پسرم به دنیا میاد

CHAPTER FIVE

My son is born

Next morning, Darnley came to see me. He was afraid. ‘What’s the matter, husband’ I said. ‘Why are you crying?’

‘Oh Mary, Mary’ he said. ‘I’m sorry! I was wrong! I helped those men to kill Riccio, and now the Earl of Moray is back here with them! He hates me! I am afraid they’re going to kill me, and you too. Think of our child, Mary, here inside you!’

He took me in his arms again. I was very angry. I am sorry, James, that this man was your father. He was a stupid boy, not a man. He was tall and strong and beautiful but he could never think like a man or a king.

I said, ‘You know these men, Henry. What do they want?’

‘They - they want our child, Mary. They don’t want us. They’re going to put you in prison. They don’t want you to be Queen - they want your child to be King or Queen. I - I don’t know what they want to do with me.’

‘Perhaps they want you to be King, too, without me, ‘I said quietly. ‘Then you can do what they say, like a little boy.’

‘Perhaps, Mary. They said that, yesterday. But now that Moray’s here - I don’t know. I’m afraid. Please help me!’ He began to cry again. ‘What can we do?’

‘We can run away,’ I said. ‘We can leave Edinburgh quickly and quietly, before Ruthven and his men stop us. Be quiet for a minute. I want to think.’

I walked up and down for two or three minutes, then I said: ‘Henry, go back to these men. Tell them -‘

‘No! Mary, please! I can’t! I’m afraid of them!’

‘Listen to me, Henry! And try to be a man. Go and tell them I’m ill, because of the child. Say I’m not angry with them. Tell them anything - lie to them. Then, tonight, bring some men and horses here, behind the castle…’

He went, and did it. All day I waited in my rooms, and listened. Then, at one o’clock in the morning, Darnley and I went quietly down the stairs behind the castle. Some of my friends were there, with horses for us. Quickly, we rode away into the night.

That was a very bad night. It was dark and cold. I was ill, and Darnley was afraid. ‘Come on’ he said. ‘Ride faster, woman! You’re too slow!’

But I was pregnant, and it was cold and dark. We rode for five hours in the rain. ‘I can’t, Henry’ I said. ‘I’m ill. Think of the baby! I don’t want it to die!’

‘Why not’ he said.’ We can always make another one!’

I’m sorry, but it is true. Your father said things like that, James. Then he rode away in front of me, into the dark. I rode slowly behind, with my good woman, Bess Curle.

In the morning we arrived at Dunbar Castle. Darnley slept, and I wrote letters to my friends. Next day Lord Bothwell came to help me. I liked him - he was a good, strong man. Soon I had an army of 8,000 men. Bothwell and I rode back to Edinburgh with the army. Lord Ruthven died, and some of his friends ran away. But the Earl of Moray stayed.

All that summer I ruled the country, and waited for the baby. My husband stayed outside my rooms. I did not want to see him. No one did. Perhaps he drank with his friends. I don’t know.

And then, on 19th June, in a small room in Edinburgh Castle, my baby was born. It took a long time, but at last you were in my arms, James, my son.

I asked your father to come in. ‘My Lord Henry, ‘I said.’ This is our baby! Look at him, my Lord. Take him in your arms. He is your son - isn’t he beautiful?’

But your father did not love me, James. Very often, after you were born, he slept with other women. I know that because he talked to everyone about it. I think he wanted people to know. And I am sorry, but I do not think he loved you, James. When I took you to church and gave you your name, he did not come. He wasn’t interested.

But because of him, David Riccio was dead. I could never forget that. Never.