5 ثانیه برای تغییر زندگیتان

کتاب: قانون 5 ثانیه / فصل 1

5 ثانیه برای تغییر زندگیتان

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You are about to learn something remarkable—it takes just five seconds to change your life. Sounds like a gimmick, doesn’t it? It’s not. It’s science. I’ll prove it to you. You change your life one five-second decision at a time. In fact, it’s the only way you change.

This is the true story of the 5 Second Rule: what it is, why it works, and how it has transformed the lives of people around the world. The Rule is easy to learn and its impact is profound. It’s the secret to changing anything. Once you learn the Rule, you can start using it immediately. The Rule will help you live, love, work, and speak with greater confidence and courage every day. Use it once and it’ll be there for you whenever you need it.

I created the 5 Second Rule at a time in my life when everything was falling apart. And by everything, I mean everything: my marriage, finances, career, and self-esteem were all in the gutter. My problems seemed so big that it was a struggle each morning just to get out of bed. That’s actually how the Rule began—I invented the Rule to help me break my habit of hitting the snooze button.

When I used the Rule for the very first time seven years ago, I thought it was silly. Little did I know that I had invented a powerful metacognition technique that would change absolutely everything about my life, work, and sense of self.

What’s happened to me since discovering the 5 Second Rule and the power of five second decisions is unbelievable. I not only woke up—I shook up my entire life. I’ve used this one tool to take control and improve everything from my confidence to my cash flow, my marriage to my career, and my productivity to my parenting. I have gone from bouncing checks to seven figures in the bank and from fighting with my husband to celebrating 20 years of marriage. I’ve cured myself of anxiety, built and sold two small businesses, been recruited to join the teams at CNN and SUCCESS magazine, and I’m now one of the most-booked speakers in the world. I’ve never felt more in control, happy, or free. I couldn’t have done any of it without the Rule.

The 5 Second Rule changed everything … by teaching me just one thing: HOW to change.

Using the Rule, I replaced my tendency to overthink the smallest moves with a bias toward action. I used the Rule to master self-monitoring and become more present and productive. The Rule taught me how to stop doubting and start believing in myself, my ideas, and my abilities. And, the Rule has given me the inner strength to become a better and much happier person, not for others, but for me.

The Rule can do the same for you. That’s why I am so excited to share it with you. In the next few chapters, you’ll learn the story behind the Rule, what it is, why it works, and the compelling science to back it up. You’ll discover how five second decisions and acts of everyday courage change your life. Finally, you’ll learn how you can use the #5SecondRule in combination with the latest research-backed strategies to become healthier, happier, and more productive and effective at work. You’ll also learn how to use it to end worry, manage anxiety, find meaning in your life and beat any fear.

And, that’s not all. You’ll see proof. Lots of proof. This book is packed with social media posts and first-hand accounts from people all over the world who are using the Rule to make some amazing things happen. Yes, the Rule will help you wake up on time, but what it really does is something far more remarkable—it wakes up the inner genius, leader, rock star, athlete, artist, and change agent inside of you.

When you first learn the Rule, you’ll likely start using it to stick to your goals. You might use the Rule to push yourself to get to the gym like Margaret does when she isn’t “feeling it.”

Or you may use the Rule to become more influential at work. That’s how Mal first used the Rule—to find the courage to meet with his boss and talk about his career goals (something that so many of us fear). Thanks to the Rule, it not only happened, but it went great:

That’s another thing that’s unique about the Rule—I may have created it, but it’s not just my story to tell. Inside this book, you’ll meet people around the world from all walks of life who are using the Rule, in ways big and small, to take charge of their lives. Their diverse experiences will help you understand just how limitless the applications for the Rule and its benefits truly are.

You can use the Rule to become more productive. Before the 5 Second Rule, Laura used to make endless to-do lists and sat around making excuses and being a jerk to herself. Now, there’s no room in Laura’s life for excuses—only action. Laura has increased her cash flow by $4,000 a month, finished her bachelor’s degree, and hiked a few 4,000 footers. Next up, run a marathon.

You can use the Rule to step outside of your comfort zone and become more effective at networking. Ken used the 5 Second Rule the same day he learned it at the Project Management Institute National Conference to meet “movers and shakers,” Matthew used it to cold-call C-Level executives, and Alan used it to meet “a dozen folks I wouldn’t have otherwise” at a PGA Tour event.

You can also use the Rule to self-monitor and control your emotions. Jenna uses the Rule as a mom to practice “patience instead of snapping at” her kids. She’s also using it as a sales tool in her new direct selling business. The Rule helps her stop thinking about how “intimidating” it is to sell and gives her the courage to just start selling.

Executives inside some of the world’s most respected brands are using the Rule to help their managers change, drive sales, engage teams, and innovate. Take Crystal at USAA, whose entire sales team is using the 5 Second Rule and the result has been awesome—they’ve jumped to “#1 in our location.”

The #5SecondRule is so easy to learn and so important for confidence that we see managers, like Muz, teaching it to their teams all over the world.

You’ll also be inspired by the stories of people who are finding the courage to stop thinking and start putting their ideas into action. Mark, who after decades of thinking about starting a nonprofit ice hockey league for inner city kids, used the Rule to finally get the idea “out of my head” and “into action.” He’s now partnered with former Olympians and NHL alumni to create camps, clinics, and leagues.

The Rule is also a powerful tool in the battles of addiction and depression. Bill learned about the #5SecondRule on a Reddit thread and it was the “Right message. Right place. Right time.” He started using the Rule’s “countdown trick” to quit drinking and it’s working “amazing!!” He just celebrated his 40th birthday completely sober.

And it might even save your life A work colleague of mine recently reached out and shared a very poignant #5SecondRule story with me. After he and his wife split up, he fell into a deep depression. It got so bad that he “contemplated suicide.” At his lowest point, he used the Rule to “put it down and call for help.” Finding the courage to get out of his head by counting 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 and then calling for help saved his life.

In using the Rule for more than seven years, and hearing from people all over the world, I’ve come to realize that every single day we face moments that are difficult, uncertain, and scary. Your life requires courage. And that is exactly what the Rule will help you discover—the courage to become your greatest self.

How Can One Simple Tool Work in So Many Powerful Ways?

Great question. The #5SecondRule is only ever working on one thing—YOU. You have greatness inside of you. Even at your lowest point, greatness is there. The Rule will give you both the clarity to hear that greatness and the courage to act on it.

Using the Rule, I have discovered the courage to do things that I had spent years thinking about and making excuses for. Only through action have I unlocked the power inside of me to become the person that I’ve always wanted to be. And the confidence I exhibit on TV, online, and on stage is what I call “Real Confidence.” I’ve built Real Confidence by learning how to honor my instincts with action so that they come to life in the real world. I use the word “honor” on purpose. That’s what you are doing when you use the Rule. You are honoring yourself. You are championing your ideas. And each time you use it, you take one step closer to being the person you are truly meant to be. I have changed from the kind of person who just thinks about my ideas to having the confidence to share, act on, and pursue them. If you use the Rule consistently and you honor your instincts with action, the exact same transformation will happen to you.

Marlowe discovered just how easy it is to use the Rule to transform herself. Days after learning the Rule, she used it to stop thinking about signing up for classes and actually do it, which was something she “had been wanting to do but kept making excuses for, for a long time.”

As Marlowe put it, “it’s absolutely incredible and awe-inspiring how easy things become once you wrap your head around your own ability to PUSH yourself.”

She’s right. Once you start using the Rule to push yourself out of your head and into action, you’ll be “astonished” by how easy it is to make a five second decision that changes everything.

As I used the Rule more and more in my life, I realized that I was making small decisions all day long that held me back. In five seconds flat, I’d decide to stay quiet, to wait, and not to risk it. I’d have an instinct to act and within five seconds my mind would kill it with doubt, excuses, worry, or fear. I was the problem and in five seconds, I could push myself and become the solution. The secret to change had been right in front of my face the entire time—five seconds decisions.

Have you ever seen that famous commencement address David Foster Wallace gave at Kenyon College in 2005? If you haven’t seen or read this speech, you can find it on YouTube and it’s definitely worth the 20 minutes it takes to watch.

In it, Wallace steps up to the mic and starts off with this joke:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how’s the water?”

And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

You can hear the audience laugh in the video, and then Wallace explains the immediate point of the fish story is that “the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about.” For me, the hardest thing to see and talk about was the very nature of change itself. I had always wondered why it was so damn hard to make myself do the things that I knew I should do in order to expand my career, enrich my relationships, become healthier, and improve my life. Discovering the #5SecondRule gave me the million-dollar answer—change comes down to the courage you need every day to make five second decisions.

You Are One Decision Away from a Completely Different Life

Inside this book, I’m going to share everything that I’ve learned about change and the power of everyday courage. You’re going to love what you are about to learn. The coolest part will be when you start to use the Rule and see the results for yourself. You will not only wake up and realize just how much you’ve held yourself back. You will also awaken the power that’s been inside of you all along.

As you read the stories inside these pages, you might even realize that you’ve used the #5SecondRule before. If you look back on your life and reflect on some of the most important moments, I guarantee that you’ve made a life-changing decision purely on instinct. In five seconds flat, you made, what I call, a “heart-first decision.” You ignored your fears and let your courage and your confidence speak for you. Five seconds of courage makes all the difference.

Just ask Catherine. When she first learned about the #5SecondRule at her company’s executive leadership offsite, it made her realize she had used the Rule to make one of the most important decisions of her life—she just didn’t realize it at the time. In 1990, her sister Tracy was killed and Catherine traveled back home to help. That’s when “a 5 Second decision” changed not only her life “but so many others as well.” She decided to raise her sister’s “two little ones” who were “left behind” when Tracy died.

I love how she describes the decision as a “no brainer”—because when you act with courage, your brain is not involved. Your heart speaks first and you listen. The Rule will teach you how.

Will it take some effort on your part to discover the power within you? Yes, it will. But as Marlowe said just a few pages ago, “It is absolutely incredible and awe-inspiring how easy things become” when you do.

Doing the work to improve your life is simple, you can do it, and it’s work you want to do—because it’s the most important work that there is. It is the work of learning how to love and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start leaning into all the magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work, and relationships have to offer.

I’m so excited to hear about what happens when you start using the #5SecondRule. But I’m jumping ahead of the story. Before we can talk about all of the exciting ways that you can use the Rule, I need to take you back to 2009 and explain how this all started.

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