فصل سی و هشتم

Chapter 38

Bradley Chalkers

Homework

Book Report

My Parents Didn’t

Steal an Elephant

By Uriah C. Lasso

Mrs. Ebbel’s class

Room 12

Red Hill School

Last seat, last row

Next to Jeff

My Parents Didn’t Steal an Elephant

by

Uriah C. Lasso

by

Bradley Chalkers

My Parents Didn’t Steal an Elephant was a very funny and crazy book by Uriah C. Lasso, a funny author to write such a book. It is a story told by a kid. The kid’s parents are in jail because they stole an elephant, except they are innocent. Hey! I just realized something. You know what? You never know the kid’s name! I just realized that. You know what else too? You don’t know if the kid is a boy or a girl! I just realized that right now as I was writing this book report because I didn’t know whether to write he or she. I told you it was crazy!

The kid lives with his aunt and uncle. They’re crazy too. They put wallpaper up in the garage for no reason. I told you they were crazy.

Ace is crazy too. He’s the lawyer for the kid’s parents. He makes the kid practice crying for an hour every day so the kid will be able to cry good in court. Only when the kid finally gets to court, the kid doesn’t cry. The kid laughs!

Then everybody else laughs too. Then the kid’s parents get to go home because they’re innocent.

Except, do you want to know something? I’m not so sure! I mean, if they really were really innocent, then who ate all the peanuts?

I told you it was crazy. The end.

The End

“Absolutely wonderful!” said Carla.

“Is it good?” asked Bradley.

“You captured the very essence of the book.” He smiled even though he didn’t know what essence meant.

They were sitting around the round table. It was Thursday before school. Bradley had to turn in his book report to Mrs. Ebbel, but he wanted Carla to see it first, just in case he ripped it up.

Carla was wearing a fluffy pink sweater. “I always wondered what happened to the peanuts too,” she said.

“Me too,” said Bradley. “And they could have hid the elephant in the garage. That’s why they put wallpaper there. To cover up the fingerprints!” “Do elephants have fingerprints?” asked Carla.

“Maybe they have trunk prints.” He laughed. “Well, I have to go to Mrs. Ebbel’s class. Here’s your book back. Thank you. I didn’t write on it or spill food or anything.” “I’d like for you to keep it,” said Carla. “It’s my present to you.” “But I thought it was one of your favorite books?” “It is. That’s why I want to give it to you. If I didn’t like it, then it wouldn’t be much of a present, would it?” He smiled. “I wish I had a present to give you,” he said.

“You already gave me one.”

“I did? What was it?”

“The book report.”

The smile left his face.

“What’s the matter?”

“Well, I’m supposed to give it to Mrs. Ebbel, but … that’s okay! You can have it. It wouldn’t be much of a present if I didn’t want it too.” Carla laughed and shook her head. “That’s very sweet, Bradley, but that’s not what I meant. I want you to give it to Mrs. Ebbel. It just makes me very happy that you did such a wonderful job. That’s the present you gave me.” “Really?”

“Really,” said Carla. “It was the best present I could have gotten.” He thought that was great. He was able to give it to Carla and still give it to Mrs. Ebbel. “What’s wrong?” Carla wiped her eyes. The corners of her mouth trembled.

“Are you crying?” he asked.

“Bradley, I have something I have to tell you,” she said. “I hope you can listen to what I have to say without feeling scared or upset.” He suddenly felt very scared and upset.

“Tomorrow will be my last day here at Red Hill School.” “Huh?”

“That’s why I’m so glad you’ve written such a wonderful book report. I know you can continue to do good work without me. I’m very proud of you.” “You’re leaving?”

She nodded. “I’ve been transferred. I’ll be teaching kindergarten at Willow Bend School. But I want to thank you, Bradley. You’ve made my short time here very special. I’m so glad we got to know each other.” “You’re leaving?”

“We can still see each other,” she said. “Saturday, I’m—” He shook his head. “No, you can’t go. It’s not fair.” “I have to.”

He couldn’t believe it. “What if I don’t do my homework? Then you’ll have to stay and make me want to do it again.” She smiled warmly at him. Her blue eyes glistened. “You’re on your own now, Bradley. I know you’ll do wonderfully!” “No! It’s not fair!” He stood up. “You tricked me!” Carla stood too. She walked around the table toward him.

“I hate you!” he shouted in her face.

“I know you don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. I hate your stupid book, too!” He picked up My Parents Didn’t Steal an Elephant by Uriah C. Lasso and threw it at her. Then he picked up his book report.

“Bradley, please—”

He ripped it in half. He stretched his mouth so wide it was hard to tell whether it was a smile or a frown.

He tore his book report again and dropped the pieces on the floor. “I hate you!” he shouted, then ran out of her office.

He ran into the boys’ bathroom. He leaned over the sink and cried. His face throbbed as he watched the water wash down the drain.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Bradley?” said Carla. “Are you all right?” “Go away!” he yelled. “I hate you!”

The door slowly opened and she stepped inside.

“You’re not allowed in here,” he said.

“I think it’s important that we talk,” said Carla. “That’s how friends handle their problems, by talking about them. That’s why we’ve become such good friends, because we’ve learned to talk to each other.” “I’m not your friend. Why would I want to be friends with you? I hate you!” “I like you, Bradley. I can like you, can’t I? You don’t have to like me.” “I’m not going to Colleen’s birthday party,” he said. “And I don’t like Jeff, either, and I’m never going to do my homework, ever, and I’m going to fail all my tests.” “Do you want to know what I think? I think you’re worried that now that I’m leaving, everything will turn bad again. You think that Jeff won’t like you anymore and Colleen won’t want you to come to her party, and Mrs. Ebbel will give you bad grades no matter how hard you try.” “This is the boys’ bathroom!”

“But it wasn’t me who magically changed your life, Bradley,” she said. “It was you. You’re not Cinderella, and I’m not Prince Charming.” “You’re not allowed in here,” he said coldly.

“Saturday, I’m going to need someone to help me move all my things out of the office,” she said. “I would appreciate it very much if you would come and help me. Then afterward, we could have lunch together. We can go to a restaurant, just the two of us.” He wanted to go to her, to hug her in her soft pink sweater, but he couldn’t. He felt like his insides were being ripped apart.

“It will be lots of fun,” said Carla. “And it would be a great help to me.” “I have to use the toilet.”

“Maybe I’ll see you on Saturday,” said Carla. “I would like that very much.” She turned and walked out the door.

Bradley stayed in the bathroom until the bell rang, then he went home, sick.