فصل 99

florian

I brought the shoemaker and the wandering boy up to the projection room to sleep. I cocooned the small boy in my long wool coat, folding the collar over as a headrest. He slept soundly with his rabbit and remained asleep after I woke.

The shoe poet was already awake, staring at my boots.

“You altered the heel yourself. You did a fine job. You are a craftsman?” he asked.

“Of sorts,” I said. If he knew, would he turn me in?

“Six years,” said the shoemaker. “This war has stolen six years from the world. I was born in Germany and have lived here my entire life. I have dear friends who are Russian. They tell me the Russian people are suffering terribly. Stalin, Hitler”—he lowered his voice to a whisper—“there is no happy ending here.”

I nodded, reflecting upon his words. What would it mean to be German after the war? What would it mean to be Prussian? I checked my watch. “We should wake the little one.”

“I suppose, but I look at the boy and I envy his quiet sleep, his innocence,” said the old man.

“Where did he come from?” I asked.

“He wandered out of the woods. An address in Berlin was pinned to the front of his coat. But I wonder, who’s waiting for the little lad? What if the address is an orphanage? He told Joana that he was with his granny, but one day she didn’t wake up.”

I could feel my face moving, betraying my desire to remain unaffected.

The old man nodded. “There’s a saying, ‘Death hath a thousand doors to let out life; I shall find one.’ We all have a door that waits. I know that. I accept it. But the children. That’s what I struggle with.” He shook his head. “Why the children?”

“But the boy is the reason you were given a pass for a ship. He was too young to go alone.”

“Yes, yes, I’ve thought about that. Perhaps the children are little cherubs, looking after withered men like me.”

“Which ship will you be on?” I asked.

“The Gustloff. And you?” he asked.

“The Gustloff, ” I said.

We shared a quiet smile.