فصل 55

55

Scarlett

Scarlett wondered if the Assassin always kept his face shadowed by his woolen cloak and hood. It was unnerving not to see the person who’d whisked her back in time. But it was too late for Scarlett to worry about that, or any of the decisions that had led her into this ice-covered alley from years long since passed, with a Fate who possessed a reputation for madness.

“Put this on.” He shoved a dress into her hands, then gave her a heavy raspberry-red coat lined in thick gold fur. It went down to her knees, giving a bold glimpse of the dress’s striking black-and-white diamond pattern.

“Shouldn’t I be trying to blend in?” Scarlett asked.

“You will.” The Assassin inclined his hood toward one end of the alley, which appeared to lead to the Satine District. It was just as fancy as in the present day and full of people to match. Everyone who passed the alley wore vibrant coats lined in dyed furs. Some even carried fur parasols that looked as if they’d been made from leopard pelts.

“It’s going to start snowing,” the Assassin grunted. “As soon as it does, your mother will walk by on that sidewalk. Follow her and steal her clothes, but whatever you do, do not change the past. Today she’s learned that she’s pregnant with you. You cannot mistakenly prevent yourself from being conceived, but if you alter the past, other parts of your world might be undone.” “Like my sister’s birth?”

“Yes. Be careful, princess. Follow your mother and observe her until you’re able to steal the dress you need to deceive Gavriel. Then leave as quickly as you can. I’ll be waiting for you beneath the broken lamppost.” There was a tiny scratching sound and then the Assassin was gone.

Scarlett hurried to put on the clothes he’d given her. Her scorched shoulders burned whenever fabric touched them, but the cold air and the rush of time travel had dulled much of the pain.

The first snowflake fell a moment later and Scarlett started toward the mouth of the alley, where icy bricks turned into neat lanes covered in crisp flakes of white that glinted like the start of something new, something that she hoped would be quick and simple.

When she’d first proposed the idea, she’d imagined going back in time to spy on her mother and steal a dress from her would be like when she was very young and she would sneak into her mother’s closet to try on her fancy lace slips—a little risky, but not in a way that could cause real damage. Scarlett wasn’t going to change the past. She was just going to observe her mother, take one of her gowns, and maybe a bit of her perfume along with it. But that was it.

The hard part was supposed to be convincing her father she was the Paradise of the past once Scarlett returned. Seeing her mother walk down the snow-covered street was not supposed shake Scarlett’s world, or make her forget how to breathe. If anything, seeing her mother as Paradise the criminal was supposed to ease some of the guilt that Scarlett had been carrying around.

But as Scarlett followed her mother down the street, for the first time Scarlett saw her not as she’d been in Scarlett’s memories or imaginings. Scarlett saw Paradise as the woman who Tella had always believed her to be.

Paradise glided over the street in a skirt that was such a pure shade of white it made the freshly fallen snow look gray. She smiled at everyone she passed, tipping her head and making her red feathered hat bob. These people must not have known she was a criminal, or they all liked her so much that the ones who did know kept her secret. She looked the way Love might have looked if Love looked in a mirror, infectiously happy and radiantly beautiful.

She skipped inside a fanciful dress shop with a pretty purple awning, and Scarlett didn’t even think before following her. There was a display of imported hats in the corner and Scarlett darted right to them, hoping to hide from anyone’s notice. Not that she needed to worry. The eyes of the women in the shop went directly to Paradise. There were only three of them, but Paradise commanded their attention like a queen ruling over her subjects.

The lady setting up a display of ribbons dropped a spool. A plump woman who’d been about to step into the back snapped around. And the young girl who’d been spinning in front of a mirror froze.

“Hello, Minerva,” Paradise called to the plump one who’d been about to leave. “Is my order ready?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about, darling.”

“Yes, you do. Gavriel ordered a dress for me. It’s supposed to be a surprise, but I found out about it, so I plan to surprise him instead.” Paradise clutched her chest dramatically, reminding Scarlett a bit of Tella. “I’m going to wear it tonight and ask Gavriel to marry me.” “You’re asking a man to marry you?” cried the girl who’d been spinning. “That’s forward.” “I’d rather be forward than backward.” Paradise spoke far faster than Scarlett, as if she wanted to cram as much as possible into every moment of life, an observation that Scarlett tucked away for her performance. “In my line of work, life is often very short, so I don’t want to waste any of it waiting for a question that I could easily ask myself. I’m also rather certain he’s going to say yes.” She winked.

Even from Scarlett’s position behind the hats she could see the head of the young twirling girl exploding with thoughts. Her brief conversation with Paradise had just splintered the way she viewed the world, opening up a door that the girl hadn’t even known existed.

“But,” Paradise added, “if he’s afraid of marriage, or of me, I’ll know it’s time to move on.” “To Marcello Dragna?” said the lady with the ribbons. “He’s very handsome and rich.” “Then you should marry him.” Paradise laughed. “He’d probably be much happier with you than he’d be with me. Marcello only thinks he could handle me. I believe he wants to tame me, like a caged tiger at a circus, so he can show off to his friends.” “That sounds sort of like what you’re trying to do with Gavriel,” mused Minerva.

“No, I like Gavriel outside of his cage, and I don’t have any friends to show off to, except for you, Minerva.” Minerva muttered something too low for Scarlett to hear before slipping back into the door she’d been about to go through as Paradise had entered. A moment later she reappeared with a creation in her hands that was far too extravagant to be called a gown. It was a riot of cream and black and rose and pink with splashes of flowers and lace and stray gold leaf. Long sleeves attached to a decorative bodice that was fitted through the hips, until the skirt flared out in ruffled tiers that ended in a train of gold and rose flowers with lacy black leaves.

It didn’t look like Scarlett’s idea of love, but she could see how it could have been her mother’s, and Gavriel’s.

Paradise gasped. “It’s sublime.”

“Each of these layers can be easily removed with a quick tug, if you need to run.” “Or if I want to have some fun with Gavriel,” chimed Paradise.

The twirling girl turned red as berries, the lady with the ribbons broke out in a laugh, but Minerva didn’t crack a smile. She looked as wary as Scarlett was feeling.

Scarlett knew her mother went on to marry Marcello Dragna, not Gavriel. But the entire exchange still left Scarlett with a deep, heavy feeling of dread as the conversation between the women ended. The ill feeling remained with Scarlett as she followed Paradise from the dress shop back into another icy alley.

Scarlett had no love for Marcello, but as much as Scarlett hated him, if Paradise never married him, then Tella would never be born. Scarlett quickened her steps as her mother disappeared around the corner.

Scarlett knew she wasn’t supposed to interfere. The Assassin had warned her not to change— Her back slammed against a brick wall of a dead-end street, as Paradise placed a knife to Scarlett’s throat.

She fought to take a ragged breath. Seeing Paradise like this was like peering in a threatening mirror. This was the mother Scarlett had originally expected to meet. But she couldn’t feel triumphant about it; if this encounter went the wrong way it could destroy the entire future Scarlett knew, or end Scarlett’s life.

“What’s a pretty little girl like you doing following—” Paradise cut off abruptly. She must have seen the resemblance as well, though her response was to hold the blade closer to Scarlett’s throat.

“Who are you? Why are you trying to look like me?” She spoke even faster than she had in the shop. “Tell me in the next ten seconds or I’ll slit your throat and walk away before your body hits the snow. One. Two. Three.” “I’m not here to hurt you,” Scarlett said.

“Not the right answer.” Paradise flashed a vicious grin. “Four. Five.”

“I’m here because your family is in danger.”

“Don’t have a family,” she sang. “Seven. Eight.”

“Yes, you do, in the future.”

Paradise didn’t even bother to respond to this claim. “Nine.”

“You have a daughter,” Scarlett said. “You’re pregnant with her right now!”

Paradise stopped counting.

“How did you know that? I’ve only told one person that, and he wouldn’t say a word.” Her eyes narrowed on Scarlett and then went wide. “Where did you get those earrings?” She dropped the box she’d been holding and touched her own ears, where a matching pair of jeweled baubles rested.

“They were from you,” Scarlett said. “You told me my father gave them to you because scarlet was your favorite color. It’s also what you named me.” Paradise stumbled back, but continued to hold out the knife. Gray mist swirled around her; she was confused but no longer feeling hostile, though on the outside she kept her expression severe.

“You also change your name to Paloma,” Scarlett said. “You leave this identity and turn into something close to a legend.” This made a hint of her grin return, but it didn’t meet her eyes the way Scarlett’s grins always did. “All right, say I do believe you, why are you here?” To save the world. To stop a monster. To see you. “I’m only here to steal a dress.” Paradise laughed, softening a little more. “Then you’re a terrible thief. I must not have raised you very well.” Scarlett was tempted to tell her the truth, to tell Paradise that she’d been a dreadful mother, that she’d left when her daughters had needed her most and she hadn’t come back. But Paradise wasn’t that woman yet, and Scarlett wondered if maybe she’d never actually been that woman.

Somewhere along the way Scarlett had come to believe her mother didn’t love her, or really love anyone. If she’d loved her daughters she wouldn’t have left them or hurt them—people didn’t hurt the ones they loved. But until Scarlett had appeared, her mother had been bursting with love. She’d been full of so much love she was going to ask a man to marry her. But she didn’t. In Scarlett’s world she went on to betray him instead, and Scarlett wondered if Paradise did all of this because Paradise loved her.

Even now Scarlett could see the love taking over Paradise’s emotions as her eyes continued to dart from her earrings to Scarlett’s face. In this timeline they’d only just met, but Paradise was already choosing to love Scarlett.

Scarlett could scarcely comprehend it. Whenever she loved, she loved fiercely, but it never came this easily, and she wouldn’t have expected it to come so effortlessly to Paradise.

Clearly, Scarlett had never really known her mother. But there were a few things she did know about her.

“You were the best mother you could be,” Scarlett said. “You sacrificed everything for my sister and me.” “You have a sister?” Paradise’s entire face lit up, making her look even more magnetic, and Scarlett wished Tella could have seen how happy their mother was to hear she was having a second daughter. “I can’t wait to tell your father about this.” “No! You can’t tell him. Whatever you do, don’t tell him.” Again, Scarlett almost left it at that. The Assassin had warned her not to interfere with the past, but maybe Scarlett had been part of the past all along. Maybe she wasn’t just here to steal a dress, or to see a mother she’d never understood. Maybe Scarlett was here to help make sure her mother made some of those choices Scarlett had never understood. Because she understood them now.

If Paradise married Gavriel and raised Scarlett with him, the future would change—Tella would never be born, and there was a good chance that all the Fates would be freed from the cards very soon.

“Gavriel is not what you think he is,” Scarlett said.

Paradise took a harsh step back, some of the sharp edges returning to her expression.

But Scarlett didn’t stop; either she was wrong and she’d already changed the future irreparably, or she was right and she needed to press forward, to stop her mother from making an irreversible mistake.

“I don’t know how much I’m supposed to tell you, or if I’m supposed to be saying any of this. But you don’t marry Gavriel. He’s not the father of your second child. Gavriel is a Fate. He’s the Fallen Star and he was trapped inside the Deck of Destiny that you stole from Empress Elantine. He wants to find the deck again so he can free all the Fates and take over the empire. You stop him from doing this—you trap him in a card again. But then you still have to hide, because his church—the Church of the Fallen Star—comes after you for running with the cards. So you marry Marcello Dragna and go away with him.” Paradise laughed, but it held none of the amusement of her earlier laugh. “No, I would never marry Marcello.” “But you do,” Scarlett said. And it struck her that out of all the impossible things she’d just shared, this was the one Paradise remarked on. It made Scarlett wonder if deep down her mother was already aware of Gavriel’s true goals and identity.

Scarlett tried to read her mother’s colors. There were competing emotions warring each other, but Scarlett could see that Paradise was in love and uncertain, and despite her calm exterior, she was terrified of what Scarlett had just said.

“I’m sorry,” Scarlett said.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I know you love him.”

“Criminals don’t love.”

“If that were true, I don’t think I would be here. But I am. I’m here because you did whatever it took to take care of me—the daughter you’re pregnant with right now. That’s part of what makes you so remarkable. You leave Valenda, but people still tell stories about you. Even Empress Elantine talked about you before she died. She told my sister that when you loved, you did it as fiercely as you lived. You were willing to do whatever it took to protect the ones you love, even if it hurt you or them in the process.” And Scarlett realized then—she was the exact same. Everything she’d just said would cause Paradise and Tella and herself a world of pain. But if Paradise took a different course, then the future would change; everything Scarlett cared about might be lost and the Fallen Star might never be defeated.

Paradise was shaking her head, as if she could clear her muddled emotions. “And I thought you were just here to steal a dress.” “Like you said, I’m not a very good thief.”

“I might have been wrong.” Paradise reached down, picked up her box from the dress shop, and held it out to Scarlett. “Take it, you earned it with your story.” “Does this mean you believe me?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think I’ll be getting engaged tonight,” Paradise said, careless and flippant. She sounded a lot like Tella when Tella was pretending not to feel.

“I’m sorry,” Scarlett said.

“You don’t need to keep apologizing. But there is one thing you could do for me.” Paradise gave Scarlett a trembling smile. “Put the dress on. I didn’t get to try it on today, and I want to know if it would have looked as fabulous as I’m imagining. I’ll watch the other alley to make sure no one unwanted pops in.” Paradise darted around the corner.

Scarlett wanted to protest; she didn’t feel like stripping in a frozen alley once again. But after all she’d told Paradise, this was the least Scarlett could do for her. It was the last thing her mother would ever ask of her. And it turned out to be the last thing her mother would ever say to her, as well.

When Scarlett finished dressing and turned the corner, Paradise was gone.

Scarlett picked up the bottom of her new dress and ran to the end of the alley, hoping to catch her mother. She looked up and down the street at all the people in their bright coats walking through the falling snow. If Paradise was among them, Scarlett didn’t see her. All she found was a broken lamppost and a dropped knife.

Her mother had left again. Scarlett couldn’t be surprised, and she didn’t let herself feel hurt, not this time. Paradise might have been her mother, but she was also just a pregnant girl who’d been told she’d have to make a terrible choice. Scarlett couldn’t blame her for running, and maybe Scarlett shouldn’t have blamed her so much before. Scarlett loved Tella and Julian despite their imperfections; it was time to start loving her mother the same way.

And when the Assassin appeared an instant later, Scarlett imagined that this was how it was meant to be all along, and that her mother really had done the best she could. She might have run away from Scarlett just now, but Scarlett believed that when she went back to the future, she’d find things unchanged.

“Did you do what you needed to do?” he asked.

“Almost.” Scarlett picked up the knife her mother had dropped. It was a white dagger with a star-shaped stone in the hilt. Scarlett wondered if it had been a gift from Gavriel as she used the knife to cut off her silver streak of hair. Months ago, that little streak had felt like such a great cost to Scarlett, but it was nothing compared to what her mother had sacrificed. “I’m ready now.” As soon as she said it, the Assassin took her hand and then they both were standing in the candlelit court of the Fallen Star.