5 ثانیه برای تغییر زندگیتان

CHAPTER ONE

FIVE SECONDS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

You are about to learn something remarkable—it takes just five seconds to change your life. Sounds like a gimmick, doesn’t it? I know. It’s not. It’s science. I’m gonna prove it to you. You change your life one five-second decision at a time. It’s the fact and it’s the only way you change.

This is the story of the 5 Second Rule: what it is, why it works, and how it’s transformed the lives of people around the world. The Rule is easy to learn and its impact is profound. It’s the secret to changing anything. Now once you learn the Rule, you can start using it immediately. And the Rule’s gonna help you live, love, work, and speak with greater confidence and courage every single day. Here’s the cool part, once you use it, it’s gonna be there for you whenever you need it.

Now I created the 5 Second Rule at a time in my life when everything was falling apart. And by everything, I mean everything: my marriage, finances, career, self-esteem, they were all in the gutter. My problems seemed so big that it was a struggle, each and every morning to get out of bed. That’s actually how the Rule began—I invented the Rule to help me break my habit of hitting the snooze button.

When I used the Rule for the very first time seven years ago, I’ll admit, I thought it was silly. Little did I know I had invented a powerful metacognition technique that would change absolutely everything about my life, work, and sense of self.

What’s happened to me since discovering the 5 Second Rule and the power of five second decisions is unbelievable. I not only woke up—I shook up my entire life. I’ve used this one tool to take control and improve everything from my confidence to my cash flow, my marriage to my career, and my productivity to my parenting. I have gone from bouncing checks to seven figures in the bank and from fighting with my husband to celebrating 20 years of marriage. Using the Rule I’ve cured myself of anxiety, built and sold two small businesses, been recruited to join the teams at CNN and SUCCESS magazine, and now I’m one of the most booked-speakers in the world. I’ve never felt more in control, happy, or free. And I couldn’t have done any of it without the Rule.

You see the 5 Second Rule changed everything … by teaching me just one thing: HOW to change.

Using the Rule, I replaced my tendency to overthink the smallest moves with a bias toward action. I used the Rule to master self-monitoring and become more present and productive. The Rule taught me how to stop doubting and start believing in myself, my ideas, and my abilities. And, the Rule has given me the inner strength to become a better and much happier person, not for other people, but for me.

And the Rule, it’s gonna do the same thing for you. That is why I am so excited to share it with you. In the next few chapters, you’ll learn the story behind the Rule, what it is, why it works. You also gonna learn the compelling science that backs it up. You’ll discover how five second decisions and acts of everyday courage change your life. Finally, you’ll learn how you can use the 5SecondRule in combination with the latest research-backed strategies to become healthier, happier, and more productive and effective at work. You’ll also learn how to use it to end worry, manage anxiety, find meaning in your life and beat any fear.

And, that’s not all. You’re gonna hear a lot of proof. This book is packed, packed with social media posts and first-hand accounts from people all over the world who are using the Rule to make some amazing things happen. Yes, the Rule will definitely help you wake up on time, but what it really does is something far more remarkable—it wakes up the inner genius, leader, rock star, athlete, artist, and change agent that’s inside of you.

When you first learn the Rule, you’ll likely start using it to stick to your goals. You might use the Rule to push yourself to get to the gym like Margaret does when she isn’t “feeling it.”

Or you may use the Rule to become more influential at work. That’s how Mal first used the Rule—to find the courage to meet with his boss and talk about his career goals (something that so many of us fear). Thanks to the Rule, not only happened, but the conversation went great. His boss is now supporting him in his new goals.

You know that’s another thing that’s unique about the 5Second Rule—I may have created it, but it’s not just my story to tell. And soon it’s gonna be your story to tell, too. And inside this book, you’re gonna meet people around the world from all walks of life who are using the Rule, in ways big and small, to take charge of their lives. Their diverse experiences are gonna help you understand just how limitless the applications for the Rule and its benefits truly are.

For example you can use the Rule to become more productive. Before the 5 Second Rule, Laura used to make endless to-do lists and sat around making excuses and being a jerk to herself. Now, now that she knows the Rule, there’s absolutely no room in Laura’s life for excuses—only action. Laura has used the Rule to increase her cash flow by $4,000 a month, finished her bachelor’s degree, she’s hiked a few 4,000 footers. And next up, run a marathon.

You can use the Rule to step outside of your comfort zone and become more effective at networking. Ken used the 5 Second Rule the same day he learned it at the Project Management Institute National Conference to meet people he called “movers and shakers”. Matthew used the Rule to cold-call C-Level executives, and Alan used it to meet “a dozen folks he wouldn’t have otherwise” at a PGA Tour event.

Another way you can use the Rule, you can use it for self-monitoring and also for controling your emotions. Jenna uses the Rule as a mom to practice “patience instead of snapping at” her kids. She’s also using it as a sales tool in her new direct selling business. The Rule helps her stop thinking about how “intimidating” it is to sell and gives her the courage to start selling.

Executives inside some of the world’s most respected brands are using the 5Second Rule to help their managers change, drive sales, engage teams, and innovate. Crystal at USAA is using the Rule with her entire sales team and guess what, the result has been pretty awesome—they’ve jumped to “1 in their agent.”

The 5SecondRule is so easy to learn and so important for confidence that we see managers, like Muz, teaching it to teams all over the world.

Now another thing you can use the Rule for, you’re gonna be inspired, you’re gonna be inspired by people who are finding the courage, the courage to stop thinking and start putting their ideas into action. Mark’s a great example of that, he spent decades thinking about starting a nonprofit ice hockey league for inner city kids. The moment he learned the 5 Second Rule, that’s how he finally got the idea “out of his head” and he got “into action.” And just a few short weeks later, guess what, he’s partner with former Olympians and NHL alumni to create camps and clinics, and leagues. It’s called The Urban Street hokey program and you can find it in Boston Massachusetts.

The Rule is also a very powerful tool in the battles of addiction and depression. Bill learned about the 5SecondRule on a Reddit thread and it was the “Right message, the Right place, at the Right time. That was just a lot that happens” He started using the Rule’s “countdown trick” to quit drinking and it’s working “amazing!!” He actually just celebrated his 40th birthday completely sober.

And the 5 Second Rule, might even save your life. A work colleague of mine recently reached out and shared a very poignant 5SecondRule story with me. After he and his wife split up, he fell into a deep depression. It got so bad that he “contemplated suicide.” At his lowest point, he used the Rule to “put it down and call for help.” Finding the courage to get out of his head by counting 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 and then giving himself a push to call for help saved his life.

In using the Rule for more than seven years, and hearing from people all over the world, I’ve come to realize that every single day, you and I face moments that are difficult, uncertain, or scary. Life requires courage. And that is exactly what the Rule will help you discover—the courage to become your greatest self.

Now you may be wondering How Can One Simple Tool Work in So Many Ways?

It’s a great question. Here’s the answer, the 5SecondRule, it’s only ever working on one thing—YOU. You have greatness inside of you. Even at your lowest point, greatness is there. The Rule’s gonna give you both the clarity to hear that greatness and the courage to act on it.

Using the Rule, I have discovered the courage to do things that I had spent years thinking about and making excuses for. Only through action was I abled to unlock the power inside of myself to become the person that I’ve always wanted to be. And the confidence that you see when you see me on TV or you see me online, or on stage in front of tens of thousands of people, it’s what I call “Real Confidence.” I’ve built Real Confidence and so can you, by learning how to honor my instincts with action so that they come to life in the real world. I use the word “honor” on purpose. That’s what you are doing when you use the 5 Second Rule. You are honoring yourself. You are using the Rule to push yourself to champion your ideas. And each and every time you use it, you take one step closer to being the person you are truly meant to be. Look I have only changed from the kind of person who just thinks about my ideas to having the confidence to share, act on, and pursue my ideas because of the Rule. And if you use the 5 Second Rule consistently, you’re gonna start to honor your instincts with action, too. The exact same transformation that I’ve experienced will absolutely happen to you. You don’t have to take my word for it, you’re gonna hear from people throughout this book.

Marlowe for example discovered just how easy it is to use the Rule to transform herself. Days after learning the Rule, she used the 5 second count down to stop thinking about signing up for classes and actually do it, which by the way she “had been thinking about signing up for classes but kept making excuses for a very long time.” And I bet there are things that you’re thinking about doing, that you’re making excuses for and perhaps like Marlowe, you’ve been knowing it for a very long time.

Well, as Marlowe put it, this is what she said, “it’s absolutely incredible and awe-inspiring how easy things become when you wrap your head around your own ability to PUSH yourself.”

You know what, she’s right. Once you start using the Rule to push yourself out of your head and into action, you’re gonna be “astonished” by how easy it is to make a five second decision that changes everything.

Now as I used the Rule more and more in my life, I realized that I was making small decisions all day long that held me back. In five seconds flat, I’d decide to stay quiet, to wait, to not risk it. I’d have an instinct to act and within five seconds my mind would kill it with doubt, excuses, worry, or fear. More and more as I used the Rule, first starting to wake up on time and then pushing myself to do other things, I realized something and it wasn’t that easy to admit to myself. I was the problem. That’s right. I was the problem in my life. But there was something else that I saw that was equally as powerful, in five seconds I could push myself and I could become the solution. The secret to change had been right in front of my face the entire time—five second decisions. That’s right. That is the secret to changing anything. The ability to make a 5 second decision. You don’t know this yet, but by the time that you and I are finished with this book, it will be undeniable that you are making decisions 5 seconds at a time. That impact everything.

Do you ever seen that famous commencement address that David Foster Wallace gave at Kenyon College in 2005? If you haven’t seen it or read it, you really should check it out. You can find it on YouTube and it’s definitely worth the 20 minutes it takes to watch.

Well in it, David Foster Wallace steps up to the mic and starts off with this joke. Here’s how it goes:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how’s the water?”

And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of the young fish looks at the other young fish and goes, “What the hell is water?”

Now you can hear the audience laugh in the video, and then Wallace explains the immediate point of the fish story is this “the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about.” For me, the hardest thing to see and talk about was the very nature of change itself. I had always wondered why it was so damn hard to make myself do the things that I knew I should be doing in order to expand my career, enrich my relationships, become healthier, and improve my life. Well, guess what, discovering the 5SecondRule gave me the million-dollar answer—change comes down to the courage that you need every day to make five seconds decisions. That’s the answer, 5 seconds decisions. But we’re so in the thick of it in our lives that we just can’t see it. Here’s something that I want you to think about.

You Are One Decision Away from a Completely Different Life

Just one and inside this book, I’m going to share everything that I’ve learned about change and the power of everyday courage. It had make decision, small decisions that change everything. You’re going to love what you are about to learn. And the coolest part, that’s gonna be when you start to use the Rule and see the results for yourself. You’re not only gonna wake up and realize just how much you’ve held yourself back. You will also awaken the power that’s been inside of you all along.

As you listen to the stories inside these pages, you might even realize that you’ve used the 5SecondRule before. If you look back on your life and reflect on some of the most important moments, I guarantee you. You’ve made a life-changing decision purely on instinct. In five seconds flat, you’ve made, what I call, a “heart-first decision.” That’s when you ignored your fears and you let your courage and your confidence speak for you. Five seconds of courage, boy, it makes all the difference.

Just ask Catherine. When she first learned about the 5SecondRule at her company’s executive leadership offsite, it made her realize that she had used the Rule to make one of the most important decisions of her life—she just didn’t realize it at the time. In 1990, her sister Tracy was killed and Catherine traveled back home to help. That’s when that she put “a 5 Second decision” changed not only her life “but so many others as well.” You see she decided to raise her sister’s “two little ones” who were “left behind” when her sister Tracy died.

I love how she describes the decision as a “no brainer”— that’s because when you act with courage, your brain is not involved. Your heart speaks first and you listen. The Rule, the reason why it’s so damn powerful as the rule, is gonna teach you how to make these “heart first” decisions..

Will it take some effort on your part to discover the power that’s inside you? You’d better believe it will. But as Marlowe just said a few moment ago, “It is absolutely incredible how awe-inspiring and how easy things become” when you do.

Doing the work to improve your life is simple, you can do it, and it’s work you want to do—because it’s the most important work that there is. It is the work of learning how to love and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start leaning into all the magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work, and relationships have to offer.

Now I’ve already told you, I’m so excited to hear what happens when you start using the 5SecondRule. But as usual I’m jumping ahead of the story. So before we can talk about all the super exciting ways that you can use the Rule, I’ve got to take you back to 2009 and explain how all this stuff happened.