فصل 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tanzie

There were four different types of Danish pastry at the breakfast buffet and three different types of fruit juice, and a whole rack of those little individual packets of cereal that Mum said were uneconomical and would never buy. She had knocked on the window at a quarter past eight to tell them they should wear their jackets to breakfast and stuff as many of each of them as they could into their pockets. Her hair had flattened on one side and she had no makeup on. Tanzie guessed the car hadnt been that much of an adventure after all.

“Not the butters or jams. Or anything that needs cutlery. Rolls, muffins, that kind of thing. Dont get caught. She looked behind her to where Mr. Nicholls seemed to be having an argument with a security guard. “And apples. Apples are healthy. And maybe some slices of ham for Norman.

“Where am I meant to put the ham?

“Or a sausage. Wrap it in a napkin.

“Isnt that stealing?

“No.

“But—

“Its just taking a bit more than youre likely to eat at that exact moment. Youre just . . . Imagine youre a guest with a hormone disorder and it makes you really, really hungry.

“But I havent got a hormone disorder.

“But you could have. Thats the point. Youre that hungry, sick person, Tanze. Youve paid for your breakfast, but you need to eat a lot. More than you would normally eat.

Tanzie folded her arms. “You said it was wrong to steal.

“Its not stealing. Its just getting your moneys worth.

“But we didnt pay for it. Mr. Nicholls did.

“Tanzie, just do as I say, please. Look, Mr. Nicholls and I are going to have to leave the car park for half an hour. Just do it, then come back to the room and be ready to leave at nine. Okay? Jess leaned through the window and kissed Tanzie, then trudged back toward the car, her jacket wrapped around her. She stopped, turned back, and shouted, “Dont forget to brush your teeth. And dont leave any of your maths books.

Nicky came out of the bathroom. He was wearing his really tight black jeans and a T-shirt that said WHATEVS across the front.

“Youre never going to get a sausage in those, Tanzie said, staring at his jeans.

“I bet I can hide more than you can, he said.

Her eyes met his. “Youre on, Tanzie said, and ran to get dressed.

—

Mr. Nicholls leaned forward and squinted through his windscreen as Nicky and she walked across the car park. To be fair, Tanzie thought, she would probably have squinted at them, too. Nicky had stuffed two large oranges and an apple down the front of his jeans and waddled across the asphalt like hed had an accident in his trousers. She was in her sequined jacket, despite feeling too hot, because shed packed the front of her hoodie with little packets of cereal and if she didnt wear her jacket she looked like she might be pregnant. With baby robots.

They couldnt stop laughing.

“Just get in, get in, said Mum, throwing their overnight bags into the boot as she glanced behind her. “What did you get?

Mr. Nicholls set off down the road. Tanzie could see him glancing in the mirror as they took turns unloading their haul and handing it forward to Mum.

Nicky pulled a white package from his pocket. “Three Danish pastries. Watch out—the icing got a bit stuck to the napkins. Four sausages and a few slices of bacon in a paper cup for Norman. Two slices of cheese, a yogurt, and— He tugged his jacket over his crotch, reached down, grimacing, tensing, and pulled out the fruit. “I cant believe I managed to fit those in there.

“There is nothing I can say to that thats in any way appropriate mother-son conversation, Mum said.

Tanzie had six small packets of cereal, two bananas, and a jam sandwich. She sat eating from one of the packets while Norman stared at her and two stalactites of drool grew longer and longer from his lips until they were pooling on the seat of Mr. Nichollss car.

“That woman behind the poached eggs definitely saw us.

“I told her you had a hormone disorder, Tanzie said. “I told her you had to eat twice your body weight three times a day or you would faint in their dining room and you might actually die.

“Nice, said Nicky.

“You win on numbers, she said, counting out his items. “But I win extra points for skill. She leaned forward and, as everyone watched, she carefully lifted the two polystyrene cups of coffee from each of her pockets, packed with paper napkins so that they would stay upright. She handed one to Mum and the other she placed in the cup holder next to Mr. Nicholls.

“You are a genius, Mum said, peeling off the lid. “Oh, Tanze, you have no idea how much I needed this. She took a sip, closing her eyes. Tanzie wasnt sure if it was that theyd done so well with the buffet, or just that Nicky was laughing for the first time in ages, but for a moment her mum looked happier than she had since Dad left.

Mr. Nicholls just stared like they were a bunch of aliens.

“Okay, so we can make sandwiches for lunch with the ham, cheese, and sausages. You guys can eat the pastries now. Fruit for dessert. Want one? She held an orange toward Mr. Nicholls. “Its a bit warm still. But I can peel it.

“Uh, kind of you, he said, tearing his gaze away. “But I think Ill just stop at a Starbucks.

—

The next part of the journey was actually quite nice. There were no traffic jams and Mum persuaded Mr. Nicholls to put on her favorite radio station and sang along to six songs, getting louder with each one. She made Tanzie and Nicky join in, too, and Mr. Nicholls looked fed up at first, but Tanzie noticed that after a few miles he was nodding his head like he was actually enjoying himself. The sun got really hot and Mr. Nicholls slid the roof back. Norman sat bolt upright so that he could smell the air as they were going along and it meant that he didnt squish them into each door, which was also nice.

It reminded Tanzie a bit of when Dad lived with them and they would sometimes go on outings in his car. Except Dad always drove too fast and they could never agree on where to stop and eat. And Dad would say he didnt understand why they couldnt just blow some money on a pub lunch and Mum would say that shed made the sandwiches now and it would be silly to waste them. And Dad would tell Nicky to get his head out of whatever game he was playing and enjoy the damn scenery and Nicky would mutter that he hadnt actually asked to come, which would make Dad even madder.

And then Tanzie thought that while she did love Dad, she probably preferred this trip without him.

After two hours Mr. Nicholls said he needed to stretch, and Norman needed to wee, so they stopped at the edge of a country park. Mum put some of the buffet haul out and they sat in the shade at a proper wooden picnic table and ate. Tanzie did some revision prime numbers and quadratic equations, then took Norman for a walk around the woods. He was really happy and stopped every two minutes to sniff at something, and the sun kept sending little moving spotlights through the trees and they saw a deer and two pheasants and it was like they were actually on holiday.

“You okay, lovey? Mum said, walking up with her arms crossed. From where they stood they could just see Nicky talking to Mr. Nicholls at the table through the trees. “Feeling confident?

“I think so, she said.

“Did you go through the old test papers last night?

“Yes. I do find the prime-number sequences a bit difficult, but I wrote them all down and when I saw the sequencing laid out I found it easier.

“No more nightmares about the Fishers?

“Last night, Tanzie said, “I dreamed about a cabbage that could roller-skate. It was called Kevin.

Mum gave her a long look. “Right.

It was cooler in the forest, and it smelled of good damp, mossy and green and alive, not like the damp in their back room, which just smelled moldy. Mum stopped on the path and turned back toward the car. “I told you good things happen, didnt I? She waited for Tanzie to catch up. “Mr. Nicholls is going to get us there tomorrow. Well have a quiet night, get you through this competition, and youll start at your new school. Then, hopefully, all our lives will change a little for the better. And this is fun, isnt it? This is a nice trip?

She kept her eyes on the car as she spoke and her voice did that thing where she was saying one thing and thinking about something else. Tanzie noticed shed put her makeup on while they were in the car. “Mum, she said.

“Yes?

“We did sort of steal the food from that buffet, didnt we? I mean, if you look at it proportionally, we did take more than our share.

Mum stared at her feet for a minute, thinking. “If youre really worried, when we get your prize money well put five pounds in an envelope and send it to them. How does that sound?

“I think, given the items we took, it would probably be nearer six pounds. Probably six pounds fifty, Tanzie said.

“Then thats what well send them. And now I think we should work really, really hard to get this fat old dog of yours to run around a bit, so that a hes tired enough to sleep the next leg of the journey, and b it might encourage him to go to the loo here and not fart his way through the next eighty miles.

—

They hit the road again. It rained. Mr. Nicholls had had One of His Phone Calls with a man called Sidney and talked about share prices and market movements and looked a bit serious, so Mum didnt sing for a bit. Tanzie tried not to sneak looks at her maths papers Mum said it would make her sick. Her legs kept sticking to Mr. Nichollss leather seats and she was sort of regretting wearing her shorts. Plus Norman had rolled in something in the woods and she kept getting this whiff of something really bad, but she didnt want to say anything in case Mr. Nicholls decided hed had enough of them and their stinky dog. So she just held her nose with her fingers and tried to breathe through her mouth, only letting herself open her nostrils every thirty lampposts.

“What are you thinking about, Tanze? Mum looked back through the seats.

“I was thinking about permutations and combinations.

Mum did that smile that she did when she didnt really get what Tanzie was saying.

“Well, I was thinking about that fruit salad at the breakfast bar. Like thats a combination—it doesnt matter whether the apples, pears, and bananas are in any order, right? But with permutations it does.

Mum still looked blank. Mr. Nicholls looked in the rearview mirror and then turned to Mum.

“Okay, so imagine pulling colored socks from a drawer. If you have six pairs of different-colored socks in the drawer—say twelve in total—there are six times five times four times three different combinations you could pull them out in, right? he said.

“But if all twelve had different colors, youd have a really big number of different ways of pulling them out—nearly half a billion.

“That sounds pretty much like our sock drawers, said Mum.

Mr. Nicholls looked back at Tanze and grinned. “So, Tanze, if you have a drawer with twelve socks but you cant see them, how many do you have to pull out to decide if there are at least two pairs?

Tanzie was thinking about this for ages, so she didnt hear when Mr. Nicholls started talking to Nicky.

“You bored? You want to borrow my phone?

“Really? Nicky pushed himself upright from his slumped position.

“Sure. Its in the pocket of my jacket.

With Nicky glued again to a screen, Mum and Mr. Nicholls started talking. It was possible theyd forgotten anyone else was in the car.

“Still thinking about socks? she said.

“Oh no. Those problems can fry your brain. Ill leave that to your daughter.

There was a short silence.

“So, tell me about your wife.

“Ex-wife. And no thanks.

“Why not? You werent unfaithful. Im guessing she wasnt, or you would have made that face.

“What face?

Another short silence. Maybe ten lampposts.

“Im not sure I would ever have made that face. But no. She wasnt. And no, I dont really want to discuss it. Its—

“Private?

“I just dont like talking about personal stuff. Do you want to talk about your ex?

“In front of his children? Yup, thats always a great idea.

Nobody spoke for a few miles. Mum started tapping on the window. Tanzie glanced over at Mr. Nicholls. Every time Mum tapped, a little muscle tweaked in his jaw.

“So what shall we talk about, then? Im not very interested in software and Im guessing you have zero interest in what I do. I dont understand sock-related maths. And there are only so many times I can point at a field and say Oh, look, cows.

Mr. Nicholls sighed.

“Come on. Its a long way to Scotland.

There was a thirty-lamppost silence. Nicky was taking pictures out of the window with Mr. Nichollss phone.

“Lara. Italian. Model.

“Model. Mum laughed this great big laugh. “Of course.

“Whats that supposed to mean? Mr. Nicholls said grumpily.

“All men like you go out with models.

“What do you mean, men like me?

Mum pressed her lips together.

“What do you mean, men like me? Come on.

“Rich men.

“Im not rich.

Mum shook her head. “Noooo.

“Im not.

“I think it depends on how you define rich.

“Ive seen rich. Im not rich. Im well-off, yes. But Im a long way from rich.

Mum turned to him. He really had no idea whom he was dealing with. “Do you have more than one house?

He signaled and swung the wheel. “I might.

“Do you have more than one car?

He glanced sideways. “Yes.

“Then youre rich.

“Nope. Rich is private jets and yachts. Rich is staff.

“So what am I?

Mr. Nicholls shook his head. “Not staff. Youre . . .

“What?

“Im just trying to imagine your face if Id referred to you as my staff.

Mum started to laugh. “My woman servant. My cleaning wench.

“Yeah. Or those. Okay, well, what would you say is rich?

Mum pulled one of the buffet apples from her bag and bit into it. She chewed for a minute before speaking. “Rich is paying every single bill on time without thinking about it. Rich is being able to have a holiday or get through Christmas without having to borrow against January and February. Actually, rich would be just not thinking about money all the bloody time.

“Everyone thinks about money. Even rich people.

“Yes, but youre just thinking what to do with it to make more money. Whereas Im thinking how the hell we can get enough of it to get through another week.

Mr. Nicholls made a harrumphing sound. “I cant believe Im driving you to Scotland and youre giving me a hard time because youve misguidedly decided Im some kind of Donald Trump.

“Im not giving you a hard time.

“Noooo.

“Im just pointing out that theres a difference between what you consider to be rich and what is actually rich.

There was a sort of awkward silence. Mum blushed like shed said too much and started eating her apple with big, noisy bites, even though she would have told Tanzie off if she had eaten like that. Tanzie was distracted from sock permutations. She didnt want Mum and Mr. Nicholls to stop talking to each other because they were having quite a nice day, so she put her head through the front seats. “Actually, I read somewhere that to qualify for the top one percent in this country, you would need to earn more than a hundred and forty thousand pounds a year, she said helpfully. “So if Mr. Nicholls doesnt earn that much, then he probably isnt rich. She smiled and sat back in her seat.

Mum looked at Mr. Nicholls. She kept looking at him.

Mr. Nicholls rubbed his head. “I tell you what, he said after a while, “shall we stop off and get some tea?

—

Moreton Marston looked like it had been invented for tourists. Everything was made of the same gray stone and was really old, and everyones gardens were perfect, with tiny blue flowers creeping over the tops of walls, and immaculate little baskets of trailing leaves, like something out of a book. The shops were all the kind you get on Christmas cards. In the market square there was a woman dressed in Victorian clothing, selling buns from a tray, with groups of tourists wandering around taking pictures. Tanzie was so busy gazing out of the window that she didnt notice Nicky at first. It was only when they pulled into the parking space that she saw he had gone really white. She asked him whether his ribs were hurting, and he said no, and when she asked if he had an apple down his trousers that he couldnt get out, he said, “No, Tanze, just drop it, but the way he said it, there was definitely something. Tanzie looked at Mum, but she was busy not looking at Mr. Nicholls and Mr. Nicholls was busy making this big to-do about finding the best parking space. Norman just looked up at Tanzie, like “Dont even bother asking.

Everyone got out and stretched and Mr. Nicholls said they were all having tea and cake and it was his treat and please could we not make a big financial deal out of it as it was just tea, okay? Mum raised her eyebrows like she was going to say something and then just muttered, “Thank you, but not with good grace.

They sat down in a café whose name was Ye Spotted Sowe Tea Shoppe, even though Tanzie would bet there were no tea shops in medieval times. Nobody else seemed to mind. Nicky got up to go to the loo. And Mr. Nicholls and Mum were at the counter choosing what to eat, so she clicked on Mr. Nichollss phone and the first thing that came up was Nickys Facebook page. She waited for a minute because Nicky got really annoyed if people looked at his stuff, and then when she was sure he really was in the loo, she made the screen go bigger so she could read it, and then she went cold. The Fishers had posted messages and pictures of men doing rude things to other men all over Nickys timeline. They had called him “gimp and “fagboy, and even though Tanzie didnt know what the words meant, she knew they were bad and she suddenly felt sick. She looked up and Mum was coming back holding a tray.

“Tanzie! Be careful with Mr. Nichollss phone!

The phone had clattered onto the edge of the table. She didnt want to touch it. She wondered if Nicky was crying in the loo. She would be.

When she looked up, Mum was staring at her. “Whats wrong?

“Nothing.

She sat down and pushed an orange cupcake on a plate across the table. Tanzie wasnt hungry anymore, even though it was covered with sprinkles.

“Tanze. Whats wrong? Talk to me.

She pushed the phone slowly across the wooden table with the tip of her finger, like it was going to burn her or something. Mum frowned, and then looked down at it. She clicked on it and stared. “Jesus Christ, she said after a minute.

Mr. Nicholls sat down beside her. He had the biggest slice of chocolate cake Tanzie had ever seen. “Everyone happy? he said. He looked happy.

“The little bastards, Mum said. And her eyes filled with tears.

“What? Mr. Nicholls had a mouthful of cake.

“Is that like a pervert?

Mum didnt seem to hear her. She pushed the chair back with a massive screech and began striding toward the toilets.

“Thats the Gents, madam, a woman called, as Mum pushed the door open.

“I can read, thank you, Mum said, and she disappeared inside.

“What? Whats going on now? Mr. Nicholls struggled to swallow his mouthful. He glanced over at where Mum had gone. Then, when Tanzie didnt say anything, he looked down at his phone and tapped it twice. He just kept staring. Then he moved the screen around like he was reading everything. Tanzie felt a bit weird. She wasnt sure he should be looking at that.

“Did . . . is this something to do with what happened to your brother?

She wanted to cry. She felt like the Fishers had ruined the nice day. It was as if they had followed them here, like they would never get away from them. She couldnt speak.

“Hey, he said, as a great big tear plopped down on the table. “Hey. He held out a paper napkin toward her and Tanzie wiped her eyes, and when she couldnt hide the sob that burst upward, he moved around the table and put an arm around her and pulled her in for a hug. He felt big and solid and smelled of lemons and men. She hadnt smelled that man smell since Dad left and that made her even sadder.

“Hey. Dont cry.

“Sorry.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Id cry if someone did that to my sister. Thats—thats . . . He clicked the phone off. “Sheez. He shook his head and blew out his cheeks. “Do they do that to him a lot?

“I dont know. She sniffed. “He doesnt say much anymore.

Mr. Nicholls waited until she had stopped crying and then he moved back around the table and ordered a hot chocolate with marshmallows, chocolate shavings, and extra cream. “Cures all known ills, he said, pushing it toward her. “Trust me. I know everything.

And the weird thing was it was actually true.

—

Tanzie had finished her chocolate and cupcake by the time Mum and Nicky came out of the loo. Mum put on this bright smile, like nothing was wrong, and had her arm around Nickys shoulders, which actually looked a bit odd now that he was half a head taller than her. He slid into the seat beside her at the table and stared at his cake. Tanzie watched Mr. Nicholls looking at Nicky and wondered if he was going to say anything about what was on his phone, but he didnt. She thought maybe he didnt want Nicky to get embarrassed. Either way, the happy day, she thought sadly, was over.

Mum got up to check on Norman, who was tied up outside, and Mr. Nicholls ordered a second cup of coffee and started stirring it slowly, like he was thinking about something. He looked up at Nicky from under his eyebrows and said quietly, “So. Nicky. You know anything about hacking?

She got the feeling she wasnt supposed to listen, so she just stared really hard at the quadratic equations.

“No, said Nicky.

Mr. Nicholls leaned forward over the table and lowered his voice. “Well, I think now might be a good time to start.

—

“Where are they? Mum said when she came back, looking around the room.

“Theyve gone to Mr. Nichollss car. Mr. Nicholls said theyre not to be disturbed. Tanzie sucked the end of her pencil.

Mums eyebrows shot somewhere into her hairline.

“Mr. Nicholls said youd look like that. He said to tell you hes sorting it out. The Facebook thing.

“Hes doing what? How?

“He said youd say that, too. She rubbed at a two, which looked a bit too much like a five and blew away the rubbings. “He said to tell you to please give them twenty minutes, and hes ordered you another cup of tea and you should have some cake while youre waiting. Theyll come back and fetch us when theyre finished. And also to tell you the chocolate cake is really good.

Mum didnt like it. Tanzie sat and finished her unit until she was happy with the answers while Mum fidgeted and looked out of the window and made as if to speak, then closed her mouth again. She didnt eat any chocolate cake. She left the five pounds that Mr. Nicholls had put on the table sitting there and Tanzie put her eraser on it because she was worried that when someone opened the door it would blow away.

Finally, just as the woman was sweeping up close enough to their table to send a silent message, the door opened, a little bell rang, and Mr. Nicholls walked in with Nicky. Nicky had his hands in his pockets and his hair over his eyes, but there was a little smirk on his face.

Mum stood up and looked from one to the other. You could tell she really, really wanted to say something, but she didnt know what.

“Did you try the chocolate cake? Mr. Nicholls said. His face was all bland, like a game-show hosts.

“No.

“Shame. It was really good. Thank you! Your cake is the best! he called to the woman, who went all smiley and twinkly. Then Mr. Nicholls and Nicky went straight back out again, striding across the road like theyd been mates all their lives, leaving Tanzie and Mum to gather up their things and hurry out after them.