فصل 22

CHAPTER 22

No Way to Treat a Queen

Later, I try to call Albert, but a recording says that the number is no longer in service, and I worry that he had to move away or something.

When I see him at school on Monday, I am so relieved.

I run up to him. Albert, is it true that if you touch a butterfly’s wings, you keep it from flying ever again? Basically, kill it?

A rather curious question for such a cold day. In temperatures such as these—

Albert! Just tell me. Yes or no.

No, it is a myth that you render a butterfly unable to fly by touching its wings. The powdery residue on their wings is actually scales. They shed these scales on a regular basis, so merely touching them is okay. You only injure the butterfly if its wings are torn.

I remember how the lady said its wings weren’t torn. I hug Albert until I realize what I’m doing. His surprised expression is so hilarious. Like Einstein himself just told him that Earth is not round but instead shaped like a spoon.

• • •

Nice shirt, Albert. Is it new? Shay laughs at her own comment. Before he can answer, she draws her fingers down her own sleeve. I got a new sweater. It’s purple, which is the color of royalty, she says, looking directly at me. That’s why it’s my favorite.

I wonder what she wants from us and I hate that I never know what to say to her. I come up with great comebacks to her the next morning, hunched over a bowl of cereal.

Indeed. Purple is the color of royalty, Albert tells Shay.

Yes. Yes, it is. Her voice is singsongy and makes me wish she’d go eat paste.

You two are just so uncouth. She turns to me. I bet Ally doesn’t even know what the word uncouth even means. Do you?

I know what uncouth means, Albert says. I know something else, too. Only an uncouth person would wear snail snot.

She looks at us like we’re wearing it.

You say purple is the color of royals, he says. They only wore purple because it was the most difficult and expensive color to make. In medieval times, they needed to collect three thousand Murex brandaris snails to have enough slime to make one cloak. So, good for you. I’d prefer beige. He turns to me. What about you, Ally? Slime or beige?

Oh, I’d have to go for beige. I try not to smile, as much as I want to, and I try to keep my voice from sounding as happy as it is, because the look on Shay’s face when she looks down at her new sweater, like she is actually covered in snail slime, is pretty unforgettable.