فصل 35

florian

We brought her into the house. My stomach pushed up into my throat. The Polish girl was my sister’s age. What had human beings become? Did war make us evil or just activate an evil already lurking within us?

The day was a loss. I had left ahead of the group, yet they had arrived before me. Pathetic.

My senses were so misaligned that I was nearly killed in the woods.

And now the fifteen-year-old kid who saved my life was probably going to die.

The pretty nurse tended to the girl, whispering. I watched her. After several minutes, the nurse appeared at my side. Her fingers grazed my shoulder. “Come away from the fire,” she said.

“I’m cold.”

“You’re cold because you have a fever. Come away from the fire.”

She led me past the man they all called the shoe poet. He and a small boy were in their stocking feet. Their boots, arranged in a row against the wall, shone to mirrored perfection.

The little boy waved at me. “Hallo, I’m Klaus!” he announced. I gave him a discreet wink. He smiled.

“Sit down here,” said the nurse.

I felt uncomfortable with her, yet somehow relieved she was there.

“What did you say your name was?” I asked her.

“Joana. What did you say yours was?”

I opened my mouth but caught myself. A hint of a smile pulled at her lips. Was she laughing at me? Would she still be laughing when she realized that I had taken something from her suitcase?

“I want to see the stitches. Take off your shirt,” she said.

Inappropriate jokes ran through my mind. But she wasn’t looking at me. Her eyes were fixed on the Polish girl and the fold between her brow deepened.

“Will she make it?” I said, unbuttoning my shirt. I wished I hadn’t asked. I couldn’t afford to care about the girl. She was just another tragedy of war.

The nurse turned to me. “Since her survival depends on you, let’s see how you’re doing.” She carefully peeled back my bandage. “Hmm, not as bad as I expected.”

“I can’t take care of her. I’m already behind schedule.”

She knelt in front of me. I could barely hear her. “The Russians have this region surrounded,” she said. “There are only two escape routes, through the port at Gotenhafen or the port at Pillau. We’re all headed the same way. It will be safer if we travel together.”

Her cold fingers whispered across my chest as she buttoned my shirt.

She had no idea. It wasn’t “safer” for anyone to be with me.