فصل 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jealousy and Revenge

We did not have many soldiers in France the first winter of the war, but we had millions in training, ready to go. In the Trask house, Lee and Adam put up a map of Europe with lines of colored pins marking where our soldiers were, and this gave them a feeling of taking part in the war. Then Adam was appointed to the draft board, choosing the young men who would be sent away to fight. He was a logical man for the job. The ice factory did not take up much of his time and he had a good service record.

Adam worked hard and honestly and sadly. He knew that the young men he passed to the army were under sentence of death. And because he also knew he was weak, he was less likely to accept an excuse or a minor disability.

Adam looked forward to Thanksgiving, when Aron would come home from college. Aron was terribly homesick - he realized that he had made a mistake. He had decided that at Thanksgiving he would go home, and then he would be sure.

Aron tapped softly at his brothers bedroom door and went in. Cal sat at his desk, working with tissue paper and red ribbon. He quickly covered it up as Aron came in.

Aron smiled. “Presents?”

“Yes,” said Cal, but did not explain.

Aron sat on the bed. He was silent so long that Cal asked, “What’s the matter - you got trouble?”

“No, not trouble. I just wanted to talk to you. I don’t want to go on at college.”

Cal looked up quickly. “You don’t? Father will be disappointed. What do you want to do?”

“I thought about taking over the ranch. Abra told me a long time ago that’s what she’d like. I want to talk to Father about it tomorrow.”

Cal suddenly felt angry. Aron was trying to take the day away from him. It was not Aron’s day. It was Cal’s day. He had planned this day for himself and he wouldn’t give it up. Then he looked at his brother, at the light hair and the wide-apart eyes, and suddenly he knew why his father loved Aron, knew it beyond doubt. He looked like her.

Then, he was bitterly ashamed. He thought, “Its just jealousy. I’m jealous.” He asked himself, “Why am I giving this money to my father? Will Hamilton said it - I’m trying to buy his love. There’s not one decent thing about me. “Then a new voice came into his mind. “Just give it and forget it. Don’t expect anything.”

When Aron had gone back to his room, Cal uncovered his present. He counted the fifteen new bills once more, then wrapped them up and hid them in a drawer under his shirts. But he could not sleep. He was excited and at the same time shy. He wished the day were over and the gift given.

After the turkey dinner and dessert, they sat at the table and drank to each other’s health. Adam said, “I guess we never have had such a good Thanksgiving.”

Cal reached in his jacket pocket, took out the red-ribboned package, and pushed it over in front of his father.

“What’s this?” Adam asked.

“A present.” Cal’s eyes were full of joy.

Adam unfolded the tissue paper and stared down at the money. He picked up the notes very slowly. “What is it?”

Cal swallowed. “It’s - I made it - to give to you - to make up for losing the lettuce.”

Adam raised his head slowly. “You made it? How?”

“Mr. Hamilton - we made it - on beans. We agreed to pay the farmers five cents and then the price jumped. It’s for you - $15,000.”

Cal caught a feeling of disaster in the air and he felt sick. He heard his father say, “You’ll have to give it back.”

“Give it back? The British Purchasing Agency can’t take it back. They are paying twelve and a half cents for beans all over the country.”

“Then give it back to the farmers you robbed.”

“Robbed?” Cal cried. “We paid them two cents a pound more than the market price. We didn’t rob them.”

His father took a long time to answer. “I send boys out,” he said. “I sign my name and they go out. And some will die and some will lie helpless without arms or legs. Son, do you think I can make a profit on that?”

“I did it for you,” Cal said. “I wanted you to have the money to make up for your loss.”

“I don’t want the money, Cal. I thank you for the thought, but I would have been happy if you could have given me - well, what your brother has. If you want to give me a present - give me a good life.”

Cal stood up suddenly and his chair fell over. He ran from the room, holding his breath.

Adam called after him, “Don’t be angry, son.”

Adam and Lee left him alone. He thought he would cry but he did not. He felt hate spread through his body, poisoning every nerve.

Cal went out to find Aron as he returned from walking Abra home. “I want you to come with me,” Cal said. “I want to show you something.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise. But you’ll be interested.”

The next day, Kate sat still and stared straight ahead - hour after hour. She saw the face of the blond and beautiful boy, his eyes mad with shock. She heard his ugly words aimed not so much at her as at himself. And she saw his dark brother leaning against the door and laughing cruelly. Why had he brought his brother? What did he want?

The pain was creeping in her hands again and now her right leg ached angrily when she moved. She thought about when she was a small girl with a face as fresh as her son’s. Most of the time she knew she was smarter and prettier than anyone else. But now and then a lonely fear would fall upon her so that she seemed surrounded by a tree-tall forest of enemies. Then every thought and word was aimed to hurt her, and she had no place to run and no place to hide.

Then, one day, she was reading a book - Alice in Wonderland. In the story Alice had a little bottle that said, “Drink me.” When she drank from it, she became very small. Cathy too had a little bottle of sugar water that she drank from and became smaller and smaller. Let her enemies look for her then! Cathy would be under a leaf or looking out of a spider-hole, laughing. And always there was Alice to play with.

All this was so good, but there was one more thing always held in reserve. She had only to drink the whole bottle and she would shrink and disappear and cease to exist. Now Kate was cold and alone but she was ready, and she knew she had been ready for a long time.

She sat up and forced her hand, in spite of the pain, to write plainly. “I leave everything I have to my son Aron Trask.” She dated the sheet and signed it, “Catherine Trask.”

At the table she poured cold tea into her cup and went into the gray room and closed the door. She arranged the pillows on the gray chair and sat down. Gently she pulled the chain out from her dress, unscrewed the little tube, and shook the little capsule into her hand.

“Eat me,” she said, and put the capsule in her mouth. She picked up the teacup. “Drink me,” she said, and swallowed the bitter cold tea. Her eyes closed and her heart beat and her breathing slowed as she grew smaller and smaller and then disappeared - and she had never been.

The next morning, Sheriff Horace Quinn sat in the dead woman’s office and looked through her papers. He read the two- line handwritten will, then he opened a packet of brown envelopes and removed some photographs. On the back of each one, in Kate’s neat, sharp handwriting was a name and address and a title - councilman, judge. He sighed deeply as he called a number. Half an hour later, a nameless man stood beside him in the front office of the old county jail.

Quinn wrote a list of names on a sheet of paper. Then he walked over to the wood-burning stove against the north wall of his office. He put a folded newspaper into the stove and lighted it and dropped the brown envelopes onto the flames. “She’s dead now, so you’re safe,” he said. “These are the only copies, and the negatives were in there.”

“Thank you, Horace,” said the visitor.

Horace picked up the list from his desk. “Here’s a list. Tell everyone on the list that I’ve burned the pictures.”

Later that afternoon, Sheriff Quinn climbed up the steps of the Trask house. Lee brought two cups of coffee into the living room and went out.

Adam asked, “Is there anything wrong, Horace?”

“No, I don’t think so. Adam, was that woman still married to you?”

Adam went white. “Yes,” he said. “What’s the matter?”

“She killed herself last night.”

Adam’s face twisted, and he put his face down in his hands and cried. “Oh, my poor darling!” he said.

Horace sat quietly and waited. After a time, he took the folded will from his pocket and held it out. “There’s over $100,000 in her safe-deposit boxes.”

Adam read the two lines and went right on staring at the paper and beyond it. “He doesn’t know - she’s his mother.”

“You never told him?”

“No. What should I do?”

“I can only tell you what I’d do,” Sheriff Quinn said. “I’d tell him everything. I’d even tell him why you didn’t tell him before.”

“Lee,” Adam called, “tell Aron I want him. He has come home, hasn’t he?”

“Not yet,” said Lee. “Maybe he went back to school. I’ll ask Cal.”

Cal’s face was tired and closed and mean when he came in. Adam asked, “Where’s your brother? He hasn’t been home for two nights.”

“How do I know?” said Cal. “Am I supposed to look after him?”

Adam’s body shook as a tiny sharp blue light flashed at the back of his eyes. He said thickly, “Maybe he went back to college.”

Sheriff Quinn stood up. “You get a rest, Adam. You’ve had a shock.”

In his room Cal sat at his desk, holding his aching head. Cal had never drunk before, and had never needed to. But going to Kate’s had been no relief from pain, and his revenge had been no victory. Coming out of Kate’s he had touched his tearful brother, and Aron had cut him down with a fist like a whip. Aron had stood over him in the dark, and then suddenly turned and ran, screaming like a broken-hearted child. Cal drank all night, then he was back in his room. His guilt struck him and he had no weapon to fight it off.

A feeling of worry for Aron rose in him because Aron could not take care of himself. Cal knew he had to find him and bring him back, even if he sacrificed himself. Then the idea of sacrifice took hold of him the way it does with a guilty-feeling man.

Cal took out a flat package from under his handkerchiefs in the drawer. He looked around the room and brought a small dish to his desk. He folded one of the bills in the middle and lighted it with a match. When six were burned Lee came in without knocking and stood silently, waiting. Cal lighted one bill after another until all were burned.

At last Cal said, “Go ahead - you want to talk to me. Go ahead!”

“Where’s Aron?” asked Lee.

“I don’t know. He ran away.”Then Cal cried,”Why did I do it?”

“Don’t make it complicated,” Lee said. “You were mad at him because your father hurt your feelings. You were just mean.”

“I guess that’s what I wonder - why I’m mean. Lee, I don’t want to be mean.”

“Just a second,” said Lee. “I thought I heard your father come in. Cal, he doesn’t look well - he looks like he’s in shock. Oh, I forgot. You don’t know. Your mother killed herself last night.”

Cal said, “Did she? I hope it hurt!” and then, “No, I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to think like that.”

Lee found Adam leaning against the wall, his hat low over his eyes. Lee helped him into the living room and he fell heavily into his chair. His eyes were strange and his speech had the sound of a dream talker, slow and coming from a distance. He put his hand into his pocket and slowly brought out a yellow government postcard. “Lee, I guess I’ll have to get glasses. Can’t read it. Letters jump around. You read it.”

And Lee read, “Dear Father, I’m in the army. I told them I was eighteen. I’ll be all right. Don’t worry about me. Aron.”