دختر با لباس قرمز

CHAPTER EIGHT

The girl in the red dress

That evening was the beginning of something wonderful, because Jim and I met often after that. Sometimes he went out with his friends or stayed at home to study. But we saw each other as often as we could.

We met in cafes or in bars, or we just went for walks. Sometimes we used pen and paper to talk, but usually I read his lips. I showed him some more sign language too. But often we didn’t have to talk at all.

We just liked being together. When we weren’t together we sent each other text messages and emails. In this way we spoke to each other every day.

Sometimes I felt I was living a dream, a very good dream. I was in love and I was very happy.

Until the day I met the girl in the red dress again. The girl from the party.

It was a Monday morning and I was on my way to work. Mum had left early to meet a new parent, so I was walking. It was a sunny day, and I was feeling good.

I went to the shops to buy food for the children’s lunches and then I walked through the park. I was probably thinking about Jim, because I was always thinking about Jim.

I didn’t see the girl with the red dress until she stood in front of me. She wasn’t wearing a red dress that day, of course, but I knew who she was.

‘Hello,’ I said, but she didn’t say anything. She just stood there and looked at me. Then, when she started speaking, she talked really quickly. Too quickly.

‘Please,’ I said. ‘Can you speak more slowly? I can’t understand you.’

She looked cross. ‘What?’ I saw her say. ‘I can’t understand you!

My face went red, but I tried again, speaking carefully. ‘Please speak more slowly so I can read your lips. I’m deaf.’

When she spoke again, she spoke very slowly. Too slowly. I could understand every word. ‘Jim was my boyfriend before he met you,’ she said. ‘My boyfriend.

We were very happy together. Very happy. I’m good for him in a way you can never be good for him. How can you be good for him? You can’t hear his music!’

‘His music?’ I didn’t understand what she meant.

She looked at me. ‘Don’t you know about his music?’ she said. Jim plays in a band! I can’t believe you don’t know that! The band means everything to him. Everything.

And he needs to be with someone who can hear his music. Jim writes songs. Didn’t you know that? You really don’t know Jim very well, do you? He writes songs and he plays them to me before he tries them with the band.

He could never do that with you, could he? So stay away from him, understand? You’ll never make him happy the way I do.’

She waited for a moment to see if I would say anything, but I was too hurt inside to speak. Hurt and afraid. So she said it one more time: ‘Stay away from Jim.’ Then she left.

There was a seat in the park under a tree. I sat down on it and watched her walk away. My head hurt. It was lull of her words. She was Jim’s girlfriend until he met me.

Was that true? Why didn’t he tell me? And he played music in a band. Was that true as well? I thought I knew Jim, but now I didn’t know what to believe or to think I only knew that I was afraid. Very afraid. I knew why Jim never spoke to me about his music. Because I’m deaf.

Just then I felt my phone ring. I took it from my bag and looked at it. There was a text message from Jim.

Meet me tonight.

I love you, Jim

I didn’t answer the message.

Mum looked at me when I arrived at Busy Kids. ‘Are you all right, Sam?’ she asked me. ‘You look ill.’

‘I’m OK,’ I signed and I took the shopping into the kitchen where we make the children’s lunches. Mum followed me.

‘Sam?’ she said. ‘What is it?’

I didn’t want to talk about it. But Mum’s face was very worried, so I told her.

‘You must speak to Jim,’ she said. ‘Do you want me to phone him?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘No, thank you. I need to think.’

I was sad all day. No, I was worse than sad. My happy world was broken into pieces.

At four o’clock Mum told me to go home early. ‘I’ve got a friend coming for dinner, but I’m busy here,’ she said. ‘Can you cook something?’

I was happy to go home early, but I wasn’t hungry. But I made a pizza for Mum and her friend.

Mum got home at six o’clock and went to have a shower. When somebody comes to the front door at our house, the lights go on and off. Then I know that someone’s there. The lights in the kitchen went on and off while I was making a salad and Mum was in the shower. I went to the front door to see who it was.

I could see a man through the glass. It was Jim.

I opened the door. He was smiling, but I couldn’t smile back. I was pleased to see him, but I was sad too, because of the meeting with the girl.

‘Hi, Sam,’ he said. ‘These are for you.’ Then I saw he had some flowers. Beautiful flowers. Red roses, lots of them. Flowers for a boyfriend to give to his girlfriend.

But in my head I saw the girl from the party in her red dress. The roses were the same colour as her dress. Did Jim give her roses when he was her boyfriend?

‘Thank you,’ I took the flowers from him, and when I looked up again, Jim was saying something. Except of course I didn’t know what it was. I don’t think I have ever felt so sad about being deaf as at that moment.

Jim took the flowers back from me and put them down on a table inside the house. Then he put his arms around me. I knew he was trying to show me what he wanted to say to me. It was the same thing as his text message, the same thing as the roses: ‘I love you.’

I was happy that Jim loved me. But I was still sad because I knew love wasn’t enough.