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chapter-1

Just about every kid in America wished they could be Kyle Keeley.

Especially when he zoomed across their TV screens as a flaming squirrel in a holiday commercial for Squirrel Squad Six, the hysterically crazy new Lemoncello video game.

Kyle’s friends Akimi Hughes and Sierra Russell were also in that commercial. They thumbed controllers and tried to blast Kyle out of the sky. He dodged every rubber band, coconut custard pie, mud clod, and wadded-up sock ball they flung his way.

It was awesome.

In the commercial for Mr. Lemoncello’s See Ya, Wouldn’t Want to Be Ya board game, Kyle starred as the yellow pawn. His head became the bubble tip at the top of the playing piece. Kyle’s buddy Miguel Fernandez was the green pawn. Kyle and Miguel slid around the life-size game like hockey pucks. When Miguel landed on the same square as Kyle, that meant Kyle’s pawn had to be bumped back to the starting line.

“See ya!” shouted Miguel. “Wouldn’t want to be ya!” Kyle was yanked up off the ground by a hidden cable and hurled backward, soaring above the board.

It was also awesome.

But Kyle’s absolute favorite starring role was in the commercial for Mr. Lemoncello’s You Seriously Can’t Say That game, where the object was to get your teammates to guess the word on your card without using any of the forbidden words listed on the same card.

Akimi, Sierra, Miguel, and the perpetually perky Haley Daley sat on a circular couch and played the guessers. Kyle stood in front of them as the clue giver.

“Salsa,” said Kyle.

“Nachos!” said Akimi.

A buzzer sounded. Akimi’s guess was wrong.

Kyle tried again. “Horseradish sauce!”

“Something nobody ever eats,” said Haley.

Another buzzer.

Kyle goofed up and said one of the forbidden words: “Ketchup!” SPLAT! Fifty gallons of syrupy, goopy tomato sauce slimed him from above. It oozed down his face and dribbled off his ears.

Everybody laughed. So Kyle, who loved being the class clown almost as much as he loved playing (and winning) Mr. Lemoncello’s wacky games, went ahead and read the whole list of banned words as quickly as he could.

“Mustard-mayonnaise-pickle-relish.”

SQUOOSH! He was drenched by buckets of yellow glop, white sludge, and chunky green gunk. The slop slid along his sleeves, trickled into his pants, and puddled on the floor.

His four friends busted a gut laughing at Kyle, who was soaked in more “condiments” (the word on his card) than a mile-long hot dog.

“Was it fun?” boomed an off-camera announcer.

“Fun?” answered Haley. “Hello? It’s a Lemoncello!” That’s how all the commercials ended, with Haley saying the slogan “Hello? It’s a Lemoncello!” She became a TV superstar. People all across America wished they could be Haley Daley, too. Except, of course, for the kids who were extremely jealous of her and wondered why she, Kyle Keeley, Akimi Hughes, Sierra Russell, and Miguel Fernandez had been chosen to star in Mr. Lemoncello’s holiday commercials.

When they found out that becoming famous TV stars was the prize the five kids had won in a game played at Mr. Lemoncello’s incredible new library in Alexandriaville, Ohio—a game they hadn’t been invited to play—they started demanding a rematch.