فصل 20

emilia

I could not trust the people in the barn. The giant woman recoiled when she learned I was Polish, so I willed my legs to move faster, telling myself that once I told the knight my story, he would understand. He would know what I had done for his country. He would protect me.

My stomach complained. Would the hunger ever fade, retreat in a kind and gentle way and stop its constant knocking? I couldn’t remember not being fearful and hungry, when my stomach didn’t feel pulled with yearning. My mental pictures of Lw?w seemed to be fading, like a photograph left outside in the sun.

Lw?w, the city that always smiled, a place of education and culture in Poland. How much of Lw?w would survive?

The knight’s silhouette came into view and inspired me to move faster. I called out and he turned, gun aimed.

“Wait. Please,” I said. “I’m coming with you.”

He turned away from me, then continued on his path.

I followed his fresh tracks in the snow and felt stronger, the January morning air sharp and crisp in my nostrils. I kept walking, following. After several meters he stopped and turned, furious. “Go away!”

“No,” I protested.

“It’s safer for you to stay with the others,” he said.

Safer? He didn’t realize.

I was already dead.