فصل چهل و چهارم

chapter-44

Around midnight, after celebrating the defeat of Mr. Lemoncello with Charles and Marjory over a few bottles of root beer, Andrew Peckleman still needed to sweep up around the motel.

Even though it was very late, he heard voices coming from his uncle’s office, so he worked his broom and dustpan closer to the door.

He heard his uncle Woody, Marjory Muldauer…

…and Mrs. Chiltington?

Andrew pressed his back against the wall and listened.

His uncle was chuckling. “Luigi is really leaving town?”

“So it would seem,” said Mrs. Chiltington. “I just received a call from that Russian woman, Dr. Zinfluenzo. She suggested that I come by the library first thing Monday morning. Apparently, Mr. Lemoncello’s lawyers are drawing up papers to transfer the stewardship of ‘his’ library to its new board of trustees.” “That’s you and your friends, right?” said Marjory.

“Yes. The League of Concerned Library Lovers will make certain that the new Alexandriaville Public Library undertakes a major course correction and no longer subjects children to corrupting influences and mindless frivolity.” “And to think,” said his uncle, “Luigi’s unraveling really started with one book. The one you plucked off the shelf for me, Marjory. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” “How did you know losing Flora and Ulysses would have that effect on him, Mr. Peckleman?” asked Marjory.

The old man cackled. “Because Luigi’s smart. He figured out that one of you library-loving kids was helping me hoard every single copy of that terrible book. It broke his heart. Crushed his spirit.” “Well…”

Andrew could hear a slight quaver in Marjory’s voice. She took a deep breath.

“I’m very glad I could help you two save a library from turning into a cheap, Floo-powdered World of Wizardry tourist trap,” she continued, her voice shaky. “However, now that Mr. Lemoncello is relinquishing control, we should take back that book I borrowed. Maybe I can drop it off in the sidewalk book-return slot when no one is watching.” “No need for us to do that, dear,” said Andrew’s uncle.

“I disagree,” said Marjory. “I can’t just walk back into the library with the book.” “Of course not. What I meant to say is there is absolutely no need for us to ever take back a single copy of that particular book. The library has plenty of other books. No one will miss one more.” “It’s true,” said Mrs. Chiltington. “There are so many wonderful children’s books. I have suggestions for others we should stock, as well.” “But Flora and Ulysses won the Newbery Medal,” said Marjory. “There should always be at least one copy on the shelves in any library.” “Perhaps,” said Mrs. Chiltington. “Perhaps not. It seems rather childish to me.” “It’s a children’s book. It’s meant to be childish.”

“Miss Muldauer,” said Mrs. Chiltington, “I’m sure our new librarians will give your concerns about this Flora and Ulysses the attention they deserve. However, since you live in Michigan and not here in Ohio, you may not be fully aware of our local tastes and opinions about which books do and do not belong on our library shelves.” “Besides,” said Andrew’s uncle, “I don’t like that book. It’s one of the worst of its kind.” “There are other books that I don’t like,” added Mrs. Chiltington. “For instance, that Yertle the Turtle. It is rather subversive. Not at all what our children need to be reading if we expect them to grow up properly. There are also some local history books that are quite biased in their interpretation of the past. One entitled Ohio River Pirates and Scallywags, for instance, is full of lies, innuendo, and misinformation. It should, once again, be pulled from the shelves.” “B-b-but…,” stammered Marjory.

“Thank you, Miss Muldauer, for all your help. Thanks to you, our lovely new library shall soon become a true library. With none of Mr. Lemoncello’s lunacy.” Andrew quickly swept away from the door.

He couldn’t believe his ears.

His great-uncle-twice-removed and Mrs. Chiltington were trying to ban certain books from the Alexandriaville Public Library.

Books they didn’t like.

The two of them were nearly as bad as all those book burners and banners Andrew used to hate back when he loved libraries.

Which, actually, he still kind of did.