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Habit 7—Sharpen the Saw

It’s “Me Time”

Do you ever feel imbalanced, stressed-out, or empty inside? If so, you’re going to love Habit 7, because it was specially designed to help you deal with these problems. Why do we call it “Sharpen the Saw”? Well, imagine that you’re going for a walk in the forest when you come upon a guy furiously sawing down a tree.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“I’m sawing down a tree,” comes the curt reply.

“How long have you been at it?”

“Four hours so far, but I’m really making progress,” he says, sweat dripping from his chin.

“Your saw looks really dull,” you say. “Why don’t you take a break and sharpen it?” “I can’t, you idiot. I’m too busy sawing.”

We all know who the real idiot here is, now, don’t we? If the guy were to take a fifteen-minute break to sharpen the saw, he’d probably finish three times faster.

Have you ever been too busy driving to take time to get gas?

Have you ever been too busy living to take time to renew yourself?

Habit 7 is all about keeping your personal self sharp so that you can better deal with life. It means regularly renewing and strengthening the four key dimensions of your life—your body, your brain, your heart, and your soul.

BODY

The Physical Dimension

Exercise, eat healthy, sleep well, relax.

BRAIN

The Mental Dimension

Read, educate, write, learn new skills.

HEART

The Emotional Dimension Build relationships (RBA, PBA), give service, laugh.

SOUL

The Spiritual Dimension

Meditate, keep a journal, pray, take in quality media.

• BALANCE IS BETTER

The ancient Greeks’ famous saying “Nothing overmuch” reminds us of the importance of balance and of keeping in touch with all four dimensions of life. Some people spend countless hours building the perfect body but neglect their minds. Others have minds that can bench-press 400 pounds but let their bodies waste away or forget about having a social life. To perform at your peak, you need to strive for balance in all four areas.

Why is balance so important? It’s because how you do in one dimension of life will affect the other three. Think about it. If one of your car’s tires is out of balance, all four tires will wear unevenly, not just the one. It’s hard to be friendly (heart) when you’re exhausted (body). It also works the other way. When you’re feeling motivated and in tune with yourself (soul), it’s easier to focus on your studies (mind) and to be more friendly (heart).

During my school years, I remember studying many of the great artists, authors, and musicians, like Mozart, van Gogh, Beethoven, and Hemingway. So many of them seemed to be emotionally messed up. Why? Your guess is as good as mine, but I think it was because they were out of balance. It seems they focused so hard on just one thing, like their music or art, that they neglected the other dimensions of life and lost their bearings. As the saying goes, Balance and moderation in all things.

• TAKE TIME FOR A TIME-OUT

Just like a car, you too need regular tune-ups and oil changes. You need time out to rejuvenate the best thing you’ve got going for yourself—you! You need time to relax and unstring your bow, time to treat yourself to a little tender loving care. This is what sharpening the saw is all about.

Over the next several pages, we’ll take a look at each dimension, the body, mind, heart, and soul, and talk about specific ways to get that saw of yours razor sharp.

So read on!

Caring for Your Body

Images I hated junior high. I felt awkward. I was unsure about who I was and how I fit in. And my body started undergoing all sorts of weird changes. I remember my first day in gym class. I had bought my first jock ever, but I had no idea how to put it on. And all of us boys were so embarrassed at seeing each other naked for the first time that we just stood around in the showers and giggled.

During your teenage years, your voice will change, your hormones will run rampant, and curves and muscles will begin springing up all over. Welcome to your new body!

Actually, this ever-changing body of yours is really quite a marvelous machine. You can handle it with care or you can abuse it. You can control it or let it control you. In short, your body is a tool, and if you take good care of it, it will serve you well.

Here is a list of ten ways teens can keep their physical selves sharp: 1. Eat good food

1. Relax in the bathtub

2. Bike

3. Lift weights

4. Get enough sleep

5. Practice yoga

6. Play sports

7. Take walks

8. Stretch out

9. Do an aerobics workout

The four key ingredients to a healthy body are good sleeping habits, physical relaxation, good nutrition, and proper exercise. I’ll focus here on nutrition and exercise.

• YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

There’s much truth to the expression “You are what you eat.” I’m not an expert in nutrition, but I have found two rules of thumb to keep in mind.

First rule of thumb: Listen to your body. Pay careful attention to how different foods make you feel and from that develop your own handful of do’s and don’ts. Everyone responds differently to food. For example, whenever I eat a big meal right before bed I feel horrible in the morning. And whenever I eat too many french fries, nachos, or pizza I get a “grease rush.” (Have you ever had one of those?) These are my don’ts. On the other hand, I’ve learned that eating lots of fruits and vegetables and drinking tons of water makes me feel sharp. These are my do’s.

Second rule of thumb: Be moderate and avoid extremes. For many of us (me included), it’s easier to be extreme than to be moderate, and so we find ourselves jumping back and forth between eating a rabbit-food and a junk-food diet. But extreme eating habits can be unhealthy. A little junk food on occasion isn’t going to hurt you. (I mean, what would life be like without an occasional Slurpee?) Just don’t make it your everyday fare.

The USDA food pyramid is a balanced and moderate approach to nutrition that I highly recommend. It encourages eating more whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and low-fat dairy products and eating less fast food, junk food, and snacks, which are often loaded with fat, sugar, salt, and other gook.

Remember, food affects mood. So eat with care.

• USE IT OR LOSE IT

One of my favorite movies is Forrest Gump. It’s the story of a naive young man from Alabama with a good heart who keeps stumbling into success in spite of himself. At one point in the movie, Forrest is frustrated and confused about his life. So what does he do? He starts to run, and keeps on running. After running back and forth from one coast to the other two and a half times, Forrest feels better and is finally able to sort his life out.

We all feel depressed, confused, or apathetic at times. And it’s at times like these when perhaps the best thing we can do for ourselves is to do what Forrest did: exercise ourselves better. Besides being good for your heart and lungs, exercise has an amazing way of giving you a shot of energy, melting stress away, and clearing your mind.

There is no single best way to exercise. Many teenagers like to play competitive sports. Others prefer running, walking, biking, in-line skating, dancing, stretching, aerobics, or lifting weights. Still others just like to get outside and move around. For best results, you should exercise for twenty to thirty minutes a session at least three times a week.

Don’t let “pain” be the first thing that comes into your mind when you hear the word “exercise.” Instead find something you enjoy doing, so that it’s easy to maintain.

• IT’S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL, NOT HOW YOU LOOK

But be careful. In your quest for a better physique, make sure you don’t get too obsessed with your appearance. As you’ve probably noticed, our society is hung up on “looks.” To prove my point just walk into any grocery store and glance at the perfect people who adorn the covers of nearly every magazine. It kind of makes you feel self-conscious about all your physical imperfections, doesn’t it?

As a young boy, I was very self-conscious about my fat cheeks. My dad told me that when I was born my cheeks were so fat the doctors didn’t know which end to spank. I clearly remember a neighbor girl making fun of my cheeks one time. My brother David heroically tried to defend me by saying they were made out of muscle. It back-fired and “Muscle Cheeks” became my least favorite nickname of all.

In eighth grade my dad sent me on a long survival trek (a nice way of saying we hiked forever and starved) to try to toughen me up. The unexpected by-product was that I lost my cheeks. But as my teenage years unfolded, I became self-conscious about many other things, such as not having a perfect smile like some of my friends did or those zits that kept resurfacing like a bad habit that won’t go away.

Before you start comparing yourself to the babes and hunks on the covers of Cosmopolitan and Muscle and Fitness and begin hating everything about your body and looks, please remember that there are thousands of healthy and happy teens who don’t have high cheekbones, rock-hard abs, or buns of steel. There are many successful singers, talk show hosts, dancers, athletes, actors, and actresses who have all kinds of physical imperfections. You don’t have to pop steroids or get your chest enlarged to be happy. If you don’t have the “look” or body type our society has stamped “ideal,” so what? What’s popular today will probably change tomorrow anyhow.

The important thing is feeling good physically—and not so much your appearance. Talk show host Oprah Winfrey said it best: “You have to change your perception. It’s not about weight—it’s caring for yourself on a daily basis.” Real Life or Art?

Besides, if you didn’t already know it, what you see on the covers of magazines isn’t real. They’re “images.” Many years ago, actress and beauty queen Michelle Pfeiffer was featured on the front of Esquire magazine with the caption, “What Michelle Pfeiffer needs … is absolutely nothing.” She actually needed more help than meets the eye, as author Allen Litchfield revealed in Sharing the Light in the Wilderness: But another magazine, Harper’s, offered proof in its edition the following month that even the “beautiful people” need a little help. Harper’s had obtained the photo retouchers’ bill for Pfeiffer’s picture on the Esquire cover. The retouchers charged $1,525 to render the following services: “Clean up the complexion, soften smile line, trim chin, soften line under earlobe, add hair, add forehead to create better line, and soften neck muscles.” The editor of Harper’s printed the story because we are, he said, “constantly faced with perfection in magazines; this is to remind the reader … there’s a difference between real life and art.” This is why you shouldn’t be comparing your yearbook or driver’s license photographs with the magazine cover faces. The photographer who is shooting your picture is getting paid minimum wage, is bored, is in a hurry, and may even hate you. Little wonder your picture comes out looking awful.

Remember, our fetish with chiseled bodies hasn’t always been the trend. Wouldn’t it be nice to have lived in eighteenth-century Europe, when being overweight was the “in” thing, or during the Dark Ages, when everyone wore baggy robes and no one really knew what your body looked like? Boy, those were the days!

Of course, we should work hard to look our best and be presentable, but if we aren’t careful, becoming obsessed with “looks” can lead us to severe eating disorders such as compulsive eating, bulimia, or anorexia or to addictions to performance-enhancing drugs such as steroids. Treating your body like a prisoner of war in order to be accepted by someone else is never worth it.

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, don’t feel alone. It’s a very common problem among teens. Admit you have a problem and get help.