فصل 06

CHAPTER SIX

Jess

The Feathers public house sat between the library closed since January and the Happy Plaice fish-and-chip shop, and inside it was possible to believe it was still 1989. Des, the landlord, had never been seen in anything but faded tour T-shirts, jeans, and, if it was cold, a blouson leather jacket. On a quiet night, if you were unlucky, he would explain in excruciating detail the merits of a Fender Stratocaster against a Rickenbacker 330 or recite with a poets reverence all the words to “Money for Nothing.

The Feathers was not smart, in the way that the Beachfront bars were smart, and it did not serve fresh seafood or fine wines and family-friendly menus catering to screaming children. It served various kinds of dead animal with chips, and it scoffed at the word “salad. There was nothing more adventurous than Tom Petty on the jukebox and a battered dartboard on the wall.

But it was a formula that worked. The Feathers was that rare thing in a seaside town busy all year-round.

“Is Roxanne here? Jess started putting out the bags of potato chips as Des emerged from the cellar, where he had been tying on a fresh barrel of real ale.

“Nah. Shes doing something with her mother. He thought for a minute. “Healing. No, fortune-telling. Psychiatrist. Psychologist.

“Spiritualist?

“The one where they tell you stuff you already know and youre meant to look impressed.

“Psychic.

“Thirty pounds a ticket, theyre paying, to sit there with a glass of cheap white wine and shout, “Yes! when someone asks did someone in the audience have a relative whose name began with J. He stooped, slamming the cellar door shut with a grunt. “I could predict a few things, Jess. And I wont charge you thirty pounds for it. I predict that so-called spiritualist is sitting at home right now, rubbing his hands and thinking, What a bunch of Muppets.

Jess hauled the tray of clean glasses out of the dishwasher and began stacking them on the shelves above the bar.

“Do you believe all that old bollocks?

“No.

“Course you dont. Youre a sensible girl. I dont know what to say to her sometimes. Her mothers the worst. She reckons shes got her own guardian angel. An angel. He mimicked her, looking at his own shoulder and tapping it. “She reckons it protects her. Didnt protect her from spending all her compensation on the shopping channels, did it? Youd think that angel would have had a word. “Here, Maureen. You really dont want that luxury ironing-board cover with a picture of a dog on it. Really, love. Put a bit into your pension instead.

Miserable as Jess felt, she couldnt help but laugh.

“Youre early. Des looked pointedly at his watch.

“Shoe emergency. Chelsea slung her handbag under the bar, then fixed her hair. “I got chatting online to one of my dates, she said to Jess, as if Des werent there. “Hes absolutely gorgeous.

All Chelseas Internet dates were gorgeous. Until she met them.

“David, his name is. Hes looking for someone who likes cooking, cleaning, and ironing. And the odd trip out.

“To the supermarket? Des asked.

Chelsea ignored him. She picked up a dishcloth and began drying glasses. “You want to get yourself on there, Jess. Get out and about a bit instead of moldering in here with this lot of droopy old ball sacks.

“Less of the old, you, Des said.

The football was on, which meant that Des put out free crisps and cheese cubes, and, if he was feeling particularly generous, mini sausage rolls. Jess had taken home the leftover cubes, with Dess blessing, to make macaroni and cheese until Nathalie had told her the statistic for how many men actually washed their hands after going to the loo.

The bar filled, the match started, the evening passed without note she poured pints in the commentary gaps and thought, yet again, about money. The end of June, the school had said. If she didnt register by then, that was it. She was so deep in thought that she almost didnt hear Des until he dumped a bowl of potato puffs on the bar beside her. “I meant to tell you. Next week weve got a new till coming. Its one of those where all you have to do is touch the screen.

She turned away from the optics. “A new till? Why?

“That one is older than I am. And not all the barmaids can add up as well as you, Jess. The last time Chelsea was on by herself, I cashed up and we were eleven quid out. Ask her to add up a double gin, a pint of Websters, and a packet of dry-roasted and her eyes cross. Weve got to move with the times. He ran his hand across an imaginary screen. “Digital accuracy. Youll love it. You wont have to use your brain at all. Just like Chelsea.

“Cant I just stick with this? Im hopeless with computers.

“Were going to do staff training. Half a day. Unpaid, Im afraid. Ive got a bloke coming.

“Unpaid?

“Just tap-tap-swipe on a screen. Itll be like Minority Report. But without the bald people. Mind you, well still have Pete. Pete!

—

Liam Stubbs came in at a quarter past nine. Jess had her back to the bar and he leaned over it and murmured “Hey, hot stuff into her ear.

She didnt turn round. “Oh. You again.

“Theres a welcome. Pint of Stella, please, Jess. He glanced around the bar, then said, “And whatever else you have on offer.

“We have some very nice dry-roasted peanuts.

“I was thinking of something a bit . . . wetter.

“Ill get you that pint, then.

“Still playing hard to get, eh?

She had known Liam since school. He was one of those men who would break your heart into tiny pieces if you let him the kind of blue-eyed, smart-mouthed boy who ignored you all the way through years ten and eleven, laughed you into bed when you lost your braces and grew your hair, then gave you nothing more than a cheery wave and a wink forever after. His hair was chestnut brown, his cheekbones high and lightly tanned. He drove a taxi at night and ran a flower stall in the market on Fridays, and whenever she passed, he would whisper, “You. Me. Behind the dahlias, now, just seriously enough to make her miss her stride. His wife had left him about the same time Marty had departed. “A little matter of serial infidelity. Some women are so picky. And six months ago, after one of Dess after-hours specials, they had ended up in the ladies loo with his hands up her shirt and Jess walking round wearing a lopsided smile for days.

She was taking the empty cardboard crisps boxes out to the bins when Liam appeared at the back gate. He walked up to her so that she had to back against the wall of the pub garden. The entire length of his body was just inches from hers and he said softly, “I cant stop thinking about you. He held his cigarette hand well away from her. He was a gentleman like that.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.

“I like watching you move around that bar. Half the time Im watching the football, and half the time Im imagining bending you over it.

“Who says romance is dead?

God, he smelled good. Jess wriggled a bit, trying to get herself out from under him before she did something shed regret. Being near Liam Stubbs sparked bits of her to life that she had forgotten existed.

“So let me romance you. Let me take you out. You and me. A proper date. Come on, Jess. Lets make a go of it.

Jess pulled back from him. “What?

“You heard.

She stared. “You want us to have a relationship?

“You say it like its a dirty word.

She slid out from under him, glancing toward the back door. “Ive got to get back to the bar, Liam.

“Why wont you go out with me? He took a step closer. “You know it would be great . . . His voice had dropped to a whisper.

“And I also know I have two kids and two jobs and you spend your whole life in your car and it would take about three weeks for you and me to be bickering on a sofa about whose turn it was to take the rubbish out. She smiled sweetly at him. “And then we would lose the heart-stopping romance of exchanges like this forever.

He picked up a lock of her hair and let it slide through his fingers. His voice was a soft growl. “So cynical. Youre going to break my heart, Jess Thomas.

“And youre going to get me fired.

“I take it this means a quickies out of the question?

She extricated herself and made her way toward the back door, trying to make the color subside from her cheeks. Then she stopped. “Hey, Liam.

He looked up from stubbing his cigarette out.

“You dont want to lend me five hundred quid, do you?

“If I had it, babe, you could have it. He blew a kiss as she went inside.

—

She was walking around the bar to pick up empties, her cheeks still pink, when she saw him. She actually did a double take. He was sitting in the corner alone, and there were three finished pint glasses in front of him.

He had changed into Converse trainers, jeans, and a T-shirt he sat staring at his mobile phone, flicking at the screen and occasionally glancing up when everyone cheered a goal. As Jess watched, he raised a beer and downed it in one long, thirsty gulp. He probably thought that in his jeans he blended in, but he had “out of towner written all over him. Too much money. The kind of studied scruffiness that only comes with expense. As he glanced toward the bar, she turned away swiftly, feeling her mood darken.

“Just popping downstairs for some more snacks, she said to Chelsea, and made for the cellar. “Ugh, she muttered under her breath. “Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. When she reemerged, he had a fresh pint and barely looked up from his phone.

The evening stretched. Chelsea discussed her Internet options, Mr. Nicholls drank a few more pints, and Jess disappeared whenever he got up to the bar—and tried not to meet Liams eye. By ten to eleven, the pub was down to a handful of stragglers—the usual offenders, Des called them. Chelsea put on her coat.

“Where are you going?

Chelsea stooped to apply her lipstick in the mirror behind the optics. “Des said I could leave a bit early. She pursed her lips. “Date.

“Date? Who goes on a date at this time of night?

“Its a date at Davids house. Its all right, she said, as Jess stared at her. “My sisters coming, too. He said it would be nice with the three of us.

“Chels, have you ever heard the expression booty call?

“What?

Jess looked at her for a minute. “Nothing. Just . . . have a nice time.

She was loading the dishwasher when he appeared at the bar. His eyes were half closed and he swayed gently, as if he were about to embark on some free-form dance.

“Pint, please.

She shoved another two glasses to the back of the wire rack. “Were not serving anymore. Its gone eleven.

He looked up at the clock. His voice slurred. “Its one minute to.

“Youve had enough.

He blinked slowly, stared at her. His short dark hair was sticking up slightly on one side. “Who are you to tell me Ive had enough?

“The person who serves the drinks. Thats usually how it works. Jess held his gaze. “You dont even recognize me, do you?

“Should I?

She stared at him a moment longer. “Hold on. She let herself out from behind the bar, walked over to the swing door, and, as he stood there, bemused, she opened it and let it swing back in her face, lifting a hand and opening her mouth as if to say something.

She opened the door again and stood there in front of him. “Recognize me now?

He blinked. “Are you . . . did I see you yesterday?

“The cleaner. Yes.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Ah. The whole door thing. I was just . . . having a tricky conversation.

“Not now, thanks tends to work just as well, I find.

“Point taken. He leaned on the bar. Jess tried to keep a straight face when his elbow slipped off.

“So thats an apology, is it?

He peered at her blearily. “Sorry. Im really, really, really sorry. Very sorry, O Bar Lady. Now can I have a drink?

“No. Its gone eleven.

“Only because you kept me talking.

“I havent got time to sit here while you nurse another pint.

“Give me a shot, then. Come on. I need another drink. Give me a shot of vodka. Here. You can keep the change. He slammed a twenty on the bar. The impact reverberated through the rest of him so that his head whiplashed back slightly. “Just one. Actually, make it a double. Itll take me all of two seconds to down it. One second.

“No. Youve had enough.

Dess voice broke in from the kitchen. “Oh, for Christs sake, Jess, give him a drink.

Jess stood for a moment, her jaw rigid, then turned and poured two measures into a glass. She rang up the money, then silently placed his change on the bar. He downed the vodka, swallowing audibly as he put the glass down, and turned away, staggering slightly.

“You forgot your change.

“Keep it.

“I dont want it.

“Put it in your charity box, then.

She gathered it up and shoved it at his hand. “Dess charity of choice is the Des Harris Holiday in Memphis Fund, she said. “Really. Just take your money.

He blinked at her, and took two unbalanced steps to the side as she opened the door for him. It was then she noticed what he had just pulled from his pocket. And the super-shiny Audi in the car park.

“Youre not driving home.

“Im fine. He batted away her protest, dropping his keys. “There arent any cars around here at night anyway.

“You cant drive.

“Were in the middle of nowhere, in case you havent noticed. He gestured at the sky. “Im miles away from everything, and stuck here, in the middle of fucking nowhere. He leaned forward, and his breath was a blast of alcohol. “Ill go very, very, slowly.

He was so drunk that peeling the keys from his hand was embarrassingly easy. “No, she said, turning back to the bar. “I wont be responsible for you having an accident. Go back inside, and Ill call you a taxi.

“Give me my keys.

“No.

“Youre stealing my keys.

“Im saving you from a driving ban. She held them aloft, and turned back toward the bar.

“Oh, for crissakes, he said. He made it sound as if she were the last in a long line of irritations. It made her want to kick him.

“Ill get you a taxi. Just . . . just sit there. Ill give you your keys back once youre safely inside it.

—

She texted Liam from her phone in the back hall.

Does this mean I get lucky? he replied.

If you like them hairy. And male.

She walked back outside and Mr. Nicholls was gone. His car was still there. She called him twice, wondering if hed headed off to a bush to relieve himself, then glanced down and there he was, fast asleep on the outside bench.

She thought, briefly, about leaving him there. But it was chilly, and the sea mists were unpredictable, and he would likely wake up without his wallet.

“Im not taking that, Liam said through the drivers window when his taxi pulled into the car park.

“Hes fine. Hes just asleep. I can tell you where hes got to go.

“Nuh-uh. Last sleeper I had woke up and vomited all down my new seat covers. Then somehow perked up enough to do a runner.

“He lives on Beachfront. Hes hardly going to do a runner. She glanced down at her watch. “Oh, come on, Liam. Its late. I just want to get home.

“Then leave him. Sorry, Jess.

“Okay. How about I stay in the car while you drop him off? If hes ill, Ill clean it up. Then you can drop me home. He can pay. She picked up Mr. Nichollss change from where he had dropped it on the ground beside the bench and sifted through it. “Thirteen pounds should do it, yes?

He pulled a face. “Ah, Jess. Dont make it hard for me.

“Please, Liam. She smiled. She placed a hand on his arm. “Pretty please.

He gazed down the road. “All right.

She lowered her head to Mr. Nichollss sleeping face, then straightened and nodded. “He says thats fine.

Liam shook his head. The flirtatious air of earlier had evaporated.

“Oh, come on, Liam. Help me get him in. I need to go home.

Mr. Nicholls lay with his head on her lap, like a sick child. She didnt know where to put her hands. She held them across the back of the rear seat, and spent the whole journey praying that he wouldnt be sick. Every time he groaned, or shifted, she wound down a window, or leaned across to check his face. Dont you dare, she told him silently. Just dont you dare. They were two minutes from the holiday park when her phone buzzed. It was Belinda, her neighbor. She squinted at the illuminated screen Boys have been after your Nicky again. Got him outside the chip shop. Nigels taken him to hospital.

A large, cold weight landed on her chest. On my way, she typed.

Nigel says hell stay with him till youre there. Ill stay here with Tanzie.

Thanks, Belinda. Ill be as quick as I can.

Mr. Nicholls shifted and let out an elongated snore. She stared at him, at his expensive haircut and his too-blue jeans, and was suddenly furious. She might have been home by now if it werent for him. It would have been her walking the dog, not Nicky.

“Here we are.

Jess directed him to Mr. Nichollss house, and they dragged him in between them, his arms slung over their shoulders, Jesss knees buckling a little under his surprising weight. He stirred a little when they reached his front door, and she fumbled through his keys, trying to find the right one, before she decided it would be easier to use her own.

“Where do you want him? said Liam, puffing.

“Sofa. Im not lugging him upstairs.

She pushed him briskly into the recovery position. She took his glasses off, threw a nearby jacket over him, and dropped his keys on the side table that she had polished earlier that day.

And then she felt able to speak the words “Liam, can you drop me at the hospital? Nickys had an accident.

—

The car sped through the empty lanes in silence. Her mind was racing. She was afraid of what she might find. How badly was he hurt? Had Tanzie seen any of it? And then, under the fear, the stupid, mundane stuff, like, Will I be hours at the hospital? A taxi from there would be at least fifteen pounds.

“You want me to wait? asked Liam, when he pulled up at A and E.

She was running across the tarmac before he had even stopped the car.

He was in a side cubicle. When the nurse showed her in through the curtain, Nigel rose from his plastic chair, his kind, doughy face taut with anxiety. Nicky was turned away, his cheekbone covered with a dressing and the beginnings of a black eye leaking color into the socket above it. A temporary bandage snaked its way around his hairline.

It was all she could do not to let out a sob.

“Theyre going to stitch it. But they want to keep him in. Check for fractures and whatnot. Nigel looked awkward. “He didnt want me to call the police. He gestured in the general direction of outside. “If youre all right, Ill be getting back to Belinda. Its late . . .

Jess whispered her thanks, and moved over to Nicky. She placed her hand on the blanket, where his shoulder was.

“Tanzies okay, he whispered, not looking at her.

“I know, sweetheart. She sat down on the plastic chair beside his bed. “What happened?

He gave a faint shrug. Nicky never wanted to talk about it. What was the point, after all? Everyone knew the score. You looked like a freak, you got battered. You still looked like a freak, they still kept coming after you. That was the crushing, immovable logic of a small town.

And just for once, she didnt know what to say to him. She couldnt tell him it was all right, because it wasnt. She couldnt tell him the police would get the Fishers, because they never did. She couldnt tell him that things would change before he knew it, because when you were a teenager your life really only stretches in your imagination about two weeks ahead, and they both knew that it wasnt going to get better by then. Or, probably, anytime soon after that.

—

“He all right? said Liam, as she walked slowly back out to the car. The adrenaline had leached out of her, and Jesss shoulders slumped with exhaustion. She opened the rear door to fetch her jacket and bag, and his eyes, in the rearview mirror, took it all in.

“Hell live.

“Little bastards. I was just talking to your neighbor. Someone ought to do something. He adjusted his mirror. “Id teach them a lesson myself if I didnt have to watch out for my license. Boredom, thats what it is. They dont know what else to do with themselves but pick on someone. Make sure you got all your stuff, Jess.

She had to half climb into the car to reach her coat. And as she did, she felt something under her feet. Semisolid, cylindrical. She moved her foot, reached down into the footwell, and came up with a fat roll of banknotes. She stared at it in the half dark, then at what had fallen down beside it. A laminated identity card, the kind you would use at an office. Both must have fallen out of Mr. Nichollss pocket when he was slumped on the backseat. Before she could think about it she stuffed them into her bag.

“Here, she said, reaching into her purse, but Liam raised a hand.

“No. Ive got it. Youve enough on your plate. He gave her a wink. “Give one of us a ring when you want picking up. On the house. Dans cleared it.

“But—

“No buts. Out you get now, Jess. Make sure that boy of yours is okay. Ill see you at the pub.

She felt almost tearful with gratitude. She stood there, one hand raised, as he circled the car park and shouted out of the drivers window “You should tell him, though, if hed just try to look a bit more normal, he might not get his head bashed in so often.