فصل 95

emilia

I woke, disoriented. Joana wanted me to move, to walk a bit. I didn’t want to. I was finally warm. No one would bother me for a while. And I was so tired. I pulled the sheet up to my nose.

She brought me pea soup and sat at my bedside. Whenever she left, she returned quickly. Joana looked at me differently now.

She understood.

She knew.

“The Prussian?” I asked, wondering about the knight.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“You hope,” I told her.

She laughed.

Her smile suddenly faded and she looked straight at me. She leaned over my cot and took both of my hands in hers. Her eyes, filled with compassion, began to well up. Joana then whispered the words I had waited so long to hear. I knew Mama would say them if she could. But Joana spoke them, slowly and deliberately, clutching my hands between hers.

“Emilia, I am so very sorry.”

My chin began to tremble. My throat tightened. I nodded and warm tears spilled down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, squeezing my hands.

“Me too,” I whispered.