فصل 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Jess

Tanzie was nervous. She refused supper and declined to come downstairs even for a break, preferring to curl up on the pink nylon coverlet and plow through her maths papers while nibbling on what remained of the breakfast picnic. Jess was surprised her daughter rarely suffered from nerves when it came to anything maths related. She did her best to reassure her, but it was hard when she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Were nearly there! Its all good, Tanze. Nothing to worry about.

“Do you think Ill sleep tonight?

“Of course youll sleep tonight.

“But if I dont, I might do really badly.

“Even if you dont sleep, youll do fine. And Ive never known you to not sleep.

“Im worried that Ill worry too much to sleep.

“Im not worried that youll worry. Just relax. Youll be fine. It will all be fine.

When Jess kissed her, she saw that Tanzie had chewed her nails right down to the quick.

Mr. Nicholls was in the garden. He walked up and down where she and Tanzie had been half an hour earlier, talking avidly into his phone. He stopped and stared at it a couple of times, then stepped up onto a white plastic garden chair, presumably to get better reception. He stood there, wobbling, utterly oblivious to the curious glances of those inside as he gesticulated and swore.

Jess gazed through the window of the bar, unsure whether to go and interrupt him. There were a few old men gathered around the landlady as she chatted from the other side of the counter. They looked at Jess incuriously over their pints.

“Work, is it? The landlady followed her gaze through the window.

“Oh. Yes. Never stops. Jess raised a smile. “Ill take him a drink.

Mr. Nicholls was seated on a low stone wall when she finally walked out. His elbows were on his knees and he was staring at the grass.

Jess held out the pint and he stared at it for a moment, then took it from her. “Thanks. He looked exhausted.

“Everything okay?

“No. He took a long gulp of his beer. “Nothings okay.

She sat down a few feet away. “Anything I can help with?

“No.

They sat in silence. It was so peaceful there, with nothing around them except the breeze rippling across the moors, and the gentle hum of conversation from inside. She was going to say something about the landscape when his voice broke into the still air.

“Fuck it, Mr. Nicholls said vehemently. “Just fuck it.

Jess flinched.

“I just cant believe my fucking life has turned into this . . . mess. His voice cracked. “I cant believe that I can work and work for years and the whole thing can fall apart like this. For what? For fucking what?

“Its only food poisoning. Youll—

“Im not talking about the fucking kebab. He dropped his head into his hands. “But I dont want to talk about it. He shot her a warning look.

“Okay.

“Thats the thing. Legally, Im not meant to talk to anyone about any of this.

She didnt look at him.

“I cant tell a soul.

She stretched out a leg and gazed at the sunset. “Well, I dont count, do I? Im a cleaning wench.

He let out a breath. “Fuck it, he said again.

And then he told her, his head down, his hands raking his short dark hair. He told her about a girlfriend with whom he couldnt think how to break up nicely, and how his whole life had come crashing down. He told her about his company and how he should have been there now, celebrating the launch of his last six years obsessive work. And how instead he had to stay away from everything and everyone he knew all the while facing the prospect of prosecution. He told her about his dad and about the lawyer who had just rung to inform him that shortly after he returned from this trip his presence would be required at a police station in London where he would be charged with insider trading, a charge that could win him up to twenty years in prison. By the time hed finished, she felt winded.

“Everything Ive ever worked for. Everything I cared about. Im not allowed to go into my own office. I cant even go back to my flat in case the press hear of it and I let slip whats happened. I cant go and see my own dad because then hell die knowing what a bloody idiot his son is. And the stupid thing is, I miss him. I really miss him.

Jess digested this for a few minutes. He smiled bleakly at the sky. “And you know the best bit? Its my birthday.

“What?

“Today. Its my birthday.

“Today? Why didnt you say anything?

“Because Im thirty-four years old, and a thirty-four-year-old man sounds like a dick talking about birthdays. He took a swig of his beer. “And what with the whole food-poisoning thing, I didnt feel I had much to celebrate. He looked sideways at Jess. “Plus you might have started singing Happy Birthday in the car.

“Ill sing it out here.

“Please dont. Things are bad enough.

Jesss head was reeling. She couldnt believe all the stuff Mr. Nicholls was carrying around. If he had been anyone else, she might have put her arm around him, attempted to say something comforting. But Mr. Nicholls was prickly.

“Things will get better, you know, she said, when she couldnt think of anything else to say. “Karma will get that girl who messed you up.

He pulled a face. “Karma?

“Its like I tell the kids. Good things happen to good people. You just have to keep faith—

“Well, I must have been a complete shit in a past life.

“Come on. You still have property. You have cars. You have your brain. You have expensive lawyers. You can work this out.

“How come youre such an optimist?

“Because things do come right.

“And thats from a woman who doesnt have enough money to catch a train.

Jess kept her gaze on the craggy hillside. “Because its your birthday, Im going to let that one go.

Mr. Nicholls sighed. “Sorry. I know youre trying to help. But right now I find your positivity exhausting.

“No, you find driving hundreds of miles in a car with three people you dont know and a large dog exhausting. Go upstairs and have a long bath and youll feel better. Go on.

He trudged inside, the condemned man, and she sat and stared out at the slab of green moorland in front of her. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be facing prison, not to be allowed near the things or the people you loved. She tried to imagine someone like Mr. Nicholls doing time.

After a while, she walked inside with the empty glasses. She leaned over the bar, where the landlady was watching an episode of Homes Under the Hammer. The men sat in silence behind her, watching it, too, or gazing rheumily into their pints.

“Mrs. Deakins? Its actually my husbands birthday today. Would you mind doing me a favor?

—

Mr. Nicholls finally came downstairs at eight thirty, wearing the same clothes hed worn that afternoon. And the previous afternoon. Jess knew he had bathed, though, as his hair was damp and he was clean shaven.

“So whats in your bag, then? A body?

“What? He walked over to the bar. He gave off a faint scent of Wilkinson Sword soap.

“Youve worn the same clothes since we left.

He looked down, as if to check. “Oh. No. These are clean.

“You have the same T-shirt and jeans? For every day?

“Saves thinking about it.

She looked at him for a minute, then decided to bite back what she had been about to say. It was his birthday after all.

“Oh. You look nice, he said suddenly, as if hed only just noticed.

She had changed into a blue sundress and a cardigan. She had planned to save it for the Olympiad, but figured that this was important. “Well, thank you. One has to make the effort to fit ones surroundings, doesnt one?

“What—you left your flat cap and dog-haired jeans behind?

“Youre about to be sorry for your sarcasm. Because I have a surprise in store.

“A surprise? He looked instantly wary.

“Its a good one. Here. Jess handed him one of two glasses she had prepared earlier, to Mrs. Deakinss amusement. They hadnt made a cocktail here since 1997, Mrs. Deakins had observed, as Jess checked the dusty bottles behind the optics. “I figure youre well enough.

“What is this? He stared at it suspiciously.

“Scotch, triple sec, and orange juice.

He took a sip. And then a larger one. “This is all right.

“I knew youd like it. I made it especially for you. Its called a Mithering Bastard.

—

The white plastic table sat in the middle of the threadbare lawn, with two place settings of stainless-steel cutlery and a candle in a wine bottle in the middle. Jess had wiped the chairs with a bar cloth so that there was no moss left on them and now pulled one out for him.

“Were eating alfresco. Birthday treat. She ignored the look he gave her. “If you would like to take your seat, Ill go and inform the kitchen that youre here.

“Its not breakfast muffins, is it?

“Of course its not breakfast muffins. She pretended to be offended. As she walked toward the kitchen, she muttered, “Tanzie and Nicky had the rest of those.

When she arrived back at the table, Norman had flopped down on Mr. Nichollss foot. Jess suspected that Mr. Nicholls would quite like to have moved it, but she had been sat on by Norman before and he was a deadweight. You just had to pray that he shifted before your foot went black and fell off.

“How was your aperitif?

Mr. Nicholls gazed at his empty cocktail glass. “Delicious.

“Well, the main course is on its way. Im afraid its just the two of us this evening, as the other guests had prior arrangements.

“Teenager-heavy soap opera and some completely insane algebraic equations?

“You know us too well. Jess sat down in her chair, and, as she did, Mrs. Deakins picked her way across the lawn, the Pomeranians yapping at her feet. She held aloft two plates.

“There you go, she said, placing them on the table. “Steak and kidney. From Ian up the road. He does a lovely meat pie.

Jess was so hungry by then she thought she could probably have eaten Ian. “Fantastic. Thank you, she said, laying a paper napkin on her lap.

Mrs. Deakins stood and gazed around, as if seeing the setting for the first time. “We never eat out here. Lovely idea. I might offer it to my other customers. And those cocktails. I could make a package of it.

Jess thought about the old men in the bar. “Shame not to, she said, passing the vinegar across to Mr. Nicholls. He seemed temporarily stunned.

Mrs. Deakins rubbed her hands on her apron. “Well, Mr. Nicholls, your wife is certainly determined to show you a good time on your birthday, she said with a wink.

He glanced up at her. “Oh. Theres never a quiet moment with Jess, he said, letting his gaze slide back to hers.

“So how long have you two been married?

“Ten years.

“Three years.

“The children are from my previous marriages, Jess said, slicing into the pie.

“Oh! Thats—

“I rescued her, said Mr. Nicholls. “From the side of the road.

“He did.

“Thats very romantic. Mrs. Deakinss smile wavered a little.

“Not really. She was being arrested at the time.

“Ive explained all that. Wow, these chips are delicious.

“You have. And those policemen were very understanding. Considering.

Mrs. Deakins had started to back away. “Well, thats lovely. Its nice that youre still together.

“We get by.

“We have no choice right now.

“Thats true, too.

“Could you bring out some red sauce?

“Oh, good idea. Darling.

As she disappeared, Mr. Nicholls nodded toward the candle and the plates. And then he looked up at Jess and he was no longer scowling. “This is actually the best pie and chips Ive ever eaten in a weird bed-and-breakfast somewhere Ive never heard of on the north Yorkshire moors.

“Im so glad. Happy birthday.

They ate in companionable silence. It was astonishing how much better a hot meal and a strong cocktail could make you feel. Norman groaned and flopped over onto his side, releasing Mr. Nichollss foot. Ed stretched his leg speculatively, perhaps trying to see whether he still could.

He looked up at her, and raised his refreshed cocktail glass. “Seriously. Thank you. Without his glasses on, she noticed now that he had ridiculously long eyelashes. It made her feel weirdly conscious of the candle in the middle of the table. It had been a bit of a joke when shed asked for it.

“Well . . . it was the least I could do. You did rescue us. From the side of the road. I dont know what we would have done.

He speared another chip and held it aloft. “Well, I like to look after my staff.

“I think I preferred it when we were married.

“Cheers. He grinned at her, his eyes wrinkling. And it was so genuine and unexpected that she found herself grinning back.

“Heres to tomorrow. And Tanzies future.

“And a general absence of more crap.

“Ill drink to that.

—

The evening crept into night, eased by alcohol, and the happy knowledge that nobody had to sleep in a car, or needed frequent, urgent access to a bathroom. Nicky came down, gazed suspiciously from under his fringe at the men in the snug, who gazed equally suspiciously back at him, and retreated to his bedroom to watch television. Jess drank three glasses of acidic Liebfraumilch, went inside to check on Tanzie and take her some food. She made her promise she would not study later than ten oclock. “Can I keep working in your room? Nicky has the telly on.

“Thats fine, Jess said.

“You smell of wine, Tanzie said pointedly.

“Thats because were sort of on holiday. Mums are allowed to smell of wine when theyre sort of on holiday.

“Hm. She gave Jess a severe look and turned back to her books.

Nicky was sprawled on one of the single beds watching television. She shut the door behind her and sniffed the air.

“You havent been smoking, have you?

“Youve still got my stash.

“Oh yes. She had completely forgotten. “But you slept without it. Last night and the night before.

“Mm.

“Well, thats good, right?

He shrugged.

“I think the words you were looking for are Yes, its great that I no longer need illegal substances simply to fall asleep. Right, up you get for a minute. I need you to help me lift a mattress. When he didnt move, she said, “I cant sleep in there with Mr. Nicholls. Well make another bed on the floor of your room, okay?

He sighed, but he got up and helped. He didnt wince anymore when he moved, she noticed. On the carpet beside Tanzies bed, the mattress left just enough room for them to slide in and out of the door, which now only opened six inches.

“This is going to be fun if I need the loo in the night.

“Go last thing. Youre a big boy. She told Nicky to turn off the television at ten so as not to disturb Tanzie, and left them both upstairs.

—

The candle had long since expired in the stiff evening breeze, and when they could no longer see each other, they moved indoors. The conversation had meandered from parents and first jobs on to relationships. Jess told him about Marty and how he had once bought her an extension cord for her birthday, protesting, “But you said you needed one! In turn, he told her about Lara the Ex and how on her birthday he had once arranged for a chauffeur to pick her up for a surprise breakfast at a smart hotel with her friends, then spend the morning in Harvey Nichols with a personal shopper and an unlimited budget. And how when hed met her for lunch, she had complained bitterly because he hadnt taken the whole day off work. Jess thought shed quite like to slap Lara the Exs overly made-up face. She had invented this face it was probably more drag queen than was strictly necessary.

“Did you have to pay her alimony?

“Didnt have to, but I did. Until she let herself into the apartment and helped herself to my stuff for the third time.

“Did you get it back?

“It wasnt worth the hassle. If a silk screen of Mao Tse-tung is that important to her, she can have it.

“What was it worth?

“What?

“The painting.

He shrugged. “A few grand.

“You and I speak different languages, Mr. Nicholls.

“You think? Okay, then, how much maintenance does your ex pay you?

“Nothing.

“Nothing? His eyebrows had lifted to somewhere round his hairline. “Nothing at all?

“Hes a mess. You cant punish someone for being a mess.

“Even if it means you and the kids have to struggle?

How could she explain? It had taken her two years to work it out herself. She knew the kids missed him, but she was secretly relieved Marty had gone. She was relieved that she didnt have to worry about whether he was going to hijack their futures with his next ill-thought-out scheme. She was weary of his black moods and that he was permanently exhausted by the children. Mostly she was tired of never doing anything right. Marty had liked the sixteen-year-old Jess the wild, impulsive, responsibility-free Jess. Then he had weighed her down with responsibility and hadnt liked who had emerged from under it.

“When hes sorted himself out, Ill make sure he contributes his share again. But were okay. Jess glanced upstairs to where Nicky and Tanzie were sleeping. “I think this will be our turning point. And besides, you probably wont understand this, and I know everyone thinks theyre a bit odd, but Im the lucky one having them. Theyre kind and funny. She poured herself another glass of wine and took a gulp. It was definitely getting easier to drink.

“Theyre nice kids.

“Thank you, she said. “Actually, I realized something today. The last few days have been the first time I can remember where I just got to be with them. Not working, not running around doing housework or shopping or trying to catch up on all the stuff. Its been nice just hanging out with them, if that doesnt sound daft.

“It doesnt.

“And Nickys sleeping. He never sleeps. Im not sure what you did for him, but he seems—

“Oh, we just redressed the balance a little.

Jess raised her glass. “Then one good thing happened on your birthday you cheered up my boy.

“That was yesterday.

She thought for a moment. “You didnt vomit once.

“Okay. Stop now.

Mr. Nichollss whole body had finally relaxed. He leaned back, his long legs stretched out under the table. For some time now one of them had been resting against hers. She had thought fleetingly that she should move it, and hadnt, and now she couldnt without looking as if she were making a point. She felt it, an electric presence, against her bare leg.

She quite liked it.

Because something had happened somewhere between the pie and chips and the last round, and it wasnt just drink. She wanted Mr. Nicholls not to feel angry and hopeless. She wanted to see that big, sleepy grin of his, the one that seemed to defuse all the suppressed anger spread across his face.

“You know, Ive never met anyone like you, he said, gazing at the table.

Jess had been about to make a joke about cleaners and baristas and staff, but instead she just felt this great lurch in the pit of her belly and found herself picturing the taut V of his bare torso in the shower. And then she wondered what it would be like to have sex with Mr. Nicholls.

The shock of this thought was so great that she nearly said it out loud—I think it would be nice to have sex with Mr. Nicholls. She looked away, blushing, and gulped the remaining quarter glass of wine.

Mr. Nicholls was looking at her. “Dont take offense. I meant it in a good way.

“Im not taking offense. Even her ears had gone pink.

“Youre just the most positive person Ive ever met. You never seem to feel sorry for yourself. Every obstacle that comes your way, you just scramble over it.

“Ripping my trousers and falling over in the process.

“But you keep going.

“When someone helps me.

“Okay. This simile is becoming confusing. He took a swig of his beer. “I just . . . wanted to tell you. I know its nearly over. But Ive enjoyed this trip. More than I expected to.

It was out before she knew what she was saying. “Yeah. Me, too.

They sat. He was looking at her leg. She wondered if he was thinking what she was thinking.

“Do you know something, Jess?

“What?

“Youve stopped fidgeting.

They looked up at each other. She wanted to look away, but she couldnt. Mr. Nicholls had just been a means of moving forward out of an impossible mess. Now all Jess could see were his big dark eyes, the backs of his strong hands, the way his torso shifted under his T-shirt.

You need to get back on the horse.

He looked away first.

“Whoa! Look at the time. We should really get some sleep. You said we had to get up early. His voice was just a bit too loud.

“Yup. Nearly eleven already. I think I calculated that we need to leave here by seven to make it there for midday. Does that sound right to you?

“Uh . . . sure.

She swayed a little when she stood up, and reached for his arm, but hed already moved away.

They arranged an early breakfast, bade Mrs. Deakins a slightly-too-hearty good night, and made their way slowly up the stairs at the back of the pub. Jess was barely aware of what was said, for she was acutely conscious of him behind her. Of the way her hips moved when she walked. Is he watching me? Her mind swirled and dipped in unexpected directions. She wondered, briefly, what it would feel like if he were to lean forward and kiss her bare shoulder. She thought she might have made a small, involuntary sound at the thought of it.

They stopped on the landing, and she turned to face him. It felt as if, three days in, shed only just seen him.

“Good night, then, Jessica Rae Thomas. With an a and an e.

Her hand came to rest on the door handle, and her breath caught in her throat. It had been so long. Would it really be such a bad idea? She pushed down on the handle and leaned in. “Ill . . . see you in the morning.

“Id offer to make you coffee. But youre always up first.

She didnt know what to say. It was possible she was just gazing at him.

“Um . . . Jess?

“What?

“Thanks. For everything. The sickness stuff, the birthday surprise . . . In case I dont get a chance to say this tomorrow—he gave her a lopsided smile—“as ex-wives go, you were definitely my favorite.

She pushed at the door. She was going to say something, but she was distracted by the fact that the door didnt move. She turned and pushed down on the handle again. It gave, opened an inch, and no more.

“What?

“I cant open the door, she said, putting both her hands on it. Nothing.

Mr. Nicholls walked over and pushed. It gave the tiniest amount. “Its not locked, he said, working the handle. “Theres something blocking it.

She squatted down, trying to see, and Mr. Nicholls turned on the landing light. Through the two inches of door space, she could just make out Normans bulk on the other side of the door. He was lying on the mattress, his huge back to Jess.

“Norman, she hissed. “Move.

Nothing.

“Norman.

“If I push, hell have to wake up, right? Mr. Nicholls began leaning on the door. He rested his full weight on it. Then he pushed. “Jesus Christ, he said.

Jess shook her head. “You dont know my dog.

He let go of the handle and the door shut with a gentle click. They stared at each other.

“Well . . . , he said finally. “There are two beds in here. Itll be fine.

She grimaced. “Um. Norman is sleeping on the other single. I moved the mattress in there earlier.

He looked at her wearily then. “Knock on the door?

“Tanzie is stressed. I cant run the risk of waking her. Its fine. Ill . . . Ill . . . just sleep on the chair.

Jess headed down to the bathroom before he could contradict her. She washed and brushed her teeth, gazing at her alcohol-flushed skin in the plastic-framed mirror and trying to stop her thoughts chasing themselves in circles.

When she arrived back at the room, Mr. Nicholls was holding up one of his dark gray T-shirts. “Here, he said, and threw it at her as he walked past to the bathroom. Jess changed into it, trying to ignore the vague eroticism of its scent, pulled the spare blanket and a pillow out of the wardrobe, and curled up in the chair, struggling to bring her knees up to a position that made it comfortable. It was going to be a long night.

Some minutes later, Mr. Nicholls opened the door and turned off the overhead light. He was wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of dark blue boxers. She saw that his legs bore the long, visible muscles of someone who does no-excuses exercise. She knew immediately how they would feel against her own. The thought made her swallow.

The little bed sagged audibly as he climbed in.

“Are you comfortable like that?

“Totally fine! she said too loudly. “You?

“If one of these springs impales me while I sleep, you have my permission to take the car the rest of the way.

He gazed at her across the room for a moment longer, then turned out the bedside light.

—

The darkness was total. Outside, a faint breeze moaned through unseen gaps in the stone, trees rustled, and a car door slammed, its engine roaring a protest. In the next room, Norman whined in his sleep, the sound only partially muffled by the thin plasterboard wall. Jess could hear Mr. Nicholls breathing, and although she had spent the previous night only inches from him, she was acutely conscious of his presence in a way she hadnt been twenty-four hours earlier. She thought of the way he had made Nicky smile, of the way his fingers rested on a steering wheel.

She thought about an expression she had heard Nicky use a few weeks ago YOLO—You only live once, and remembered how she had told him she thought it was just an excuse idiots used for doing pretty much anything they felt like doing, no matter what the consequences.

She thought about Liam, and how she knew in her gut that he was probably having sex with someone right this minute—that ginger barmaid from the Blue Parrot, maybe, or the Dutch girl who drove the flower van. She thought about a conversation shed had with Chelsea when Chelsea had told her she should lie about her kids because no man would ever fall in love with a single mother of two, and how Jess had gotten angry with her because deep down she knew she was probably right.

She thought about the fact that even if Mr. Nicholls didnt go to prison, she would probably never see him again after this trip.

And then, before she could think too hard about anything else, Jess eased herself silently out of the chair, letting the blanket fall to the floor. It took only four steps to reach the bed, and she hesitated, her bare toes curled in the acrylic carpet, even then not quite sure what she was doing. You only live once. And then in the inky dark there was a faint movement and she saw Mr. Nicholls turn to face her as she lifted the cover and climbed in.

Jess was chest to chest against him, her cool legs against his warm ones. There was nowhere else to go in this tiny bed, with the sag of the mattress pushing them closer together and its edge like a cliff drop just inches behind her. They were so close that she could breathe in the remnants of his aftershave, his toothpaste. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest, as her heart thumped erratically against his. She tilted her head a little, trying to read him. He put his right arm across the duvet, a surprisingly heavy weight, gathering her in closer to him. With his other, he took her hand and enclosed it slowly in his. It was dry and soft, and inches from her mouth. She wanted to lower her face to his knuckles and trace her lips along them. She wanted to reach her mouth up to his . . .

You only live once.

She lay there in the dark, paralyzed by her own longing.

“Do you want to have sex with me? she said into the darkness.

There was a long silence.

“Did you hear what—

“Yes, he said. “And . . . no. He spoke again before she could turn completely to stone. “I just think it would make things too complicated.

“Its not complicated. Were both young, lonely, a bit pissed. And after tonight were never going to see each other again.

“How so?

“Youll go back to London and lead your city life, and Ill be down on the coast leading mine. It doesnt have to be a big deal.

He was silent for a minute. “Jess . . . I dont think so.

“You dont fancy me. She prickled with embarrassment, remembering suddenly what hed said about his ex. Lara was a model, for crissakes. She shifted away from him, and his hand tightened around hers.

“Youre beautiful. His voice was a murmur in her ear.

She waited. His thumb brushed over her palm. “So . . . why wont you sleep with me?

He didnt say anything.

“Look. Heres the thing. I havent had sex in three years. I sort of need to get back on the horse, and I think it—you—would be great.

“You want me to be a horse.

“Not like that. I need a metaphorical horse.

“And now were back to the weird metaphors.

“Look, a woman you say you find beautiful is offering you no-strings sex. I dont understand the problem.

“Theres no such thing as no-strings sex.

“What?

“Someone always wants something.

“I dont want anything from you.

She felt him shrug. “Not now, maybe.

“Wow. She turned onto her side. “She really got to you, didnt she?

“I just . . .

Jess slid her foot along his leg. “You think Im trying to lure you in? You think this is me trying to entrap you with my womanly wiles? My womanly wiles, a nylon bedspread, and pie and chips? She interlinked her fingers with his, let her voice drop to a whisper. She felt unleashed, reckless. She thought she might actually faint with how much she wanted him then. “I dont want a relationship, Ed. With you or anyone. Theres no room in my life for the whole one-plus-one thing. She tilted her face so that her mouth was inches from his. “Id have thought that would be obvious.

He moved his hips an awkward fraction away from hers. “You are . . . incredibly persuasive.

“And you are . . . She hooked her leg around him, pulling him closer. His hardness made her briefly giddy.

He swallowed.

Her lips were millimeters from his now. All the nerves of her body had somehow concentrated themselves in her skin. Or maybe his skin—she could no longer tell.

“Its the last night. At worst we can exchange a glance over the vacuum cleaner and Ill just remember this as a nice night with a nice guy who actually was a nice guy. She let her lips graze his chin. It carried the faint trace of stubble. She wanted to bite it. “You, of course, will remember it as the greatest sex you ever had.

“And thats it. His voice was thick, distracted.

Jess moved closer. “Thats it, she murmured.

“Youd have made a great negotiator.

“Do you ever stop talking? She moved forward until her lips met his. She almost jolted. She felt the pressure of his mouth on hers as he ceded to her, the sweetness of him. And she no longer cared about anything. She wanted him. She burned with it.

And then he pulled back. She felt, rather than saw, Ed Nicholls gazing at her. His eyes were black in the darkness, unfathomable. He moved his hand and as it brushed lightly against her stomach she gave a faint, involuntary shiver.

“Fuck, he said quietly. “Fucking fuck. And then, with a groan, he said, “You will actually thank me for this tomorrow.

And he gently disentangled himself from her, climbed out of bed, walked over to the chair, sat down, and, with a great sigh, hauled the blanket over himself and turned away.