فصل 38

chapter-38 Sleeping in the hallway

Again, I didn’t sleep well. I had dreams. Nightmares. To make it worse Ostin was snoring like a chain saw. At two in the morning I got up and walked out into the hall. To my surprise Taylor was standing there in the dark.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked.

“I heard you say you were coming out.” “I didn’t say I was coming out.” “You thought it. Loudly.”

“You could hear me?”

She nodded. “I think it has to do with how electric you’ve become. Do you want to go for a walk?” I shook my head. “Not really. I’m exhausted. It’s bizarre. I can’t sleep but I’m exhausted.” “I know what you mean. Do you want to hang out for a while?” “Yes.”

We sat down on the floor outside my door, and I lay my head back on her shoulder.

“You’re afraid,” she said.

“Yeah.”

“Me too.” She ran her hand over my cheek. “Do you think we’ll ever come back?” I didn’t answer. At least not vocally.

After a moment she said softly, sadly, “Yeah. Me too.” She took a deep breath. “You know, part of me doesn’t care anymore.” I looked at her. “What do you mean?” “When my father was shot and I thought he might die, I was freaked out, but I realized that part of me was happy for him. All I could think of was how lucky he was that he didn’t have to worry anymore about the Elgen or Hatch . . . or the end of the free world.” I closed my eyes.

After a minute she said, “Me too.” “You too what?” I asked.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

I sighed. “Sometimes I think you’re the only reason I want to keep living.” “Maybe love is really the only reason we have to live.” “That’s profound,” I said.

“Maybe,” Taylor said.

The two of us fell asleep in the hall.

I woke to some Chinese guy dragging his luggage over my foot as he walked by us. He didn’t bother to say “excuse me” or whatever they say in Chinese; he just ran his bag over me like I was carpet lice. I made a lightning ball, then caught myself and threw it against the wall in front of me instead of at him.

I could see from the glowing curtained window at the far end of the corridor that the sun was beginning to rise. We would be leaving soon.

Taylor was lying on her side next to me. I leaned over and kissed her, then whispered into her ear, “We need to get ready.” She lightly groaned. Then her eyes fluttered open. “Is it time to go?” “Soon,” I said.

“Just hold me a little longer.” I lay back down and pulled her head onto my chest, and she quickly fell back asleep. I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t. Actually, I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel every second of her next to me. What I had said in the night was true. If something happened to her, I didn’t know if I would be able to go on.

As I looked at her sleeping, I said softly, “I love you.” I gently slid my hand up her neck under her hair. “I would die for you.” Taylor sighed a little. Then she said in a half-asleep voice, “What?” I pulled her in close. “Nothing,” I said. “Nothing.”