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On Hiring, Staying Employed, and Firing

I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.

—Estée Lauder It’s a huge testament to Nasty Gal that so many people want to work there. I’m incredibly proud of the team that I’ve hired. You would be hard-pressed to find a harder-working, more creative bunch of freaks anywhere in the world.

In my relatively short career, I’ve hired and been hired multiple times, fired and been fired a few times, and stayed employed once (yay, Nasty Gal!). That qualifies me to give advice on all three.

On Hiring

I was always able to get a job—although keeping it was sometimes a different story. Even when I applied for a minimum wage job at the outlet mall, I handed in a résumé with my application, and that résumé always had an objective neatly typed out at the top, such as “To procure a sales position at a respected retail establishment.” If I dropped an application off and wasn’t able to speak with the manager in person, I always followed up with a phone call, or dropped by again to annoy the establishment into remembering me. I hit the manager with everything that I had, convincing him or her that I wanted nothing more in the world than a chance to spend my afternoons helping old ladies slide their feet into a pair of orthopedic pumps.

And that’s my first rule of hiring: Although playing hard to get might be cute in the dating world, it won’t fly with potential employers. They don’t have time to court you, so you had better romance the hell out of them. Competition is stiff—particularly in a tight job market and tough economy—so unless you can sweep someone off his or her feet, unemployed you will stay. Ideally, you’ll be applying for a job that you genuinely think is interesting and exciting. If you’re not, #GIRLBOSS, then fake it till you make it.

The Necessary Evil: Cover Letters

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

—Leonardo da Vinci

I love cover letters. Yes, they’re painful to write—and trust me, often painful to read—but a cover letter is your first opportunity to make an impression on your future boss. As an employer, when I go through hundreds of applications from people who all have very similar-sounding education and experience, cover letters are the only glimpse I have into a person’s personality. Cover letters separate the #GIRLBOSSes from the girls. That said, few people seem to know how to make a cover letter sing. It’s incredible how low the bar is, so you’re in luck! I’m about to help you navigate the weird, unnatural world of putting your best foot forward in a few paragraphs.

Cover Letter Mistake #1: The cover letter is all about what you want. Nasty Gal gets so many cover letters that detail a “passion for fashion” and then proceed to talk about how this job will help the applicant pursue her interests, gain more experience, and explore new avenues.

If a cover letter starts out like this, I usually end up reading the first couple of sentences before hitting the delete button. Why? Because I don’t care about what a job will do for you and your personal development. I know that sounds harsh, but I don’t know you, so the fact that you want to work for my company does not automatically mean that I have an interest in helping you grow your career. I have a business that is growing by the day, so I want to know what you can do for me. It’s as simple as that.

Cover Letter Mistake #2: Your cover letter basically says that nothing you’ve ever done is even remotely applicable to the job you’re applying for. When we posted a job for a copywriter a while back, I remember reading an application from someone who had graduated with an MFA in fiction from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, one of the most prestigious writing programs in the country. This is what stood out the most to me about her résumé, but it wasn’t even mentioned in her cover letter. A cover letter can connect the dots between where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’re trying to go.

Unless you spell out what that is in your cover letter, your potential employer may never know. If you’re light on extracurricular activities coming out of college because you had to work forty hours a week to pay for it, then by all means make sure that it’s obvious. Someone who shows evidence of financial responsibility and work ethic can be just as impressive, if not more so, than someone who was president of the Bowling Society or secretary of the Wine Tasting Club. Even if you’re applying to work at a bowling alley that serves only wine. (Okay, maybe not then.)

Cover Letter Mistake #3: You give so-called constructive criticism—without being asked. When I’m interviewing people, I’ll often ask what they think Nasty Gal could be doing better, and I am genuinely interested to hear what they have to say. But detailing the ways that you think a company needs to improve in a cover letter is like meeting someone for the first time and telling her that you think she’d be so much cuter if she lost just five pounds. It’s distasteful. You would be surprised to learn how often people think that dedicating their entire cover letter to detailing Nasty Gal’s flaws is a good idea. It’s not. I always want to write these people back and say, “Opinions are like assholes; everybody’s got one.” But I don’t, because I’m a #GIRLBOSS so I keep it professional-ish.

Cover Letter Mistake #4: Either you didn’t take the time to read it, or you just really, really can’t write. In Jason Fried’s book Rework, he writes that one of the smartest investments a business can make is in hiring great writers, and I completely agree. No matter what you are hired to do, you will be infinitely better off if you are able to clearly communicate your ideas. We can’t all be Shakespeare, but spend some time on your cover letter and have someone else look it over to make sure it reads well. If it looks like you don’t care about your cover letter and rushed through it, then I’m going to assume that you will be just as careless in your work.

On that note, another piece of advice: Spell-check exists for a reason; use it, but don’t rely on it. If you don’t know the difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re,” you’re in bad shape. We’re lucky enough in the United States to get by with only having to know one language, so nail the one we’ve got! If I have to read another e-mail that begins with “I’ve followed Naty Gal since the eBay days,” I will throw myself out the window. As we are only on the third floor, that means that I will have to deal with a really gnarly sprained ankle and it will be all your nonthinking, non-spell-checking fault.

The Résumé: More Than Just a Bunch of Mumbo Jumbo

There is no question that putting together a résumé sucks. How can one boil down all of one’s skills, experience, intellect, and advantages onto one piece of paper? I know it’s weird, but it’s a currency we all have to accept. Regardless of how lame you think the concept of a résumé is, you should still make sure that yours is as far away from lame as you can possibly get. As a visual person, I love a creative résumé. I’m not a fan of templates—putting a little effort in on the design side will show that you care as much as I do about things looking good.

I like real words on a résumé—that means I want to read it and understand it. If you had a job as a marketing manager, be very didactic when you’re listing what you did. “Built brand relationships within the creative community”—really, what does that mean? “Curated artwork, booked bands, secured beverage sponsors, and oversaw budget for an ongoing series of monthly art exhibits”—now, that makes sense, and also tells me that you’re able to navigate the practicalities that are necessary to bring your ideas to life. We don’t need people who just have ideas; we need people who can also execute them. If you’ve made some shit happen, make sure your résumé reflects that—this is one of the few places where it’s actually good to brag a bit.

The Interview: Don’t Blow It

You wrote a cover letter that was so good it made my mascara run, and now you have an interview. Have you ever walked into a party and felt like everyone was staring at you in judgment? This is why you should not smoke weed at parties. But in all seriousness, at a job interview, this is exactly what happens. Job interviews are intense, and unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all study guide for breezing through them. You can say all the right things, have all the right experience, and still not be the right fit for a job. There are millions of other unpredictable behind-the-scenes reasons a job does or does not work out.

When someone’s right for a role, sometimes both parties just know. After a long and grueling search for a marketing position, I finally met someone who I clicked with right away. We had lunch on Thursday, brunch on Sunday, and on Monday he came by the office and left with an offer letter in his hand. He is a little bit wacko (and so am I) and though professional, there wasn’t much pretense. I liked that he understood Nasty Gal, was excited about the brand, and was an abstract thinker. His ideas weren’t just like everyone else’s. When I made him an offer, he said, “You’re out of your mind!” He meant it as a compliment, and I took it as such.

A #GIRLBOSS knows that she may not nail it on the first try, and that’s okay. Remember to be open and keep your head up when something doesn’t work out. However, even the best of us can suffer sweaty armpits and a dry mouth during an interview. Here are a few things to know that will hopefully make it easier.

Networking Is Not Just for Creeps

LinkedIn has made it easier than ever before to connect with people who can help you get ahead. Whether they are doing what you want to be doing, or working where you want to be working, it can be as simple as a “Hey! I came across your profile and would love to grab a coffee sometime. Your experience is really interesting.” You can go into a little detail about why you think they’re interesting, or what you’re working on, but some flattery never hurts. As an admitted “beast” on LinkedIn, I know this from experience. I’ve hired C-level executives on LinkedIn, creatives on Facebook, and even an intern on Instagram. Treat your LinkedIn profile like an online résumé. Please do not wear sunglasses in your profile photo or self-identify as “visionary.” No profile at all is better than a half-completed one that you stopped caring about after getting thirteen connections. Again, a LinkedIn profile can be a first impression, so if it looks like you don’t pay much attention to detail, a recruiter can only assume that you’d take the same approach with your job.

I will tell you that networking is yet another subject where my mantra of “You don’t get what you don’t ask for” applies. I’m friends with Mickey Drexler, the CEO of J.Crew, not because we were introduced (though that would have been much cooler), but because I hunted him down, and hunted him down again. He’s a great friend and mentor now, and all it took was a nice e-mail to get some of the best business advice I’ll ever have.

Be Prepared to Get Real

I didn’t always get the jobs that I applied for. When I applied at Nordstrom, I didn’t get the job because they asked me real questions, such as What did I want out of my career? If you’re going into a job interview, you should always be prepared to have smart answers to smart questions but also smart answers to dumb questions, and it doesn’t hurt to practice. Someone will likely ask you, “What do you like to do in your free time?” and even if your hobbies include watching reruns of Roseanne, you should have a more appropriate answer prepared. The more interesting, memorable, and even unusual that answer is, the better, because as much as your potential employer wants you to be a total rock star at your job, she is also considering you as someone with whom she is going to end up spending eight hours a day.

One of the most standard interview questions is “What do you think is your biggest weakness?” It’s a question that I ask often, and I want people to answer honestly. Do not answer this question by disguising one of your strengths as a weakness. When people answer me with “My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist,” or “I’m always early to meetings,” I just groan (but only on the inside; I’m not that rude) and figure that these are people who aren’t really being honest with themselves. I like honesty and I value curiosity, and people who are honest and curious aren’t generally impeccable. A #GIRLBOSS knows where she excels and where she could use some work, so get to know yourself and your weaknesses. And as you can’t predict every question you’re going to be asked, become familiar with the role you are interviewing for and prepare. Research the company and the job itself, and spend some time thinking about what you, personally, can bring to the table. Also, be up-front about what you want. Employment is a two-way agreement, so let’s be adults. If you are looking for a job that doesn’t include certain factors, speak up. The last thing you want is to show up on day one and find out that the job you thought you wanted was in fact the total opposite.

But Not Too Real

I’ve interviewed so many people by now that I swear I can smell crazy a mile away. If you go into too much detail about how you parted with your previous employer, it’s a red flag. Even if your boss was a raging lunatic, or you found yourself in a position where you had to work twenty-hour days, if you launch into this in an interview, you will come across as an entitled complainer—and an indiscreet one, to boot. I recently interviewed someone who described why she had left her previous two jobs: She left one because she got tired of going to the same place every day, and she left the other one because she asked for an assistant and her boss said no. Hello? If we hire you, you’re going to have to come here every day, and you basically just explained that you bail whenever you don’t get what you want.

Also, even though our office is a pretty casual environment, don’t interpret this as a free pass to be informal. One of our employees recently interviewed someone, and the first thing the candidate said to her when she walked in the room was, “Oh, you look comfy.” And . . . done. If you’re nervous and don’t know what to say, just say nothing. Making small talk about what someone is wearing is just another form of unsolicited feedback. Knowing when to speak up and when to shut up will get you very far not only in business, but in life.

It also always causes me to raise an eyebrow when someone says he or she has been a consultant for the past few years, but can’t elaborate on that or put it into concrete accomplishments. It’s a mistake to try to bluff about your experience because such posturing usually starts to crack after a few smart questions. But if you were legitimately freelancing, consulting, or running your own business for a while, that says a lot about you. As an entrepreneur, I have a ton of respect for anyone who’s willing to give working for themselves a go. Even if you eventually decided it wasn’t for you, this kind of experience can still make you stand out.

Interview No-No’s That May Doom You to Unemployment

Chewing gum Bringing things with you—a beverage, a pet, a boyfriend, a child Leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms Staring at the floor, out the window, or at the interviewer’s boobs Picking your nose or your nails Having your phone even visible Having zero questions Asking so many questions that it seems like you’re interviewing the interviewer Not writing a thank-you e-mail or note—I especially love a handwritten note because to me, someone who knows to have good manners knows how to get what she wants in this world Dressing like you’re headed to a nightclub instead of a job interview As a female, thinking that you don’t have to wear a bra, even if you’re interviewing at a company with a name like Nasty Gal

So You Got a Job? Awesome! Now Keep It!

That’s when I first learned that it wasn’t enough to just do your job, you had to have an interest in it, even a passion for it.

—Charles Bukowski

Nasty Gal is not a traditional nine-to-five company. Everyone here is very passionate about Nasty Gal and believes in what we’re doing. We work hard because we’re a bunch of #GIRLBOSSes (and some #DUDEBOSSes) and we know that we’re working on something that’s bigger than just us. If you’re looking for a job where you can show up, make no impact on the world, and watch a lot of cat videos, this is not the place for you. However, I do know an art school lobby in San Francisco that might be hiring. . . .

As a #GIRLBOSS is ambitious by nature, I’m going to assume that once you get a job, you want to do it well and eventually move up. And though every company is different, here are a few pointers on how to make that happen.

The Four Words Thou Shalt Never Mutter

You want to know what four words I probably hate the most? “That’s not my job.” Nasty Gal is not a place where these four words fly. At the end of the day, we’re all here for one reason and one reason only—to make the company succeed—and there will undoubtedly be a day (perhaps every day) when you will have to roll up your sleeves and dive in where you’re needed. When a company is growing quickly, there will be times when there are holes—there is a job that needs to be done, and there is no one there to do it.

A few years back, our warehouse manager gave his two weeks’ notice exactly two weeks before Black Friday. On Thanksgiving night, our creative director, merchandisers, girls from the buying team, me, and whomever else we were able to round up headed down there and shuffled around a dusty warehouse until 4:00 A.M., scanning and reclassifying all of our inventory so we could ensure that the people who shopped with us on one of the most important retail days of the year actually got the clothes that they ordered. At 2:00 A.M., as I was counting and recounting bustiers, I did not give a shit whether people were creative or whether they loved fashion—I was just thankful to have employees who were willing, even enthusiastic, to step up and work hard.

In an ideal world you’d never have to do things that are below your position, but this isn’t an ideal world and it’s never going to be. You have to understand that even a creative job isn’t just about being creative, but about doing the work that needs to get done. The #GIRLBOSS who is willing to do a job that is below her—and above—is the one who stands out. Above, you ask? Yes. Sometimes you’ll find an opportunity to step in when your boss is out, or just swamped, and show your worth. You’re as smart as she is, anyway, so figure it out as you go and make it look like child’s play. It’s that attitude, and behavior, that will get you ahead.

God—and a Promotion—Is in the Details

Be a nice person at work. It doesn’t matter how talented you are; if you are a total terror to work with, no one will want to keep you around. And the worst kind of mean is selective mean—people who are nice to their boss and superiors, but completely rude to their peers or subordinates. If you are a habitual bitch to the front desk girl, the security guard, or even the Starbucks staff downstairs, that news will eventually make its way up the chain, and the top of the chain ain’t gonna like it.

Own up to your mistakes and apologize for them. Everyone will make a mistake at some point, and the sooner you can admit where you went wrong, the sooner you can start to fix it. Be honest with yourself about yourself and your abilities. Many people accept titles that are beyond their experience to only later find themselves up to their neck in problems they can’t solve, and too embarrassed to admit they weren’t qualified in the first place. And what’s the first rule about holes? If you’re in one, stop digging.

Boundaries, Found

Your boss is not your friend and if you’re the boss, your employees aren’t your friends. I learned this the hard way when I was out to dinner one night with someone who used to report to me. It was right after I bought the Porsche, and I was babbling on about how flashy it was, and how much of a cheese ball I sometimes felt like driving it. However, instead of listening as a friend, she took this honesty about my insecurities as an opportunity to insult, and said, “Well, you know, you’d better be careful, because people are saying ‘Oh, now I’m doing my job to pay for a Porsche.’” While I still don’t believe anyone but the person I was with had an issue with my auto purchase, it quickly had me bawling into my rosé. Yet it taught me a lesson: While it’s okay to be friends with my investor, it’s not okay to be friends with my direct reports. If you need someone to listen as you drag your psyche across the coals, find a friend or a therapist, but don’t do it with someone you’re expected to manage on a daily basis.

At a company like Nasty Gal, which seems very informal and where there are a lot of young people, the managerial lines can sometimes get blurry. If you treat your reports like your peers, your team won’t respect you further down the road when you have to play a trump card or put your foot down. I’ll go for drinks with people, I’ll dance at parties, but at the end of the day people know that when I give someone a deadline, it’s not up for discussion.

You Are Not a Special Snowflake

Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance.

—Joel Stein in Time magazine

From one speed demon to another, let me be straight with you: Slow your roll. You got a job, that’s great, but you need to get your hands dirty and spend time proving yourself before you ask for a raise or a promotion. Four months are not enough, and neither are eight. At the bare minimum, you need to be in your position for a year before you ask for a raise or title change. Even then, that’s if and only if you’ve been going above and beyond, doing work that’s outside your job description, and generally making yourself completely indispensable to your employer.

A lot of people in my generation don’t seem to get that you have to work your way up. An entry level job is precisely that—entry level—which means that you’re not going to be running the show or getting to work on the most fun and creative projects. I’ve heard so many people in their twenties complain about their jobs because they “have so much more to offer,” but first and foremost, you have to do the job that you’re there to do. I don’t care if filing invoices is beneath you. If you don’t do it, who do you think is going to? Your boss? Nope. That’s why she hired you.

I know you’ve probably grown up with your parents telling you that you’re special every day for the past twenty years—it’s okay, my parents did too—but you still have to show up and work hard just like everybody else. If you’re a #GIRLBOSS, you should want to work harder than everybody else.

It takes a lot more than just knowing how to put an outfit together to succeed in the fashion industry, so more power to you if this is where you want to be; just don’t expect it to be an extended trip to the mall. And if you’re a cute girl expecting to just get by on her looks, go apply elsewhere. We’ve already got a ton of cute girls working at Nasty Gal, and they’re all busting ass.

The Firing Line

There is no way around it, and it doesn’t matter which side of the desk you’re on: Getting fired straight-up sucks. One of the many jobs I was fired from was a sales associate job at a luxury shoe store in San Francisco. I was a crummy twenty-one-year-old—not as dirty as I had been, but still not completely clean—hawking shoes by Maison Martin Margiela, Miu Miu, and Dries van Noten with quadruple-digit price tags. At that time I stayed out all night and showed up to work semi-showered, wearing the same red polyester flares day after day as I sold Prada pumps to rich ladies. I didn’t care about Prada and I didn’t get that I was supposed to pretend. As I write this, I am in love with a particular pair of Prada shoes that I am considering buying, so oh how times have changed, but back then I was indignant about it—“Who is spending this kind of money on shoes?”

I made $12 an hour with no commission as these women from Pacific Heights (a pretty chichi neighborhood in San Francisco) would come in and I would have to smile and be all like “Hiiiiiiiiiii, how are youuuuuu? Let me know if there’s anything I can help you withhhh,” while inside I was thinking, I hate you. The store made the salespeople wear the shoes too, so I had a pair of Dries van Noten pumps that were so scuffed they could have been vintage. They weren’t special to me, so I wore them to work and burrito shops alike. On Sundays I worked by myself, and was given thirty minutes to close the store for my lunch break. Time came, I flipped the sign on the door, locked up, and walked down the street to order a hamburger. The burger took forever and I was hungry. This, coupled with my pathetic sense of time, caused me to be super late to open the store back up. When you make $12 an hour and you’re spending $8 on a burger, you had damn well better make it count.

When I finally made it back to the store well past my thirty-minute lunch break, the owner was there. I’d been perpetually late, perpetually grimy, and I’m sure that this had been a long time coming. She collected my key, gave me my final paycheck, and sent me on my way. This was actually the last time that I was fired. Seven years later, I can’t quit and no one can fire me.

Telling Someone “You’re Fired”

Generally I like other people to fire, because it’s always a lousy task.

—Donald Trump

Sadly, it wasn’t too long after I took Nasty Gal off eBay that I had to fire someone for the first time. When I first hired someone to oversee shipping, the business was still just Christina and me. We were twenty-two-year-olds managing a grown man who, on his third day of work, asked if he could leave early because it was “grocery day” for his family. Sweet, but no. It was also apparent that he had never used a computer before. He was completely stumped when a box popped up on the screen. “It says ‘Norton AntiVirus.’ What do I do?” Christina and I both screamed, “Oh my God, just click the ‘X’!” I started to panic, because I had hired this guy to make my life easier and it was clear that this was not going to be the case at all.

We also hired a copywriter who, in my weaker moments, I started to think was a spy sent by a competitor to sabotage the business from the inside—because there was no way in hell his mistakes could be for real. Time after time, I would say, “Please use spell-check and stop having so many typos,” but then everything he wrote looked like it had been done by my poodle who was pecking at the keyboard with her nose.

I knew he had to go, and it was tortuous for me. I read up on all the legal responsibilities of firing someone, and went through all the different scenarios in my head—if he said this, I was going to say that; if he asked that, I was going to explain it like this. When I finally, practically hyperventilating, sat him down and told him we were letting him go, he was totally calm about it. “Okay.” He shrugged. “No problem.” And he left.

The harsh truth is that not everyone you hire is going to work out. It’s impossible to know everything about a person’s talent, judgment, and character without actually working with him or her. In many cases, the people who don’t work out are people about whom I had second thoughts from day one. However, sometimes it is simply a matter of a fast-growing company growing faster than the people inside it. The person who was right for the job a year ago might not be right for the job a year from now. Don’t get me wrong: I’m loyal to every person I’ve hired. But my loyalty lies with the greater business, which means the hundreds of others whose jobs could be at stake if we have the wrong person in the wrong role. I know this sounds harsh, but it’s that level of objectivity that leaders need to have. And leading is, after all, what I’m ultimately here to do.

If someone who is working for you keeps screwing up, make sure you talk to her about it. There’s always the slight off chance that maybe that employee doesn’t know that she is doing anything wrong and it’s something that she can easily fix. Everyone should be given the opportunity to improve. But if you think you’re going to have to fire someone, start documenting everything. People who get fired love to say shit like, “The only reason I got fired was because that bitch didn’t like me.” Chances are that if you’re ready to fire someone, you probably don’t like that person. And that’s okay. Just keep your cool and be professional, because it’s not about that. It’s because someone sucks that you have to do this, not because you suck. If your company has a human resources department, make sure that they’re aware of what’s going on. If you can write someone up, write someone up.

Sadly, sometimes the ship can’t be righted. So when it comes time to actually do it, don’t pussyfoot about and don’t act like a baby. As Voltaire said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” If you want to be a boss and be treated like a boss, then firing someone is in your boss-size job description. Don’t ever try to impress upon the person you’re about to fire how hard the situation is for you, because that person is losing his or her job, so it’s obviously harder on them. Resist the urge to overexplain or even to apologize. Keep it as short and sweet as you possibly can, because the more personal you try to make it, the more personally your soon-to-be ex-employee is going to take it. However, it doesn’t hurt to take a few minutes to put yourself in their shoes, and consider how you would want to be treated if you were in that position. And if you both learn from your lessons, neither of you will make the mistakes that led to that situation again.

Hearing “You’re Fired”

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

—Steve Jobs

Though I was fired a few times, and usually from jobs I couldn’t have cared less about, I still was never like the copywriter who just shrugged and walked out the door. Getting fired was always a big deal to me. It’s a bit like having someone break up with you. Even if you know it wasn’t the right situation, and that you’ll be way better in the long run, it’s still rejection. And rejection sucks.

But getting fired, especially from a job you’re not actually that into, isn’t the end of the world. For me, getting fired from the shoe store was an opportunity to find a job with health insurance. And although I got the job at the art school primarily to fix my hernia, I ended up with a lot more than I bargained for: the inspiration to start something that led me to where I am today.

Getting fired can be a much-needed wake-up call, a push in the right direction, or an escape route. Or it can just plain suck. But no matter what the details of the situation, how much you learn from it is entirely up to you. It can also be the end of the world (or at least feel like it) if you’ve got zero savings. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck already, and all of a sudden there’s no more paycheck, that’s terrifying. I don’t want to get all “told ya so,” but the fact that you could get fired (and almost all of us could get fired) is all the more reason to consistently save 10 percent of those earnings. Instead of calling it a rainy-day fund, let’s call it an oh-shit fund. And you’ll be saying “oh shit” a whole lot less if you’ve got one.

Here is a list of things to not do if you get fired:

Call anyone a bitch or an asshole, or any variations thereof Threaten to sue—if you do think you have a legitimate reason, talk to a lawyer before you do anything Try to get your former coworkers to take your side (as sympathetic as they might be, they’re going to be worried about their own jobs) Take to the Internet to complain or talk shit about your boss or your former employer; people have a lot of Facebook friends these days, and chances are you have a couple on your friend list whom you’ve forgotten about Use the person who fired you as a reference without first asking him or her if it’s cool Draw attention to yourself upon departure; flipping the bird to the executive team on your way out will not make things any better Have your mom or dad call (yep, this has happened)

Now, recently fired #GIRLBOSS, get thee on with thy life! PORTRAIT OF A #GIRLBOSS:

Christene Barberich, Refinery29 Editor in Chief

I always knew I wanted to be a writer and an editor. There never was a choice, it’s all I ever wanted to do. My first real publishing job was as an assistant at the New Yorker, but my editorial training happened at Gourmet magazine. In terms of striking out on my own and being brave in my convictions, I learned that mostly by being freelance. I don’t think you can truly know what you’re made of until you are in charge of your days. How you use that time, and the work you pursue, teaches you so much about who you are and what you can become.

It’s possible I figured out what I wanted to do by people telling me I couldn’t or shouldn’t do it. It’s really astounding how discouraging people can be, especially if it’s something that seems particularly risky. But, you know, risk can be thrilling. I’ve often made hard career choices based on how scared I was of the opportunity. When the stakes are high—I’m talking cataclysmic-level change, success or failure—sometimes you just have to jump, screaming the whole fucking way. I don’t know if there is any greater feeling then proving you are your own biggest advocate. And all that noise out there is seriously just bullshit.

My mom is the hardest worker I know. She taught me that showing up is the most important part of any role. And, of course, my team inspires me hourly! It is because of them that I read a lot and never, ever take anything for granted. Simply by being so smart and curious, they inspire me to be an excellent editor, a courageous leader, and someone who motivates them to create cool and special stuff. When you’re collaborating with other people, it’s important to know what you don’t know and to find the best person in that area to teach you. Be a leader even in teams of one because in the beginning, there’s a lot of that! You have to listen, really listen, and root for other people’s success. That’s a big one. Because it won’t always be you, but eventually, it will be.

For me, creativity isn’t just in my work—it’s how I think and live my life. It’s not necessarily about always creating something new, but simply having the space and freedom to let something special happen. It’s how I bring beauty and joy into my surroundings and my relationships. I like to be challenged; seeing or reading something that opens my eyes or gives me chills is the whole point of everything. My advice to aspiring #GIRLBOSSes: As hard as it is, stop caring so much about what other people think. Find a way to hear what you want. Recognize what is your dream. And then put everything you have into that: your work, the relationships you surround yourself with, the food you put in your body. Everything you have control over in your world should feed that dream and make you feel like a #GIRLBOSS!