آقای لارنس

CHAPTER FOUR

Mr Lawrence

Soon, all our neighbors had heard the scandal about Mrs Graham. I did not see her for a week and I was worried. One evening, I decided to visit Wildfell Hall again.

Arthur was in the garden, playing happily with his little dog. I called him over to the gate.

‘Can you find your Mama for me?’ I said. ‘Please ask her to come here. I want to speak to her.’

The little boy ran off quickly. He returned a few minutes later with his mother. She was smiling and she looked more beautiful than ever.

‘Good evening, Mr Markham,’ she said. ‘Would you like to walk in the garden? Look at this plant that your sister gave me. It’s growing well. Here, take this flower for her.’

‘Can I keep the flower for myself?’ I asked.

‘No, but here’s another one for you,’ Mrs Graham replied. I took the flower then held her hand. For a moment, her eyes shone with happiness. Then she turned away.

‘I can guess what you want to say to me, Mr Markham,’ she said. ‘But what you want is impossible. You must think of me as a friend and nothing more.’

‘Then can I come to see you sometimes?’

‘Perhaps, but now you must go.’

As I walked happily down the hill, I saw Lawrence riding along the road to Wildfell Hall. I stepped in front of his pony and held its bridle.

‘Is the gossip about you and Mrs Graham true?’ I asked angrily.

‘Mrs Graham is my tenant. I need to see her on business,’ Lawrence replied. ‘Please leave me alone.’

I took my hand off the pony’s bridle and Lawrence rode on.

Three weeks passed and I saw Mrs Graham several times. She now called me Gilbert and I called her Helen.

Our friendship grew stronger, but we were not completely happy. I wanted to be with Helen forever, but I never spoke about this.

One evening, Rose saw me getting ready to go out.

‘Gilbert, you’re going to Wildfell Hall again, aren’t you?’ she said. ‘People know that you go there. It’s wrong.’

‘Helen Graham and I are friends, that is all,’ I replied.

‘Jane Wilson and Eliza Millward don’t think so,’ Rose said. ‘They gossip about both of you. Please stay at home tonight.’

‘Well, all right. It is getting late,’ I said and I sat down.

The next evening, the vicar came to visit my mother. When Mr Millward saw me, his expression became serious.

‘I’ve just come from Wildfell Hall,’ he said. ‘I had to tell Mrs Graham the truth. It was my duty.’

‘The truth? What truth? Don’t you mean lies, sir?’ I asked. ‘Your daughter, Eliza, and her friends have told lies about Mrs Graham.’

‘My daughter does not tell lies, Mr Markham,’ the vicar said. ‘I had to warn Mrs Graham about her behaviour. It has been wrong - very wrong. She’s a bad woman!’

‘And what did Mrs Graham say?’ my mother asked.

Mr Millward shook his head sadly. ‘Mrs Graham’s face became white with anger,’ he said. ‘But she didn’t answer. The stories about her are true. I’ll tell my daughters not to speak to her.’

Mr Millward turned and looked at me.

‘Young man, your behaviour is also wrong,’ he said. ‘You’re the friend of a bad woman. It’s my duty to warn you too!’

I did not say a word. I stood up and left the house. In a few moments, I was on my way to Wildfell Hall.

Helen was surprised to see me.

‘Gilbert, you shouldn’t be visiting me at night,’ she said. ‘My neighbors already believe that I’m a bad woman.’

‘I know,’ I said quickly. ‘I’ve heard their lies about you, Helen. That is why I am here. I want to protect you. I love you and I want to be with you - always!’

‘That is not possible!’ she cried.

‘Why not? I love you,’ I said. ‘You love me, don’t you? What is the problem? Tell me at once!’

‘I’ll tell you one day, but not now,’ Helen replied. ‘Please go now. I can’t love you, Gilbert. It’s not possible.’

‘Please give me a reason,’ I said.

‘Meet me tomorrow, at midday,’ she said. ‘I’ll tell you everything then. Go now.’

‘Helen, I must know’ I whispered. ‘Do you love me?’

‘I won’t answer that question,’ she replied.

‘Then you do love me!’ I cried.

I held Helen’s hand and kissed it. Her eyes filled with tears and she turned her head away.

I left the house, walked across the garden and went through the gate. But I did not want to go home. I stood by the stone wall and looked back at the house. At that moment, the front door opened and I heard a voice. Helen’s voice.

‘Come outside,’ she said. ‘I want to see the moon.’

Two people walked out into the garden. The first person was Helen Graham and the second was . Frederick Lawrence!

‘I must go away, Frederick,’ Helen said. ‘The people here won’t leave me alone.’

‘If you go, I must go with you,’ Lawrence replied. He put his arm around her and they walked away.

All the stories were true! Helen Graham and Lawrence were lovers. I had been a fool!

I did not go back to Wildfell Hall the next day. And I did not meet Helen. For the next two weeks, I worked hard on the farm. I tried to forget Helen Graham, but I thought about her all the time. Eliza and Jane continued to gossip about her. And I was rude and bad-tempered with everyone.

One morning, I was riding my horse along the road to the town. I was going to the market there. Suddenly I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw Frederick Lawrence riding along the road behind me. I did not reply.

‘Markham’ he said. ‘I warned you not to fall in love with Mrs Graham. And now she’s told you herself. She’s rejected you and told you to leave.’

I was holding my riding-whip in one hand. Without speaking, I lifted the whip and hit Lawrence on his head. He fell from his pony, to the ground. He lay on the road and did not move. Blood ran down his pale face. Had I killed him?

I got down from my horse and went over to Lawrence. He was still breathing. He opened his eyes and stared at me.

‘Let me help you,’ I said.

‘Leave me alone,’ said Lawrence.

‘Very well,’ I said. ‘Stay there. I don’t care.’

I got back onto my horse and rode off to the market. A few hours later, I returned to the same place on the road. Lawrence and his pony had gone.

Soon everyone had heard the news about Lawrence’s fall. He was badly injured and lay in his bed for several days. People said that his pony had thrown him onto the ground. No one had seen us together on the road. So no one knew that I had hit him and injured him. Lawrence said nothing.

The following day, I was in one of my fields which was in a valley. On this lower ground, the soil was good. Crops could grow in this part of the farm. Corn was growing in this field now and it was ready to be cut. The weather was warm and the sun was shining. But I was not happy. My heart was sad and empty.

Suddenly I heard a voice calling to me and I turned round. Young Arthur Graham was standing by the gate.

‘Mr Markham, Mama wants to speak to you,’ he said.

‘I’m busy, Arthur,’ I replied.

Then I heard his mother’s voice. ‘Gilbert, I must speak to you alone,’ Helen said. ‘Please come and talk to me, just for a moment.’ Then she turned to her son. ‘Arthur, go and pick some flowers,’ she said.

‘Gilbert,’ she said to me sadly. ‘Why didn’t you meet me?’

‘Because I learnt the truth about you,’ I replied.

‘You listened to people who hate me,’ she said. ‘You believed their gossip.’

I did not reply. I walked away, but soon I was sorry. I began to think about Helen again. Did she love me? Had she ever loved Lawrence?

I had to know the answers to these questions. I had to speak to her again.

I went to Wildfell Hall the next evening. While I waited for Helen in the sitting-room, I saw a book on the table. I picked it up and opened it. The name FREDERICK LAWRENCE was written inside the cover.

Helen came into the room. She looked calm, but her face was very pale.

‘Why have you come, Mr Markham?’ she asked coldly.

‘I think that you have something to tell me,’ I said.

‘No. I have nothing to tell you,’ Helen replied.

‘Then I’ll go,’ I said, walking towards the door.

‘Stop’ she said. ‘Gilbert, I shall not see you again. I have one question before you go. You were my friend. Why do you believe these stories against me?’

I held the book towards her and pointed to the name.

‘Do you know this gentleman?’ I asked.

‘Of course I do,’ she replied. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘People have been gossiping about you both,’ I replied. ‘I refused to believe the gossip. But then I saw you and Lawrence together. You were here - in the garden. I heard you talking. You spoke like lovers. The scandal about you both is true. I loved you Helen and you deceived me.’

For a few minutes, Helen did not reply. Then she said quietly, ‘I haven’t deceived you.’

She went to her desk and took a book from one of the drawers. She opened the book and removed the last few pages. Then she gave it to me.

‘This is my diary,’ Helen said. ‘It will tell you everything. It’ll tell you about my life after I left the home of my aunt and uncle - Mr and Mrs Maxwell. They took care of me and my brother when we were young. Bring the diary back to me when you have read it. Never, never show it to anyone else.’

I took the book silently.

Helen sat down and put her hands over her face. When I left her, she was crying.

I hurried home and took the diary to my room. Then I lit a candle, sat down, and began to read.