فصل 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The Only Son

The winter of 1917-18 was a dark and frightened time. The Germans smashed everything in front of them and the war seemed hopeless.

Adam was more puzzled than sad. He was released from the draft board as a result of his poor health. Almost daily he spoke of Aron. “I can understand why a young man might want to enlist,” he said. “If Aron had talked to me, I might have tried to persuade him against it but I wouldn’t have forbidden it. You know that, Lee.”

“I know it.”

“That’s what I can’t understand. Why did he run away? Why doesn’t he write? Has he written to Abra?”

“I’ll ask her.”

That evening Lee said, “Cal, have you seen Abra?”

“Sure, I see her. She walks away.”

“I don’t understand why she hasn’t been here. Something’s wrong there. Will you ask her to come and see me?”

“I’ll try, but I told you she walks away.”

Cal tried all the next day to find Abra alone, and it was only after school that he saw her ahead of him, walking home. “Lee wants to see you,” he said. “He asked me to tell you.”

She was pleased. “Does he? Tell him I’ll come.”

They walked along in silence until Cal couldn’t stand it anymore. “You know about Aron?”

“Yes.” She held out a book. “Look next to the first page.”

A penny postcard was inside. “Dear Abra,” it said, “I don’t feel clean. I’m not good enough for you. Don’t be sorry. I’m in the army. Don’t go near my father. Goodbye, Aron.”

Cal closed the book angrily. “Do you know why he went away?”

“I guess I could figure it out. Do you want to tell me?”

“Abra, I’ve hurt you more than you know, but I’ll tell you,” said Cal bitterly. “Our mother was a whore. She ran a house here in town. Thanksgiving night I took Aron down and showed her to him.”

Abra broke in excitedly, “What did he do?”

“He went mad - just crazy. He shouted at her. Outside he knocked me down and ran away. Our dear mother killed herself; my father - he’s - there’s something wrong with him. Now you know about me. Now you have some reason to walk away from me.”

“Cal,” she said, “I’ve known about your mother for a long, long time. And there’s something else I want to tell you. I don’t love Aron anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve tried to figure it out. When we were children we lived in a story that we made up, then when I grew up the story wasn’t enough. But Aron didn’t grow up. He wanted to believe that his mother was dead and that I was perfect, but I’m not. Tell Lee I’ll come. I feel free now. I think I love you, Cal.”

“I’m not good.”

“Because you’re not good.”

Adam often slept until late in the morning. Lee helped him get up. “I had a dream - very real,” Adam said. “I dreamed about my father.”

“A great old gentleman, from all I hear,” said Lee. “I read all the newspaper articles your brother’s lawyer sent.”

Adam looked calmly at Lee. “Did you know he was a thief?”

“You must have dreamed that too,” said Lee.

“He was a thief,” said Adam. “I didn’t think so once, but I do now. He stole from the Army.”

Lee changed the subject. “Do you know who Cal saw yesterday? Abra.”

Adam said, “Abra?” and then, “Oh, sure, Abra. She’s a nice girl.”

Lee wondered what Adam meant, saying his father was a thief. Maybe it was true - Adam, the most honest man it was possible to find, living all his life on stolen money. Lee laughed to himself - now this second will, and Aron, who tried to be so pure, living all his life on the profits of a whorehouse. Was this some kind of joke, or did one thing balance another?

On May 28, 1918, American soldiers carried out their first important assignment of the First World War. The First Division, General Bullard commanding, was ordered to capture the village of Cantigny, on high ground looking over the Avre River valley.

The attack was a complete success and the French government congratulated them.

Spring was late that year in the Salinas Valley. Cal and Abra went on a picnic in the Gabilan Mountains to gather wild flowers at the end of May.

When Cal returned, all of the lights were on in the Trask house. Adams door was open and the sound of voices came from his room.

“What’s going on?” asked Cal.

Lee looked at him and swung his head toward the table where the open telegram lay. “Your brother is dead,” he said. “Your father has had a stroke.”

Dr. Murphy came out carrying his bag.

“How is he?” Cal demanded.

“I’ll tell you all we know. You’re the head of the family now, Cal. Do you know what a stroke is? This one is a leakage of blood in the brain. Certain areas of the brain are affected. He can’t move his left side, and the right side only a little. In other words, your father is nearly helpless.”

“Can he talk?”

“A little - with difficulty. Don’t tire him.”

Cal struggled for words. “Is he going to die?”

“We don’t know. He might live for a week, a month, a year, even two years. He might die tonight.”

Cal walked into his father’s room and sat down beside the bed. Adam’s eyes were calm, aware but not interested. Cal said, “I’m sorry, Father. Can you understand me?” Adam’s eyes did not change or move. “I did it,” Cal cried. “I’m responsible for Aron’s death and your sickness. I took him to Kate’s. I showed him his mother. I don’t want to do bad things - but I do them.”

He put his head down on the side of the bed to escape the terrible eyes, and he could still see them. He knew they would be with him, a part of him, all of his life.

Lee came into the bedroom. “Cal!”

“What do you want?”

“Go to Abra.”

Cal and Abra walked slowly down the street together. Cal said, “Abra, I’ve killed my brother and my father has had a stroke because of me.”

She took his arm and held it tightly with both hands.

Cal said, “Didn’t you hear me?”

“I heard you.”

“Abra, my mother was a whore. I’ve got her blood. Don’t you understand? What shall I do?”

“We’re going back to your father’s house,” said Abra.

Lee and Cal and Abra went into the bedroom together.

“Adam, can you hear me?” asked Lee.

The blue eyes closed slowly, then opened. Lee said, “Thank you, Adam. I know how hard it is. I’m going to ask you to do a much harder thing. Here is your son Caleb - your only son. Look at him, Adam!” The pale eyes looked until they found Cal.

Lee’s voice continued. “I don’t know how long you will live, Adam. But your son will live. He will marry and his children will be all that remains of you. He acted in anger, Adam, because he thought you had rejected him. The result of that anger is that his brother and your son is dead. Your son is marked with guilt - almost more than he can stand. Adam, please forgive him. Don’t leave him alone with his guilt. Adam, can you hear me? Forgive him!”

A terrible brightness shone in Adam’s eyes and he closed them.

Lee said, “Help him! Give him his chance!”

Adam’s breath came quick with the effort and then slowly his right hand lifted - lifted an inch and then fell back.

Lee whispered, “Thank you, my friend.”

Adams eyes opened and he tried to speak. His whispered words seemed to hang in the air, “He has the choice”.

His eyes closed and he slept.