فصل 5

Principle-Centered— The Real Thing

In case you were starting to wonder, there is a center that actually works. What is it? (Drumroll, please.) It’s being principle-centered. We are all familiar with the effects of gravity. Throw a ball up and it comes down. It’s a natural law or principle. Just as there are principles that rule the physical world, there are principles that rule the human world. Principles aren’t religious. They aren’t American or Chinese. They aren’t mine or yours. They aren’t up for discussion. They apply equally to everyone, rich or poor, king or peasant, male or female. They can’t be bought or sold. If you live by them, you will excel. If you break them, you will fail (hey, that sorta’ rhymes). It’s that simple.

Here are a few examples: Honesty is a principle. Service is a principle. Love is a principle. Hard work is a principle. Respect, gratitude, moderation, fairness, integrity, loyalty, and responsibility are principles. There are dozens and dozens more. They are not hard to identify. Just as a compass always points to true north, your heart will recognize true principles.

For example, think about the principle of hard work. If you haven’t paid the price, you may be able to get by for a while, but eventually it’ll catch up to you.

I remember one time being invited to play in a golf tournament with my college football coach. He was a great golfer. Everyone, including my coach, expected that I’d be a fine golfer as well. After all, I was a college athlete and all college athletes should be great golfers. Right? Wrong. You see, I stunk at golf. I’d only played a few times in my life, and I didn’t even know how to hold a club properly.

I was nervous about everyone finding out how bad I was at golf. Especially my coach. So I was hoping that I could fool him and everyone else into thinking I was good. On the very first hole there was a small crowd gathered around. I was first up to tee off. Why me? As I stepped up to hit the ball, I prayed for a miracle.

Swooooosssssshhhhh. It worked! A miracle! I couldn’t believe it! I had hit a long shot, straight down the middle of the fairway.

I turned around and smiled to the crowd and acted as if I always hit like that. “Thank you. Thank you very much.” I had them all fooled. But I was only fooling myself because there were 17½ more holes to go. In fact, it took only about five more shots for everyone around me, including my coach, to realize that I was a complete golf nerd. It wasn’t long until the coach was trying to show me how to swing the club. I’d been exposed. Ouch!

You can’t fake playing golf, tuning a guitar, or speaking Arabic if you haven’t paid the price to get good. There’s no shortcut. Hard work is a principle. As the NBA great Larry Bird put it, “If you don’t do your homework, you won’t make your free throws.” Principles Never Fail

It takes faith to live by principles, especially when you see people close to you get ahead in life by lying, cheating, indulging, manipulating, and serving only themselves. What you don’t see, however, is that breaking principles always catches up to them in the end.

Take the principle of honesty. If you’re a big liar, you may be able to get by for a while, even for a few years. But you’d be hard-pressed to find a liar who achieved success over the long haul. As Cecil B. DeMille observed about his classic movie The Ten Commandments, “It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.” Unlike all the other centers we’ve looked at, principles will never fail you. They will never talk behind your back. They don’t get up and move. They don’t suffer career-ending injuries. They don’t play favorites based on skin color, gender, wealth, or body features. A principle-centered life is simply the most stable, immovable, unshakable foundation you can build upon, and we all need one of those.

To grasp why principles always work, just imagine living a life based on their opposites—a life of dishonesty, loafing, indulgence, ingratitude, selfishness, and hate. I can’t imagine any good thing coming out of that. Can you?

Ironically, putting principles first is the key to doing better in all the other centers. If you live the principles of service, respect, and love, for instance, you’re likely to pick up more friends and be a more stable boyfriend or girlfriend. Putting principles first is also the key to becoming a person of character.

Decide today to make principles your life-center, or paradigm. In whatever situation you find yourself, ask, “What is the principle in play here?” For every problem, search for the principle that will solve it.

If you’re feeling worn out and beaten up by life, perhaps you should try the principle of balance.

If you find no one trusts you, the principle of honesty might just be the cure you need.

In the following story by Walter MacPeek, loyalty was the principle in play: One of two brothers fighting in the same company in France fell by a German bullet. The one who escaped asked permission of his officer to go and bring his brother in.

“He is probably dead,” said the officer, “and there is no use in your risking your life to bring in his body.” But after further pleading the officer consented. Just as the soldier reached the lines with his brother on his shoulders, the wounded man died.

“There, you see,” said the officer, “you risked your life for nothing.” “No,” replied Tom. “I did what he expected of me, and I have my reward. When I crept up to him and took him in my arms, he said, ‘Tom, I knew you would come—I just felt you would come.’” In the upcoming chapters, you’ll discover that each of the 7 Habits is based upon a basic principle or two. And that’s where they get their power from.

The long and short of it is principles rule.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Up next, we’ll talk about how to get rich, in a way you

probably never thought of. So carry on!

A word About Baby Steps

One of my family’s favorite movies is What About Bob? starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. It is the story of a dysfunctional, phobia-laden, immature, pea-brained leech named Bob who never, ever goes away. He attaches himself to Dr. Marvin, a renowned psychiatrist, who wants nothing more than to get rid of Bob and finally gives him a book he wrote called Baby Steps. He tells Bob that the best way to solve his problems is not to bite off too much at once but to just take “baby steps” to reach his goals. Bob is delighted! He no longer has to worry about how to get all the way home from Dr. Marvin’s office, a big task for Bob. Instead, Bob only has to baby step his way out of the office, and then baby step his way onto the elevator, and so on.

So I’ll give you some baby steps at the end of each chapter, starting with this one—small, easy steps that you can do immediately to help you apply what you just read. Though small, these steps can become powerful tools in helping you achieve your larger goals. So, come along with Bob (he really becomes very likable after you accept the fact that you can’t shake him) and take some baby steps.

BABY STEPS

1 The next time you look in the mirror say something positive about yourself.

2 Show appreciation for someone’s point of view today. Say something like “Hey, that is a cool idea.” 3 Think of a limiting paradigm you might have of yourself, such as “I’m not outgoing.” Now, do something today that totally contradicts that paradigm.

4 Think of a loved one or close friend who has been acting out of character lately. Consider what might be causing them to act that way.

5 When you have nothing to do, what is it that occupies your thoughts? Remember, whatever is most important to you will become your paradigm or life-center.

What occupies my time and energy?

6 The Golden Rule rules! Begin today to treat others as you would want them to treat you. Don’t be impatient, complain about leftovers, or bad-mouth someone, unless you want the same treatment.

7 Sometime soon, find a quiet place where you can be alone. Think about what matters most to you.

8 Listen carefully to the lyrics of the music you listen to most frequently. Evaluate if they are in harmony with the principles you believe in.

9 When you do your chores at home or work tonight, try out the principle of hard work. Go the extra mile and do more than is expected.

10 The next time you’re in a tough situation and don’t know what to do, ask yourself, “What principle should I apply (i.e., honesty, love, loyalty, hard work, patience)?” Now, follow the principle and don’t look back.