فصل 12

12

Find the Spy

The old lollipop room in Hansel’s Haven was still made of lollipops, but they’d been blown up into thousands of rainbow-colored shards and pieced into new murals across the walls.

As students flurried in from the crowded hall, Sophie sat on Professor Sheeks’ old lollipop desk that had been slashed, scarred, beaten into lumps, and riddled with holes. Wearing black-suede stiletto boots and a formfitting, lacy black dress, she studied the murals of herself at her most Evil in The Tale of Sophie and Agatha—riding a rat to slay Agatha during the Good-Evil War . . . invisibly attacking Tedros during the Boy-Girl War . . . throwing Agatha into a sewer . . . pushing Tedros off a cliff . . .

You fought them before, the voice inside her said. You can do it again.

Her hands started to shake.

I can’t, Sophie panicked, looking away. I’m different now.

She waited for the voice inside her to agree, to speak reason and protect her friends . . .

Instead a different voice came this time. Darker. Angrier. Spewing bile.

Like mother, like daughter.

Like mother, like daughter.

Like mother, like daughter.

Like mother, like daughter.

Slowly Sophie lifted her eyes back to Agatha and Tedros, painted on the walls . . . and for a moment she saw Honora and Stefan instead.

Sophie’s hands stopped shaking.

Find the spy, the witch inside whispered.

Find the spy, she obeyed, locking to the task.

A throat cleared loudly.

Sophie looked down at a class of almost forty Evers and Nevers in black-and-green uniforms crammed into seats—Beatrix, Reena, Chaddick, Nicholas, Mona, Arachne, Ravan, Vex, Millicent, Brone among them—all wearing the same putrid scowls.

“Oh hello there, um . . . c-c-class,” Sophie sputtered, startled by both their expressions and the sheer number of students. “It’s been a w-w-while, hasn’t it?” The student’s scowls intensified.

“But we’re a family now, aren’t we?” Sophie fawned, trying a new tactic. “And look at you, so smart in black! Never used to like black (such a nihilistic color), but Lady Lesso said this dress belonged to Rumpelstiltskin’s niece, who used to teach this very same class. Small-boned woman—not surprising since her uncle was a dwarf—so no one’s been able to fit into it until me.” The students looked positively hateful now.

“Um, Lady Lesso said Pollux has been teaching in my absence,” she puttered, “so perhaps we should wait for him to—” Vex let out an angry fart.

Sophie held her breath, appalled.

Find the spy, she refocused. Someone in this room was on Good’s side, trying to help kill the boy she loved . . .

And yet, with their matching scowls, all the students in the room looked equally capable of betraying Evil, Evers and Nevers alike. That is, except for Kiko in a black babushka and veil, sniffling at the back of the room. Sophie glimpsed the small pink ribbon pinned to her uniform: Kiko saw Sophie looking at her and gave her the same horrible glare as everyone else.

“Did someone put frownies in the school gruel this morning?” Sophie simpered, trying to keep her cool.

A spitball hit her in the eye.

Sophie exploded red, not even bothering to look for who shot it. “Look, it’s obvious why you’re all upset, okay? When I first came to this place, you were vile to me, even though I was nothing but nice to each of you, whether greeting you in hallways, enduring your odious hygiene, or educating you about the evils of white flour. And now you’re mad because the most handsome boy in the world gave me his ring, which makes me queen of the school, sitting up here with all the power, while you’re down there, with no power at all. But you know what? Tough tooties. I’ve been alone my whole life, trying to find someone who loves me who won’t leave me, someone who actually likes me for who I am, warts and all. And now I found him! I don’t care if he’s a sorcerer. I don’t care if he’s the most Evil boy in the world! He’s mine and he loves me, even if I’m emotional and complicated and brutally misunderstood. So pout and be mad all you like, but after all I’ve endured in my life, I deserve to have true love, whether you like it or not, and the least you could do is be happy for me!” Silence.

“That’s not why we’re mad,” snapped Beatrix.

“No one gives a hog’s behind if you have a boyfriend,” Mona stabbed.

Sophie pursed her lips. “Oh. Then what’s the problem?”

All the kids turned towards the window. Sophie followed their eyes to the colossal scoreboard over the Blue Forest, listing the students in order of their scores. Glowing red lines divided the board into three sections: a top group, a middle group, and a bottom group. She couldn’t read any of the names through the hazy green air, except for Hort’s, firmly atop the rankings.

“Third year is tracking year,” growled Ravan, picking miserably at his shorn black hair. “Starting next week, we’re split into dorms as Leaders, Henchmen, or Mogrifs, based on our rankings.” “Which means Evers like me have to excel at Evil or we’ll end up poisonous toads!” Millicent carped to Sophie. “This is entirely your fault!” “And it’s no better for Nevers either,” Mona added. “We have twice as many people to compete against now that the whole school is Evil!” “And even if you do end up a Leader, they get double the homework as everyone else,” said Vex.

“And Henchmen have to follow their Leaders and do everything they say,” fretted Reena.

“And Mogrifs have to go to class as animals!” said Beatrix. “And god forbid you fail three challenges in a row. Then you end up a plant!” “What are you upset about? You’re on track to be a Leader!” Kiko said, whirling to her. “I’m third to last in the whole school! Suppose I get turned into a tulip? I can’t even concentrate ever since . . . ever since . . .” She burst into tears. “Tristan adored tulips! Used to put them in his hair.” Kiko blew her nose into her veil. “That boy loved me so much.” “Oh for Pete’s sake, that boy wouldn’t have loved you if you were the last girl on earth,” Beatrix hissed. “Besides, I don’t want to be a leader of Evil, you dimwit! Once upon a time, I was almost Class Captain in the School for Good. And now I have to uglify and curse people and have henchmen?” “Sounds like a typical day for you, actually,” Sophie murmured.

Beatrix gasped.

“Even the School for Boys was better than this,” Chaddick contended. “Sure our castle was a little rank but at least we didn’t have fairies stinging us like bees if we’re a second late and Aric sending us to the Doom Room to be tortured for rules he’s completely made up. He’s punished every boy in school like ten times already.” “He got me for an untucked shirt yesterday,” Nicholas said. “That kid is Evil.” “And not in a Good way,” muttered Vex quietly.

Sophie waited for them to elaborate, but all the boys glanced at each other in tortured brotherhood, before swiveling back to her.

“Everything was fine for the last two hundred years, until you came along and messed up Good and Evil,” barked Ravan.

“Boys and Girls too!” Brone boomed.

“I hope Agatha and Tedros break in and kill the School Master!” seethed Arachne. “I hope they bring Good back!” “Bring Good Back!” Beatrix shouted, and all the students stomped their feet in solidarity, cheering along: “Bring Good Back! Bring Good Back!” Sophie gaped, speechless. How could she find the spy for Good if all of them were on Good’s side?

“That’s your job, you ninny—” a sharp nasty voice echoed outside.

The door flew open and three students pattered in, tittering loudly.

“—to follow me around and do whatever I say,” grouched a pasty girl with dirty hair streaked black and red and a fearsome buck-horned demon tattooed around her neck.

“Hope I get tracked as a Leader and you as my Henchman,” retorted an albino girl with a throaty rasp and three black rats sticking out of her pockets. “I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life kissing my—” “Daddy said he’d buy me a new horse if I made Leader,” chirped a girl behind them, round as a balloon, snacking on a bundle of chocolate daisies. “Killed my last one by accident.” “Sat on it?” scoffed the albino.

“Fed it too much fudge,” said the round girl.

Suddenly all three girls stopped in their tracks and craned their heads to Sophie. They broke into toothy smiles and dropped into their seats in unison, hands folded over their bags.

“Sorry we’re late,” said tattooed Hester.

“Castor made us clean up after a dragon in Henchmen,” said albino Anadil.

“Dragons poo a lot,” said paunchy Dot, mouth full.

Sophie nearly leapt off the desk to hug her old roommates. “Oh praise heavens! My real friends,” she beamed, so relieved to see the three smiley witches against the sea of snarls. “At least someone’s happy to see me!” “I wouldn’t go that far,” Hester mumbled. She started opening her book bag—then noticed the furious faces around her.

“Oh here we go,” she moaned. “For the last time, you’re all in the School for Evil now and that means you’re fighting for Evil. Look at me: Aric stabbed a blade in my stomach during the Trial and now I obey his every word. You want to stay alive? You want the sun to stop melting? Then do what the teachers say and help Sophie kill Agatha and Tedros.” “I thought Agatha was your friend,” Ravan sniped.

“Excuse me? These are my friends,” Hester said, pointing to Anadil and Dot with a glowing red fingertip. “The coven everyone fears and yet wants to be in. The clique that doesn’t give a damn what you think. The sinful, sinistral, all-around-original Three Witches of Room 66.” “Dot’s even fat again,” Anadil quipped.

Dot frowned.

“Sure, Agatha was likable in a handicapped-dog kind of way,” Hester went on, “but I learned my lesson when I almost died at Aric’s hands defending her. All I ever wanted was for Evil to have a normal school again, where we learn Evil things and learn to be better villains than my incompetent mother was. And now because of Sophie, we don’t just have one Evil school, we have two.” “Plus for the first time, villains can have a Never After!” Dot reveled. “You know what that means, don’t you?” She gave Ravan a wink. “Evil Valentine’s Day!” Ravan gagged.

“And if we don’t want love, that’s fine too,” said Anadil, with a repulsed look. “Once Sophie’s storybook closes, Evil will prove it can win, with villains no longer cursed to die.” “Here’s to free Evil!” hollered Hester.

“Here’s to free will!” hooted Dot.

“Here’s to Queen Sophie!” Anadil proclaimed, banging fists loudly on her desk, as Hester and Dot chanted and three black rats squeaked: “Here’s to Queen Sophie! Here’s to Queen Sophie!” No one else joined them.

“Did the ‘Bring Good Back’ cheer already, didn’t they?” Dot sighed.

Sophie smiled at her three witch champions. At least she knew who wasn’t the spy.

The door flew open behind her and an obese pink flamingo stumbled in—or rather most of an obese pink flamingo, since a dog head was attached to its body, trying and failing to navigate it. “Apologies for the late arrival,” he smarmed, resting awkwardly against a wall. “Castor was feeling ill, so I took over his Henchmen class and led the students in a rousing anthem I’ve composed for Lord Aric, our illustrious Dean. Would you like to hear it? It’s best performed by a 52-piece symphony and soprano choir, but I’m sure I can replicate the effect—” He saw Sophie at the teacher’s desk. “Oh. Hello . . . former student,” the dog sniffed.

Sophie glowered at Pollux, one half of a two-headed Cerberus who routinely lost the battle to use their body to his rabid brother Castor. She could have gone the rest of her life without seeing this oily, spineless, brown-noser again, who’d clearly buttered up Aric in order to avoid being imprisoned with the rest of the Good teachers, just like he’d buttered up Evelyn Sader last year to avoid being evicted with the Boys. Even worse, Pollux was clearly lying about why he was late, since her three witch friends said they were just helping Castor clean up dragon poo.

“Would you like to take a seat amongst your kind?” Pollux jabbed, as if reading her thoughts. “I assumed you’d leave the class to me since it has been mine the past few weeks.” “I’m quite fine where I am,” Sophie retorted, suddenly happy to be a teacher if it meant riling up this boob. She turned back to the class. “Might you tell me what you’ve been learning, students?” “The Tale of Sophie and Agatha, inside and out,” said Hort, rolling into the room without books or a bag, his hand slid up his shirt, showing off his rippled stomach. “You know, trying to spot Agatha’s and Tedros’ weaknesses, so we can kill ‘em and finally stop being losers.” He dropped into a seat, blew his dark bangs out of his glittering black eyes, and stretched his chest with a yawn.

Sophie goggled at Hort’s broad shoulders, casual stubble, and laid-back slouch. In a month, he’d gone from wimpy, earnest pipsqueak to teenage heartthrob. She noticed all the other girls slyly checking him out, Evers and Nevers both. It must be a makeover spell, she thought, watching him toss his hair. Or a twin brother or a deal with the devil or something . . . Hort caught her looking and scowled at her murderously like he had in the foyer. Sophie stiffened and pretended to listen to Pollux.

“As Hort points out, the first week we did a unit on Tedros’ shortcomings as a prince,” the dog said, plopping on the teacher’s desk and shoving Sophie over. He waved a wing and the lollipop colors on the walls rearranged to scenes of Tedros’ worst moments from The Tale of Sophie and Agatha. “And what did we learn class? Yes, Hester!” “He has serious daddy issues,” Hester said, leering at a painting of Tedros killing a gargoyle in Merlin’s menagerie.

“Excellent! Yes, Anadil?”

“He doesn’t trust girls since his mother left him,” said the albino, pointing at a painting of Tedros shooting an arrow at Agatha in Evil’s Grand Hall.

“Spot on! Yes, Dot?”

“He’s obsessed with swords,” chimed Dot, nodding at a scene of Tedros almost kissing Filip in a forest.

Pollux blinked at her. “Moving on to our challenge . . .”

Thoughts of Hort fell away as Sophie studied the painting of her and Tedros together when she was Filip. He’d been so vulnerable with her when she was a boy, so nurturing and soft, and she’d seen the real Tedros underneath his macho facade. They’d become so close in that short time, blood and soul mates, like she and Agatha once upon a time. Sophie blushed, reliving the moment when he finally touched her in the Blue Forest. It was all based on a lie, of course. Tedros would have never opened up to her if he’d known who she was. She’d lost that Tedros forever . . . that perfect, beautiful boy who’d tried to kiss his best friend . . .

Sophie scorched red. Tedros wanted to kill Rafal and she was blushing over him?

You have a new love, she gritted, pinching her thigh hard. Stop thinking about old ones.

“So with all this in mind,” Pollux prattled, his bird bottom shunting Sophie to the edge of the desk, “today’s class challenge is to delve even deeper into Tedros’ mind. In a moment, all of you will be concealed under magical Tedros masks. Since Sophie insists on playing ‘teacher,’ she’ll be responsible for judging who most acts like the real prince. Whoever she deems the most Tedros-like wins first rank.” He rammed Sophie off the desk, knocking her to the floor.

“Shall we?” he snipped down at her.

A few minutes later, Sophie stood, blindfolded with a smelly black rag, as she listened to students rearrange seats.

The spy must be Tedros’ friend if they’re going to help him break in, she thought. And the spy is the only one who’s been in touch with him since he vanished. Which meant that whoever won this challenge, whoever knew Tedros well enough to mimic him, would surely be the prime suspect.

“Everyone find a new place? We don’t want Sophie remembering where you were,” Pollux’s voice called, before she heard the last backside plunk down. “All right. The cloaking spell will cover your face in a phantom mask. Don’t touch or it might glue to your face permanently. You hear me? Don’t touch.” “This school is so unsafe,” Reena’s voice crabbed.

“Ready?” Pollux said. “One . . . two . . . three—”

Sophie heard a loud, windy crack, and then dead quiet.

“The masks are hot,” Ravan’s voice grumped.

“And blond,” Hester’s voice groaned.

“Shhhhh!” hissed Pollux. “Sophie, on your mark . . . get set . . . go!” Sophie flung off the blindfold.

If she’d blushed pink before looking at Tedros’ face on the walls, now she was as pink as Pollux’s feathers.

There were forty Tedroses seated in front of her, reflecting back his crystal-blue eyes, fluffy gold locks, and tan, flawless skin. Yet, there was a strange haziness to the faces, rubbery thick and oddly luminous at the edges, so she couldn’t discern the necks and clothes beneath the masks. Some of the Tedroses were smiling, some sneering, some frosty and blank eyed, but as she scanned the sum of these gorgeous princes, Sophie felt her cheeks burning even hotter.

Stop blushing, you idiot! Tedros isn’t your friend anymore! No, he was the boy who’d rejected her for her best friend; the boy who wanted to kill her true love; the poster boy for Good who had a spy working against her in this very room . . .

“Well?” Pollux huffed.

Sophie braced herself and waded into the sea of princes. One by one, she analyzed them, but it only took seconds to see the fraudulence each time. The smile was too snarky or dopey, his posture too rigid or slouched or there was a flicker of self-doubt—a hang of the head, a bob of the throat—that the real Tedros never had. One Tedros nearly fooled her in the second row, but he flinched as she made eye contact, and the real Tedros would have held his stare, strong and unyielding, until your heart turned to putty and you were his. None of the others around him even came close and soon she was in the final row, no closer to finding Good’s spy . . . until the last Tedros stopped her cold.

She locked into his steady blue eyes, sparkling with mischief. He bit his juicy lower lip and cocked a brow, almost more Tedros than Tedros himself, and Sophie felt a flash of fire rip through her body.

This one, she thought, girding her loins. This is the one that knows him best. This is the spy.

She leaned in teasingly, daring the spy at his or her own game. But the closer she drew, the more she felt the warmth off the prince’s dewy skin and smelled that stirring mix of mint and wood, until Sophie’s heart began to hammer and she knew this wasn’t a spy—this was him, the real him, and he’d ditched Agatha to be with her! Stunned, panicked, exhilarated, she hugged him with a gasp: “Teddy, it’s you!” Rubber instantly melted to skin and Hort glared back at her.

“Don’t touch.”

Sophie recoiled in shock—

A “1” rank exploded over Hort’s head in a crown of green smoke, as rankings popped up over everyone else, their masks melting away over their usual faces.

“Well done, Hort!” Pollux said. “You’ll no doubt help our queen kill the real Tedros.” “No doubt,” said Hort, still staring daggers at Sophie.

“I’m so going to end up a pea shoot,” Kiko mewled behind him, a black-cloud “20” raining on her head.

Sophie was in such a fog that by the time she’d gathered her wits, the fairies had clamored and the students were all rushing out the door into the crowded hall. Punch-drunk, she lumbered after them still trying to grasp how Hort had become Tedros and Tedros back to Hort and why she’d tried to hug Tedros at all— Three witches suddenly scooted past her doorway.

“Almost caught us on dragon poo!” Dot whispered.

“I told you we should have a different excuse,” Hester growled.

“No one noticed a thing,” shushed Anadil.

Sophie shook off her daze and hurried after her former roommates, eager to debrief like they always did. “Hey! Wait up!” she called excitedly— But instead of waiting, the three witches stopped dead at the sound of her voice and scurried ahead even faster than before.

Alone in the doorway, Sophie watched them blend into the black-robed mob, her smile slowly flattening, at a loss to explain why her only three friends at this school had just acted like they weren’t her friends at all.