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• I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT

Just as there are ways to care for your body, there are also ways to destroy it. And using addictive substances such as alcohol, drugs, and tobacco is a great way to do it. Alcohol, for example, is often associated with the three leading causes of death among teens: car accidents, suicide, and homicide. And then there’s smoking, which has been proven to cloud your eyes, cause your skin to prematurely age, yellow your teeth, cause bad breath, triple your cavities, cause receding gums, discolor the skin on your fingertips, create tiredness, and cause cancer. (It’s a wonder anyone dares smoke.) Moreover, it isn’t popular. I ran across an ad by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health that drove this point home: Okay, there’s (insert name of person you want to get with here) standing alone. The perfect opportunity. You check your clothes, your hair, light a cigarette, check your hair again and slowly walk towards them. You smile as they begin to speak, “Could you do me a favor?” You lean a little closer, hanging on their words, “Could you go smoke somewhere else?” Smoking isn’t as attractive as you think. In a study, 8 out of 10 guys and 7 out of 10 girls said they wouldn’t date someone who smokes. So if you smoke, you better get used to kissing that cigarette.

Just remember, tobacco companies spend $500,000 every hour of every day promoting and advertising cigarettes. They want your money. A pack of cigarettes a day adds up to $1,000 a year. Just think about how many CDs you could buy for $1,000. Don’t let them sucker you!

Now, of course, no one plans on getting addicted. It all starts so innocently. Yet too often playing with “gateway drugs” like alcohol and tobacco leads to marijuana and then on to other deadly drugs like cocaine, LSD, PCP, opiates, and heroin. Many begin drinking, smoking, or doing drugs in an attempt to display their freedom, only to find that they eventually develop an addiction that destroys their freedom. Believe me, there are better ways to assert your individuality.

Perhaps the worst thing about picking up an addiction is this: You’re no longer in control—your addiction is. When it says jump, you jump. You react. Say good-bye to the whole idea of being proactive. I always feel sorry for people at work who have to go outside to smoke because it’s not allowed in the building. It’s sad to see them standing outside in the heat of summer or the freeze of winter, puffing away, unable to control their urge.

We always think that addiction is something that happens to someone else and that we could quit anytime. Right? In reality, it’s hard. As an example, only 25 percent of teen tobacco users who try to quit are successful. I like what Mark Twain said about how easy it was for him to quit smoking: “I’ve done it a hundred times.” Here’s a story of the struggle one teenage guy went through to overcome his drug addiction: The first time I used any kind of drug or alcohol was when I was fourteen. I didn’t even know what drugs were. I really didn’t care. Everyone just told me how bad they were. My friend said, “Here, take this. It’s pretty cool.” So I took it. When I started, I wanted to be cool. After that, it wasn’t peer pressure anymore. It was just me.

I started doing drugs and drinking more and more and my schoolwork started slipping. My relationships started to decrease. I was losing touch with my family, and I hated that. My attitude toward things turned around, you know—just a lot of negativity. I also started to see my girlfriend less.

Right after I started drinking and drugging, I noticed some physical problems, too. I felt real tired all the time. I also lost a lot of weight, about thirty pounds in two months.

The other thing was that I would go home and run out of toothpaste or something like that, and I’d cry. I was overreacting big time. My temper was really short.

About a month after my seventeenth birthday, I got caught with drugs in school. They suspended me for a week, and I knew that was the time I needed to get myself back together. So I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. It’s like when you smoke cigarettes. You can put one down and say you’re going to quit, you’re going to quit, but it is real hard to stop.

So I stopped hanging around my old friends and started going to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and I got a sponsor. AA is a lifelong thing. You take one drink and it messes up everything you had built up to that point. A lot of my friends who came to AA have relapsed. But my sponsor really helped me out. Without this program, I know I wouldn’t have stopped.

Since I’ve been in this program, it’s been the greatest life. I don’t drink. I don’t drug. My schoolwork is going back up. My family is closer than ever now. Before, I worked at almost every fast-food place there is in town because I’d quit within two weeks at each one. Now, I’ve had just one job for about two months. I came back to school and I started to care. I was nice to people even when they weren’t nice to me. I’ve totally changed my life around. I’m starting to think about college and doing all these things I would never think of before. It’s real confusing to me why anyone would spend their high school years drinking. It’s a scary life.

• THE REFUSAL SKILL™

Staying away from drugs of all kinds is a lot easier said than done. Here are The Refusal Skill™* steps that you might want to consider the next time you feel pressured to drink, smoke, or do drugs, and don’t really want to.

1. Ask questions. Ask tough questions that really make you think about what you’re doing.

“Why would I want to smoke?”

“What will happen to me if I get stoned tonight?”

1. Name the trouble. Try to put a face on what you’re doing.

“Smoking pot is illegal.”

“Smoking will ruin my breath.”

1. State the consequences. Think through the consequences of your actions.

“I could get arrested if I’m caught with drugs.”

“If I get wasted tonight, someone might take advantage of me.”

1. Suggest an alternative. Have your own list of fun alternatives ready to go whenever you’re being lured in.

“Hey, why don’t we go see a movie?”

“I’d rather play basketball.”

1. Take off. If you get caught in a situation that just doesn’t look good, don’t worry about what everyone might think of you, just get away … fast.

“Sorry, everyone. But I’m out of here.”

If you’re creative enough, you’ll be able to develop your own approach to avoiding the entire scene, as Jim did: My friends and I just didn’t want all that trouble that came from drinking and doing drugs, so we formed a group. We were about ten people who were committed to helping our friends stay out of trouble. We hung out a lot together, and weekly would go to pasta dinners and plan how we could support each other. The support mostly came in the form of talking to others when we saw them being tempted or floundering, and assuring them that they really didn’t need to do those things to be cool, and then inviting them to come join us in our fun instead. It worked and really was very powerful.

Believe me, you’re not missing out on anything if you stay away from this stuff. “Life itself,” said TV chef Julia Child, “is the proper binge.” You don’t need to even experiment. The short-term bang is never worth the long-term devastation that often follows. If you don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs, why even start? If you do, why not get help and quit? There are much better and more natural ways to get high. Why not give them a try? (See Info Central in the back of the book for more information.) Caring for Your Brain

I once heard a folklore story about a young man who came to Socrates, the great wise man, and said, “I want to know everything you know.” “If this is your desire,” said Socrates, “then follow me to the river.” Full of curiosity, the young man followed Socrates to the nearby river. As they sat on the bank, Socrates said, “Take a close look at the river and tell me what you see.” “I don’t see anything,” said the man.

“Look closer,” replied Socrates.

As the man peered over the bank and leaned closer to the water, Socrates grabbed the man’s head and shoved it under the water. The man’s arms flailed wildly as he attempted to escape, but Socrates’ strong grip kept him submerged. About the time the man was about to drown, Socrates pulled him from the river and laid him on the bank.

Coughing, the man gasped, “Are you crazy, old man? What are you trying to do, kill me?” “When I was holding you under the river, what did you want more than anything else?” asked Socrates.

“I wanted to breathe. I wanted air!” he replied.

“Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking wisdom comes so easily, my young friend,” said Socrates. “When you want to learn as badly as you wanted air just now, then come to me again.” The point here is clear. Nothing in life comes easy. You have to pay the price! Everyone has to pay the price. Write that down. Memorize it. Underline it. I don’t care what people say, there are no free lunches! What a naive young man to think that he could gain a lifetime of learning without paying the price. But are we any less naive when we think that we can secure a good job and a promising future if we haven’t paid the price to develop a strong mind?

In fact, getting a good education may just be the most important price you can pay—because, perhaps more than anything else, what you do with that mass of gray material between your ears will determine your future. In fact, unless you want to be flipping burgers and living with your parents when you’re thirty years old, you’d better start paying the price now.

The mental dimension of Habit 7, Sharpen the Saw, means developing brain power through your schooling, extracurricular activities, hobbies, jobs, and other mind-enlarging experiences.

The Key to Unlocking Your Future

I once asked a group of teenagers in a survey “What are your fears?” I was surprised by how many spoke about the stress of doing well in school, going to college, and getting a good job in the future. Said one, “What can we do to be certain that we can get a job and support ourselves?” The answer is really rather simple. You could try to win the lottery. Your chances of doing that are about 1 in 1,000,000. Or you could develop an educated mind. By far, this offers your best chance of securing a good job and making a life for yourself.

What’s an educated mind? It’s much more than a diploma on a wall, even though that’s an important part of it. A better definition is: An educated mind is like a well-conditioned ballerina. A ballerina has perfect control over her muscles. Her body will bend, twist, jump, and turn perfectly, according to her command. Similarly, an educated mind can focus, synthesize, write, speak, create, analyze, explore, imagine, and so much more. To do that, however, it must be trained. It won’t just happen.

I’d suggest you get as much education as you can. Any further education beyond high school—a college degree, vocational or technical training, an apprenticeship, or training in any of the armed forces—will be well worth your time and money. See it as an investment in your future. Statistics have shown that a college graduate earns about twice as much as a high school graduate. And the gap seems to be widening. Don’t let a lack of money be the reason you don’t get more education. “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance,” said Derek Bok, a former president of Harvard University. Even if you have to sacrifice and work your tail off to pay for your education, it’s well worth it. You’d also be amazed at the number of scholarships, grants, loans, and student-aid options that are available if you search them out. In fact, millions of dollars of grant and scholarship money goes unclaimed each year because no one bothered to apply for it. (Refer to the back of the book for more information on grants and scholarships.) • SHARPEN YOUR MIND

There are numerous ways to expand your mind. However, the best approach may simply be to read. As the saying goes, reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Reading is foundational to everything else and doesn’t cost that much, unlike other methods, such as traveling. The following are twenty possible ways to sharpen your mind. I’m sure you can come up with another fifty if you try.

• Read a newspaper every day

• Subscribe to National Geographic

• Travel

• Plant a garden

• Observe wildlife

• Attend a lecture on an interesting topic

• Watch the Discovery Channel

• Visit a library

• Listen to the news

• Research your ancestors

• Write a story, poem, or song

• Play challenging board games

• Debate

• Play a game of chess

• Visit a museum

• Comment in class

• Attend a ballet, opera, or play

• Learn to play a musical instrument

• Have stimulating conversations with friends

• Solve crossword puzzles