فصل بیست و پنجم

CHAPTER 25

STELLA

I thrash, icy water all around me as I try to swim to the surface. My coat is so heavy, the water clings to it, dragging me farther and farther down into the deep. I frantically unzip it, starting to slide out of it when I see Patches, floating away. My lungs burn as I gaze up at the light from the hole that I fell through, the thin cord from the oxygen concentrator a guide to the surface.

But then I look over to Patches.

My body sinks deeper and deeper, the cold pushing the air out of my lungs, bubbles pouring out of me and up to the surface.

I go for the panda, reaching desperately for him, my fingertips grazing his fur. I cough, the last of my oxygen leaving my body, my head pounding, and the water fills my lungs.

My vision blurs and darkens, the water changing in front of my eyes, slowly morphing into a black sky, tiny pinpoints of light appearing.

Stars.

The stars from Abby’s drawing. They swim toward me, surrounding me, and circling all around me. I float among them, watching as they twinkle.

Wait.

This isn’t right.

I blink, and I’m back in the water, strength filling my body as I pull with everything in me back to the top. A hand reaches out to me, my fingertips wrapping desperately around it as I’m heaved effortlessly out of the water.

I lie there, gasping, and sit up, looking around.

Where’s Will?

Reaching up, I feel my hair. Dry. I touch my shirt and my pants. Dry. I lay my palm flat on the ice, expecting to feel the cold. But . . . nothing. Something is wrong.

“I know you miss me, but this is taking it a little far,” a voice says from beside me. I look over, taking in the curly brown hair, hazel eyes identical to mine, the familiar smile.

Abby.

It’s Abby.

I don’t understand. I throw my arms around her, hugging her to make sure she’s real. She’s really there. She’s—wait.

I pull back and look around me, at the frozen pond, at the stone footbridge. “Abby. Am I . . . dead?” She shakes her head, squinting. “Eh . . . not quite.” Not quite? I am so happy to see her, but the relief at her words overwhelms me. I don’t want to die yet.

I want to actually live my life.

We both hear a splash somewhere in the distance. I turn, looking for the source of the sound, but don’t see anything. What was that noise?

I strain my ears and that’s when I hear it, like an echo, somewhere in the distance.

His voice.

It’s Will’s voice, ragged, coming between sharp, shallow breaths. “Hold on, Stella!” I look at Abby, and I know she hears it too. We look down as my chest starts to slowly expand and fall, expand and fall, over and over and over again.

Like I’m getting CPR.

“Not . . . now. Come . . . on, not now. Breathe,” his voice says, clearer now.

“What’s happening?” I ask her, watching as the view in front of me starts to slowly change. Will. His silhouette begins to form, close enough to touch.

He’s leaning over a body.

My body.

I watch as he shivers, coughing, his body swaying as he starts to collapse. Every single breath is a struggle, and I watch as he gasps for air, trying desperately to fill his lungs.

And every breath he gets, he gives to me.

“He’s breathing for you,” Abby says as my chest expands again.

With each breath he blows into my lungs, the view in front of me grows more and more vivid. I can see his face turning blue, every breath painful.

“Will,” I whisper, watching as he struggles to push the air through my body.

“He really loves you, Stell,” Abby says, watching. As the scene sharpens, she fades.

I turn to her, frantic, feeling again the loss that keeps me up at night. The unanswered question.

Abby smiles at me, shaking her head, already far ahead of me. “It didn’t hurt. I wasn’t scared.” I take a deep breath, letting out a relieved sigh that I’ve been holding for more than a year now. My chest heaves suddenly, and I begin to cough, water pouring out of my mouth.

I watch as my body, just a few feet away, does the exact same thing.

Abby smiles wider now. “I need you to live, okay? Live, Stella. For me.” She starts to fade and I panic. “No! Don’t go!” I say, grabbing on to her.

She holds me tight, hugging me close to her, and I can smell the warm, flowery scent of her perfume. She whispers in my ear, “I’m not going far. I’ll always be here. Just an inch away. I promise.”