فصل 52

My Uncle Gets Some Backup Singers

ALEX RIPPED OFF her veil, whipped her new golden garrote from her waist, and looped it around Thrym’s neck. The giant king rose, bellowing in outrage, as Alex scrambled onto his back and began choking him like she’d done with the lindworm in Valhalla.

“I want a divorce!” she yelled.

Thrym’s face turned an even deeper purple. His eyes bulged. His throat should have been cut clean through, but the skin around the garrote seemed to be turning to gleaming gray rock—stupid earth giants and their stupid earth magic.

“Treachery!” Thrynga’s eyes danced with excitement, as if she finally saw a chance to do some treachery of her own. “Bring me the hammer!” She lunged for Mjolnir, but Samirah’s ax hurtled across the room and embedded itself in Thrynga’s side. The giantess fell forward like she was stealing second base.

I summoned Jack. Uncle Randolph was almost at Loki’s side. Before I could reach him, giants surrounded me.

Jack and I leaped into action, working together efficiently for once, cleaving through one earth giant after another. But we were badly outnumbered and the giants (OBVIOUS FACT ALERT) were really big. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Thrynga clawing across the floor, trying to reach the now-unguarded hammer. Thrym was still staggering around the room, slamming his back against the cave wall in an attempt to dislodge Alex, but each time he tried, Alex changed into a gorilla, which just made it easier for her to strangle Thrym. The giant’s tongue was the size and color of an unripe plantain. He stretched his hand toward Thor’s hammer, probably trying to send it back into the earth, but Alex tightened her garrote and broke his concentration.

Meanwhile, Sam ripped off her own veil. Her Valkyrie spear appeared in her hand, flooding the room with white radiance. Two more giants charged toward her, blocking my line of vision.

Somewhere behind me, Loki screamed, “Now, you fool!”

“I—I can’t!” Randolph wailed. “There are women present!”

The god snarled. I suppose he could’ve forced Alex and Sam to pass out, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of Thrynga and Sigyn.

“Unsheathe it anyway,” he ordered. “Curse the consequences!”

“But—”

“DO IT!”

I was too busy dodging clubs and stabbing giants to see what happened, but I heard the Skofnung Sword being drawn. It let loose an unearthly howl—an outraged chorus of twelve berserker spirits unleashed against their will and in violation of their ancient taboo.

The sound was so loud it gave me double vision. Several giants stumbled. Unfortunately, Jack had also been affected. He turned heavy and inanimate in my hands just as one of the giants backhanded me, sending me flying across the cavern.

I slammed into a stalagmite. Something in my chest went crack. That probably wasn’t good. I struggled to rise, trying to ignore the acid now sloshing around in my rib cage.

My vision swam. Uncle Randolph was screaming, his voice blending with the howl of the Skofnung spirits. Mist swirled around him, pluming from the blade as if it had turned to dry ice.

“Hurry, you fool!” Loki yelled. “Before the sword dissolves!”

Sobbing, Randolph struck the bonds at Loki’s feet. With a sound like a high-tension wire snapping on a bridge, the ties broke.

“No!” Sam shouted. She lunged forward, but the damage had been done. Loki brought his knees to his chest for the first time in a thousand years. Sigyn retreated against the far wall, allowing the snake’s venom to splash freely in her husband’s face. Loki screamed and thrashed.

Sam thrust her spear at my uncle, but Loki still had enough presence of mind to yell, “Samirah, freeze!”

Sam did, her teeth clenched with effort. Her eyes burned with rage. She let loose a guttural howl almost worse than the Skofnung Sword’s, but she couldn’t seem to break Loki’s command.

Randolph staggered, staring at his smoking sword. The edge was corroding, the black gunk from Loki’s bindings chewing away at the magical blade.

“The stone, you idiot!” Loki kicked at him futilely, turning his face away from the trickle of venom. “Sharpen the blade and get on with it! You only have a few minutes!”

Smoke continued swirling around Randolph. His skin was starting to turn blue. I realized it wasn’t just the sword that was dissolving. The enraged spirits of Skofnung, still howling, were taking out their anger on my uncle.

A giant charged me with a ceremonial totem pole. I managed to roll out of the way—my cracked ribs throbbing in protest—and cripple the giant by stabbing his ankles.

Alex was still throttling the giant king. Both of them looked pretty bad. Thrym stumbled, his hands clawing sluggishly at his bride. Blood trickled from Alex’s ear, spattering her white dress. I hoped Sif didn’t expect us to return it dry-cleaned.

Three of the giants had surrounded Thor’s hammer again. Now they picked it up, staggering under its weight.

“What do we do with it?” one groaned. “Put it back in the earth?”

“Don’t you dare!” Thrynga yelled. She was on her feet now, clutching the ax still embedded in her side. “That hammer is mine!”

Granted, I didn’t know the rules of earth magic, but judging from the effort it had taken Thrym to retrieve the hammer, I doubted any of the giants would be able to sink it eight miles into the earth again right away—not in the middle of a battle with weapons flying and berserker spirits howling. I was more concerned about the sword.

Randolph had already re-sharpened the blade. As Sam screamed at him to stop, he moved toward Loki’s right hand.

“Thrynga!” I yelled.

The white giantess glared at me, her inky lips curled into a snarl.

“You want the sword for yourself…?” I said, pointing to my uncle. “You’d better hurry.”

It seemed like a good idea, turning a murderous giantess on Loki.

Unfortunately, Thrynga also hated me. “That sword is finished,” she said. “Already dissolving. But perhaps I’ll take yours!”

She charged. I tried to raise Jack, but he was still dead weight in my hand. Thrynga plowed into me and we both skidded across the floor—straight into one of the bubbling pits.

News flash: Pits of boiling liquid are hot.

Had I been a regular mortal, I would have died in seconds. Being an einherji, I figured I had a minute or so before the heat killed me. Hooray.

My world was reduced to a boiling roar, a sulfurous yellow haze, and the white shape of the giantess, whose fingers were digging into my windpipe.

Jack was still in my grip, but that arm felt heavy and useless. With my free hand, I clawed blindly at Thrynga, trying to break her grip on my throat.

By chance, my fingers found the shaft of Sam’s ax, still buried in Thrynga’s side. I yanked it free and swung it in the general vicinity of the giantess’s head.

The pressure on my throat abruptly loosened. I pushed the giantess away and flailed for the surface. Somehow I pulled myself, steaming and lobster red, out of the hot springs.

More sounds of battle: Blades clanging against blades. Rocks shattering. Giants roaring. The Skofnung Sword’s spirits continued their bitter howling. I tried to get up, but my skin felt like a cooked sausage casing. I was afraid that if I moved too fast, I might literally burst.

“Jack,” I croaked, “go.”

Jack left my grip, but he was moving slowly. Maybe he was still dazed by the howling of the spirits. Maybe my own condition was weakening him. It was all he could do to keep the giants from finishing me off.

My vision was cloudy white with yellow blobs, as though my eyeballs had turned into hard-boiled eggs. I saw Thrym stagger to the wedding bench, grab it in both hands, and with one final burst of strength, swing it over his head at Alex. It crashed against her scalp, and she dropped off the giant’s back.

Nearby, I heard another high-tension SNAP. Loki’s right hand was free.

“Yes!” the god cried. He rolled to one side, out of the snake’s range. “The last one, Randolph, and your family will be returned to you!”

Sam was still frozen. She struggled against Loki’s will so intensely that a capillary had burst across her forehead, making a dotted red line there. In the light of her spear, Randolph’s face looked bluer than ever. His skin was turning translucent, the structure of his skull showing through as he hurried to sharpen the Skofnung blade for one last strike.

Three giants were still staggering around with Thor’s hammer, not sure what to do with it. The giant king turned toward Alex, who now lay stunned on the floor. Another giant approached Sam warily, eyeing her glowing spear, obviously wondering if she was really as helpless as she looked.

“Jack,” I murmured, my voice like wet sand. But I didn’t know what to tell him. I was barely able to move. A dozen giants were still in fighting shape. Loki was almost free. I couldn’t save Alex and Sam and stop my uncle all at the same time. It was over.

Then the cavern shook. A bulging rift split the ceiling like the opening claws of a grabber arm—spilling out a dwarf, an elf, and several einherjar.

Blitz struck first. Just as Thrym looked up, momentarily distracted from his desire to kill his bride, a dwarf in paisley chain mail landed on his face. Blitz wasn’t heavy, but he had gravity and surprise on his side. The giant king crumpled beneath him like a pile of blocks.

Hearthstone hit the cavern floor with his usual elfish grace and immediately tossed a rune at Loki:

I guess the I stood for ice. Suddenly, the god of evil was encased in the stuff, his eyes wide with shock, his left arm still bound to the last stalagmite—making him the ugliest frozen treat I had ever seen.

My comrades from floor nineteen launched themselves into battle with glee.

“Death and glory!” Halfborn roared.

“Kill everyone!” Mallory said.

“Charge!” T.J. yelled.

T.J. bayonetted the nearest giant. Mallory’s knives flashed as she took out two more with well-placed crotch strikes. (Tip: Don’t ever fight Mallory Keen without titanium crotch armor.) Halfborn Gunderson, our own version of a giant, waded into the battle—shirtless, as usual, with bloodred smiley faces painted all over his chest (I assumed Mallory had gotten bored on the tunneling trip down here). Laughing insanely, Halfborn grabbed a giant’s head and introduced it to his left knee. Halfborn’s knee won.

With Loki frozen, Samirah was able to shake herself free of his control. She immediately put her spear to work, impaling an advancing giant then threatening Uncle Randolph. “Back off!” she snarled.

For a moment, I thought the tide had turned. Giants fell one after another. I summoned Jack to my hand, and despite my overcooked condition, despite my exhaustion, I managed to get to my feet. The presence of my friends energized me. I staggered over to Alex and helped her up.

“I’m good,” she muttered, though she looked disoriented and bloody. How she had survived being bashed with a bench was beyond me. I guess she was hardheaded. “He—he didn’t control me. Loki didn’t. I—I was pretending.”

She gripped my hand, obviously concerned that I might not believe her.

“I know, Alex.” I squeezed her hand. “You did great.”

Meanwhile, Blitzen hit Thrym repeatedly in the face with his chain mail bow tie. As he did so, he looked up at me and grinned. “Thor got in touch with us, kid. Nice work! It was actually easier for me to tunnel here once I knew the location. The gods are still digging their way in from this idiot’s lair. The rock is magically hardened, by this guy”—he punched Thrym in the face again—“but they’ll get through it.”

The bodies of fallen giants lay strewn across the cavern. The last three standing were the ones guarding Thor’s hammer, but they’d been staggering around so much with Mjolnir, back and forth from Thrym to Thrynga like a moving crew with an oversize couch, that now they looked completely spent. Halfborn Gunderson made short work of them with his battle-ax. Then he stood triumphantly over them, rubbing his hands eagerly. “I’ve always wanted to try this!” He strained to lift Mjolnir, but the hammer stayed stubbornly in place.

Mallory snorted. “Like I keep telling you, you are not as strong as three giants. Now help me over here—”

“Look out!” Alex cried.

Halfborn’s effort with the hammer had distracted us from Uncle Randolph and Loki. I turned just as the block of ice shattered, spraying us with frozen shards.

In the moment we were blinded, my uncle lunged forward with Skofnung. He struck the last restraint around Loki’s left wrist, snapping the bonds.

The sword dissipated in a puff of smoke. The chorus of angry berserkers went silent. My uncle dropped to his knees, screaming, his arm beginning to dissolve into blue vapor.

In the back of the cave, Sigyn cringed as her husband rose to his feet.

“Free,” Loki said, his emaciated body steaming, his face a wasteland of scarred flesh. “Now the fun begins.”