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• POST-HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATIONAL OPTIONS

Don’t get too worried about your major or area of focus in school. If you can simply learn to think well, you will have plenty of career and education options to choose from. Admissions offices and companies that are hiring don’t care so much about what you majored in. They want to see evidence that you have a sound mind. They will be looking at several different areas: 1. Desire—How badly do you want to get into this particular school or program? How much do you want this job?

1. Standardized test scores—How well did you score on your ACT, SAT, GRE, LSAT, etc.?

2. Extracurricular—What other activities (sports, outside work, clubs, student government, church, community, etc.) were you involved in?

3. Letters of recommendation—What do other people think of you?

4. Grade point average—How well did you do in school?

5. Communication skills—How well can you communicate in writing (based on your application essays) and verbally (based on an interview)?

Most important, they just want to see evidence that you will succeed at the next level. If your GPA and standardized test scores are lower than you would like, don’t feel like you have to settle for second best. You can still get admitted to great programs or get an A1 job if you’re strong in other areas.

Also, don’t be scared off by rumors about how hard it is to get into college or other schools. It’s usually not as hard as you might think if you’re willing to put some effort into your application.

• MENTAL BARRIERS

As you attempt to build a brain, you will need to overcome a few barriers. Here are three to consider: Screentime. Screentime is any time spent in front of a screen, like a TV, computer, video game, or movie screen. Some time can be healthy, but too much time chatting on the Web, playing video games, or watching TV can numb your mind. Did you know that the average teen watches over twenty hours of TV a week? That equates to forty-three days each year and a total of eight years over a lifetime. Good thing you’re not average! Just think what you could do with those forty-three days annually if you were to spend them doing something productive like studying French, ballroom dancing, or computer programming.

Set guidelines for yourself regarding screentime, and don’t let it get out of hand. Or try losing your remote control. That works too.

The Nerd Syndrome. Interestingly, some teens don’t want to do too well in school because others might think they’re too studious (nerds), and studious isn’t cool. I’ve also heard girls tell me that they don’t want to come across as “brains” because it intimidates guys. What will we think of next, for crying out loud?! If having a mind intimidates someone, that probably tells you something about their own lack of neurons. Take pride in your mental abilities and the fact that you value education. I, for one, know a lot of wealthy and successful people who were once considered nerds.

Pressure. Sometimes we’re scared of doing well in school because of the high expectations it creates. If we bring home a good report card and get praised for it, we’ve suddenly established the expectation that we’ll do it again and again. And the pressure builds. If we do poorly, there’s no expectation and no pressure.

Just remember this: The stress that results from success is much more tolerable than the regret that results from not trying your best. Don’t sweat the pressure. You can deal with it.

• YOU GOTTA WANNA

In the end, the key to honing your mind will be your desire to learn. You’ve gotta really want it. You’ve gotta get turned on by learning. You’ve gotta pay the price. The following story is an example of someone who had an irresistible drive for learning and who paid a huge price for the simple joy of reading. Reading to this person was “air.” The kitchen door opened—and I was caught, cold. It was too late to hide the evidence; the proof was in the open, plain as could be, right there in my lap. My father, drunk, his face flushed, reeled before me, glowering, menacing. My legs started to tremble. I was nine years old. I knew I would be beaten. There could be no escape; my father had found me reading … An alcoholic like his parents before him, my father had hit me before, many times and harder, and in the years that followed he would hit me again, many times and harder, until finally I quit high school at sixteen and left home. His persistent rage about my reading when I was a boy, though, frustrated me more than all other abuse; it made me feel squeezed in the jaws of a terrible vise, because I would not, I could not, stop reading. I was drawn to books by curiosity and driven by need—an irresistible need to pretend I was elsewhere … Thus I defied my father—and, as I’ve recalled here, sometimes I paid a price for that defiance. It was worth it.

This account was written by Walter Anderson in his book Read with Me. Walter is now a successful editor, serves on the boards of many literacy organizations, and is the author of four books. Walter goes on to write: When I was a child, I lived in a violent household, in a violent neighborhood. But there was a place that I could go—a library—and all the librarians did was encourage me to read. I could open a book, and I could be anywhere. I could do anything. I could imagine myself out of a slum. I read myself out of poverty long before I worked myself out of poverty.

In the back of the book, I have compiled a list of fifty great books for teens. Take a look.

If you haven’t paid the price to educate yourself so far, it’s never too late to start. If you can learn to think well, the future will be an open door of opportunity. It’s all about brain waves. Get some.

Caring for Your Heart

Late one afternoon there came a knock at the door.

“Who could that be?”

I opened the door and there stood my nineteen-year-old younger sister, heaving and sobbing.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, leading her in, although I knew exactly what was wrong. This was the third sob-episode that month.

“He is so rude,” she sniveled, wiping her red, swollen eyes. “I can’t believe he did that to me. It was so mean.” “What did he do this time?” I asked. I had heard some pretty good ones and couldn’t wait to hear if this one was any better.

“Well … you know, he asked me to come over to his house to study,” she whimpered. “And while we were studying some other girls came to visit him. And he acted like he didn’t even know me.” “I wouldn’t worry about it,” I said wisely. “I used to do that kind of thing all the time.” “But I’ve been dating him for two years,” she blubbered. “And when they asked him who I was, he told them that I was his sister.” Ouch!

She was devastated. But I knew that in just a matter of hours or days she’d be thinking he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sure enough, a few days later she was crazy about him all over again.

Do you ever feel that, like my sister, you’re riding an emotional roller coaster, up one day and down the next? Do you ever feel that you’re the moodiest person in the world and that you can’t control your emotions? If you do, then welcome to the club, because those feelings are pretty normal for teens. You see, your heart is a very temperamental thing. And it needs constant nourishment and care, just like your body.

The best way to sharpen the saw and nourish your heart is to focus on building relationships, or in other words, to make regular deposits into your relationship bank accounts and into your own personal bank account. Let’s review what those deposits are.

RBA (Relationship Bank Account) Deposits

• Keep promises

• Do small acts of kindness

• Be loyal

• Listen

• Say you’re sorry

• Set clear expectations

PBA (Personal Bank Account) Deposits

• Keep promises to yourself

• Do small acts of kindness

• Be gentle with yourself

• Be honest

• Renew yourself

• Tap into your talents

As you might have noticed, PBA and RBA deposits are very similar. That’s because deposits you make into other people’s accounts usually end up in your own as well.

As you set out each day, look for opportunities to make deposits and build lasting friendships. Listen deeply to a friend, parent, brother, or sister without expecting anything in return. Give out ten compliments today. Stick up for someone. Come home when you told your parents you’d be home.

I like how Mother Teresa put it: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” If you approach life this way, always looking for ways to build instead of tear down, you’ll be amazed at how much happiness you can give to others and find for yourself.

As you think about caring for your heart, here are a few other points to consider.

• SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS

Said one young girl, “I don’t care what kind of relationship you are in or how devout you are … sex is always in the air. No matter if you are sitting in the car alone with that person or at home watching TV—the question hangs in the air.” Sex is about a whole lot more than your body. It’s also about your heart. In fact, what you do about sex may affect your self-image and your relationships with others more than any other decision you make. Before you decide to have sex or to continue having it, search your heart and think about it … carefully. The following excerpt from a pamphlet, published by Journeyworks Publishing, should help.

Think you’re ready to go all the way? Are you sure? Sexually transmitted infections, unplanned pregnancy, and emotional doubts are all good reasons to wait! Before you go too far, take a look at this list. Or make up your own ways to finish the sentence: You’re not ready to have sex if …

1. You think sex equals love.

2. You feel pressured.

3. You’re afraid to say no.

4. It’s just easier to give in.

5. You think everyone else is doing it. (They’re not!)

6. Your instincts tell you not to.

7. You don’t know the facts about pregnancy.

8. You don’t understand how birth control works.

9. You don’t think a woman can get pregnant the first time. (She can.) 10. It goes against your moral beliefs.

10. It goes against your religious beliefs.

11. You’ll regret it in the morning.

12. You feel embarrassed or ashamed.

13. You’re doing it to prove something.

14. You can’t support a child.

15. You can’t support yourself.

16. Your idea of commitment is a 3-day video rental.

17. You believe sex before marriage is wrong.

18. You don’t know how to protect yourself from HIV—the virus that causes AIDS.

19. You don’t know the signs and symptoms of sexually transmitted infections (STIs, also called STDs).

20. You think it will make your partner love you.

21. You think it will make you love your partner.

22. You think it will keep you together.

23. You hope it will change your life.

24. You don’t want it to change your life.

25. You’re not ready for the relationship to change.

26. You’re drunk.

27. You wish you were drunk.

28. Your partner is drunk.

29. You expect it to be perfect.

30. You’ll just die if it’s not perfect.

31. You can’t laugh together about awkward elbows and clumsy clothes.

32. You’re not ready to take off your clothes.

33. You think HIV and AIDS only happen to other people.

34. You think you can tell who has HIV by looking at them.

35. You don’t think teens get HIV. (They do.)

36. You don’t know that abstinence is the only 100% protection against sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.

37. You haven’t talked about tomorrow.

38. You can’t face the thought of tomorrow.

39. You’d be horrified if your parents found out.

40. You’re doing it just so your parents will find out.

41. You’re too scared to think clearly.

42. You think it will make you more popular.

43. You think you “owe it” to your partner.

44. You think it’s not OK to be a virgin.

45. You’re only thinking about yourself.

46. You’re not thinking about yourself.

47. You can’t wait to tell everyone about it.

48. You hope no one will hear about it.

49. You really wish the whole thing had never come up.

It’s OK to Wait.