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CHAPTER THREE

Wolves

I’ve just lived through the worst two weeks of my life. I feel a lot better now; that’s why I’m speaking again.

I didn’t want to say anything when there wasn’t anything good to say.

It rained most of the time. When it wasn’t raining, the water was still falling off the leaves of the trees.

I was wet, cold, tired and hungry all the time. I was ill. My head hurt, my stomach hurt, my feet and legs hurt and I was always getting little cuts on my body.

Worst of all I missed home; I wanted to be back in the village.

That’s still true. I don’t want to be here. Deer are not people. I said I didn’t need people, but I think I was wrong.

It’s hard to think when you can’t talk to anybody.

I’m friends with Baby and Brother. I like both of them. Baby is sweet and Brother is afraid of nothing.

The two older deer are afraid of everything-afraid of birds singing, birds not singing, a cloud going over the sun, a leaf falling.

When they’re afraid, they jump. They’re always jumping!

When Mother thinks we’re in danger, she pushes me and Baby with her nose. She takes us to dark places in the forest where the trees are crowded together.

We move quickly and quietly, in and out of the trees. I’m beginning to feel afraid of everything now. It’s stupid. I’ve not seen anything to be afraid of.

I’m getting thin because I don’t eat very much.

I find a few wild vegetables and a little fruit every day and I drink Mother’s milk before I sleep. That’s all.

These deer eat all the time. They like eating from some trees, not others. Mother has to help Baby to get leaves and fruit. She tries to help me too, but deer food is not my food. I can’t eat it.

Mother is unhappy because I’m not eating well. Poor Mother! I’m angry with her all day, but I sleep with her like a baby at night. It’s strange.

My feelings for Mother are very strong - stronger than my feelings for my real mother - both good and bad feelings.

Father doesn’t come near us very often. He keeps walking around, up and down. He stands tall and looks through the trees.

He puts his nose high up and smells carefully. He gets the best things to eat and he pushes the rest of the family away if they try to eat near him.

I didn’t wear clothes for the first week and that was terrible because we’re in the forest all the time, and I couldn’t stop getting cuts. So I made some clothes out of leaves.

They’re not very good clothes and I have to keep making new ones, but they stop most of the cuts and also keep me warm - well, not very warm, but I’m not as cold as before.

So I’m feeling better. A little warmer, a little more food in my stomach and my body doesn’t hurt now.

And I’m stronger and quicker and I can hear and see better too. If you can’t talk to anybody, you look and listen and smell.

Brother and I are always trying to see who can jump higher. I lose - most of the time. But I’m getting better. We both enjoy it.

There’s no rain this morning, which is really wonderful. Up above there’s only blue sky between the trees. Down here it’s not warm, but it’s not cold and wet any more. Ow!

Something happened! Father ran up and knocked me over with his antlers. He wants me to be quiet.

Now I’m speaking very softly. All the deer have stopped eating. Only Father is moving now, walking very slowly, putting one foot down carefully before moving the next foot.

It’s very, very quiet. Not a sound anywhere. Why is it so quiet? Why are there no birds singing?

Oh! Now I can see it. It’s an animal coming through the trees, not quickly, not slowly. It’s a wolf!

There’s only one wolf. Oops! Mother just pushed me because she wants me to move.

Now she’s pushing Baby. The family is moving away, going deeper into the forest. Brother doesn’t want to run away, and he’s looking at me. Will I run away?

No, I’m not going to run. It’s stupid. There are four deer and me against just one wolf. We can fight and the wolf will run away.

I’m staying. I’ve got a big stick and some stones and I can fight this wolf alone if I have to.

Father has gone. Mother’s coming back for me - no, she isn’t. She’s stopped, she can’t leave Baby.

Brother’s coming to stand with me. Mother and Baby have gone. There’s only Brother, me and the wolf now. I’m not afraid. Let’s see how the wolf likes getting a stone on its nose. Take that!

I missed him! I’m good at throwing stones, but the wolf jumped to one side very fast.

Now I’m throwing each stone as hard as I can. The wolf’s jumping all over the place, but he’s not running away. Well, I’ve still got my stick. Brother can use his feet to fight with. We’ll be all right.

Oh no!

Two more wolves are coming, and they’re coming fast. Brother, go! Get out of here! That’s right.

Now I’m alone. There’s only one thing to do.

I nearly died. I made a very big mistake when I decided to stand and fight. That’s what a person does, not a deer. I’m a deer.

I smell like a deer and so wolves think I’m a deer too.

I feel bad. I feel small, and unimportant. I’m not a person. I’m just an animal. If another animal is stronger than me, it can kill me. I didn’t understand that before.

I saved Brother; I’m happy about that. The first wolf ran at me, very fast; I suddenly jumped right over him. I’m wonderful at jumping. After two weeks with deer, anybody would be wonderful.

The wolf didn’t turn very quickly. I looked around for the other two wolves and saw that they weren’t coming for me, they were following Brother. This was bad.

I screamed, because I wanted the wolves to think I was afraid; then they would follow me, not Brother.

But when I screamed, I knew I really was afraid, and the wolves knew it too. That was terrible. All three wolves stopped and ran straight at me.

Yes, I was afraid! I dropped the stick and ran like a. like a deer. There was a big tree in front of me and in seconds I was at the top of it.

And here I am. The wolves sat under my tree for hours with a hungry look in their eyes. They left not long ago, just before it got dark.

And this is where I’m staying. I can’t find the deer in the dark. I can’t lie down with Mother and drink her milk.

I don’t think I can sleep in a tree. but I’ll try. And I’m sorry Brother nearly died because of me.

Will I see my deer family again?