فصل 7 بخش 3

CHAPTER 7.3

THE FINAL SECRET

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

—WINSTON CHURCHILL

As we take these final steps of our journey together, I want to invite you to think about what you are most passionate about in this world. What do you care for most deeply? What excites you? What legacy would light you up? What could you do today that would make you proud? What action could you take that would be a signal to your own spirit that your life is being lived well? And if you were truly inspired, what would you like to create or give?

All these questions bring us closer to the final secret of true wealth. But—and here’s the deal—part of the key may seem counterintuitive. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about how to master money, save, invest, and build a critical mass that can ultimately create freedom and increase the quality of your life. But at the same time, we’ve all been taught that money cannot buy happiness. As one study attests, most people believe that if their income doubled, their happiness would also double. But the study’s findings proved that, in reality, people who went from earning $25,000 per year to $55,000 per year reported only a 9% increase in happiness. Additionally, one of the most widely quoted studies on the subject tells us that once you make a solid middle-class salary—about $75,000 per year in America—earning more money doesn’t make any measureable difference in a person’s level of happiness.

“So, what’s the point?” you might ask.

The truth is: more recent studies have proven that money can make us happier. Scientists have shown that “spending as little as five dollars a day can significantly change your happiness.” How so? Well, it’s not the amount of money you spend, but how you decide to spend it that matters. “Every day spending choices unleash a cascade of biological and emotional effects that are detectable right down to saliva,” reports Harvard’s Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton in their brilliant 2013 book, Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending. “While having more money can provide all kinds of wonderful things—from tastier food to safer neighborhoods—its real power comes not in the amount but how we spend it.” They have scientifically proven that there are many different ways you can spend your money that will actually increase your happiness significantly. I won’t reveal them all here and will leave it to you to pick up their book, but three of the most important are:

1) Investing in experiences—such as travel, learning a new skill, or taking some courses, rather than acquiring more possessions.

2) Buying time for yourself—“Whenever we can outsource our most dreaded tasks (from scrubbing toilets to cleaning gutters), money can transform the way we spend our time, freeing us to pursue our passions!” But can you guess the greatest thing you can do with your money that will bring you massively increased happiness?

3) Investing in others—That’s right. Giving our money away actually makes us really happy!

Most people don’t believe that. Easy person reach billioner, maybe you, but not for me. I’m talking about anybody.

In fact, the research shows that the more you give to others, the happier you are. And the more you have, the more you are able to give. It’s a virtuous cycle. Dunn and Norton demonstrate through their own scientific studies that people get more satisfaction spending money on others than they do spending it on themselves. And the benefits “extend to not only subjective well-being, but also objective health.” In other words, giving makes you both happier and healthier.

According to the authors, this phenomenon spans continents and cultures, rich countries and poor, people in the highest and lowest income groups, young and old, “from a Canadian college student purchasing a scarf for her mother, to a Ugandan woman buying lifesaving malaria medication for a friend.” Again, the data shows that the size of the gift doesn’t really matter.

In one of their studies, the authors handed participants either $5 or $20 to spend by the end of the day. Half were told to buy something for themselves; the others were instructed to use the money to help somebody else. “That evening, people who had been assigned to spend the money on someone else reported [significantly] happier moods over the course of the day than did those people assigned to spend the money on themselves,” they wrote.

The authors’ colleague, psychologist Lara Aknin of Simon Fraser University, conducted another study in which she handed out $10 Starbucks gift cards to her subjects.

• Some were instructed to go into Starbucks alone and use the gift card on themselves.

• Some were told to use the gift card to take another person out for coffee.

• Some were told to give the gift card away to someone else, but they weren’t allowed to go to Starbucks with that person.

• Some were told to take another person with them to Starbucks but to use the card only for themselves, not the person with them.

At the end of the day, which subjects do you think reported being happiest? You’re right if you picked the ones who were there in Starbucks when they treated someone else to a cup of coffee. According to the authors, people are happiest when they connect with those they help, and “see how their generous actions have made a difference.” I can tell you from my own foundation, feeding people, not as the giver, going and delivering the food, even though you bought it and seeing the look on people’s faces, seeing how their life changed is what make people become addicted to my basketball game in Robert’s foundation. What gruesome me feeding 2 families, then 4, then 8, to now feeding 4 million people a year.

The happiness we feel from helping others is not only more intense, but it lasts longer too. Who wants happines for a moment? Why not lasting happiness? When I brought up the topic of money and happiness in my interview with renowned behavioral economics expert Dan Ariely, he told me, “If you ask people, ‘What would make you happy: buying something for yourself, or buying something for somebody else?’ they say, ‘Oh, something for myself.’ But that’s not true. Research shows that when people buy something for themselves, they get happy for a few minutes or usually a few hours. But if they buy even a small gift for somebody else, the giver’s happiness lasts a minimum to the end of the day, but often the happiness can carry over for days or even weeks on end.” Dan also told me about a “beautiful experiment” in which employees of a certain company were given bonuses in the $3,000 range. Some people got the bonuses to spend on themselves. And some were instructed to give the money away. Guess who was happier? Come on Tony. This one’s over the edge. I’m not giving 3 grand to some stranger, some body else in company. But guess what?

“Six months down the line, the people who gave it away reported being much happier than the group that kept it for themselves,” Dan said. “I mean, think about what giving is all about, right? It’s an amazing thing that connects you to other people . . . and there’s a cycle of benefits that comes from that.” When you give away money, especially if you do something for a stranger versus if you do something for someone you love, the level of multiplied happiness is geometric. It’s the equivalent of doubling or tripling your salary.

In my own experience, I’ve witnessed so many amazing things that happen when you give. When you get beyond your own survival and success mechanisms to a world where you’re living for more than just yourself, suddenly your fear, your frustration, your pain and unhappiness disappear. I truly believe that when we give of ourselves, then life, God, grace—whatever you want to call it—steps in and guides us. Remember, life supports whatever supports more of life.

Let me give you an example of how a young boy’s life was reignited after his heart and soul were nearly crushed in the aftermath of the horrific school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. His is a story of finding purpose and inspiration and a release from pain through the act of giving.

A POWER BEYOND PAIN

JT Lewis will never forget December 14, 2012. That morning a deranged shooter broke into Sandy Hook Elementary School with a death wish for himself and 26 others, including 20 children ranging from ages five to ten. At one point during the rampage, JT’s six-year-old brother, Jesse, noticed the shooter’s weapon had jammed and shouted for his classmates to run. That brave little boy saved many lives that morning, but, unfortunately, not his own. The gunman turned on Jesse and shot him dead.

Imagine the devastation if Jesse were your son. Or brother. I had the privilege of meeting 13-year-old JT, and his and Jesse’s mother, Scarlett, when I flew to Newtown on the first anniversary of the massacre to help a group of survivors cope with the ongoing impact of this devastating tragedy. As I expected, so many of these families were tortured with grief. But I was astonished to talk to JT and learn how his pain and suffering had been transformed through a single interaction with a group of extraordinary Rwandan orphans. These young boys and girls had heard about JT’s loss and wanted to reach out across the globe to share a message of healing.

These orphans had all survived one of the worst tragedies in history. In 1994, mass genocide in Rwanda led to the death of as many as 1 million Tutsis, who were killed by their Hutu neighbors in roughly 100 days. During a Skype call, one of the girls, Chantal, told JT how sorry she was for the loss of his brother. But she wanted him to know that no one can take away joy and happiness from your life, only you; the shooter does not have that power.

She then went on to share her own story of how she was only eight years old when she had been forced to witness the horrendous sight of her parents being hacked to death by men with machetes. Next the killers turned on her, slashing her neck and throwing her tiny body in a mass grave. Buried beneath the ground, bleeding profusely and terrified, but filled with a will to survive, Chantal clawed her way out of that shallow grave and made her way to freedom in the mountains above her village. Hiding in the dark forest, she could look down on the community she once called home, as flames swallowed house after house, and the air echoed with screams of the people she loved. She lived on grass for a month while she waited for the killing to stop.

Certainly you would expect a child forced to witness the murder of her own parents would be emotionally scarred for life. One would expect her to live in anger and fear, but she doesn’t. She is a master of the three decisions that shape our lives.

As she told JT, “I know you don’t believe it now, but you can heal immediately and live a happy and beautiful life. It simply requires training yourself to, every day, be grateful, forgiving, and compassionate. Grateful for what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don’t. You must forgive the shooter and his family and find a way to serve others, and you will be freed from your pain.” Her face was filled with a joy greater than JT could have ever imagined. As bad as his life was, the horror she described was more intense than anything he could conceive. If she could be free of her pain, then so could he. And now was the time.

But how would he do it? He decided he must find a way to give back to this young soul who had reached across thousands of miles to send him love on his day of need. Chantal found her reason to live, her passion and sense of purpose, in deciding to protect, love, and raise some of the other younger orphans of the genocide. This became her mission, and it freed her from focusing on herself or any sense of loss.

Her example of service to others touched JT deeply, and he became obsessed with the idea of giving. He decided that helping to create a better future for this extraordinary girl was his mission. He began to work day and night to raise money to put her through college. Within several months, this 13-year-old boy was able to Skype back and announce that he had raised $2,100—enough money to send Chantal to college for a year! She was incredibly touched. But like many young people, especially in the third world, university was simply not a practical option for her, especially as she had already started her own small business as a shopkeeper. (And as you might imagine from a woman with her spirit, she is quite a successful entrepreneur!) So, in the continued spirit of giving, Chantal passed this amazing gift on to her best friend, Betty, another orphan who had also been on the call to encourage JT.

I was so moved by JT’s commitment that I decided on the spot to provide the additional three years of college for Betty, and support Chantal by providing her the funding to build a new shop and a permanent residence for the rest of her adopted orphan family.

Today we’re all working together to expand the resources available for many more of the 75,000 orphaned children who survived the genocide.27

The lesson here is this: human beings can overcome our pain when we choose to see life’s beauty and find a way to give of ourselves. That is where the healing gift comes from. The key is finding something that will inspire you to want to give. That sense of mission—that’s the ultimate power in life. That’s when you truly become wealthy—that is when you move from a mere life of enjoyment to a life of joy and meaning.

GIVING IS HEALING

Of course, giving means more than just giving money. It’s also giving your time, it’s giving your emotion, it’s giving your presence to your kids, to your family, to your husband or your wife, to your friends, to your associates. Our work is also our gift. Whether that gift is a song, a poem, building a multinational business, serving as a counselor, a healthcare provider, or a teacher, we all have something to give. In fact, after love, one of the most sacred gifts we can give is our labor. And volunteering your time, giving your unique level of caring, and sharing your skills will also give you significant “returns.” My friend Arianna Huffington cites studies in her brilliant book Thrive that show how the act of giving actually improves your physical and mental health. One example I love in particular is the 2013 study from Britain’s University of Exeter Medical School that reveals how volunteering is associated with lower rates of depression, higher reports of well-being, and a 22% reduction in death rates! She also writes, “Volunteering at least once a week yields improvements to well-being tantamount to your salary increasing from $20,000 to $75,000!” So what’s the final secret to wealth? It’s that giving in any form builds wealth faster than getting ever will. I don’t care how powerful any of us are as individuals, whether you’re a business titan, political leader, financial mogul, or entertainment icon—the secret to a fulfilled life is not only to do well but also to do good. After all, we all know the story of how society has been transformed by magnificently wealthy individuals who woke up one morning and realized, “Life is about more than just me.” Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.

—STEVE JOBS

Before the 19th century, most charity was handled by religious organizations—until steel magnate Andrew Carnegie came along. Kings and nobles and the wealthiest families weren’t interested in giving back to their communities; for the most part, they just wanted to hang on to their money for themselves and their heirs. Many businessmen shared the same belief. But Carnegie led the other “robber barons” of his era to create philanthropy as we’ve come to know it today.

Carnegie was a ruthless businessman, but he made the steel that built the railroads and skyscrapers that transformed America. He had to add value to be profitable, so society benefitted, and so did he. In his lifetime, he became the richest man in the world. But there came a stage in his life where he had gotten all the things that he wanted and then some. He had so much money that he began to realize that it had very little meaning—unless he used it for something beyond himself. So Carnegie spent the first half of his life accumulating money and the second half giving it away. He described his personal transformation in an essay (and later a book) that’s still worth reading called The Gospel of Wealth. My friend, Nobel Prize winner and Yale economics professor Robert Shiller, insists that all of his students read it because he wants them to know that capitalism can be a force for good. Carnegie’s essay changed society, influenced his peers, and even challenged the incomprehensible wealth of his greatest rival, John D. Rockefeller. Inspired by a fierce competitive spirit, Rockefeller began shoveling mountains of money into some of the nation’s greatest foundations. Carnegie created a new standard: a standard of measuring your significance not by what you have but by what you give. His focus was education. In fact, during his lifetime, Carnegie’s contributions doubled the number of libraries in the United States, and provided so much of the intellectual growth and capital of our society before the internet came into being.

Our friend Chuck Feeney became a modern Carnegie, giving away almost all of his $7.5 billion fortune—except he chose to keep quiet about it until recently!

By the time I came to meet Chuck, he was 83 and in the final stage of his life. He had difficulty speaking for extended periods of time, but in his presence is found an experience more profound than words. In his presence, you feel the power of a life well lived. You can see it in the joy in his eyes, in the smile that flashes so easily for him, in the kindness that emanates from his heart.

Chuck Feeney, in turn, inspired another generation. Many say Ted Turner was the next to reignite this form of large-scale philanthropy with his $1 billion pledge to the United Nations. Since then, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have joined forces to create the Giving Pledge to inspire the world’s wealthy to leave at least half of their fortunes to charity. At last count, more than 120 billionaires had signed up, including some of the ultrawealthy individuals in this book, such as Ray Dalio, T. Boone Pickens, Sara Blakely, Carl Icahn, and Paul Tudor Jones. (See the website, at http://givingpledge.org, to read some of the moving letters they wrote to accompany their gifts.) T. Boone Pickens told me he’s gotten a bit carried away with his philanthropy. He’d recently given nearly a half billion dollars to his alma mater, Oklahoma State University, bringing his total charitable gifts to over $1 billion. However, he recently took some losses that lowered his net worth to $950 million—just shy of that billion he gave away! But Boone is not concerned. After all, he’s only 86 years old. “Don’t worry, Tony,” he said. “I’m planning on earning another two billion in the next few years.” He feels no sense of loss, because the joy he’s received in giving is priceless.

In modern times, the richest and the most influential men and women in the world have tackled the world’s big problems. Carnegie took on education. Bill and Melinda Gates take on scholarship and preventable epidemics. Bono’s passion is forgiving the debt that enslaves third world countries. But do you have to be a billionaire or a rock star to solve the world’s greatest problems? Not in today’s interconnected world. If we work together through the use of technology, we can each do a little bit and still have a huge impact.

SWIPEOUT HUNGER, SWIPEOUT DISEASE, SWIPEOUT SLAVERY

I’m not sure what your passion is, but one area I personally feel deep empathy for is children and families in need. You need to have ice in your veins not to feel for a child who is suffering. So let’s take a minute to look at three of the biggest problems affecting children and their families today, and what immediate, concrete steps we could easily take to make a difference.

The first is hunger. Who do you think goes to bed hungry each night in the richest country in the world? According to the US Census Bureau, as staggering as it sounds, one in four American children under the age of five lives in poverty, and almost one in ten lives in extreme poverty (which is defined as an annual income below $11,746, or $32 a day, for a family of four to live on).

Fifty million Americans, including nearly 17 million children, live in food-insecure homes—or as Joel Berg of New York’s Coalition Against Hunger told Theresa Riley of Moyers & Company, homes that “don’t have enough money to regularly obtain the food they need”; that “are rationing food and skipping meals. Where parents are going without food to feed their children.” At the same time, Congress has cut $8.7 billion of annual SNAP benefits—what used to be called food stamps—eliminating more than a week’s worth of meals every month for a half million American families.

I lived in one of those homes; ours was one of those families. That’s where my passion to make a difference in this area comes from. I know those aren’t just statistics; those are human beings who are suffering.

I’ve already shared with you how my life was transformed one Thanksgiving Day when I was 11 years old. Again, it wasn’t just receiving food that changed my life, it was the fact that a stranger cared. That simple act has had an exponential effect. I’ve continued to pay that gift forward by feeding 42 million people over the last 38 years. The key is I didn’t wait until I could handle this huge problem on a large scale. I didn’t wait until I became wealthy. I started to attack the problem where I was, with what little I had.

At first it was a financial stretch to feed just two families, but then I became inspired and I doubled my goal—to feed four. The next year it was eight, then 16. As my companies and influence grew, it became a million a year, then 2 million. Just like investments compound, so do investments in giving—and they provide an even greater reward. The privilege of being in a place where today I am able to donate 50 million meals, and in partnership with you and others, provide more than 100 million meals, is beyond description. I was the guy who had to be fed, and now through grace and commitment, it’s my honor to feed others and to multiply the good that was done for me and my family.

There’s nothing like the power of the human soul on fire. Along the way, caring touched me, and so did books. They transported me from a world of limitation to a life of possibility as I entered the minds of authors who had already transformed their lives. In that tradition, I approached my publisher, Simon & Schuster, and let them know that I wanted to feed not just bodies but also minds. They have joined me in this mission by donating my simple change-your-life book called Notes from a Friend. I wrote to help someone in a tough place to turn his or her life around with practical advice, strategies, and inspirational stories that shows that I was homeless once too and how my life is transformed and how I did it. To match the investment you’ve made in buying this book, my publisher has pledged to provide a copy of Notes from a Friend to a person in need through my partners at Feeding America. They are the nation’s largest network of food banks and considered to be the most effective charity in the United States for feeding the homeless. And they’re gonna help us to feed only only their bodies but these people’s minds as well.

But now I’d like to ask you to consider partnering with me in a way that would continue to do these good works for years to come. It’s a simple strategy that can provide 100 million meals not only this year but also every year for those hungry families in need. It doesn’t require a substantial donation. The plan I’m proposing offers you the opportunity to change and save lives by effortlessly giving away your spare change. How? Join me in the campaign to SwipeOut hunger, SwipeOut disease, and SwipeOut slavery!

USE YOUR SPARE CHANGE TO CHANGE THE WORLD

So I have an offer for you. My goal in this book was to help you understand the distinctions, insights, skills—and give you a plan—that can truly empower you to create lasting financial security, independence, or freedom for you and your family. I’m obsessed with finding ways to add more value to your life than you could ever imagine with one book (although a big one, I must admit). I want it to inspire you to get beyond scarcity and become a wealthy man or woman right now! And that occurs the day that you start giving with joy in your heart—wherever you are financially—not because you have to, not out of guilt or demand, but because it excites some part of you.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics of the US Department of Labor, there are 124 million households in the US that spend an average of $2,604 per year on entertainment—that’s more than $320 billion a year just on entertainment. Imagine if just some of this money went to solving previously intractable problems like hunger, human trafficking, and access to clean water? In the US, it takes one dollar to provide ten meals to needy individuals. Imagine helping to provide 100,000,000 meals a year! That’s only a little over $10 million—just .0034% of what we spend on entertainment! It’s pennies on the dollar—America’s pocket change! So I partnered with some great minds in business and marketing, including Bob Caruso (social capitalist and former managing partner and COO of one of the top 100 hedge funds in the world, Highbridge Capital Management) and my dear friend Marc Benioff (philanthropist, founder, and CEO of Salesforce.com) to build the technology that allows you to easily and painlessly put those pennies to work to save lives.

In less than a minute, you can go online and opt in to SwipeOut (www.swipeout.com), so that every time you use your credit cards anywhere in the world, the price of your purchase will automatically round up to the nearest dollar.28 That amount will go directly to an approved and effective charity that will report back to you with stories of the lives you have touched. Here’s how it works: if you paid $3.75 for your Starbucks, $0.25 would be routed to preselected charities. For an average consumer, this change adds up to just under $20 a month. You can put a limit on what you give, but we do ask that you keep it at a minimum of $10.

Want to know what your impact would be? For about $20 a month:

• you could provide 200 meals for hungry Americans (that’s 2,400 meals per year!); or

• you could provide a clean, sustainable source of water for ten children in India each month—that’s 120 children per year that you personally protect from a waterborne illness; or

• you could make a down payment on rescuing and rehabilitating a young Cambodian girl trafficked into slavery.

These are the three big issues facing children and families. In America, it’s hunger. Which is why our focus is on swiping out hunger with our partner Feeding America.

But the biggest challenge for children in the world is disease. Did you know that disease caused by contaminated water is the world’s leading killer, accounting for 3.4 million deaths per year, according to the World Health Organization (WHO)? In fact, every 20 seconds, another child dies from a waterborne disease—and more have perished than the total number of people who’ve died in all the armed conflicts since World War II.

This is why the second commitment of SwipeOut is to swipe out waterborne disease and provide clean water for as many children as possible worldwide. There are a variety of organizations with sustainable solutions out there, and some require as little as $2 a person to provide these children and their families with a reliable supply of clean water.

WHAT’S THE PRICE OF FREEDOM?

Throughout this book, we’ve been working to make sure that you can achieve financial freedom. What about investing a tiny fraction of what you spend each month to help secure freedom for one of the 8.4 million children in the world trapped in slavery? In 2008 ABC News correspondent Dan Harris went undercover to see how long and how much it would take to buy a child slave. He left New York and ten hours later was in Haiti negotiating to buy a child for $150. As he said, in the modern world, it costs less to buy a child than an iPod.

It’s unimaginable to even consider this happening to our own children or anyone we love. But try to imagine the impact of your actions freeing a human life, a soul that has been enslaved for years by just contributing your change. There are no words. And once again, you can know that as you sleep, your contribution is empowering those who are winning this fight every day.

So how do we tackle these huge challenges? Each of us together, a little bit at a time. This year, you and I and a few of our friends are going to feed 100 million people. But wouldn’t it be incredible to feed 100 million people each year in a sustainable way? I provide fresh water for 100,000 people a day in India—it’s one of my passions. Wouldn’t it be amazing for us together to provide 3 million people with clean water a day and grow it from there? Or how about together freeing 5,000 children who had been enslaved, and supporting their education and a path to a healthy life?

That’s what the power of just 100,000 of us can do. Just as I built my foundation, this mission could grow geometrically. If over a decade or more we could find a way to grow to a million members, that would be a billion meals provided each year, 30 million people with clean water, or 50,000 children freed from slavery. These figures would be extraordinary, but in truth, even one child’s life saved would be worth all the effort.

So what’s your vision? Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and often underestimate what they can do in a decade or two.

I can tell you that when I started on my own mission and fed two families, I was excited. My goal was to feed 100 families in need. Then it grew to 1,000. Then 100,000. Then 1 million. The more we grow, the more we see what’s possible. It’s up to us. Will you join me? Put your change to work, and let’s change the world.

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.

—MAYA ANGELOU

Whether you sign up with SwipeOut or another organization, make a decision to take a small portion of the money you earn, or of your time, and consciously choose to invest it in something that doesn’t benefit you directly, but rather goes to someone in need. This decision is not about being right or wrong, it’s not about looking good, it’s about real wealth—truly feeling more alive and genuinely fulfilled.

In Happy Money, Dunn and Norton wrote that when giving outside of ourselves is done right, “when it feels like a choice, when it connects us with others, and when it makes a clear impact—even small gifts can increase happiness, potentially stirring a domino effect of generosity.” Moved by this potency of “prosocial spending” (that is, gifts for others and donations to charity) Dan Ariely and his wife were inspired to put into practice a simple system that they and their two sons could adhere to together as a family. When the kids get their allowances, they have to divide the money among three jars.

Jar 1 is for themselves.

Jar 2 is for somebody they know.

Jar 3 is for somebody they don’t know.

Notice that two-thirds of those jars are for prosocial spending, because that’s what will make the kids happy. All three jars are great, but the Arielys were careful to set aside an equal portion for people they don’t know. Spending on friends and family is beautiful, because it’s giving to people you love, but philanthropy is the third jar, and that can be the most satisfying and important form of giving.

I can also tell you there are extraordinary positive consequences for those who give when it isn’t easy. It primes our brain; it trains and conditions us to know that there’s more than enough. And when our brain believes it, we experience it.

Sir John Templeton, not only the world’s greatest investor but also one of the greatest human beings, shared something with me almost 30 years ago: he said that he’s never known anyone who tithed—meaning the person gave 8% or 10% of what he earned to religious or charitable organizations over a ten-year period—who didn’t massively grow his financial wealth. But here’s the problem: everybody says, “I’ll give when I’m doing better.” And I used to think that way too. But I’ll testify to this: you deserve to start wherever you are today. You’ve got to start the habit of giving even if you think you’re not ready; even if you think you don’t have anything to spare. Why? Because, as I said to you in the very first chapter of this book, if you don’t give a dime out of a dollar, you’re not going to give $1 million out of $10 million, or $10 million out of $100 million.

How will you fuel your legacy of giving? Will you give your time and energy? Will you tithe a portion of your earnings? Or will you start by taking a minute to go online and sign up with SwipeOut and have your change become invested in changing lives? If you’re inspired, please do this now while you are connected to the impact you can have. And remember: the person you will be giving the most to might very well be yourself. A life as a philanthropist begins with a single small step. Let’s take it together.

I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.

—ANNE FRANK

By the way, I wasn’t always as conscious of the meaning of gratitude and giving. I used to live in scarcity. Looking back, my life hasn’t always been easy, but it’s always been blessed. I just didn’t recognize it at the time. Because I grew up financially poor, I was always working to make sure I could achieve at the highest level. But I didn’t realize that achievement comes in spurts.

It takes a long time not only to learn something but also to truly master it—to where it becomes so ingrained that it becomes a part of your life. So when I was just starting out, I suffered a series of setbacks. How did I react? Let’s just say not with the grace of an enlightened soul! I was constantly angry, frustrated—pissed off! Because nothing was going my way. And I was running out of money!

Then one night around midnight, I was driving on the 57 Freeway near the Temple Avenue off-ramp near Pomona, California, wondering, “What’s wrong? I’m working so hard. What’s missing? Why am I failing so miserably in getting what I want? Why isn’t this working?” Suddenly tears started to well in my eyes, and I pulled over to the side of the road. I dug out the journal I always carried with me—I still have it to this day—and started scribbling furiously by the dashboard light. I wrote in giant letters on a full page this message to myself: “THE SECRET TO LIVING IS GIVING.” Yes! I realized I’d forgotten that’s what life was about. I’d forgotten that this is where all the joy is found—that life isn’t just about me. It’s about we.

When I pulled back on the freeway, I was inspired and refocused and reignited with a renewed sense of mission. I started doing well for a while. But, unfortunately, what I had written that night was just a concept, really—an insight that I hadn’t yet fully embodied. Then I started running into more challenges, and six months later, I had lost everything financially. Before long, I found myself at what I thought was the lowest point of my life, living on the floor of a 400-square-foot bachelor apartment in Venice, California, seething with resentment. I had fallen into the trap of blaming everyone else for the natural challenges that show up whenever you go after reasonably large goals. I decided that I had been manipulated by a variety of people who had taken advantage of me. “If it wasn’t for them,” my ego said, “I’d be in great shape!” So I threw myself a pity party. And the angrier and more frustrated I became, the less productive I became.

Then I started to eat as my way of escaping—all this crappy and ridiculous fast food. I gained over 38 pounds in just a few months; that’s not easy to do. You have to eat tons of food and not move much to pull that off! I found myself doing things I used to make fun of in other people—like watching daytime television. If I wasn’t eating, I was watching soap operas. I got pulled into the show General Hospital—if you’re old enough to remember when Luke and Laura got married, I was there!

It’s humorous (and a bit humiliating!) to look back and see how far down I had dropped. I was down to my last $19 and some change, and I didn’t have any prospects. And I was particularly pissed off at a friend who had borrowed $1,200 from me when I was doing well, but never paid it back. Now I was broke, but when I asked for the money, he’d turned his back on me. He wasn’t answering my calls! I was furious, thinking, “What the hell am I going to do! How am I even going to eat?” But I was always pragmatic. I thought, “Okay, when I was seventeen and homeless, how did I get by?” I’d go to a smorgasbord and load up on the all-you-can-eat buffet for as little money as possible. That gave me an idea.

My apartment wasn’t that far from a beautiful place called Marina del Rey, where LA’s wealthy dock their yachts. There was a restaurant called El Torito that had a fabulous buffet for about $6. I didn’t want to waste any money on gas or parking, so I walked the three miles to the restaurant, which sat right on the marina. I took a seat by the window and loaded up plate after plate of food, eating like there was no tomorrow—which might have been the case!

While I ate, I was watching the boats going by and dreaming about what life could be like. My state started to change, and I could feel layers of anger melting off me. As I finished my meal, I noticed a small boy dressed up in a little suit—he couldn’t have been more than seven or eight years old—opening the door for his young mother. Then he proudly led her to their table and held out her chair. He had a special presence. This kid seemed so pure and so good. He was such a giver—you could tell by the respectful, loving way he treated his mom. I was deeply moved.

After I paid my check, I walked over to their table and said to the boy, “Excuse me, I just want to acknowledge you for being such an extraordinary gentleman. It’s amazing how you’re treating your lady like this.” “She’s my mom,” he confided.

“Oh my God!” I said. “That’s even cooler! And it’s great that you’re taking her to lunch!”

He paused and in a quiet voice said, “Well, I really can’t, because I’m only eight years old—and I don’t have a job yet.”

“Yes, you are taking her to lunch,” I said. And in that moment, I reached into my pocket, took all the money I had left—maybe a grand total of $13 and some change—and put it down on the table.

He looked up at me and said, “I can’t take that.”

“Of course you can,” I told him.

“Why?”

I looked at him with a big smile and said, “Because I’m bigger than you are.”

He stared up at me, shocked, and then he started to giggle. I just turned and walked out the door.

I didn’t just walk out of that door, I flew home! I should have been freaking out, because I didn’t have a dime to my name, but instead I felt totally free!

That was the day my life changed forever.

That was the moment I became a wealthy man.

Something inside of me finally got past the feeling of scarcity. I was finally free of this thing called money that I had let terrorize me. I was able to give everything without any fear. Something beyond my mind, something deep in my spirit knew that I—as we all are—was guided. And this moment was meant to be. Just as you’re meant to be reading these words right now.

I realized I had been so busy trying to get that I had forgotten to give. But now I had recovered myself; I had recovered my soul.

I gave away my excuses, the blaming others, and suddenly I wasn’t angry anymore. I wasn’t frustrated. You might also have said I wasn’t very smart! Because I had no idea in hell where I was going to get my next meal. But that thought wasn’t even in my head. Instead, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy that I was released from a nightmare—the nightmare of thinking my life was doomed because of what other people had “done” to me.

That night, I committed to a plan of massive action. I decided exactly what I was going to do and how to get myself employed. I felt certain I’d make it happen—but I still didn’t know when my next paycheck would arrive or, even more urgently, my next meal.

And then a miracle happened. The next morning, the old traditional snail mail arrived, and I found a special letter in my mailbox. In it was a handwritten note from my friend saying he was so sorry he’d been avoiding my calls. I had been there for him when he needed me, and he knew that I was in trouble. So he was paying me back everything he owed. Plus a little more.

I looked inside the envelope, and there was a check for $1,300. It was enough to last me a month or more! I cried, I was so relieved. And then I thought, “What does this mean?” I don’t know if it was coincidence, but I chose to believe that those two events were connected, and that I had been rewarded because not only had I given but I had also wanted to give. Not out of obligation or fear—it was just an offering from my heart and soul to another young soul on the path.

And I can tell you honestly, I’ve had many tough days in my life, economically and emotionally—as we all have—but I’ve never gone back to that feeling of scarcity, and I never will.

The ultimate message of this book is very simple. It’s the sentence I wrote down in my journal on the side of the freeway. The final secret of wealth is: the secret to living is giving.

Give freely, openly, easily, and enjoyably. Give even when you think you have nothing to give, and you’ll discover there is an ocean of abundance inside of you and around you. Life is always happening for you, not to you. Appreciate that gift, and you are wealthy, now and forever.

Understanding this truth brought me back to what I’m made for, what we’re all made for: to be a force for good. I was brought back to a life of deep meaning, constantly looking to fulfill my prayer—and that is each day to be a blessing in the lives of all those people I meet and have the privilege to connect with.

Even though I may not have met you personally, I wrote this book from that same state, asking and praying that each chapter, each page, each concept, would be a deeper step in helping you to experience more of the blessings of who you are, and more of the blessings in what you are able to create and give in this life.

My heartfelt wish and the purpose of this book is to give you yet another way to expand and deepen the quality of your life and the lives of all those you have the blessing to love and touch. In this, it’s been a privilege to serve you.

And I look forward to someday, hopefully, crossing paths—either being able to meet you and serve you at one of my events somewhere in the world, or just meeting you on the street. I will be excited to hear how you used these principles to enhance your life.

And so, as we part, I want to leave you with a blessing, and a wish that your life will forever be filled with abundance. I wish for you a life of joy, passion, challenge, opportunity, growth, and giving. I wish for you an extraordinary life.

With love and blessings,

TONY ROBBINS