فصل 02

CHAPTER TWO

Tanzie

Twenty-six cars sat in the car park at St. Annes. Two rows of thirteen shiny four-wheel-drives faced each other, sliding in and out of the spaces at an average angle of 41 degrees before the next in line moved in.

Tanzie watched them as she and Mum crossed the road from the bus stop, the drivers talking illegally into phones or mouthing at bug-eyed blond babies in the rear seats. Mum lifted her chin and fiddled with her house keys in her free hand, as if they were actually her car keys and she and Tanzie just happened to have parked somewhere nearby. Mum kept glancing behind her. Tanzie guessed she was worried she was going to bump into one of her cleaning clients, who would ask what she was doing there.

Tanzie had never been inside St. Annes, although shed passed it on the bus at least ten times because the National Health Service dentist was on this road. From the outside, there was just an endless hedge, trimmed to exactly 90 degrees she wondered if the gardener used a protractor, and big trees where the branches hung low, sweeping out across the playing fields as if they were there to shelter the children below.

The children at St. Annes did not swing bags at each others heads or back each other against the wall to steal lunch money. There were no weary-sounding teachers herding the teenagers into classrooms. The girls had not rolled their skirts six times over at the waistband. Not a single person was smoking. Her mother gave her hand a little squeeze. Tanzie wished she didnt look so nervous. “Its nice, isnt it, Mum?

She nodded. “Yes. It came out as a squeak.

“Mr. Tsvangarai told me that every single one of their sixth-formers who did maths got A or A starred. Thats good, isnt it?

“Amazing.

Tanzie pulled a bit at Mums hand so they could get to the headmasters office faster. “Do you think Norman will miss me when Im doing the long days?

“The long days.

“St. Annes doesnt finish till six. And theres maths club on Tuesdays and Thursdays—Id definitely want to do that.

Her mother glanced at her. She looked really tired. She was always tired these days. She put on one of those smiles that wasnt really a smile at all, and they went in.

—

“Hello, Mrs. Thomas. Hello, Costanza. Its very good to meet you. Do sit down.

The headmasters study had a high ceiling with white plaster rosettes every twenty centimeters, and tiny rosebuds exactly halfway between them. The room was stuffed with old furniture and through a large bay window a man on a ride-on mower traveled slowly up and down a cricket pitch. On a small table somebody had laid out a tray of coffee and biscuits. You could tell they were homemade. Mum used to make the same kind before Dad left.

Tanzie sat down on the edge of the sofa and gazed at the two men opposite. The one with the mustache smiled like the nurse did before she gave you an injection. Mum had pulled her bag onto her lap and Tanzie could see her holding her hand over the corner Norman had chewed. Her leg was jiggling.

“This is Mr. Cruikshank. Hes the head of maths. And Im Mr. Daly. Ive been head here for the past two years.

Tanzie looked up from her biscuit.

“Do you do chords?

“We do, Mr. Cruikshank said.

“And probability?

“That, too.

Mr. Cruikshank leaned forward. “Weve been looking at your test results. And we think, Costanza, that you should sit your GCSE in maths next year and get it out of the way. Because I think youd rather enjoy the A-level problems.

She looked at him. “Have you got actual papers?

“Ive got some next door. Would you like to see them?

She couldnt believe he was asking. She thought briefly of saying “Well, duh, like Nicky would. But she just nodded.

Mr. Daly handed Mum a coffee. “I wont beat around the bush, Mrs. Thomas. You are well aware that your daughter has an exceptional ability. We have only seen scores like hers once before and that was from a pupil who went on to be a fellow at Trinity.

He went on and on so much that Tanzie tuned out a little “. . . for a very select group of pupils who have a demonstrably unusual ability, we have created a new equal-access scholarship. Blah, blah, blah. “It would offer a child who might not otherwise get the advantages of a school like this the chance to fulfill their potential in . . . Blah, blah. “While we are very keen to see how far Costanza could go in the field of maths, we would also want to make sure that she was well rounded in other parts of her student life. We have a full sporting and musical curriculum. Blah, blah, blah . . . “Numerate children are often also able in languages . . . Blah, blah . . . and drama—thats often very popular with girls of her age.

“I only really like maths, she told him. “And dogs.

“Well, we dont have much in the way of dogs, but wed certainly offer you lots of opportunities to stretch yourself mathematically. But I think you might be surprised by what else you enjoy. Do you play any instruments?

She shook her head.

“Any languages?

The room went a bit quiet.

“Other interests?

“We go swimming on Fridays, Mum said.

“We havent been swimming since Dad left.

Mum smiled, but it went a bit wonky. “We have, Tanzie.

“Once. May the thirteenth. But now you work on Fridays.

Mr. Cruikshank left the room, and reappeared a moment later with his papers. She stuffed the last biscuit into her mouth, then got up and went to sit next to him. He had a whole pile of them. Stuff she hadnt even started yet!

She began going through the pages with him, showing him what she had done and what she hadnt, and in the background she could hear Mum and the headmasters voices rumbling away.

It sounded like it was going all right. Tanzie let her attention travel to what was on the page. “Yes, Mr. Cruikshank was saying quietly, his finger on the page. “But the curious feature of renewal processes is that, if we wait some predetermined time and then observe how large the renewal interval containing it is, we should expect it to be typically larger than a renewal interval of average size.

She knew about this! “So the monkeys would take longer to type Macbeth?

“Thats it. He smiled. “I wasnt sure youd have covered any renewal theory.

“I havent, really. But Mr. Tsvangarai told me about it once and I looked it up on the Internet. I liked the whole monkey thing. She flicked through the papers. The numbers sang to her. She could feel her brain humming and she knew she had to go to this school. “Mum, she said. She didnt usually interrupt, but she was too excited and forgot her manners. “Do you think we could get some of these problems?

Mr. Daly looked over. He didnt seem to mind about the missing manners. “Mr. Cruikshank, have we any spares?

“You can take these.

He handed them over! Just like that! Outside a bell rang and she could hear children walking past the office window, their shoes crunching on the gravel.

“So . . . what happens next? Mum asked.

“Well, wed like to offer Costanza . . . Tanzie . . . a scholarship. Mr. Daly lifted a glossy folder from the table. “Heres our prospectus and the relevant documentation. The scholarship covers ninety percent of the fees. Its the most generous scholarship this school has ever offered. Usually fifty percent is our maximum, given the extensive waiting list of pupils hoping to come here. He held out the plate toward Tanzie. Somehow they had filled it with new biscuits. This really was the greatest school ever.

“Ninety percent, Mum said. She put her biscuit back on her saucer.

“I do appreciate that there is still a considerable financial commitment involved. And there would also be uniform and travel costs, and any extras she might want, like music or school trips. But I would like to stress that this is an incredible opportunity. He leaned forward. “We would love to have you here, Tanzie. Your maths teacher says youre a joy to work with.

“I like school, she said, reaching for another biscuit. “I know lots of my friends think its boring. But I prefer school to home.

They all laughed awkwardly.

“Not because of you, Mum, she said, and helped herself to another biscuit. “But my mum does have to work a lot.

Everyone went quiet.

“We all do, these days, said Mr. Cruikshank.

“Well, Mr. Daly said, “its a lot for you to think about. And Im sure you have other questions for us. But why dont you finish your coffee, and then Ill get one of our pupils to show you around the rest of the school? Then you can discuss this between yourselves.

—

Tanzie was in the garden throwing a ball for Norman. She was determined that one day he would fetch it and bring it back. She had read somewhere that repetition increased the probability of an animal learning how to do something by a factor of four. She wasnt sure Norman could count, though.

Theyd got Norman from the animal shelter after Dad left and Mum stayed awake for eleven nights in a row worrying that they would be murdered in their beds once everyone realized hed gone. Brilliant with kids, a fantastic guard dog, the rescue center said. Mum kept saying, “But hes so big.

“Even more of a deterrent, they said with cheery smiles. “And did we mention hes brilliant with kids?

Two years on, Mum said Norman was basically an enormous eating and crapping machine. He drooled on cushions and howled in his sleep, plodded around the house shedding hair and leaving evil smells behind him. Mum said the rescue center had been right nobody would break into their house for fear Norman would gas them to death.

She had given up trying to ban him from Tanzies bedroom. When Tanzie woke up in the morning, he was always stretched across three quarters of the bed, hairy legs across her bedsheet, leaving her shivering under a tiny corner of duvet. Mum used to mutter about hairs and hygiene, but Tanzie didnt mind.

Theyd got Nicky when she was two. Tanzie went to bed one night and when she woke, he was in the spare room and Mum just said he would be staying and he was her brother. Tanzie had once asked him what he thought their shared genetic material was, and hed said, “The weird loser gene. She thought he might have been joking, but she didnt know enough about genetics to check.

She was rinsing her hands under the outside tap when she heard them talking. Nickys window was open and their voices floated out into the garden.

“Did you pay that water bill? Nicky said.

“No. I havent had a chance to get to the post office.

“It says its a final reminder.

“I know its a final reminder. Mum was snappy, like she always was when she talked about money. There was a pause. Norman picked up the ball and dropped it near her feet. It lay there, slimy and disgusting.

“Sorry, Nicky. I . . . just need to get this conversation out of the way. Ill sort it out tomorrow morning. I promise. You want to speak to your dad?

Tanzie knew what the answer would be. Nicky never wanted to talk to Dad anymore.

“Hey.

Tanzie moved right under the window and stood really still. She could hear Dads voice on Skype, tense.

“Everything all right? She wondered if he thought that something bad had happened. Perhaps if he thought Tanzie had leukemia, he might come back. She had watched a TV film once where the girls parents divorced and then got back together because she got leukemia. She didnt actually want leukemia, though, because needles made her pass out and she had quite nice hair.

“Everythings fine, Mum said. She didnt tell him about Nicky getting battered.

“Whats going on?

A pause.

“Has your mum decorated? Mum asked.

“What?

“New wallpaper.

“Oh. That.

Grandmas house had new wallpaper? Tanzie felt weird. Dad and Grandma were living in a house that she might not recognize anymore. It had been 348 days since she last saw Dad. It was 433 days since shed seen Grandma.

“I need to talk to you about Tanzies schooling.

“Why? Whats she done?

“Nothing like that, Marty. Shes been offered a scholarship to St. Annes.

“St. Annes?

“They think her maths is off the scale.

“St. Annes. He said it like he couldnt believe it. “I mean, I knew she was bright but . . .

He sounded really pleased. She pressed her back against the wall and went up on tippy-toes to hear better. Perhaps hed come back if she was going to St. Annes.

“Our little girl at the posh school, eh? His voice had puffed up with pride. Tanzie could imagine him already working out what to tell his mates at the pub. Except he couldnt go to the pub. Because he always told Mum he had no money to enjoy himself. “So whats the problem?

“Well . . . its a big scholarship. But it doesnt cover everything.

“Meaning what?

“Meaning wed still have to find five hundred pounds a term. And the uniform. And the registration fee of five hundred pounds.

The silence went on for so long Tanzie wondered if the computer had crashed.

“They said once weve been there a year we can apply for a hardship fee. Some bursary or something where, if youre a deserving case, they can give you extra. But basically we need to find the best part of two grand to get her through the first year.

And then Dad laughed. He actually laughed. “Youre joking, right?

“No, I am not joking.

“How am I meant to find two grand, Jess?

“I just thought Id—

“Ive not even got a proper job yet. Theres nothing going on round here. Im . . . Im only just getting back on my feet. Im sorry, babe, but theres no way.

“Cant your mum help? She might have some savings. Can I talk to her?

“No. Shes . . . out. And I dont want you tapping her for money. Shes got worries enough as it is.

“Im not tapping her for money, Marty. I thought she might want to help her only grandchildren.

“Theyre not her only grandchildren anymore. Elena had a little boy.

Tanzie stood very still.

“I didnt even know Elena was pregnant.

“Yeah, I meant to tell you.

Tanzie had a baby cousin. And she hadnt even known. Norman flopped down at her feet. He looked at her with his big brown eyes, then rolled over slowly with a groan, as if it were really, really hard work just lying on the floor.

“Well . . . what if we sell the Rolls?

“I cant sell the Rolls. Im going to start the weddings business up again.

“Its been rusting in our garage for the best part of two years.

“I know. And Ill come and get it. I just havent got anywhere to store it safely up here.

The voices had that edge now. Their conversations often ended this way. She heard Mum take a deep breath. “Can you at least think about it, Marty? She really wants to go to this place. Really, really wants to go. When the maths teacher spoke to her, her whole face lit up like I havent seen since—

“Since I left.

“I didnt mean it like that.

“So its all my fault.

“No, its not all your fault, Marty. But Im not going to sit here and pretend that you going has been a barrel of laughs for them. Tanzie doesnt understand why you dont visit her. She doesnt understand why she hardly gets to see you anymore.

“I cant afford the fares, Jess. You know that. Theres no point you going on and on at me. Ive been ill.

“I know youve been ill.

“She can come and see me anytime. I told you. Send them both at half term.

“I cant. Theyre too young to travel all that way alone. And I cant afford the fares for all of us.

“And I suppose thats my fault, too.

“Oh, for Christs sake.

Tanzie dug her nails into the soft parts of her hands. Norman kept looking at her, waiting.

“I dont want to argue with you, Marty, Mum said, and her voice was low and careful, like when a teacher is trying to explain something to you that you should already know. “I just want you to think about whether there is any way at all you could contribute to this. It would change Tanzies life. It would mean she never has to struggle in the way that . . . we struggle.

“You cant say that.

“What do you mean?

“Dont you watch the news, Jess? All the graduates are out of work. It doesnt matter what education you get. Shes still going to struggle. He paused. “No. Theres no point us going further into hock just for this. Of course these schools are going to tell you its all special, and shes special, and her life chances are going to be amazing if she goes, et cetera, et cetera. Thats what they do.

Mum didnt say anything.

“No, if shes bright like they say she is, shell make her own way. Shell have to go to McArthurs like everyone else.

“Like the little bastards who spend all their time working out how to bash Nickys face in. And the girls who wear four inches of makeup and wont do PE in case they break a nail. She wont fit in there, Marty. She just wont.

“Now you sound like a snob.

“No, I sound like someone who accepts that her daughter is a little bit different. And might need a school that embraces it.

“Cant do it, Jess. Im sorry. He sounded distracted now, as if hed heard something in the distance. “Look. Ive got to go. Get her to Skype me Sunday.

There was a long silence.

Tanzie counted to fourteen.

She heard the door open and Nickys voice “That went well, then.

Tanzie leaned over and finally rubbed Normans tummy. She closed her eyes so she didnt see the tear that plopped onto Norman.

“Have we done any lottery tickets lately?

“No.

That silence lasted nine seconds. Then Mums voice echoed into the still air “Well, I think maybe wed better start.