemed so happy to be touched. “I suspected as much. Though thank you for saying so. I was afraid I might hurt you.” “Not at all.”

Maxon’s smile grew. “Of course, I still wanted to be fair, so I had a thought.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin envelope. “Perhaps you would like to send the difference to your family.” I stared at the envelope. “Are you serious?”

“Of course. I want to be impartial, and I thought this would be the best way to handle the discrepancy. And I hoped it would make you happy.” He placed the envelope in my hands, and I took it, still shocked.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. But sometimes it’s about what you want to do, not what you have to.” Our eyes met, and I realized that he did a lot for me out of simply wanting to. Giving me pants when I wasn’t allowed to wear them, bringing me a bracelet from the other side of the world … Surely he loved me. Right? Why wouldn’t he just say it?

We’re alone, Maxon. If you say it, I’ll say it back.

Nothing.

“I don’t know how to thank you for this, Maxon.”

He smiled. “Hearing you say it is nice.” He cleared his throat. “I’m always interested in hearing how you feel.” Oh, no. Nope. I was not putting it out there first.

“Well, I’m very grateful. As always.”

Maxon sighed. “I’m happy you like it.” Unsatisfied, he took to watching the carpet. “I need to go. I still have to deliver the gifts to the others.” We stood together, and I escorted him to the door. As he left, he turned and kissed my hand. With a friendly nod of his head, he disappeared around the corner to visit the others.

I walked back to the bed and looked again at my gifts. I couldn’t believe that something this beautiful was mine to keep, forever. I vowed to myself that, even if I went home and all the money ran out and my family was absolutely destitute, I would never sell these or give them away, or the bracelet he’d gotten me in New Asia. I would hold on to them no matter what.

“The Convicting is simple enough,” Silvia said to us the next afternoon as we followed her to the Great Room. “It’s one of those things that sounds much more challenging than it is, but above all it’s symbolic.

“It will be a grand event. There will be several magistrates here, not to mention the extended members of the royal family, and enough cameras to make your heads spin,” Silvia barked over her shoulder.

So far this was sounding anything but simple. We rounded the corner, and Silvia flung open the doors to the Great Room. In the middle of the space was Queen Amberly herself, giving instructions to men setting up rows of stadium seats. In another corner, someone was debating which carpet to roll out, and two florists were discussing which blossoms would be most appropriate. They apparently didn’t think the Christmas decorations should stay. So much was happening, I almost forgot Christmas was coming at all.

Toward the back of the room a stage was set up with stairs across the front of it, and three massive thrones were centered on the platform. To our right were four small stages with lone seats on them, looking beautiful but also very isolating. Those alone were enough to decorate the room, and I couldn’t imagine how it would look once everything was in place.

“Your Majesty,” Silvia said with a curtsy, and we all followed suit. The queen walked over to us, her face lit up with a smile.

“Hello, ladies,” she said. “Silvia, how far have you gotten?”

“Not far at all, Majesty.”

“Excellent. Ladies, let me enlighten you about your next task in the Selection process.” She motioned for us to follow her inside the Great Room. “The Convicting is meant to be a symbol of your submission to the law. One of you will become the new princess, and someday queen. The law is how we live, and it will be your duty not only to live by it but to uphold it. And so,” she said, stopping and facing us, “you will start with the Convicting.

“A man who has committed a crime, most likely a theft, will be brought in. These are cases that are worthy of a whipping, but these men will spend time in jail instead. And you will send them there.” The queen smiled at our bewildered expressions. “I know it sounds harsh, but it’s not. These men have each committed a crime, and instead of facing the difficulties of a physical punishment, they’ll be paying their debts with time. You’ve seen firsthand how painful a caning can be. Being whipped isn’t much better. You’re doing them a favor,” she said encouragingly.

I still didn’t feel good about it.

Those who stole were penniless. Twos and Threes who broke laws paid their way out of punishment with money. The poor paid their way in flesh or time. I remembered Jemmy, Aspen’s younger brother, leaning over a block while men took a handful of food out of his back in lashes. While I hated that, it was better than locking him away. The Legers needed him to work, young as he was, and it seemed that once you got above a Five, people forgot that.

Silvia and Queen Amberly walked us through the ceremony over and over until our lines were perfect. I tried to deliver mine with the grace that Elise or Kriss had, but they came out sounding flat every time.

I did not want to put a man in jail.

When we were dismissed, the other girls headed to the door together, but I went to the queen. She was finishing a conversation with Silvia. I should have used that time to come up with something more eloquent. Instead, when Silvia walked away and the queen addressed me, I just blurted it out.

“Please don’t make me do this,” I pleaded.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I can submit to the law, I swear. It’s not that I’m trying to be difficult, but I can’t put a man in jail. He didn’t do anything to me.” Her expression was kind as she reached to touch my face. “But he did, dear girl. If you became the princess, you’d be the embodiment of the law. When someone breaks the smallest rule, they stab you. The only way to keep from bleeding out is to take a stand against those who have already harmed you so that others will not be so brazen.” “But I’m not the princess!” I implored. “No one’s hurting me.”

She smiled and lowered her head to mine, whispering, “You’re not the princess today, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that was a temporary issue.” Queen Amberly stepped back and winked.

I sighed, getting desperate. “Bring me someone else. Not some petty thief who probably only stole because they were hungry.” Her face stiffened. “I’m not suggesting it’s okay to steal. I know it’s not. But bring me someone who did something really bad. Bring me the person who killed the guard that got Maxon and me into a safe room the last time the rebels came. That person should be locked up forever. And I’ll say that happily. But I can’t do this to some hungry Seven. I can’t.” I could see she wanted to be gentle with me, but I could also see she wouldn’t budge on this. “Allow me to be very blunt with you, Lady America. Of all the girls, you need to do this the most. People have seen you run to stop a caning, suggest undoing the castes on national television, and encourage people to fight when their lives are in serious danger.” Her kind face was serious. “I’m not saying those were bad things, but they have given most people the impression that you run wild.” I fidgeted with my hands, knowing this was going to end with me doing the Convicting no matter what I said.

“If you want to stay, if you care about Maxon”—she paused, giving me a moment to consider—“then you need to do this. You need to show you have the ability to be obedient.” “I do. I just don’t want to put someone in jail. That’s not a princess’s job. Magistrates do that.” Queen Amberly patted my shoulder. “You can do it. And you will. If you want Maxon at all, you need to be perfect. I’m sure you understand that there’s opposition where you’re concerned.” I nodded.

“Then do it.”

She walked away, leaving me alone in the Great Room. I went up to my seat, practically a throne itself, and mumbled the lines again. I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t a big deal. People broke laws and went to jail all the time. It was one person out of thousands. And I needed to be perfect.

Perfect was my only option.