گوزن

CHAPTER TWO

Deer

Where am I? Where is everybody? Where’s the village? Oh! I remember.

I’ve just woken up. I think it’s early morning. It’s still a little dark because there are trees all around me.

I don’t want to sit up and look yet. When I sit up, I will see my animal family. I think I can smell them. I feel a little ill. People don’t smell like that.

The trouble is, I’ve never been near an animal before. We don’t have animals in the village, of course. We have to leave animals alone, so we always stay behind our village wall.

In the old days people kept cats or dogs in the house; today you would go to prison for keeping an animal.

I’m going to sit up and look at my animal family now.

They’re deer. I didn’t want deer. I wanted a strong animal which can fight, not an animal which runs away like deer. Well, I’m not going to run away.

One of the deer is looking at me because I’m moving. I’m trying to stand up but it’s difficult. My body is cold; I’ve never been so cold in my life. I was lying on the wet ground and of course they didn’t give me any clothes to wear. I have to move very slowly until I get warm.

There are three deer - no, four. I didn’t see the fourth at first because it’s very small. I think it’s a baby. It’s lying beside the deer which is looking at me - I think that’s its mother.

The mother is watching me carefully - she thinks I’m her baby too. Poor mother! I’m a strange baby for her to have. There’s another deer which looks young - perhaps one year old. The last deer is the biggest - I think he’s the father of the two young deer.

There’s more light now. The deer are moving around, taking leaves from the trees and eating them. I’m hungry too. I want my breakfast.

What’s for breakfast, mother? Don’t answer that. I don’t think I can eat your food. I know how to find fruit which is good for me and to look in the ground for roots to eat; I learnt all that in the village school. Everybody learns because everybody does the Year of Sharing.

I’ll just take a walk and find some food.

Hey, get off! Stop that! What are you doing?

That was the big deer which is the father, I think. He didn’t let me take a walk. He ran and pushed me back next to mother. This is terrible. Because of my smell, he thinks I’m a baby. Listen, father - I want to find something to eat!

Deer don’t talk much, do they?

Sorry I haven’t said anything for a long time. There’s nothing to say. I’m very, very hungry. I’ve missed breakfast and I’ve missed lunch and soon I’m going to miss dinner. It’s late afternoon. This deer family likes to move around a lot.

Mother and Baby and I stay together - Father makes sure of that. Brother - the other young deer - sometimes stays with us, but is often alone. Father doesn’t like it if Brother follows him.

I’ve looked for roots in the ground but I haven’t found anything. I saw a tree with good fruit on it. I tried to climb the tree but Father knocked me off with his antlers. He was angry. Deer don’t climb trees!

So I am HUNGRY.

I’m not cold now. That’s because we move around a lot. My arms and legs have a lot of little cuts on them. Well, I’m not wearing clothes and so I keep cutting myself on trees and other things. And my feet hurt.

I didn’t think that life with animals would be like this. I thought my new life would be fast, dangerous and exciting.

It isn’t. We just walk through the trees. The deer eat while I watch and feel hungry. Then we walk on a little more.

The deer don’t talk, they don’t make any sounds. Well, sometimes Mother makes a little noise to Baby (and to me because I’m a ‘baby’ too). And Baby answers with another little noise. But it’s nothing special. Mother is saying, ‘Where are you?’ and Baby is answering, ‘I’m here.’ That’s all.

When Mother asked me, ‘Where are you?’

I didn’t answer at first. But she went on asking and asking and asking, and I felt sorry for her. I’m her baby, or she thinks I am. So then I answered, ‘I’m here,’ like Baby - I tried to make the same sound as Baby. I’m sure it’s right because Mother asks only once now.

Father never talks to Mother. Brother sometimes makes the noise for, ‘I’m here,’ but nobody listens.

I like Baby. She’s sweet. Yes, she’s a girl deer. She’s soft to touch, she’s funny and she’s always jumping up and down. She smells of milk.

Because I have nothing to do, I play with Baby. I try to catch her. We run round and round Mother. Then she goes under Mother and I follow, which is funny because I’m nearly as big as Mother.

Mother stops moving because she doesn’t want to put her foot down on one of us. When I catch Baby, she suddenly jumps out of my arms. She’s like a ball - she uses her four legs to push hard and she jumps high up.

One day of this life is interesting. Not comfortable, but interesting. Two days will be a little boring, I think. After three days I’ll want to scream. And I’ve got a year of this life.

It’s evening now. It suddenly got dark. And cold. I haven’t eaten a single thing all day. We swam across a river in the afternoon, so I drank a lot of water then.

These deer are really good at swimming. Baby can swim too - but Mother and Father helped Baby and me.

The deer family is going to spend the night here. All right. I would like to go and look for something to put over myself, to keep myself warm. I don’t think Father will let me. Let’s see.

I was right. Father didn’t let me. I’ll just have to be cold.

It’s spring - the Year of Sharing usually begins in spring. I don’t know what a winter night will be like. Perhaps I will learn to keep warm by then.

Brother is asleep. Baby is lying beside Mother. Father is walking in a slow circle around us. He’s listening and smelling the wind. He’ll make sure we’re not in danger.

I’m sitting on the ground, with my arms round my body, trying to keep warm, but I’m shaking with cold.

Baby is drinking Mother’s milk.

For the first time today I feel lonely. I don’t often feel lonely. I don’t need people. I think it’s the dark and the cold and being hungry and feeling sorry for myself and listening to Baby drinking Mother’s warm milk and knowing that I can’t do that.

Mother just said, ‘Where are you?’ to me.

I made the sound which means, ‘I’m here.’

I’m falling asleep while I speak. I drank Mother’s milk. I’m lying with Baby next to Mother and it’s very warm. I don’t feel lonely. Good night.