فصل 10

CHAPTER 10

A LIFE WORTH LIVING

Manifesting your dreams begins with the difficult task of discovering what they truly are. As children, we follow the footsteps of our parents and teachers. Most of us accept their guidance and wisdom about what classes to take in school. They influence our choice of hobbies, sports, and clubs that fill up our free time. As we get older we often choose our careers and our mates based on ideals established by our elders. But at what point do we stop listening to these external voices and tune in to our inner guides? When do we decide that perhaps the path we’re on is not really our own? Could this be the reason we feel something is missing in our lives?

These are the kinds of questions we fear most because they require us to second-guess what we’ve been taught. Have you ever questioned your belief in God? For some, to question holy doctrine is a mortal sin. But if we don’t challenge our most basic beliefs we won’t grow as spiritual beings. Our lives will simply run along lines established by our parents, and we’ll never go beyond those boundaries that were set when we were kids. This chapter is about stepping out into unknown territory. It will guide you towards manifesting a life of greatness and serenity. Instead of saying, “I can’t do that,” you need to ask, “Why shouldn’t I do that? What am I afraid of?” That question challenges the ties that bind you. This chapter is dedicated to finding your life’s purpose.

Questioning whether you’re on the right path may sound easy. The difficult part is hearing the answer from the heart. Your head will have one response, but your heart may have another. Fear may urge you to maintain your current direction, yet love may urge you to take a turn. You must quiet your mind to hear your highest calling. You must open your heart to find where love resides. If you choose to follow your passions and desires, then you must be still enough to hear the answers from your soul. Walk out only as far as you can stand with your head above water and the scenery will always look the same. Dare to venture into deeper waters and a magical world awaits you.

But we’re afraid to drown. Afraid to be wrong. Afraid to fail. Are your desires important enough to make you willing to face your fears? Do you want it bad enough? The choice is yours. You can choose to change your attitude from resignation to commitment, from a state of fear to a state of love. The first step is to question yourself, to literally change your internal statements to questions. Change “I am a failure” to “Could I be a success?” Change “I am bored with my life” to “Could I be exhilarated?” Change “My life doesn’t make a difference” to “Could I make a difference in the world?” Our need to be right, to feel safe, stands in our way of this commitment to life. We feel unsafe if we question our motives. Would you rather be right about being powerless or be wrong about your ability to be great? Would you rather be in control of a small sum of money or unsure about how to balance a large bank account? Would you prefer to stay in a job you dislike or risk creating a business you love? Are you happy? Are you following your heart’s desires? If you knew you only had one year to live would you be doing what you are doing now? Would you make the same choices for your life?

Close your eyes and focus on a place deep inside where you feel safe and comfortable. Ask yourself what you’d like to be doing right now in your life. Ask why you’re not pursuing that dream. What are you afraid of? Ask yourself the question I just posed you: what you would do if you only had one year to live? What would you change? Holding the answers in the stillness of your heart, make the commitment to alter your life so that you may manifest your dreams. Make the commitment to always listen and hear your own truth. Make the commitment to let the universe guide you toward your heart’s desire. Just making these commitments will change your life. By doing so you are telling yourself and the universe, “I am worthy of having what I desire and I am going to do what it takes to fulfill my desire.” W. H. Murray wrote: Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would come his way. Whatever you can do, or you can dream, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Without commitment the universe cannot bring forth the events we need to realize our desires.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t commit to what we really desire. We lie in bed at night and pray for a better life, a better body, a better job, but nothing changes. This is because we are lying to ourselves. What we pray for and what we have committed to are often totally different things. We pray for a healthy lifestyle but we are committed to being sedentary. We pray for a rewarding relationship but we are committed to sitting at home. We are most comfortable with the status quo. But when we realize that no one is coming to save us, or do it for us, and that our old wounds are there whether we love them or hate them, then we realize that we’re the ones who have to fulfill our potential. It’s easier to blame others than to take responsibility. “What if I fail? What if it hurts? What will others think of me?” I first got off of drugs a couple weeks before my twenty-ninth birthday. I had chosen the path of drug-induced intoxication for almost fifteen years. My life was full of pain and depression. On the outside I looked like I had it all together, but inside I was dying.

After being released from my fourth treatment center, I finally made a commitment to heal my life. Before this moment whenever I felt a little bad or a little angry or a little lonely I would head right back down the road that was taking me nowhere. But on this one beautiful Miami day, I was driving down the street in my convertible feeling the breeze across my face. I was completely in the present moment, full of gratitude for being alive and being straight.

A vision came to me that I could really heal myself from all my addictions: cigarettes, drugs, food, shopping, and men. I saw myself going around the country, sharing my message of health. I heard myself saying “You can do it, you can have it all, you can heal yourself completely!” My body trembled with emotion. I felt exhilarated and scared at the same time. I felt an overwhelming need to give back all the love and support that had been given to me. At that moment, sitting at a stop light in front of the Aventura Mall in North Miami Beach, I knew that my life could and would make a difference. I knew that if I made a commitment to do whatever it took to work through all my anger, rage, stubbornness, righteousness, to confront my ego and all its grandiosity, I knew that I, Deborah Sue Ford, could give something to this world.

This is the vision that brought me to this point in my life. Whenever I wanted to stop, give up working on my emotional life, a little voice within me would say, “No. You’re not finished. You’re not healed.” Every time I wanted to point my finger and blame another human being, a small voice within would ask, “What is your role in this drama? Why are you bringing this into your life?” Every cell in my body was aligned with my commitment to heal completely. So whenever I didn’t want to go to therapy or attend a seminar or deal with the next layer of my pain I did it anyway, because I was more committed to healing than I was to feeling good all the time.

I went to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, not because I was overweight but because I found myself eating entire chocolate cakes in a sitting. I had taken drugs to change the way I felt, and I began to see how I might easily do the same with food. Because of my commitment, I chose not to substitute one addiction for another. I could have just eaten myself into oblivion, but I chose to deal with the issue. I knew that to truly change my life I was going to have to be uncomfortable for a while. This commitment to heal was the catalyst for my transformation. Without it I would have continued to numb my pain with addictive behaviors.

I want you to know that I’m far from what you might consider perfect. But it’s no longer my mission to be perfect. My mission now is to be whole, to be complete, to be perfect and imperfect at the same time. My mission now is to listen to my inner wisdom and to live my life as fully as possible. My commitment now is to love myself as much as humanly possible, for I know that when I do I will in return be able to love you. The processes I share with you are the ones that ended my suffering and gave me the knowledge and the courage to heal myself completely. If I hadn’t lived from this core commitment, I wouldn’t be writing this book right now. This commitment led me to explore hundreds of different healing modalities. This commitment intuitively guided me to people, places, and experiences that taught me the lessons I needed.

Don’t be afraid if you don’t know what you want. Simply make a commitment to live up to your full potential. Live in the moment, and the universe will show you your unique gifts. Your commitment will guide you to the places you need to go, the books you need to read, and the people who will assist and teach you. There’s an old Buddhist saying, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I’ve had hundreds of teachers appear in my life over the last fourteen years. They’ve shown up in the form of girl-friends, lovers, and business partners. Some of them have shown up as thieves and liars. Everyone that I have formed a relationship with—positive or negative—has come into my life to teach me, guide me, and help fulfill my commitment. My friend Annimika says, “Everyone who comes to your door is coming to heal you.” Even the people who come to my seminars are there to heal me. Understanding this has changed every interaction I have with other people.

I have a friend who is at least a hundred pounds overweight. He constantly tells me how well he eats and that his diet is not the problem. In a sense he’s right. Food is not the problem. The problem is that he lies to himself about his eating habits. He is a food addict and is unwilling to acknowledge it and go for help. Addiction is powerful. Denial is a killer. It kills people’s chances of achieving their goals. When we make a commitment we have to be willing to dig at the roots of our current situations. If you’re really committed to losing weight, then discovering you’re a food addict is a blessing—it’s a necessary step in the process of achieving your goal. But if your first commitment is to believing that you don’t have an eating disorder or that you just have a poor metabolism, it will be very difficult to achieve your secondary desire to lose weight. Dig deep enough to find the true cause of your problem, make your commitment, and your dreams will come true.

Be a warrior when it comes to manifesting your dreams. So many people I’ve met talk about their passions as if they were treasured coins, locked in museum cases. They pray silently late at night for their dreams to come true, but their fears and resignation make them passive. Do you know who gets that coin? It’s the person who makes a plan of action, the person who writes a mission statement. The person who commits. This is the road to a more enlightened life, to living the truth.

My friend John is a thirty-six-year-old songwriter and singer with extraordinary musical talent. When I first started talking to John about his musical gifts he wouldn’t even listen to me. He would say, “Please, stop, I don’t want to think about it.” It took a long time before John admitted he had fantasized about winning a Grammy and performing his music in front of millions of people. But after a while, whenever John spoke about his music and his dreams his entire face began to light up. When he played his songs his passion radiated from deep within him. It was so clear that John’s music was his heart’s desire, and as he began to see it himself, he needed only to manifest it.

One evening I sat down with John and we looked at what underlying commitments he had that would stop him from becoming a best-selling singer and songwriter. We took a sheet of paper and on one side articulated his commitment to becoming a famous singer-songwriter, and on the other side we wrote out all his beliefs that would stop him from fulfilling this dream. Here’s what it looked like: Underlying commitments

I, John Palmer, can’t do this because I’m not talented enough.

It’s not a realistic goal.

It’s not what a good Italian boy would do.

I didn’t study enough when I was taking piano lessons.

I just spent the last five years trying something similar and didn’t make it, so why would I make it at this?

I’m just a kid and I’m not ready to face it.

I don’t have time for unrealistic dreams. I have to get a real job.

All these underlying commitments and beliefs had kept John from ever seriously considering his music as a career. As an outsider I couldn’t imagine why John couldn’t see his talent the way I experienced it. But when we gave a voice to all of his fears, it was easy to see why John never pursued a career in the music industry. John was unconsciously more committed to the obstacles than he was to discovering if his vision had any validity.

We have to unconceal all the beliefs that keep us from attaining our dreams. I call these underlying commitments because they are agreements we have made with ourselves to not reach our true goals. Whether you decide to go after your dreams or not, it’s important to question what’s driving you, as well as what gets in the way of your heart’s desires. If we don’t ask these questions, we’ll continue to sell our lives short. Whether your goal is to diet, to make more money, or to have a better relationship, you need to go back and discover your underlying commitments and beliefs. You don’t need to suppress these beliefs. You need to allow them to exist, so you can choose ones which empower you and leave the rest behind.

Take a moment now and pull out a piece of paper. Write down a goal that you haven’t been able to fulfill. Write down all your beliefs and underlying commitments that relate to that goal. Write them quickly, without trying to think too hard, and they’ll just flow out of you. Then go back and question each one. Is this belief a fact or a judgment? This is a vitally important question. When we went through John’s list it looked like this: Underlying commitments

JUDGMENT: I, John Palmer, can’t do this because I’m not talented enough.

JUDGMENT: It’s not a realistic goal.

JUDGMENT: It’s not what a good Italian boy would do.

JUDGMENT: I didn’t study enough when I was taking piano lessons.

JUDGMENT: I just spent the last five years doing something similar and didn’t make it at that. Why would I make it at this?

JUDGMENT: I’m just a kid and I’m not ready to face it.

JUDGMENT: I don’t have time for unrealistic dreams. I have to get a real job.

Everything in John’s way was a judgment, either his own or that of a friend or family member. And these judgments were running John’s life. Unfortunately, most of us are in the same situation. We allow our internal beliefs to control our lives. It’s interesting to discover that our friends and family can usually be found repeating the same beliefs that we’ve adopted. They convince us, or we convince them that these judgments are true. I was recently at a party with several of John’s friends. When I brought up the subject of his music three different people repeated to me, almost word for word, why John couldn’t make it in the music business. Did John get his limiting judgments from his friends, or did he talk them into believing his own judgments? Either way, John was not making a commitment to his true desires.

The decision to alter your life is serious. After years of working with people, I’ve discovered that many people like to talk about change but are unwilling to let go of behaviors that keep them stuck in negative patterns. Ask yourself if your search for peace, happiness, and wholeness is an ongoing drama, or if you’re ready to take control and be the one that shapes your experiences. No one out there can fix you. But you can fix yourself. You are the one with the power, the answers, and the ability to change your life. And you are the only one.

We spend billions of dollars each year trying to change our bodies, our health, and our relationships, yet most of us are still dissatisfied with some area of our lives. We’re in a constant state of wanting something we can’t seem to reach. This state of wanting, of dreams that never get fulfilled, is the result of pretending we are on our way to somewhere when really we are stalled. How can you have a true desire or a true goal without a plan to achieve the goal? Without the commitment to do whatever it takes to fulfill your goal, it most likely will never come to fruition. Psychologists call this magical thinking. We fool ourselves into thinking we will someday achieve our dreams without ever taking any practical steps. Some people meditate on their desires. Others talk to their friends, visit gurus, or go to church. Some people spend their money on psychics and fortune tellers. And some live vicariously through television and movies while their dreams stay on hold.

All these are simply ways to avoid facing the truth. Prayer without action is not prayer. It’s dreaming. How can God help us if we won’t help ourselves? I once heard a story of a man who had a deep faith in God. He was often heard telling his friends that his chaotic life would work itself out because God would take care of him. One day a huge storm caused serious flooding in the town where this man lived. While other members of the community packed their belongings and fled, the man stayed put, believing that God would take care of him. The water began to seep under his doors and through the windows. A fire truck drove by and rescue workers yelled to the man, “Come on, you can’t stay here!” “No,” he said to them, “God will take care of me!” Soon the water was waist-high, the streets turned to rivers. A Coast Guard boat came past the man’s house. The crew yelled out to him, “Swim out and come on board!” “No,” the man yelled back. “God will take care of me.” The rain kept pouring down until the man’s entire house was flooded. Then a helicopter flew over his house and the pilot spotted the man praying on his roof. Lowering the ladder, the pilot got on the loud speaker, “You, down there, grab hold of the ladder and we’ll take you to safety!” Again, the man proclaimed his conviction: “God will take care of me.” Finally, the man drowned. At the pearly gates of heaven, the man had never felt more betrayed. “My God,” he said, “I put my faith in you and prayed to you for my rescue. You told me you would always take care of me, yet when I needed you most, you were not there.” “What do you mean?” replied God. “I sent you a fire truck, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want?” There is nothing wrong with faith. There is nothing wrong with affirmations. But at some point you must take the next step. Make a commitment to have what you want in life and then make a plan to get it. It’s there waiting for you but most likely it won’t fall into your lap. If you want to know whether you’re serious about changing something in your life, ask yourself if you have a plan of action. If the answer is no, go back and see if you’re really committed to achieving your goal. A plan of action ought to be written down on paper. If it’s only in your mind it may be more of a dream than a plan. Plans in our minds tend to get lost or forgotten, or pushed aside by everyday life. Tell yourself you’ll have more of a chance of achieving your goal if you have it written down and keep it at hand.

Without a plan our desires tease us and leave us feeling empty. Gandhi once said, “I have not the shadow of a doubt that any man or woman can achieve what I have, if he or she would make the same effort and cultivate the same hope and faith. What is faith worth if it is not translated into action?” Most of the suffering I see in people is the result of their not fulfilling their dreams. They spend their days thinking about being in the wrong relationship or not having the right job, and when I ask how they plan to change these aspects of their lives they look at me like I’m kidding. They believe that when they finally “fix themselves” they will easily manifest all their desires. Question this belief.

Making a plan of action is easy. The most difficult part of doing the entire process is taking the time to do it. I suggest you pick one goal that you have been trying to achieve—the goal that seems the least daunting. Then break it down into four parts. A daily plan, a weekly plan, a monthly plan, and a yearly plan. Ask yourself: What can I do on a daily basis to fulfill my goal? What can I do on a weekly basis to fulfill my goal and continue to monthly and yearly? Make a calendar with different projects that will bring you closer to achieving your desired result. When you finish your plan you have set out on the path to truly realizing your dreams.

Recently I worked with a man named Nick who wanted me to figure out why he couldn’t reach the next level of success in his business. He kept telling me that he felt there was something holding him back from really making it to the top. After many hours of conversation I asked him how much money his company brought in on a yearly basis. He told me it was between six and seven million dollars. Shocked, I asked him why he wasn’t happy with this large amount of money. Nick’s answer was that if only he could generate another four million dollars a year in revenue, he wouldn’t have to work so hard. When I asked how much money he made from the six or seven million dollars, Nick said he barely met his payroll. I suggested that maybe this wasn’t about bringing in more money, but about cutting down his overhead so he could see 30 percent profit from this six or seven million dollars. Nick didn’t like what I had to say. He had already decided the only way to really make it big was to bring in more business.

The cosmic joke was that Nick was a business consultant who advised businesses on how to make money. After much discussion Nick mentioned that his father had told him some twenty years earlier that Nick would never make any money and that he’d always spend more than he made. Nick clearly believed his father, and had made an unconscious commitment to honor his father’s words. Now Nick needed to make a new commitment to himself. To be successful he needed to make a 30 percent profit on the revenue he brought in no matter what. Once he made this commitment, Nick started seeing dozens of places where he could cut his overhead but to enact them Nick had to confront many issues in his business, which were difficult to deal with. He had always liked being the kind of boss who never checked anyone’s expenses and didn’t have to adjust anyone’s salary when things got tough. He loved playing the big shot and had tricked himself into believing that meant he was a successful businessman.

So Nick called a meeting with all the top people in his firm and told them he needed their help making the business profitable. He asked them how they could cut the company’s expenses with an eye to making a 30 percent profit. For the first time, Nick allowed all the people in his business to really contribute their opinions. Nick literally had to reinvent himself as a businessman to achieve his goal. He had to take responsibility for the condition of the company and for his ineffective management techniques. It was not an easy process. After a great deal of suffering, Nick realized his commitment to having a huge successful business was coming from his head and not his heart. In the process of reorganizing his business, he started questioning whether he really wanted to live in Central America where he’d gone many years ago to start his company. He also began to question whether he really wanted to keep traveling around the world twenty days a month. Once Nick allowed himself to question his business life, he discovered he was more dissatisfied with his personal life than he had originally thought.

But because Nick made a commitment to overcome the obstacles to his satisfaction and happiness, the universe brought many events into his life that broke down the walls. These events led Nick to discover that his first commitment was not his heart’s desire. Nick was open and ready to receive this information and has now found a new path for his life that fills his soul with peace. He has realized that he never wanted a huge business with lots of employees. He has realized that what he wanted was a wife and a family, and that in order to have that he needed to stay in one place. Nick has made a deeper commitment to his spiritual growth and to forming lasting friendships, which are now vital to his personal fulfillment.

Like many of us, Nick had to go through a lot of pain to discover his heart’s desire. If you have a commitment to alter an area of your life and are not meeting your objective, look at what underlying commitments you are fulfilling instead. You must be willing to discover that some of your desires may be coming from your head and not your heart. Your head will trick you into believing that you want more, better, and different expressions of what you already have. We have to expose these ego-driven desires for what they are, and replace them with desires of the heart.

Go beyond the clamor of your intellect. Like Nick, most of us think that fulfilling the mind’s desires will fill our emptiness. But only when we follow our deeper calling will we find lasting fulfillment. What will bring satisfaction and balance to your life? Who are you in this life and what are you meant to bring to this planet? Most of us have only glimpsed what our souls yearn to express in this life. But many of us have chosen to ignore our calling. Others of us are still waiting, hoping, praying for our chance to express our unique gifts—not realizing that the only moment that exists is now.

Keeping your word is essential to your plan for change. What you say to yourself and others does count. If you tell yourself that you are going to eat healthier foods and don’t do it you are broadcasting to yourself and the universe that you can’t be trusted. If you say you’re going to get a new job next year and don’t do it, you’re sending a message that you can’t be counted on. Even if it’s a small task, like balancing your checkbook, if you don’t do it, you’re saying to yourself and to the universe that you don’t keep your word. These broken promises wear down our self-esteem.

Years ago, I went to a program called the Forum, a three-day personal growth and development seminar. It was there that I learned the value of keeping my word, and as a result my whole life changed. It’s very simple. Do what you say. If you’re not going to do it, don’t say you are. Have your word be the most important asset you have. Treat it like gold. If you treat it like gold it will bring you gold, you will be able to create what you want in the world. Each time you do what you say you’re going to do, you’re training yourself and the universe that you can be counted on. Then when you start to work on larger goals, when you say I am going to make more money, fall in love, write a book, or open a clinic, you will be able to do it.

When we constantly lie to ourselves it’s difficult for us to believe in ourselves. The New Year’s resolutions you never follow through on are just wishes. Your word, if not taken seriously, is nothing but noise. Communication is a great gift but your words have a much greater gift to give you. They can assist you in designing your life. They can give you power and freedom. When you make a commitment to do something for yourself or someone else, and you know you can follow through, you have power. When you want to change something in your life or achieve a goal and you know you’re capable of doing it, you have freedom.

In The Soul’s Code, James Hillman says, “You are born with a character, it is given, a gift as the old stories say, from the guardians upon your birth.” Discovering the gift you were born with, your life’s purpose, is a process. It takes time and a peeling away of the layers that conceal what is rightly yours, your unique imprint. Each one of us has a calling. You have something no one else on this planet has. Your calling might be to heal people, teach people, nurture people, or to discover a cure for cancer. It might be the way you interact with people, it might be an expression of creativity, or it could be raising children. No matter what your purpose, if you commit to finding and fulfilling it, it will fill up your heart and leave you feeling inspired.

Dr. David Simon says:

The concept of dharma, or purpose, holds that there are no spare parts in the universe. Each of us enters the world with a unique perspective and set of talents, which enables us to unfold an aspect of natural intelligence that has never been expressed before. When we are living in dharma, we are in service to ourselves and to those affected by our choices. We know we are in dharma when we cannot think of anything else we would rather be doing with our life. One of the greatest services we can perform for another person is supporting them in the discovery of their dharma. This is one of the most important roles that parents play in their children’s lives.

Don’t panic if you do not know what your dharma or purpose is right now; just begin to do this work and trust the answers you hear from within. Your internal voices are there to guide you to fulfillment. People often ignore their intuition and their inner guides for so long they silence the part of them that can help them the most. When you know you should be doing one thing and you constantly do another, you’re killing your spirit and denying your essence. This makes it difficult to discover your vision. At some point, most of us have seen at least a glimmer of our calling, but for whatever reason we have chosen not to follow it. Now when we think we are ready to see it and live it, it eludes us. You must listen to the part of yourself that has been trying to guide you to your higher purpose. Ask this aspect to reawaken and guide you to do your best. Ask your inner guides to show you your life purpose, and they will. You must unveil your personal calling and remember there is a reason for you to be alive.

When I first got off drugs, I worked in the retail clothing business. The more work I did on myself the more I sensed that I needed to find something new to do with my life. Completely bewildered about what that was, I got on my hands and knees every morning and said the prayer that I learned from the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always!

The ritual of a daily prayer gave me the belief that one day I’d discover my life’s purpose. So when I saw my vision, months later sitting in my car, I knew it was Spirit showing me my path.

Many people deny their calling for fear that they will not reach it. They choose not to see their gift rather than face what looks like an unachievable future. Many people have resigned themselves to never finding their unique gift. But discovering our life’s purpose is truly something to strive for. It is our birthright. Our minds set our only limitations.

I suggest you create a personal mission statement. Write down five to ten words that really inspire you. Then use the words to write a powerful statement that will guide you and keep you on the track of fulfilling your soul’s purpose. The first time I tried this was in “The Advanced Course” offered by Landmark Education. When it was my turn to share my vision for my life, I had no ideas. Then without thinking this came out of my mouth: “I am the possibility that all people can invent themselves from nothing.” At first I didn’t know what I meant. But after some thought, I saw that I truly believed we can each be anything our hearts desire. I also believe that no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve been through, you’re capable of reinventing yourself over and over again. I believe you do not have to stay stuck in old patterns or old behaviors. You can change friends and professions as many times as necessary until you are in a place that expresses your unique imprint.

This mission statement that I created reminds me daily of what I am here to do. It calls on me to become the best I can be and leaves me open to reinventing and expressing a new self as often as I wish. Find a statement that has personal meaning to you. No one else needs to understand or even know your statement. Use it to remind you where you are going and keep you in the present moment.

Gandhi said, “The only devils in the world are those running around in our hearts. That is where the battle should be fought.” Shadow work is about opening your heart and making peace with your internal devils. It is about embracing your fears and weaknesses and finding compassion for your humanity. Give yourself the gift of your heart. As soon as you open your heart to yourself you will open your heart to all others.

You are lovable. You are deserving. You are enough. Trust your inner wisdom and trust that at your core there is goodness. Go beyond your self-imposed limits and make a commitment to living a life you love. Ask the universe for love and support. Ask God to fill you with compassion and strength. Face where you are at this moment and then move to higher ground. Grant yourself permission to have it all, you deserve it!

EXERCISES

1. In this exercise I’d like you to create a mission statement for yourself in the form of a power statement. This power statement should be an affirmation of who you want to be in the future. You could focus on your health, relationships, career, spiritual growth, or all of the above.

Close your eyes and step into your internal elevator. Take a few slow, deep breaths and allow yourself to relax completely. When you open your eyes you’ll be in your sacred garden. Walk slowly to your meditation seat. When you feel quiet inside, call forth an image of your sacred self. Allow this image to become strong, vivid, and bright. Ask your sacred self to come forward and bring you a message that will give you all the strength and courage you need to live the life of your dreams. If you have trouble and cannot hear your message, make one up that empowers you. Allow words to come to your awareness that make you feel strong. When you are finished thank your sacred self for assisting you and easily come back into external awareness. Take out your journal and write down everything you saw in your visualization.

This statement will empower you to go to the next level of personal growth in all areas of your life. I suggest that your statement be as short and simple as possible. Hopefully, you will use it daily as a way to remind yourself of your highest vision for your life. Below are a few examples of power statements that people have created.

a. I am a spiritual being worthy of honesty, love, and abundance.

b. The universe is my friend and lover always meeting my needs.

c. Wherever I look I see beauty, truth, and possibility.

d. I am wise and all knowing and I allow the universe to fulfill my desires.

e. There is no genuine desire I cannot manifest today.

You want to create a statement that lights you up and excites you when you repeat it. This is a statement meant to empower you in your everyday life. It could be as simple as, “Who I am makes a difference.”

It takes time to form new habits, so make a commitment to repeat this statement to yourself for the next twenty-eight days no matter what happens. Try repeating it as soon as you wake up in the morning, before you even get out of bed. If that’s not possible, do it right before bed at night. It’s great to start and end your day by remembering your highest commitment to yourself. I recommend you write out your power statement on Post-it notes and put them up all over your home, office, and car. The more you bring it into your awareness, the more meaningful this statement will become. Make it visible and accessible until it’s deeply ingrained in your consciousness.

1. Another powerful process to call forth your future is sometimes called treasure mapping, creating a collage to visualize your dreams. This is great to do with a group of friends. All you need is a piece of poster board, a few of your favorite magazines, a pair of scissors, and some glue.

Treasure Mapping Visualization

Close your eyes, return to your elevator, and go down seven floors. When you step out of the elevator you’ll see your beautiful garden. Walk through your garden and notice the flowers and trees. Look at the lush green leaves and smell the essences of all the lovely flowers. It is a beautiful day and the birds are singing. Notice the color of the sky. What is the temperature of the air? Is it cool or warm? Do you feel a breeze across your face? Inhale the beauty and the scents of your sacred garden. Now go to your meditation chair. Sit comfortably; allow yourself to relax. Now picture your life a year from now. You have everything you ever desired. All your dreams have come true; you are peaceful and content. You trust yourself and the universe. Your search for meaning is complete and you feel confident about your future. What does your life look like? Spend some time imagining it. What are your relationships like? How is your health? What are you doing for fun? How is your family? How are your finances? What are you doing for spiritual growth? Now go five years into the future. What do your relationships look like now? How is your health? What are you doing for fun? How is your family? What do your finances look like? What are you doing for your spiritual growth?

After you’ve done the visualization, go through your magazines and cut out pictures that excite you. Don’t think during this process; just go through the magazines as fast as you can and pull out pictures that have positive energy for you. Set a timer for ten or fifteen minutes. If you take more time than this, you’ll start to second-guess yourself. Simply be guided by your first impulses. When you have your supplies ready, go ahead and begin.

When you’ve finished your collage, put it up in a place where you can easily see it. Use the images to remind yourself of your heart’s desires.

1. Now see how your present life compares to what you saw in the visualization. Take out a sheet of paper and write down everything in your life that is inconsistent with the future you saw in the visualization and in your collage. Then write down everything you are doing to create the future you imagined. If you are not taking the necessary steps to create your future you can change that by acknowledging the truth and making a plan of action. The most important issue here is telling yourself the truth. The things in your life that are inconsistent with the future you desire should be noted, then you can begin to make a plan to eliminate them from your life.